Alot has been said already.. Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing & equally sweet when there is reciprocity of love but we all know that even that isn't enough to sustain a long-term relationship.. We should always try to be considerate & understanding, trust maybe(cos humans tend to take it for granted oftentimes than not, love too, in the same vein), respect(this can never be overemphasized), some level of emotional maturity(very important), sense of commitment & responsibility(almost same context with emotional maturity), ofcourse I won't forget excellent communication with God, and with each other.. Lemme jus stop there

I must say nice one franchasng, your authenticity is incredible

Gvnl, jaxxy, Adinije, gabicon, justhairs, Joejonah, femi4, Juliearth, Belexy95, franchasng Chukwuzobam89, lucky4west, Joydan95, DedeNkem, y'all have said it all.. Thanks for y'all profound inputs, it is indeed refreshing to read.

Don't take each other for granted and treat your spouse like they will be fine on their own. Still show that love and attention that was there from the start.

Don't neglect each other.

And when the baby comes, don't shift attention and neglect the man. He still needs his wife. Don't use the child as an excuse to neglect him.

Just talk, talk and talk, hangout alone together.

Sleep alone in your bed together.

The way you make your marriage is the way it will be.

FalseProphet1:
Marriage has become terrible because sex is so cheap these days, the day girls learn to close their legs and preserve their chastity is the day marriages will begin to experience the blessings God created it to experience. You can turn yourself into a sperm bank and expect to enjoy your marriage...I see many more marriages crash because of premarital sex. This I have seen.

Honestly i don't get it, when we reduced an institution to just sex? it sound lame, don't get me wrong am not ok with premarital sex. In my opinion marriage is a mess today b/coz it's build on money/sex no character no wisdom for home building in todays women, only competitors, women build home. Our forefathers didn't just kept concubine, some were second,third and fouth wives living in same compound; sharing. A woman's job is to do what a man can't do with humility, what's ur value if u do what i can do? No matter how salty maggi is it can never take the place of salt in a soup

jaxxy:
I think u get to see who u really married so God help u. Lol

All those who rush into marriage without knowing their partners or have skills to see/read handwritings on the wall. The red flags become bolder. Everything gets magnified, the good, bad and ugly if any. The Scales fall off.

So if u married sm1 real with u or a friend then u have no problems if not sorry is ur case.

Love and frndship work simultaneously so when or if love drops, frndship is there till loves picks up.

For marriage to succeed there are laws, guidelines and principles.

1. Independent: there must be a level of independence, u must be able to takecare of ur family to a level suitable with u and ur partner while u grow.

2. Love: it’s an important ingredient bt I have come to notice it’s not a must at the beginning because for some love grows over time. Also Love urself 1st.

3. God factor. I cannot overemphasize this. I’m not talking of overly religious people or fanatics here pls bt a relationship with God.

4. Understanding: know urself 1st and u can know ur partner and how to work with them

5. Motivation: marriage is a journey and even a love contract or business contract.. U need to motivate one another not become sloppy. Once u get sloppy and lackadaisical, u get bored and tired. Achieve goals together, work on projects together, help each other be a better version of themselves. Keep fit together and support each other.

6. Be faithful. Keep ur vows and respect them for ur peace of mind. Some don’t see this as necessary especially men bt u create problems in ur home when u keep jumping outside and forming bad habits.

what do you mean by overly religious people

ogub:
what do you mean by overly religious people

Being overly religious isn’t being Christian or God fearing many are just acting scripts and being hypocritical.

My own advise fie guys ONLY,NEVER EVER SIGN THAT PAPER.

MaximumMazi:
What happens after marriage is divorce.

However, after marriage/wedding ceremonies comes marriage itself and whatever works for you, that I advise you do cause this thing called marriage doesn't have a universally accepted formula.

I have chosen my own path and to the glory of God, it's working for me.

are you married

trailblazar:

Two lane street: you are either enjoying or enduring., Everyone gets a turn..not sure you can always enjoy...

Tho you are right but marriage mostly endured than enjoyed. Two weeks honeymoon is a far cry from ten years in marriage as man and wife.

1F30M4:
Alot has been said already.. Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing & equally sweet when there is reciprocity of love but we all know that even that isn't enough to sustain a long-term relationship.. We should always try to be considerate & understanding, trust maybe(cos humans tend to take it for granted oftentimes than not, love too, in the same vein), respect(this can never be overemphasized), some level of emotional maturity(very important), sense of commitment & responsibility(almost same context with emotional maturity), ofcourse I won't forget excellent communication with God, and with each other.. Lemme jus stop there

I must say nice one franchasng, your authenticity is incredible

Gvnl, jaxxy, Adinije, gabicon, justhairs, Joejonah, femi4, Juliearth, Belexy95, franchasng Chukwuzobam89, lucky4west, Joydan95, DedeNkem, y'all have said it all.. Thanks for y'all profound inputs, it is indeed refreshing to read.

See as all of una just de make my big head swell the more, if e burst I go hold all of una responsible oh


Tenkiuuu.....it feels good interacting with real people of diverse culture and location on this forum, I am humbled, thank you ma

AmazoTopaz:


I have a boyfriend but sometimes he is the one that link me to men for hookup. I love him he loves me but we but have needs. So I do hookup

that means you are ok with open marriage

AmazoTopaz:


Na him go lose na. He will have to start paying to get access to my body then

why are you such a naughty and bad girl.

H2ho:
Marry a Virgin & have Peace of Mind.

I just de laugh Lol

tete7000:


I understand your point, a woman who supports her husband. I replied you because your response was ts to that of a person who wondered why all immoral misgivings must be blamed at girls' doorsteps. Men have leading role to play in the society. The society fails usually because men fail to lead. We should never teach our daughters to marry just any man for marrying sake. They must marry godly men who understand what marriage is all about. There are too many worldly, warped narratives about marriage that can easily confuse non-discernible minds. Narailand is full of such and I usually warn young people around me to be wary of what they swallow from social media, not usually a good place to look for marital advice. God is the author of marriage and irrespective of what the world preaches, his intention concerning what marriage should look like has not changed and he is ever willing to help those who look up to him navigate through difficult terrain of searching for and getting responsible and godly spouses.

I wish posts could be pinned! Applaudir!!!

@emboldened, super important!

Saintmary:


Your opinion is just perfect.

Why not run a life coaching class for young boys.

I'll give him some boys to coach, because most "men" these days...disappointing!

Parizz:
Tho you are right but marriage mostly endured than enjoyed. Two weeks honeymoon is a far cry from ten years in marriage as man and wife.

Why focus on the 2week honeymoon? Make a commitment to enjoy more than endure...look up ideas to make your marriage interesting....it all starts in the mind..sometimes a little lie told right goes a long way..

chatinent:


oh

It's as simple as how you are with your male friends. You don't feel uneasy around them... communication is easy... they know the good and the bad about you. You guys talk about nonsense, and about serious things... there's no pretence... Even when there's nothing serious going on, you can stay in each other's company and enjoy companionable silence. When you're in a dire situation, they're the first you reach out to for help.

That's the "friend" you should marry.

PrimadonnaO:


I'll give him some boys to coach, because most "men" these days...disappointing!

You have a point.
It's better to work on the young ones

bepositive11:


Wow! Very very insightful! Thanks a lot for sharing! Wish this was on the first page. Hope people see this.

You mentioned how important it is to marry the right partner. Any tips for knowing who the right partner is?

Yes, if you marry the wrong person, you're setting yourself up for a huge failure and, in some cases, could deteriorate your health or even cause you bodily harm or death.

That's why you must date the person long enough to really know who they actually are before even the thought of marriage sets in.

Selecting the right life partner is necessary to lead a happy married life. Here’s how you can select your perfect one.

There are many factors that one needs to consider when choosing a life partner. The most important aspect is to consider things that are crucial to you.

Find someone who you can connect with easily.

It is very important to choose somebody who you can easily strike a conversation with. This way, you can enjoy doing things and talking about them together without getting bored.


Potential partner with same interests.

Selecting someone who shares a lot of common interests with you will work in your favour. Remember that all your interests don’t really have to be the same, but some would do. You must look at things that the two of you would love to do together. For example, if you are a movie buff, you would ideally like to be with someone who enjoys movies as well. This will make your life interesting.


Consider your partner's intellect.

If you are a laid-back person and your partner is an over-achiever, that could lead to a threat in your marriage. You must see eye to eye on how both of you are able to think and process things.


It's okay to have standards.

While choosing a life partner, you need to consider your and your family’s standards. Though it’s okay to choose someone who probably does not belong to the same strata of society as yours, make sure that he/she’s not completely off the mark.


You should have respect for one another.

You obviously cannot spend your life with someone who has no respect for you or your dreams/goals or your personality. So, choose someone who will acknowledge you for the rest of your life.


Is your potential trustworthy.

In this day and age, it is extremely important to choose someone you can trust. You definitely cannot lead a happy marriage if you cannot trust each other or have faith.


Spend time together.

Just as important as it is to have similar interests, it is also crucial to be with someone who gives you enough time and who you would love to spend time with.


Look out for the following red flags

- You justify their bad behaviour: If you find yourself justifying away what he/she does or says, even though these feel wrong in your gut, then that's a surefire red flag.

- They don't talk through issues: The person's behavior that may indicate that the relationship won't work is the unwillingness to talk through issues, big or small.

All couples have disagreements. That's perfectly normal and healthy. But it's how you handle those disagreements that can really make or break things. Does your partner walk away? Shut down? Place all the blame on you? Throw a tantrum? These are all red flags.

In a good relationship, a couple can and will talk through issues, listening to the other person's point of view and expressing his or her own. No one needs to win or lose. It's about expressing how something makes you feel and being heard. Communication is key.

- They're constantly testing your boundaries: Run from anyone who attempts to cross a boundary that you have set. Few examples are;

* You have said you do not want to go further sexually and they insist.

* You say you are not available on Sunday, but they push you to see them.

* You are not ready to have them meet your family members or friends, but they push you.

* They want to move in or get married before you want.

* They try to change the way you wear your hair or your clothes or anything else about you that feels like 'you,' and it makes you uncomfortable.

- They have a massive sense of entitlement: When we see that somebody feels entitled to us doing more for them than what is equal in a relationship, that's a huge red flag that they are someone who uses people. Are they comfortable with using us? Because it just shows a real clear lack of care.

- Something in your gut feels wrong: Since red flags happen along the way road of abuse, victims see different behaviors as time and abuse goes on.

The first thing to look for is your own intuition and listening to your gut - if you have the feeling something is wrong, things aren't adding up, then trust that. Past relationship history is key to understanding their behaviors, as is the way they talk about past partners. If everyone in their past was 'crazy,' that is a huge red flag.

- Everything is about them: One major red flag in relationships is when everyday life, events, conversations, and basic interactions are frequently about that person — where there's constant manipulation and abuse of power over you.

- They are overly critical about their previous partners: People are very predictable. Whatever they have done in previous relationships they are likely to do again.

This means that if you listen carefully to how your new lover describes his or her important previous relationships and how he or she speaks about their exes, you can learn a lot about how this person is likely to treat you.

- They constantly deny, criticise, or dismiss you: You may be in a relationship with an emotional manipulator if you see an emotional double standard in the relationship, experience your feelings being denied, criticised, or dismissed, find yourself 'giving in' to keep the peace, and see your self-esteem diminishing.

You may get a feeling that there is something not right — e.g., secrets, unexplained behaviors, unexpected reactions, or are increasingly criticised, blamed, put down, or discounted (often done jokingly at first), and feel confused by 'explanations' given about hurtful behaviors.


In summary

Actions speak louder than words. If your date says one thing and does another, look deep into yourself and tell yourself it will only get worse and walk away. If you are dating someone who tries to rush a relationship without giving you time to get to know them properly, slow it down yourself and take control. If they are not patient with this request, you get out.

Never be rushed, even if it feels good. A soulmate will be kind and patient, while abusers rush to confuse victims and to control. If you prove hard to control quickly, an abuser will back off, and you will save yourself heartache.

There are good people out there, all you need to do is find the right one for you.

The wedding day is a 100-meter dash whilst the marriage proper is a never ending marathon that only those who marry their soulmate will have a marriage that lasts.

Most people marry not because they are soulmates or friends but because of beauty and good sex and these flimsy reasons can not stand the storms of living together with a different human being.

Marriage is a case of fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

After marriage, you guys start taking one another for granted.

Romance and courtship disappear.

After the kids come, the woman transfers the affection to the children and has little or no time for the emotional or physical needs of her husband.

The woman may also start comparing her struggling husband to her friends more successful husband instead of praying for and encouraging her husband.

Some couples report themselves to their extended family hence destroying their own marriage themselves.

The love never remains the same and in a lot of cases the love depreciates daily especially after 2 kids and lifes struggles to the extent that the love may actually die if not consciously nurtured.

Life in marriage can be good if you marry your friend and soulmate and generally the best years of a marriage are the years before you have any children 'cos once the children start coming, the game changes drastically as the man starts feeling his daily physical needs ignored as his wife focuses principally on the children who get most or all of her affection and if care is not taken by the time the kids reach age 18 and go to university, husband and wife have become mere co-tenants in the same house and the love between them has disappeared never to return again.

Marriage can get to a stage where husband and wife are just tolerating themselves and if care is not taken they can actually see palpable mutual hatred for one another in one anothers eyes whenever they argue or quarrel.

The arguments will increase in frequency, intensity and bitterness the longer the marriage lasts if you were not friends / soulmates before marriage.

Money will definitely cause quarrels / arguments in a marriage especially if one party is competing to have more savings than the other or if one party tells his or her extended family anything or everything about who is paying for what at the moment.

One of the reasons unions / marriages last longer between English people is that their unions / marriages are based on trust, devoid of lies , devoid of external family interference, and they live together for at least 18 months before marrying (if they actually marry) and they always have a joint account and even if one of them does not have a job, the working party has the mentality that what is mine is ours to be shared equally in love.

Westerners may not always marry but even whilst living unmarried, they exhibit more love than all Nigerian marriages that was contracted in a religious setting.

In marriage there is no secret and you can not hide anybody parts or habits from one another and in a good marriage you should both learn to be naked and not ashamed before one another as there will be countless times when you have to use the toilet and clean up in full view of your husband/wife who may be having a shower in the same bathroom and if he beats you to the loo, you may have to in his presence squat in the bath and urinate there as in marriage there is no place to hide the good, bad and ugly - every thing is out in the open between you two.


Once cheating comes into the equation then trust starts being affected but women should learn and be mature enough not to use sex as a weapon to control their husband as doing so is just pushing the red-blooded man into the arms and beds of willing younger ladies .

All men (except if they have blood circulatory problems) will have an early morning erection and if the wife makes a habit of denying her husband sex then he will cheat on her to satisfy a basic human need that even the woman's pastor also has.

Trust is built on mutual transparency and honesty, nothing more, nothing less. In a marriage where there is love, there is 100% honesty as no party sees the need to deceive, lie or hide anything from their spouse .

The care and love remains the same only if you married your soul mate and you take time every week at least to curt one another - e.g by taking yourselves out on a date at least once a week and to address any issues immediately instead of allowing molehills to become mountains.


Marriage is only worth it if you marry your soul mate and that person does not have to be from your tribe and can even be non Nigerian

Whilst you are at it if you want your marriage to last, learn to forgive and forget, don't hold grudges, dont seek revenge and do not compete with one another.

Keep all third parties out of your marriage and third parties include any human including your pastor, imam, parent, sibling, friend, foe, in-laws or out-laws.

Don't allow any relative to come live with you and if you can afford it rent their own place for yhem as once the sanctity and privacy of your marital home is breached, you no longer have any privacy. Once a third party lives with you, a little quarrel you could settle easily before suddenly becomes a big issue as one party does not want to lose face in the presence of his or her family member.

Never discuss your spouses faults with your extended family 'cos if you do so, your marriage will collapse eventually.


Finally, be honest with one another 'cos anything built on a foundation of lies will collapse sooner or later.

DedeNkem:


Yes, if you marry the wrong person, you're setting yourself up for a huge failure and, in some cases, could deteriorate your health or even cause you bodily harm or death.

That's why you must date the person long enough to really know who they actually are before even the thought of marriage sets in.

Selecting the right life partner is necessary to lead a happy married life. Here’s how you can select your perfect one.

There are many factors that one needs to consider when choosing a life partner. The most important aspect is to consider things that are crucial to you.

Find someone who you can connect with easily.

It is very important to choose somebody who you can easily strike a conversation with. This way, you can enjoy doing things and talking about them together without getting bored.


Potential partner with same interests.

Selecting someone who shares a lot of common interests with you will work in your favour. Remember that all your interests don’t really have to be the same, but some would do. You must look at things that the two of you would love to do together. For example, if you are a movie buff, you would ideally like to be with someone who enjoys movies as well. This will make your life interesting.


Consider your partner's intellect.

If you are a laid-back person and your partner is an over-achiever, that could lead to a threat in your marriage. You must see eye to eye on how both of you are able to think and process things.


It's okay to have standards.

While choosing a life partner, you need to consider your and your family’s standards. Though it’s okay to choose someone who probably does not belong to the same strata of society as yours, make sure that he/she’s not completely off the mark.


You should have respect for one another.

You obviously cannot spend your life with someone who has no respect for you or your dreams/goals or your personality. So, choose someone who will acknowledge you for the rest of your life.


Is your potential trustworthy.

In this day and age, it is extremely important to choose someone you can trust. You definitely cannot lead a happy marriage if you cannot trust each other or have faith.


Spend time together.

Just as important as it is to have similar interests, it is also crucial to be with someone who gives you enough time and who you would love to spend time with.


Look out for the following red flags

- You justify their bad behaviour: If you find yourself justifying away what he/she does or says, even though these feel wrong in your gut, then that's a surefire red flag.

- They don't talk through issues: The person's behavior that may indicate that the relationship won't work is the unwillingness to talk through issues, big or small.

All couples have disagreements. That's perfectly normal and healthy. But it's how you handle those disagreements that can really make or break things. Does your partner walk away? Shut down? Place all the blame on you? Throw a tantrum? These are all red flags.

In a good relationship, a couple can and will talk through issues, listening to the other person's point of view and expressing his or her own. No one needs to win or lose. It's about expressing how something makes you feel and being heard. Communication is key.

- They're constantly testing your boundaries: Run from anyone who attempts to cross a boundary that you have set. Few examples are;

* You have said you do not want to go further sexually and they insist.

* You say you are not available on Sunday, but they push you to see them.

* You are not ready to have them meet your family members or friends, but they push you.

* They want to move in or get married before you want.

* They try to change the way you wear your hair or your clothes or anything else about you that feels like 'you,' and it makes you uncomfortable.

- They have a massive sense of entitlement: When we see that somebody feels entitled to us doing more for them than what is equal in a relationship, that's a huge red flag that they are someone who uses people. Are they comfortable with using us? Because it just shows a real clear lack of care.

- Something in your gut feels wrong: Since red flags happen along the way road of abuse, victims see different behaviors as time and abuse goes on.

The first thing to look for is your own intuition and listening to your gut - if you have the feeling something is wrong, things aren't adding up, then trust that. Past relationship history is key to understanding their behaviors, as is the way they talk about past partners. If everyone in their past was 'crazy,' that is a huge red flag.

- Everything is about them: One major red flag in relationships is when everyday life, events, conversations, and basic interactions are frequently about that person — where there's constant manipulation and abuse of power over you.

- They are overly critical about their previous partners: People are very predictable. Whatever they have done in previous relationships they are likely to do again.

This means that if you listen carefully to how your new lover describes his or her important previous relationships and how he or she speaks about their exes, you can learn a lot about how this person is likely to treat you.

- They constantly deny, criticise, or dismiss you: You may be in a relationship with an emotional manipulator if you see an emotional double standard in the relationship, experience your feelings being denied, criticised, or dismissed, find yourself 'giving in' to keep the peace, and see your self-esteem diminishing.

You may get a feeling that there is something not right — e.g., secrets, unexplained behaviors, unexpected reactions, or are increasingly criticised, blamed, put down, or discounted (often done jokingly at first), and feel confused by 'explanations' given about hurtful behaviors.


In summary

Actions speak louder than words. If your date says one thing and does another, look deep into yourself and tell yourself it will only get worse and walk away. If you are dating someone who tries to rush a relationship without giving you time to get to know them properly, slow it down yourself and take control. If they are not patient with this request, you get out.

Never be rushed, even if it feels good. A soulmate will be kind and patient, while abusers rush to confuse victims and to control. If you prove hard to control quickly, an abuser will back off, and you will save yourself heartache.

There are good people out there, all you need to do is find the right one for you.

Amazing!!! Really great points!!! I wonder how come you're so knowledgeable about all these things. I've saved it. Will keep referring to refresh my memory. Thanks a lot!!!

GloShare:


Scam

You dont know the length a rogue virgin can go after marriage!


By then, you're beating your chest that you married a virgin... she has all your trust, but she gets the most nudge to test the waters!

Its not about virginity, its about the individual.

Stop scaring me abeg even the V

younglleo:
My only advice for people wanting to venture into marriage is this......
Don't marry her, as long as u no get 10 fvckin million standby!
Don't marry, marriage na scam!
A very big scam
I mean, our present marriage, bcus las las, office romancers will knack ur wife
Forget marriage, if u need more advice, u tell me make i drop my btc address, my advice cost shaa...
But u see dat marriage, them go knack ur wife unless....
(Ask for my btc address incase u want the full gist)

Haha so you will be working hard to provide while daughter of jazabel will give it free to a bad boy?

gulfer:
No matter how much you think you've already known your spouse, a lot will unravel after tying the knot, be prepared for shocks, be ready to absorb it and move on. Marriage is like wrapped moimoi in leaf, what you see after buying is not guaranteed

Hahahahahaha

franchasng:
Op stop listening to hearsay from people on issues of marriage, especially people on the internet aka social media platforms.....most of them will paint marriage as one evil institution or another maybe out of their own failed experience they then go about generalising.....whereas millions of people around Nigeria and all over the world are all enjoying blissful marriage, so aspire to be those enjoying being married and that's what you will get because "law of attraction" works in life. You can use the power of attraction to attract all the goods things you want in life to your life, and you can also attract the negative to yourself. So always focus on the positive.


Now talking from my own personal experience as a young married man.....I have no single regrets....in fact I am enjoying being married than being single because it seems my life is now more organized and purposeful than when I was single. Mind you, I was doing well financially when I got married so I didn't marry out of no choice, I married at my own pace, not that I was a rich guy as in million million dollars oh, but I think I should be considered among the buoyant guys Nigerians see as rich; 2 tokunbo cars, live in a flat, own some landed properties being developed, owned my own business and few travel experience lol......but despite all that, when I look back at when I was single and compare it with now that I am sweetly and happily married, I can boldly say that my life is more organized and peaceful now than then lol.


I and my wife didn't officially court for a long time, we were on and off boyfriend and girlfriend all thanks to my stubborn and womanizing self lol, and her too much shakara too. I liked my wife when I first met her, she was so sexy like I desire my ladies as in, but this girl was not yielding to my moves....she indirectly accepted me oh but to fully put herself into the matter was an issue, which pushed me away to other ladies....and I always tell her that she was lucky cos I almost married another chick like that if not that she failed my final stage tests and all that.....pls ladies if you like a guy stop doing too much shakara for him cos you can lose him that way, my wife was lucky or maybe it was destiny that we would be couple at the end if not, her shakara was too much that pissed me off a lot.


But in all these, we still dated; officially for 2 years, unofficially for 4 years.....when I leave she will be the one to reconnect via Facebook chats or WhatsApp chats, especially during festive seasons, she must send me season greetings and ask how I was doing, which always got me confused and happy somehow lol. She was doing shakara but still giving me green light not to go that she likes me lol. She said her mind told her that I was a playboy that came to play her, so she was just scared of committing to me; I found out after we got married lol



So back to topic; if you are single guy, especially today, please and please, focus more on your finances; this is very important in having a successful marriage.....work work work work.....when I say work, not going around looking for job when you can't find one, if you cannot find a job, create one yourself. This is not impossible.....start something no matter how small......internet has even made it easier to start business today without any shop or office.....just have an online presence, find a business niche and be consistent and patient in your niche, it must pay off. Don't jump from one business to another just because some of your friends or people you know are making big money from it.....stay on your own lane and master it and be consistent.....and then have a clear vision of what you want, dream big oh......and always confess your heart desires without fear. Chase your dream.....while you lie down on the bed be visualizing what you want in life, I hardly sleep and it has become a part of me since teenage hood. This worked for me.


Working in an oil company or communication company or IT company or Bank or Telecom company or medical field or wherever is not the only way to be financially successful in life.....people are becoming rich from all fields of life, I am a living witness.....I have friends in virtually all fields of life and these guys are killing it money wise.....even in the things you despise and look down on.....I have a friend that's rich today through scrap recycling business......another in sound business......another in construction.....another in farming.......another in normal market trading business.....another is doing excellently well as a teacher, yes teacher......he now runs an online tutoring platform coupled with the fact that he owns a lot of physical tutorial centers in 2 different states.....so there is money in all fields of life, find a field and master it, dream big, introduce unique ideas into that field, monetize your new ideas.......multiply whatever that's working and keep doing it and you must be rich with time....remember success takes time. I started desiring to be rich from when I was a teenager lol....it may sound funny.....but while I was in higher institution, I was running businesses; extra morale classes for first year students, doing runs lol for WAEC, JAMB, etc students God forgive me, owned a call center, a photocopy center, game center......this was all as a student. I went for NYSC and launched a laptop selling business where I was serving and sold lots of laptops to fellow corpers lol



My whole point is, you need steady income to run a successful marriage today. But if you have done all your best and the money is not stabilizing the way you dream, please don't let it stop you from getting married.....but then, you must marry your friend to succeed in that situation if not, she will chicken out with time. Marry a lady that understand your vision in life, who also believes in your vision and efforts. Marry a lady who believes in time, who is also patient with life. Not all ladies are patient. Not all ladies believe that it will be better tomorrow, so don't marry such ladies......which brings us to communication during dating or courtship.....talk talk talk...don't keep mute around your partner while dating.



I have friends who married broke but today they are almost rich. Don't do this unless you have the inner conviction to do it, and like I said you must marry your friend to succeed in that condition and she must believe in you and time. Avoid lazy ladies....she may be working today but if you examine her, she is lazy. She maybe unemployed today, but if you examine her closely, she is not lazy.....avoid lazy, entitled, prideful and greedy ladies,they will frustrate your life.


Sometimes, marriage can bring you fortunes.....it can bring you luck, I don't use to believe in this, but ever since I got married, I started seeing my efforts yield more fruit than when I was single....and the moment we gave birth, it was as if my life entered a high speed.......things started working faster.......more results like its a charm lol.....I still give God all the glory.



Marriage is sweet if you marry the right person and if you prepare financially as a man. Don't have the mindset that you and your wife will share all bills....plan to cater for your family all by yourself and God will empower you for that....my wife works but I have never asked her to bring a dime for any of our family expenditure......not that this is ideal, but this is what every woman wishes for in life, even Billionaire Mrs Alakija wishes for this, and when you as their husband give them this, they will give you their best......but she must not hide her income from you, if she does, its a sign of worry. I know how much my wife earns even though she doesn't contribute, but sometimes I will jokingly tell her that I know she is planning to build a sky scrapper for her kids.....that its good....I also encourage her a lot to help her family members that stood by her while growing up....and to help people in need wherever she meets them with hesitation. But don't ever put your whole eyes on your wife's income if you want peace in your home, pray to God to empower you financially not to depend on your wife's income and you will enjoy peace in your marriage.



Before you marry, prepare financially....marriage today is financially draining if you want a standard family.....you can manage things also, but prepare, and tell God how you want your family or marriage to be, God is real oh, no let them fool you say there is no God, there is a supreme being above all humans oh.....I no be born again oh, but I tell you there is God. You don't even need much prayers to know your wife, just observe your inner piece and use your wisdom. If you are struggling financially, don't marry a jobless or unemployed lady, biko dont do it, its suicidal.



You see all those fashion designer ladies, they are good for marriage oh, that their handwork is good.....you can invest in her.....its far better than marrying an unemployed graduate lady hoping that she would secure job with Shell soon lol.....jobs don cast.



I am married but still feel like I am single.......no stress....my wife gives me freedom, peace of mind, space but she is also a monitoring spirit lol. The only thing she doesn't trust me with is beautiful ladies with big big ass because I love beautiful ladies with killer shape eh, na only that thing fit carry me go hell fire in case any of una see me for hell fire oh


and to the last part of your question, yes it remains....my wife didn't change.....in fact her love and care is even increasing to my fear lol.


Some ladies love more when they get married....so it all depends on the lady you married and how you take care of her.....but most importantly, marry a friendly lady with less baggage and keep working to have a steady income, it makes marriage sweet. Be positive and you will marry the best. I never imagined myself having marital issues while single....I use to ask friends then that why will I be fighting with my wife na.....that it cant happen and its what I am experiencing......and always encourage your wife to keep fit and watch how she eats......you must help her monitor her tummy, ugliness of a woman starts from the tummy, apology to all ladies struggling to keep their tummy flat, pls forgive my use of this word


As for house chores, I was lazy from childhood when it comes to house chores, that's the only reason my father flogged me then, but my mom always defended me then and I love her to pieces for all that she did for me then lol.


Even while single I hated house chores, it made me eat out often while in school to avoid washing plates and pots lol. So my wife know this before we got married and she never expected much from me and all thanks we have few domestic staffs that assist. But whenever I am around and in good mood then, I make her room bed lol, maybe dust her mirror stand, etc, but I bath and dress my little boy often (I cherish doing this one a lot)

What do you mean jobs Don cast stop scaring me abeg

Juliearth:





I am a woman, but I also know that it is mostly my responsibility to make my home work. Women are gatekeepers, thus they have the power to allow or disallow whatever that would eventually manifest in their homes.

Meaning

Polyglot7pointO:
everything becomes new u will learn new things including how to place milk properly in refrigerators lol

Haha

[s]

MrIcredible:
Women are mostly responsible for broken marriages.

They tend to give less attention and care after sometimes.

Their care and attention continues to reduce and it makes men feel unappreciated.

[/s] shut up

Mrlcredible:
shut up

Okay
OSU amaka.

franchasng:
Op stop listening to hearsay from people on issues of marriage, especially people on the internet aka social media platforms.....most of them will paint marriage as one evil institution or another maybe out of their own failed experience they then go about generalising.....whereas millions of people around Nigeria and all over the world are all enjoying blissful marriage, so aspire to be those enjoying being married and that's what you will get because "law of attraction" works in life. You can use the power of attraction to attract all the goods things you want in life to your life, and you can also attract the negative to yourself. So always focus on the positive.


Now talking from my own personal experience as a young married man.....I have no single regrets....in fact I am enjoying being married than being single because it seems my life is now more organized and purposeful than when I was single. Mind you, I was doing well financially when I got married so I didn't marry out of no choice, I married at my own pace, not that I was a rich guy as in million million dollars oh, but I think I should be considered among the buoyant guys Nigerians see as rich; 2 tokunbo cars, live in a flat, own some landed properties being developed, owned my own business and few travel experience lol......but despite all that, when I look back at when I was single and compare it with now that I am sweetly and happily married, I can boldly say that my life is more organized and peaceful now than then lol.


I and my wife didn't officially court for a long time, we were on and off boyfriend and girlfriend all thanks to my stubborn and womanizing self lol, and her too much shakara too. I liked my wife when I first met her, she was so sexy like I desire my ladies as in, but this girl was not yielding to my moves....she indirectly accepted me oh but to fully put herself into the matter was an issue, which pushed me away to other ladies....and I always tell her that she was lucky cos I almost married another chick like that if not that she failed my final stage tests and all that.....pls ladies if you like a guy stop doing too much shakara for him cos you can lose him that way, my wife was lucky or maybe it was destiny that we would be couple at the end if not, her shakara was too much that pissed me off a lot.


But in all these, we still dated; officially for 2 years, unofficially for 4 years.....when I leave she will be the one to reconnect via Facebook chats or WhatsApp chats, especially during festive seasons, she must send me season greetings and ask how I was doing, which always got me confused and happy somehow lol. She was doing shakara but still giving me green light not to go that she likes me lol. She said her mind told her that I was a playboy that came to play her, so she was just scared of committing to me; I found out after we got married lol



So back to topic; if you are single guy, especially today, please and please, focus more on your finances; this is very important in having a successful marriage.....work work work work.....when I say work, not going around looking for job when you can't find one, if you cannot find a job, create one yourself. This is not impossible.....start something no matter how small......internet has even made it easier to start business today without any shop or office.....just have an online presence, find a business niche and be consistent and patient in your niche, it must pay off. Don't jump from one business to another just because some of your friends or people you know are making big money from it.....stay on your own lane and master it and be consistent.....and then have a clear vision of what you want, dream big oh......and always confess your heart desires without fear. Chase your dream.....while you lie down on the bed be visualizing what you want in life, I hardly sleep and it has become a part of me since teenage hood. This worked for me.


Working in an oil company or communication company or IT company or Bank or Telecom company or medical field or wherever is not the only way to be financially successful in life.....people are becoming rich from all fields of life, I am a living witness.....I have friends in virtually all fields of life and these guys are killing it money wise.....even in the things you despise and look down on.....I have a friend that's rich today through scrap recycling business......another in sound business......another in construction.....another in farming.......another in normal market trading business.....another is doing excellently well as a teacher, yes teacher......he now runs an online tutoring platform coupled with the fact that he owns a lot of physical tutorial centers in 2 different states.....so there is money in all fields of life, find a field and master it, dream big, introduce unique ideas into that field, monetize your new ideas.......multiply whatever that's working and keep doing it and you must be rich with time....remember success takes time. I started desiring to be rich from when I was a teenager lol....it may sound funny.....but while I was in higher institution, I was running businesses; extra morale classes for first year students, doing runs lol for WAEC, JAMB, etc students God forgive me, owned a call center, a photocopy center, game center......this was all as a student. I went for NYSC and launched a laptop selling business where I was serving and sold lots of laptops to fellow corpers lol



My whole point is, you need steady income to run a successful marriage today. But if you have done all your best and the money is not stabilizing the way you dream, please don't let it stop you from getting married.....but then, you must marry your friend to succeed in that situation if not, she will chicken out with time. Marry a lady that understand your vision in life, who also believes in your vision and efforts. Marry a lady who believes in time, who is also patient with life. Not all ladies are patient. Not all ladies believe that it will be better tomorrow, so don't marry such ladies......which brings us to communication during dating or courtship.....talk talk talk...don't keep mute around your partner while dating.



I have friends who married broke but today they are almost rich. Don't do this unless you have the inner conviction to do it, and like I said you must marry your friend to succeed in that condition and she must believe in you and time. Avoid lazy ladies....she may be working today but if you examine her, she is lazy. She maybe unemployed today, but if you examine her closely, she is not lazy.....avoid lazy, entitled, prideful and greedy ladies,they will frustrate your life.


Sometimes, marriage can bring you fortunes.....it can bring you luck, I don't use to believe in this, but ever since I got married, I started seeing my efforts yield more fruit than when I was single....and the moment we gave birth, it was as if my life entered a high speed.......things started working faster.......more results like its a charm lol.....I still give God all the glory.



Marriage is sweet if you marry the right person and if you prepare financially as a man. Don't have the mindset that you and your wife will share all bills....plan to cater for your family all by yourself and God will empower you for that....my wife works but I have never asked her to bring a dime for any of our family expenditure......not that this is ideal, but this is what every woman wishes for in life, even Billionaire Mrs Alakija wishes for this, and when you as their husband give them this, they will give you their best......but she must not hide her income from you, if she does, its a sign of worry. I know how much my wife earns even though she doesn't contribute, but sometimes I will jokingly tell her that I know she is planning to build a sky scrapper for her kids.....that its good....I also encourage her a lot to help her family members that stood by her while growing up....and to help people in need wherever she meets them with hesitation. But don't ever put your whole eyes on your wife's income if you want peace in your home, pray to God to empower you financially not to depend on your wife's income and you will enjoy peace in your marriage.



Before you marry, prepare financially....marriage today is financially draining if you want a standard family.....you can manage things also, but prepare, and tell God how you want your family or marriage to be, God is real oh, no let them fool you say there is no God, there is a supreme being above all humans oh.....I no be born again oh, but I tell you there is God. You don't even need much prayers to know your wife, just observe your inner piece and use your wisdom. If you are struggling financially, don't marry a jobless or unemployed lady, biko dont do it, its suicidal.



You see all those fashion designer ladies, they are good for marriage oh, that their handwork is good.....you can invest in her.....its far better than marrying an unemployed graduate lady hoping that she would secure job with Shell soon lol.....jobs don cast.



I am married but still feel like I am single.......no stress....my wife gives me freedom, peace of mind, space but she is also a monitoring spirit lol. The only thing she doesn't trust me with is beautiful ladies with big big ass because I love beautiful ladies with killer shape eh, na only that thing fit carry me go hell fire in case any of una see me for hell fire oh


and to the last part of your question, yes it remains....my wife didn't change.....in fact her love and care is even increasing to my fear lol.


Some ladies love more when they get married....so it all depends on the lady you married and how you take care of her.....but most importantly, marry a friendly lady with less baggage and keep working to have a steady income, it makes marriage sweet. Be positive and you will marry the best. I never imagined myself having marital issues while single....I use to ask friends then that why will I be fighting with my wife na.....that it cant happen and its what I am experiencing......and always encourage your wife to keep fit and watch how she eats......you must help her monitor her tummy, ugliness of a woman starts from the tummy, apology to all ladies struggling to keep their tummy flat, pls forgive my use of this word


As for house chores, I was lazy from childhood when it comes to house chores, that's the only reason my father flogged me then, but my mom always defended me then and I love her to pieces for all that she did for me then lol.


Even while single I hated house chores, it made me eat out often while in school to avoid washing plates and pots lol. So my wife know this before we got married and she never expected much from me and all thanks we have few domestic staffs that assist. But whenever I am around and in good mood then, I make her room bed lol, maybe dust her mirror stand, etc, but I bath and dress my little boy often (I cherish doing this one a lot)

I am not yet married, and, just at the moment I was having dilemma on whether to do it or not, you talked a lot of sense into me and gave me hope. May God continue to bless you. Amen.

Great advise

Chinny024:
Find someone that is happy and cheerful..Someone that can withstand the pressures of "the worse" in marriage.Avoid bitter people from day one...Give anyone that doesn't smile from the inner heart miles...

Happiness is all that matters...Avoid anyone with elements of wickedness!!!

AmazonTopaz:


I have a boyfriend but sometimes he is the one that link me to men for hookup. I love him he loves me but we but have needs. So I do hookup

Wow