₦airaland Forum

knowhowk:
. how about someone a man who is 50 years and not yet Finnancially stable ,He should still wait till he is 80 years when the hope to even becomes Financially stable is not their ..Abeg Park for one side Jare ..Some men dey pass beyond their Boundary ,once U notice ,a woman demand and taste is higher than ur Pocket quit immediately .Na manage be life

Am telling you.

I'm not a kid too and it's not that easy to find who will show me love the way that girl did initially. For Christ sake, I'm deaf and close and more than 30yrs now. the future is not bright at all hence I decided to take the risk.

thanks

I don't know why Nigerians are always eager to start giving birth after their marriage, irrespective of their financial capability to cater for such a venture. I believe this is stupidity. You guys can get married, and then struggle and work hard first. You can plan the firstborn for about 3-5 years before having the child. That is enough for adequate preparations for the whole family to welcome a new member into the family. After that, you should take a long break. When things improve greatly, you can start planning the second born for another 3-5 years. Not giving birth like rabbits without sustainability plans. Look at the Oyinbos and Asians for eff sake

Guy, na you get problem. You need deliverance

She didn't change, her character just showed.
Some try to change while some only pretend but eventually their true attitude always comes out eventually.
Pray for God's wisdom to deal because it may be difficult to cope in reality but then again since she's pregnant, it may be her hormones be patient till she gives birth.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

Be patient with her until she gives birth. Some women. It could be the symptom of pregnancy. It happens to some women. Some even go insane during pregnancy but as soon as the child is born, they regain their senses. I suggest you see your pastor for prayer and counseling.

Are you an handicap that you can't seek for jobs ni.... If u can't get a salary job then why not venture in to some maniac jobs that pays you on a daily basis. Though she was meant to help you but right now you need to help her ok especially now that she is pregnant... so stand up ane fight ur fight.... we all have our flaws bro.

I'm just here laughing. You want to run away..hmmm

A lot of people rush into marriage without really knowing what marriage is all about. Marriage is a huge responsibility packed with a lot of tasks and financial burdens.

So, when people think it's only about the lovey-dovey thing and sex, I just laugh and look away. It's more than that and your preparedness or failure to plan before going into it will determine the outcome or success of it.

Op, you and your wife were not prepared for this. I mean... How can she be blinded by lust to see that you're not financially stable enough for marriage? Now that the nittigritti is hitting her, she's taking it out on you as if she was forced into the marriage.

You on the other hand did not think that you were not ready and had no plans to start a family but still went ahead and fell for a trap most girls are using to hook men these days. That your wife is a desperado.


They'll tell you, I'll surrender my whole salary to my man, you too will fall mugu. Fine they may do it a few times during courtship/dating but once they gain ground, You're OYO.

All I'm trying to bring out is, as a man, Don't fail to PLAN. PLAN your life and don't rely on what she has cos you'll be dissapointed and frustrated. I'm telling you. Don't let anyone trap you with that trick.

Why do you think Regina married Ned?
Why have the rich actresses refused to pick any guy and marry since they have money and can take up all the responsibilities?

Op, in your next world, you'll plan very well before you jump into marriage.

My money na my money. Your money na our money. A typical african woman's mentality.

Argue with your keypad.

Lol

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.[/b]

WHY ALWAYS NORTH[/b]

INCREDIBLE007:
hmmm this matter require wisdom Bro

I would advice you to solicit for help from your church.

she was the best since slice bread according to you
don't leave her just yet.
talk to friends, family, church & NGO'S to see how they can assist you in one way or another.

she love you just that some negative forces are at work somehow .

be very prayerful as well you never can tell village people fit dey involve.

May the Lord whose name is I AM perfect that which concerns you in Jesus name.
shalom

Thank you.

I'm a devoted NKST member but since I was not able to pay her bride price and invite the church elders, they even cut my name from the church for a period of 2yrs, I can not even sit for holy Communion talkless of them helping me.


Family members are out of my equation cos they seems tired with me and I'm in the village where it is very hard to contact NGOs in such issue. my best bet here is farming which I'm taking it seriously and I believe I will be better by next year.

my problem is not really financial, I just want my wife to understand me

you don't have enough financial means on hand and you are getting married, impregnating even with her family not interested in it.


you don't know the consequences u are facing, if at all her family accepted it proposal, it will be her mother that will be speaking to her now about her disorder

well done o

PCSI:
Please run away and never come back.
You are coming online for advice.
Nkita

Lol

Bro, she is perfectly normal forget whatever these our online friends are saying here. Ask any married couples here they will tell their own experience, okay now see how your wife's pregnancy is causing you too to react to her actions hahahaha it changes the both of you can't you see! But I assure you after child birth you will get your sweet and supportive wife back. Or do you want me tell you of pregnant women who just like smell of their husband's excreta during pregnancy, it varies. Just enjoy the changes it's just for four more months. Good luck

TruthinAction:
Be patient with her until she gives birth. Some women. It could be the symptom of pregnancy. It happens to some women. Some even go insane during pregnancy but as soon as the child is born, they regain their senses. I suggest you see your pastor for prayer and counseling.

noted.

Thank you

Righteousness2:
Calm Down bro..
According to you, she changed after Pregnancy.
Just see it like the things that come with pregnancy. Some ladies could be very unbecoming when they are pregnant.
So stay calm and do the best you can.

Dear brother follow this advice. First pregnancy, sometimes can be turbulent to both the man and the woman. She is still a good woman. Love her as she is, don't run its happens with some pregnancies.
Pray some that God will bless your effort, marriage comes with blessings, Expect them.

udoji2021:
My plan was to farm and get cash to re-open my closed provision shop for her.

Baba...You have a good intention but you shouldn't expect your pregnant wife to engage in farming activities. It's not done. My wife lost her first pregnancy due to physical activities at work.

This is the point you need to take up more responsibilities and shower your wife with as much care as possible.

After her postpartum period, she can be more supportive.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

The worst thing that can happen to a man (outside of insanity) is to start a family in the midst of extreme poverty. Ladies will tell you they can cope but they lack foresight and they just want to lock you down with the hope that things will magically improve.

A man should never ever get married without a job at hand. Never.

udoji2021:
Thank you.

I'm a devoted NKST member but since I was not able to pay her bride price and invite the church elders, they even cut my name from the church for a period of 2yrs, I can not even sit for holy Communion talkless of them helping me.


Family members are out of my equation cos they seems tired with me and I'm in the village where it is very hard to contact NGOs in such issue. my best bet here is farming which I'm taking it seriously and I believe I will be better by next year.

my problem is not really financial, I just want my wife to understand me

u have not pay the bride price talkmore of doing necessary right!

can you be in sin and expecting Grace

You too change nau and show her your true colour like bimiafashion

My brother her behavior is normal with few women when pregnant..

I will advise you to stop paying attention on her recent behavior and don't stop loving her..

You will learn to be more silent to her action and wise at accepting responsibilities that comes with marriage. Children


Don't run away from your house and don't hate her..don't instigate ur sister to hate her

Is funny her family is not in support of ur union..

Las las

U did not state where she came from

If she is from Benue or Kogi... My dear is normal things with them and her family may have reason for not supporting her to marriage at this time

Be patient, love her stand by her

Work hard
.
If you are into farming strive to increase ur seedings and farming..


Also go to buy and selling of agro crops


When she put to bed.. if she is from Benue or Kogi.. don't give her to chance.. get her pregnant as soon as possible.. or ex.. she may be the one to run out from ur home as soon as she put to bed and believe that her body is strong..


Sorry and be patient.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house.

First, the way you guys married wasn't honourable. She came and began living with you!


Second, how could you have agreed to settle down when you both are financially unwell?

On her recent attitude, I believe it's the pregnancy coupled with the current state of things that's causing the problems.


Marriage is not always a I-love-you thing. You both MUST be financially, spiritually, and physically ready for it.

In all things, please bear with her.

Work harder too.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

Oga, you are the problem and not your wife. Pls go and look for something to do to support your farming biz and take care of your family. It's too early to suffer your pregnant wife. Moreover,she's pregnant and needs your support.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

Na u be the wahala..... How u expect pregnant woman to follow u go farm.... Everything U talk is normal for pregnant women... Your mama suppose tell U this

miracleedwards:
Bro, she is perfectly normal forget whatever these our online friends are saying here. Ask any married couples here they will tell their own experience, okay now see how your wife's pregnancy is causing you too to react to her actions hahahaha it changes the both of you can't you see! But I assure you after child birth you will get your sweet and supportive wife back. Or do you want me tell you of pregnant women who just like smell of their husband's excreta during pregnancy, it varies. Just enjoy the changes it's just for four more months. Good luck

That four months is not JUST sir,

thinking of enduring this for the next 2months alone is scary. However, I get your point loud and clear.

thank you

diplomat058:
I don't know why Nigerians are always eager to start giving birth after their marriage, irrespective of their financial capability to cater for such a venture. I believe this is stupidity. You guys can get married, and then struggle and work hard first. You can plan the firstborn for about 3-5 years before having the child. That is enough for adequate preparations for the whole family to welcome a new member into the family. After that, you should take a long break. When things improve greatly, you can start planning the second born for another 3-5 years. Not giving birth like rabbits without sustainability plans. Look at the Oyinbos and Asians for eff sake

Aside from a pervasive and very Nigerian type of selfishness, it's one of the main reasons why the society is so fùcked up....in fact I think they're one and the same.

This is the problem of a boy getting married, marriage is for men. Be a man. You want your pregnant wife to be taking care of you, what happened to your taking care of her. Do something about your finances and stop groaning online. You open your dirty mouth to say you don't have 100naira to marry and a woman still agreed against her parents, now you are saying what again. You're currently worse than a infidel.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

The insults, unacceptable so i am with you on that but everything else, you need to do better as a man.

udoji2021:
I get the point now.

As a lady, what do suggest i should do? Cos no human can be able to endure this kind of situation for good nine months

Find a way to live with it. To have agreed working with you on your Farm is a Plus which an average Nigeria Girl who not dare!

You are very stupid boy man for typing this nonsense.So you expect a pregnant woman to be going to farm with you and you can’t wven afford ordinary 10k for antenatal and you dey Bleep her.Stupid lazy boy!!

She scammed u into marriage

ezugegere:
I think you're the one who wants to kill the poor girl. You don't have idea how pregnancy can mess up some women. Instead of you to be petting her, you're here complaining. Even if you don't have, keep on showing her affection and continue to assure her that things will be better.

Come off it. Mood swings do not equal insanity...why would she hit her husband? So if she was a single mother, would she go on the street looking for who to hit? If he was a violent man would she do that? That woman is abusive.

Hmmnm