udoji2021:


My plan was to farm and get cash to re-open my closed provision shop for her.

You should have done that before marrying her or getting her pregnant.

And to the unmarried... please if either of your parents is against your marriage, there's big fire in the future if not now. Always try and settle with both parents first to receive there blessing before tying the knot

Dear owner of this topic.
Considering how you met your wife, she looks a very responsible and caring one.
However you have not allowed the way of God to be your guide. You need to get close to God Almighty. Having her sleep in your house the very first day is a sinful habit. I wish you both God's forgiveness.
However as things are the pregnancy could be her main problem causing all the erratic behaviors. You have to be patient with her.
Lastly, you need some financial help to support her and buy her good food since pregnancy sometimes makes women crave for special foods. I zm willing to help you a little on this in shaa Allaah.
Please get accross to me privately or let me know how to contact you. , I have advises for you and your wife plus little financial gift in shaa Allaah.
All the best

cocolacec:


Pregnancy affects women in different ways.Try to bring in her younger sister to assist in the house chores.
Some Pregnant women sleep alot due to tiredness.You impregnated, you just have to bear with her.

As for the beating,talk to her you hate it and if she refuses report her to her elders.

I can't bring her sister cos the parents will not allow that

My advice is that you should take advice only from Married persons who are still in relationship...
Don't take advice from single men and women who are intolerant

First have you ever heard that marriage is home of offence?
Hmm
Many couple you see out there smilling are enduring theirselves, what often appears to the eyes is not what is playing when they are alone
But honestly... what reduces friction most is that YOU MUST have a stable minimum income, have friends that you can run to friends that can also enhance your status before your woman that alone gives her security to some extent and allow you some bragging rights

What happened to you My own was worse, I nearly run away from marriage when my wife got pregnant, I can't sleep...she even seize car keys... and I can go out 1:am looking for drugs...
But I tell you that when she finally deliver s Every storm came down....Show her love ....but it's not easy for me that time,.I use to get angry at times and our neighbors noticed but they keep begging me

Our doctor told me that a particular hormones can cause crisis in some women when they are pregnant..

How you behave that time will earn you more respect

If you run away to another woman, how do you also manage her crisis with poverty
Your joy will knew no bounds when she delivers and you see your picture replicated

So, watch out but then if she doesn't change six months after delivery
Please seek assistance

Silent prayers when you're alone goes a long way
Thanks
Wish you a good home back

It's obvious you weren't mentally and financially ready for this marital journey. Why did you rush yourself?

Please be patient with your wife. It is okay for a girl to behave like that during pregnancy.

DaddyRochie1642:
See why people are always advised especially men to be always be Financially stable before entering into Marriage.

See how this man is Weeping and gnashing his teeth because he didn't listen to logical advise... He probably watched too much Nigerian movies where the queen falls in love with the carpenter or welder and the got married and the lived happily ever after .

Oga I hope that you've now realized and seen that Real life and movies are two different things.

And to make matters worse, the woman is pregnant, how do you plan on taking care of the baby, the woman and yourself?

Please note that not all man will be financially stable before getting married. This life is 69.
My views are, the woman saw the man’s financial state before getting married to him.
The woman is chameleon the man isn’t to be blame please!

PCSI:



Please run away and never come back.

You are coming online for advice.

Nkita

Take am easy

Prayer and hard work is important here. Thank your God that at least she’s not too physically sick. What she’s having is hormonal changes. You have to understand her. Be extra patient with her and in your little way show her more affections. Maybe she will change after delivery.

udoji2021:


my problem is not really financial , I just want my wife to understand me

Yes, partly it is. I don't understand why you still haven't understood that. You need money.

femi4:
U no get money but you sabi fvck.

Like the popular saying goes: If you cannot feed three mouths apart from yourself daily, forget about marriage.

You ve not seen anything, let her out to bed first, additional responsibilities loading

And things are now more expensive than ever!

Pinuc:
Farming is good, but I can only advice you to go into petty trading, with that you can make quick profit and be useful to your family. No need crying and wining. Take up the responsibility, life is not fair to anyone. Arise and face life.

You are right, waiting for a year to harvest yams! It doesn't cut it.

It is normal for either or both husband and wife to change after wedding/marriage.
Most people pretend during courtship no matter the years.
A month only in the marriage is more than ten years of courtship.
Also, it is normal for a woman to church during pregnancy. Pregnancy is a foreign body and it affects women differently. Some will behave like baby etc.
However human being is bound to change from time to time due to many faces like environment, experience etc.
The ability to manage one another is most important to keep the home.
If you marry ten ladies they are bound to behave differently.
Nobody is perfect.
We manage ourselves even at work or public transport or Church or any where.
Manage your wife

It's pregnancy hormones working here, body go dey bite her up anyhow, sometimes she will break down and cry her heart out for nothing. Remember, it's also her first time, pamper her and see her adjust and please don't expect a pregnant woman to have the same level of strength she had when she wasn't pregnant.
My advice: be patient, pay more attention to her, work hard more and pray

EEe be like movie

Zabiboy:
@OP,
The root cause of all this is the fact that you don't have money....
Forget all these pregnancy hormonal changes talk, women know it's what they'll go through during pregnancy so if anyone is throwing tantrum during pregnancy, it because she wants to see a reaction from you or want to use the situation to her favor ( to make you do things you wont have done pre-pregnacy which is manipulation in real terms)...
If you were financially good, you wont experience most, if not all of these stuffs here..
So bro, this should be a lesson to you, your unborn child and everyone around you....A guy should ensure BOTH HIM AND HIS WIFE TO BE are financially OK before getting married...
Goodluck bro

[b][/b]
Mumu. They said toddlers full Nairaland I didn't believe, but now I do.

Abeg go home go wash plate. The op need matured minds to advise him.

The op is financially down, that is a given. Major thing he need to do is to work on his finance. There has never, according to op's account, been a record of the said wife's misdemeanor before pregnancy. He even confessed she was supportive both in the farm and the home front.

When my wife was pregnant, she will eat okra soup this morning. If you want to wash the leftover away, she will said no but keep it for her she will eat it later. Believe me you, the okra will be there till second day when it started growing bacteria, that's when she would request for it. She would eat it with satisfaction. Same thing with akamu. And she is somebody who can't eat leftovers in her normal self o.

Things pregnancy does to women, no be here.

OP, that's the right way to be a man, real man. You have to be strong for her. Cook. You were eating before you married her. It's just 9months and you have endured 5 already. Don't die on the way like smoke. Except you want to remain single for ever, such things as your wife does will surface from another woman you will marry.

As a bonus, expect sleepless night when she put to bed as she may be tired out some nights. So you have to be watchman singing lullabies for your cute bundle of joy all-night long, as newborn babies cry a lot in the night and sleep a lot in the day. At times it take the whole night and it doesn't mean the baby is not healthy.

exboyolu:
Dear owner of this topic.
Considering how you met your wife, she looks a very responsible and caring one.
However you have not allowed the way of God to be your guide. You need to get close to God Almighty. Having her sleep in your house the very first day is a sinful habit. I wish you both God's forgiveness.
However as things are the pregnancy could be her main problem causing all the erratic behaviors. You have to be patient with her.
Lastly, you need some financial help to support her and buy her good food since pregnancy sometimes makes women crave for special foods. I zm willing to help you a little on this in shaa Allaah.
Please get accross to me privately or let me know how to contact you. , I have advises for you and your wife plus little financial gift in shaa Allaah.
All the best

Thank you so much for this.

I really appreciate.

How can I contact you, I will mention you on another thread cos I don't want to drop my number here .

thanks again

udoji2021:


Don't be quick to judge Sir, Let me ask you.

Can you fold your hands and recieve beatings from your wife?



Can you allow your wife to send u out the room in the night?


Can you allow your to sleeping while u go to the farm, cook, wash her cloths and all?





I did all this and more for peace to reign.

ok this got me a wife once couldn't sleep when she was pregnant because her husband breadth wanted to make her vomit...

like he slept in the sitting room for weeks until she got better
another man had to start cooking by 10am cause his wife would wake up by 2am to eat
it sounds absurd but trust me that pregnancy

if you could get a relative to help with the cooking oand house chores while you Hussle it would go along way

Poverty na bastard.

�������

You are very funny. Where do you want to go?

She is still that caring and loving woman that you cherished.

It is part of the pregnancy milestone.

There are many more to come. Crying over trivial issues, nagging, emotional eating, and many more.

Every pregnancy with its style.

Bear with her, it will soon end in praise.

udoji2021:
I can't bring her sister cos the parents will not allow that

Bring your junior sister or a relative to help out till she give birth.

Mr Man when she bitcches around physically,just give her a thunderous slapband tell her no one is a monopoly of violence. Anyway before I finished reading the story,I already knew it was the pregnancy pushing her.. everything u saw in her before wasn't an imagination,just let her give birth and "heal" physically like they'll always say. Then you'll be able to make decisions without regret

udoji2021:


That was my plan but the pregnancy is just 5months. Thinking of how to endure it for long is what will actually kill me. She can be violent sometimes and start hitting me. Infact, i think she is possesed by something recently cos her actions are NOT normal

Chairman ,a pregnant woman is always anger and hungry ,cope with it ,learn to ignore her ,she is not a bad woman ,trust me ,they are worst out there ,.....get yourself together ,no woman likes a broke man ,..GOD will bless your union

That is one of the ways women short change themselves. Please do not expect her to change oooo.


If there is no child yet and you feel you can not cope with her new style. Quit. This is necessary so as not to put your unborn children with a devil called woman. I have experienced a woman that mal-treat her own children just because she is not happy with her husband, the father of her children.

For man:

1. his family is important to him except for the irresponsible men

2. he is not wired to stay at home to take care of the children, hence he needs a trusted and reliable wife to do that

3. he need to concentrate and work to provide for the family. But when there is concerns and distraction from the wife, such a man may not make it talkless of being able to take care of the children. Please do not allow anything that will make your children suffer, I beg you please.

What can I say, elders in this department, is this what you guys also experience.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

in my own opinion you caused the hardships on yourself, broke people shouldn't Marry, and didn't anyone tell you that pregnant woman shouldn't do strenuous work? You can't even afford 10k for treatment how would you raise a child, a very expensive venture!

Take her to church for deliverance...

Romanoff:


How?

I am not following the topic anymore.

What are the insults about?

if you return to thread a couple of ladies mucked the man, though I want to call out monikers, it is rather wrong I feel for the pregnant lady not even the husband.
I know this some trimester, pregnancy trauma or syndrome thing that should have been simply schooling the guy.
even the male on the thread did better. just my observation and opinion though.

SEGLIZ:

if you return to thread a couple of ladies mucked the man, though I want to call out monikers, it is rather wrong I feel for the pregnant lady not even the husband.
I know this some trimester, pregnancy trauma or syndrome thing that should have been simply schooling the guy.
even the male on the thread did better. just my observation and opinion though.

Those women have prolly never been pregnant before.

No be everybody wey dey here get sense.

Women can be restless and disturbing during pregnancy.And, you made a mistake by getting married unprepared. Just try and endure, things will get better

Poverty and high bills have affected your marriage. The love is there. Your marriage is lacking finance. And she is disappointed in that.

The only proof she hates you is when she leave your house

OP I think it could be that she is having mood swings which can be caused by pregnancy.
And if that be the case then she will return to normal after giving birth
Then as for your financial status, just keep on working hard and also pray to God for open doors. I won't advice you to abandon her. No

Honestly brother. I don’t know what you expected going into a marriage without money and getting her pregnant almost immediately. If you couldn’t pay 10k now. Imagine feeding her and the baby. I think her reaction is probably related to her pregnancy and the realization that you may not have the capacity to provide for her and her kid.

Keep praying and double your hustle. The honest way out is to look for something to do that will bring in secure income.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

1. U Aren't Dat Financially Bouyant. 2. U Married A Deficeit. 3. She Is Jobless. Bro, What Do U Expect? U Got Married To A.P.C Dat's Why U Are Experiencing Change.

Women tend to do rash things when they r pregnant, hormones or something, just bear with her when she delivers she il calm down just be prepared for d baby n its up keep.