₦airaland Forum

Congratulation

I'm guessing you don't have a child with her? That's one of the things that keep people in toxic marriage

Ninejaywon:
You see that background check or underground surveillance, it is very very important.

You will bounce back from this. But don't u ever make the same mistake again that is if you would even consider remarrying.

Most girls raised by divorced women eeeeeehhhh

DaddyRochie1642:
You're in pains, I feel your pains but am sorry I cant help myself I just have to say it,.

I'm sure when the Love dey Shack you that time, you were like,
"Baby you're the angel of My Life", "Baby you're the Oxygen that I breathe", "Baby I can't do without you", "Baby any day I don't see your Face my day is not complete", "Baby without you in my Life, my Life is not Complete"

You see relationships that comes with this praises.....stay away because the end is very bad

.

Pecoleee345:
No.....she had miscarriage twice
It was two year into marriage I got to know she had an abortion while in school.

She has a weak womb according to test results.

I wonder what kind of test shows or proofs a woman could have weak womb.

If you mentioned cervix incompetence, that will be reasonable, and which any woman could suffer even with no body count.

My point: be objective about your challenges, and don't blame anyone for a medical condition that might not be their fault.

DaddyRochie1642:
You're in pains, I feel your pains but am sorry I cant help myself I just have to say it,.

I'm sure when the Love dey Shack you that time, you were like,
"Baby you're the angel of My Life", "Baby you're the Oxygen that I breathe", "Baby I can't do without you", "Baby any day I don't see your Face my day is not complete", "Baby without you in my Life, my Life is not Complete"

you be mumu, I just have to say it

Wow!!! I'm so scared of getting married right now.

Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

Get sense nah

naijatisumi:
That’s why most of you ladies keeps praying over and over again without a Man. You are already married to a man , it’s your home , it’s your family as such you should do everything to make it work. I love my wife so much and I will marry her over and over again. Na man come die as having the sole right to provide for the home. As a good house wife and a mother you should help your man at all times even if he has contribute. You will certainly receive in tens fold much more than you’ve giving. I pray GOD change your mind to know the beauty of what marriage entails.

Most men don't value women who assist them and I'm not against any woman who wants to toil to assist her man but men should know that its solely their responsibility to provide and stop making it a mandatory thing for the women to provide as well because this is what you modern men are after these days.Any sane woman will know when to assist her man without been told.I jump and pass all these men asking women that silly question of "What are you bringing to the table"

Rozcol:
I pity women who gives men like you a chance in their life and making them miserable all in the name of women bringing something to the table. Women are not providers,you men of this generation should go learn from your forefathers.

Men should learn from forefathers while you champion feminism like your grandmothers

As in eh , my current gf is being raised by her mum. Babe is a definition of humility and we are 3 years into the relationship. I have not seen a single disadvantage of being with her .

greatbrian:
I think there is a stereotype about single mother stuff here.


Truth is if you are crazy, you are crazy. If you are bad you are bad forget single mum ish. Lots of mofos out there who came out from a perfectly good family but are much more bitter and I'll mannered than whatever you say. And for the records, I was raised by a single mum alongside 2 elder sisters and not for once have my sisters exhibit those traits you dare not even raise your voice in my house even with all I think I am mum still slapped me few months ago and just last week my woman sent my mum money and she tagged it for raising him right.


So stop condemning the parent who choose to stay condemn the one who can't take up responsibilities but choose to die or walk away.

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

Most girls raised by single mum are taught to hate men and be fierce.

To never tolerate shit from men.

The Mum transfers the anger of raising her alone to the girl child who grows up seeing every man as the man who abandoned her mother.

But I’m also sure some girls raised by single mums can be homely and sensible.

Don’t just break up with the poor girl if she hasn’t exhibited any bad behavior.

Being raised by single mum shouldn’t be a curse.

greatbrian:
I think there is a stereotype about single mother stuff here.


Truth is if you are crazy, you are crazy. If you are bad you are bad forget single mum ish. Lots of mofos out there who came out from a perfectly good family but are much more bitter and I'll mannered than whatever you say. And for the records, I was raised by a single mum alongside 2 elder sisters and not for once have my sisters exhibit those traits you dare not even raise your voice in my house even with all I think I am mum still slapped me few months ago and just last week my woman sent my mum money and she tagged it for raising him right.


So stop condemning the parent who choose to stay condemn the one who can't take up responsibilities but choose to die or walk away.

how old are you? If you are up to 18yrs and your mother slapped you like you said,then that's what we are talking about.

Pecoleee345:
The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion....

This woman will not leave you, bro. She will do everything within her power to get you back. Even going the blackmail way.

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

May God grant you peace of mind.

Most of our ladies in the society are very broken. They cheat with reckless abandon but can't tolerate even being an innocent flirt.

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

you saw all these signs in the course of your relationship but you completely let her beauty blind you..
Congrats on your divorce

Ninejaywon:
You see that background check or underground surveillance, it is very very important.

You will bounce back from this. But don't u ever make the same mistake again that is if you would even consider remarrying.

When you tell people they will not agree instead they will be deceiving themselves with useless love!

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

Hmmm

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

Firstly are you married ? Cause if you can’t be and come up with this write up. Who is the captain in a Marriage ? Should a good GOD fearing woman even begin to drag who the captain is in the home. Only GOD will help this generation.

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

If you want to end your relationship, do it objectively.

Don't hide behind my babe is from a single mother.

Will you advise your sister to break up with a reasonable

potential suitor that is well to do because he was raised

by a single mum?

Rozcol:
exactly, I don't believe everything he's been typing here,if he weren't a bad man he wouldn't have come across a bad woman as a wife.All he's been typing here are lies

Are you the op's wife? It seems you know details we don't.

greatbrian:
I think there is a stereotype about single mother stuff here.


Truth is if you are crazy, you are crazy. If you are bad you are bad forget single mum ish. Lots of mofos out there who came out from a perfectly good family but are much more bitter and I'll mannered than whatever you say. And for the records, I was raised by a single mum alongside 2 elder sisters and not for once have my sisters exhibit those traits you dare not even raise your voice in my house even with all I think I am mum still slapped me few months ago and just last week my woman sent my mum money and she tagged it for raising him right.


So stop condemning the parent who choose to stay condemn the one who can't take up responsibilities but choose to die or walk away.

There's a big difference between a single mother and a widow, I hope you're not conflating the two.

It is statistically proven that most children raised by single mothers are damaged goods,useless and problematic. They are usually bitter and hateful.


They constitute the great majority in prisons around the world.

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

Story
You don finish yur Bollywood film

Mogadishuu:
The op is now an elder because he just shared an experience of his for we the single guys. Background check isn't just about her WhatsApp or Facebook... Go to her area, ask about her.
In the olden days, that's what our parents did. They made research into the family they intend having a union with

And as a woman/man if you were raised by a single parent endeavor to go for counceling before wedding

they even go as far to know if there is madness in the lineage..
Funny thing we this generation take all these things for granted

"" You never know with Women"" James Hardley Chase.

Pecoleee345:
l
Yea.....i messed up in that aspect..... Especially the background check and way of life.

The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion....

This might not be true. You said she had an abortion right ? So that means it was once. Induced abortion come in different forms: injections, oral, intra vaginal tablets ,evacuation or D&C
What method( s) were used ?
Now if it were tablets and or injections I don't think that shud cause issues going forward.Same cud be said abt evacuation.
However, a D n C cud pose issues and not jst once but rigorous or multiple times.
She might just be suffering from cervical incompetence, which is the inability to carry pregnancy to term. It cud be congenital acquired or no causative factor at all.

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

The woman is never a captain in any household with a man.

Thankfully, the OP has sent her back to her single mother to continue her captaincy.

It's better to have baby mama, I don't see any reason to marry especially from poor family, they don't love, they just want anyone to get them out of poverty. Why not hustle??

Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

Unless two agree together, they cannot work tomorrow

Even though sex before marriage is admonished in Christian homes. I found out that not having sex with your partner before marriage can be a pure scam

greatbrian:
I think there is a stereotype about single mother stuff here.


Truth is if you are crazy, you are crazy. If you are bad you are bad forget single mum ish. Lots of mofos out there who came out from a perfectly good family but are much more bitter and I'll mannered than whatever you say. And for the records, I was raised by a single mum alongside 2 elder sisters and not for once have my sisters exhibit those traits you dare not even raise your voice in my house even with all I think I am mum still slapped me few months ago and just last week my woman sent my mum money and she tagged it for raising him right.


So stop condemning the parent who choose to stay condemn the one who can't take up responsibilities but choose to die or walk away.

This is nice
Well done