₦airaland Forum

Pecoleee345:
Is she exhibiting those characters I mentioned
Not all of them are like that oo.

djon78:
Before I used to berate redpillers but I come to realize they are talking facts

The worst that can happen to a man is married to a woman that you cater for everything but she doesn't appreciate it but rather makes everything miserable for you

pansophist:
Instant divorce.

Women's madness is limited when she knows well that you won't tolerate, and even leave if she continues. Lots of men really do not value their contribution in a marriage, hence a woman is assured that he will stay even if she act like a total b!tch. Nothing, I mean nothing puts a woman in check when she knows well that her man has options and will leave when she starts being mad.

Op, you did well. Your peace of mind is better should be above all things. If she can't carry her own weight (by keeping her emotions in check and just be a good person), then you must not carry it for her. Infact you insult yourself if you do.

LutanFyah:
There's a big difference between a single mother and a widow, I hope you're not conflating the two.

It is statistically proven that most children raised by single mothers are damaged goods,useless and problematic. They are usually bitter and hateful.


They constitute the great majority in prisons around the world.

NoToPile:
Okay let's agree its semantics, solely sounds much more better.
You should say na today YOU dey do am, you can see the responses of your co-men on this thread on just providing.

So you agree that both providing & nurturing responsibilities can/ should be spilt both sides if I am wrong you can correct me.

You would be surprised that there are quite a sizeable amount of homes run by the women only( not to the knowledge of anybody though), a large growing percentage run with both of the spouses effort and then the homes run by the Men alone are actually in the least category You lost it here! . I am talking about this present day naija.

pansophist:
Instant divorce.

Women's madness is limited when she knows well that you won't tolerate, and even leave if she continues. Lots of men really do not value their contribution in a marriage, hence a woman is assured that he will stay even if she act like a total b!tch. Nothing, I mean nothing puts a woman in check when she knows well that her man has options and will leave when she starts being mad.

Op, you did well. Your peace of mind is better should be above all things. If she can't carry her own weight (by keeping her emotions in check and just be a good person), then you must not carry it for her. Infact you insult yourself if you do.

NoToPile:
Okay let's agree its semantics, solely sounds much more better


You should say na today YOU dey do am, you can see the responses of your co-men on this thread on just providing.
Pls, pin me the posts of males here demanding that females be sole providers . What have you been reading or deducing?!
So you agree that both providing and nurturing responsibilities can/ should be spilt both sides if I am wrong you can correct me.

You would be surprised that there are quite a sizeable amount of homes run by the women only( not to the knowledge of anybody though), a large percentage run with both of the spouses effort and then the homes run by the Men alone are actually in the least category . I am talking about this present day naija.

dhoncesar:
Bro. That's how everyone feels. Until the mask is been removed from the face. Youths of now shld watch how they jump into marriage. Allot of things re happening out there. Guys are loosing their mental health because of the kind of person they got married to.
I didn't also do background check. And was tied down with pregnancy before I knew it I signed another contract and had two kids before my eyes opened. I was used big time and I saw my eyes shattered right before me. I'm still at the peak of recovering and I don't even know if I'll ever remarry . I thought of suicide but waved it off when I remembered I have kids . The thought of dating didn't come to me for over 2yrs now talkless of relationship.. be wise guys. Na beg I beg.

JustcallmeFavou:
So sorry about what you went through in your marriage. But what's with the generalization that women raised by single mothers are bad and bitter?

There are men and women who are raised by both parents that are so crazy, irresponsible, and wicked. Whether a man or a woman is raised by a single mother or not. Pray for a partner that is yours, that's what I will always say.

And also, in the dating or courting stage;

1. Check if your partner listens to you when you talk or give them advice.

2. Check if he/she is ready to change or adjust to things or habits about them you don't like, and can you willingly do the same for them as well?

3. Check if they are generous, and supportive towards you no matter how little.

4. Check if there is an iota of the fear of God still left in them.

5. Check if they are promiscuous in nature.

6. Check if they can at least talk to you about like 80% of their personal plans ie if they can't tell you everything yet.

7. Check if when he/she is angry, can you pacify them, or are they revengeful or don't forgive at all.

8. Is he/she so proud or humble, kind, and a nice human?

9. Check if he/she easily apologizes when they wrong you without always trying to play the manipulative card? And can you easily do the same as well when you offend your partner?

10. Check if he/she is mentally, and psychologically mature. Or are they still babies in their early, mid, or late 20's, 30's..... ??

11. Check if he/she is accommodating, and friendly to your friends and family members, or do they have one complaint or another with almost everyone in your life?

12. What are their reactions whenever you extend a kind gesture to your family members or to others? Do they encourage you to do more, or do they frown or complain bitterly?

13. Lastly, go down on your knees and pray to God to reveal the true nature of your partner to you. This way, no matter how he/she wants to pretend to you God sees the unknown, and He will reveal their true nature to you.

I believe, if one can easily get answers to the above, then it's a step to know if he/she is who you want to settle down with or not.

May God help us all, amen!

Ishilove:
[s] Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.[/s]

seanwilliam:
Happy for you Chief ..
Longtime no see

Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

Pecoleee345:
She is in father house.....I don't expect her to spend her money.....her father should continue from where I stopped.

They want right but not equal responsibility...

lordally:
The last girl I dated for 1yrs and 3 months is a first class graduate from Afe Babalola university. She studied petroleum engineering. Her fees used to be 1.3M although in finals her fees was 900K. She was respectful and adores me too I do take her out now I saw a red flag the day she took me out. We were having a discussion and she said once she gets married it's only going to be here and her family with no other person! She wasn't just saying it she was acting it. Such girls would allow their mum to visit but you never allow yours and I won't have non of that. She was also non sacrificial. I was broke then to even buy Airtime to call her Omo to her it was my duty to call and I just had to look for a way she didn't care! I made out time to go for her convocation in university she didn't know I was to come cos I wanted to surprise her! When I showed up she was happy took me to her family house but also said it was unnecessary to come that I shouldn't feel bad if she doesn't come to my own that it was stress. I knew we wouldn't last cos I can't be with someone who can't sacrifice comfort to out smile in my face! And while I was being foolish I had a girl( My current GF ) Who was studying BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION who I felt wasn't a professional course, who was always doing the calling always wanting to hear from me always wanting to make me happy! But I didn't even give her chance it was my dad that sole sense into my Bald head! He said "" they there make pant dey wear you! You have a girl who values and sees the potential in you while you're running after the one wey no even send you"

Omo that was the day I focused on the new girl and we've been together for 4yrs now once I have my one leg in Nigeria and One leg abroad then I go wife her. The thing is my ex was dark in complexion get nice height studied PETROLEUM ENGINEERING get better front and better back wey dey Make me go mental! But my current babe is fair in complexion and is more beautiful but doesn't have the front and back my ex had and she studied BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION I had to choose between peace of mind and Breast and yansh! I went for the Former abeg so I go fit live long.

There are still ladies who are in this so called profession that a wife materials bro! Baba see I swear Irrespective of the profession wether Man or woman A GOOD PERSON IS A GOOD PERSON.

Juoflife1:
OP I do not believe you.
And you advice men not to marry women from single mothers. I think this should go both ways. After all, it's same "single mothers"

Xilsbridalhouse:
pecoleee345

There are 3 sides to a story, yours, hers and the truth.

I have a feeling you are leaving her because of the test result. Perhaps you detested her afterwards and now making her look bad to everyone to justify your actions.

Nancee4love:
May God deliver my brothers from ur type
Ur mindset is disgusting very bad a d crude, you are not matured for marriage and a disaster to any man who gets engaged to u with this kind of mindset
Better Don't marry please before you jeopardize the life of another man's son
What is marriage? Covenant partnership. A Partner is a supporter in their partnership, they may not have equal share but each partner had a share of responsibility to the agreement of partnership. Guyz run from a lady who does not see marriage from the angle and perspective of partnership that lady is not your wife. A woman who truly loves you supports you. My dad went dead broke and it was my mum who helped raised him back to life with no insult but still gave him his maximum respect during the darkest moment of his life, she made home comfortable and marriage easy for him till he bounced back. My father is late but all his properties after he bounced back was willed to my mum and us the children.
Goossh you are a disgrace to us women responsible women. Please go fix yourself before marriage. Guyz shine your eyes please we still have good women or ladies out their. I will never marry a man I can't support. It's not about it's my choice to support him or not it's my responsibility to support him. 2 have become one. You see this kind of mindset this lady has is toxic. As an adult do u know it's your responsibility to take care of yourself, keep waiting for a man to do that. May God not allow my brothers to encounter ur type.
Op pick up urself and move you met and plunged the wrong flower.

RightToReject:
I wager you were one of the wannabe kind and wannabe libertarian people who, prior to now, do see any man, and vice versa, who abhors nonsense and does not pander to the whims and caprices of small-minded women as a violent/angry man - of course, I don't hold brief for hypocritically crass and opportunistic men. Servility is as bad as cruelty, say no to both of them.

The condoning of nonsense under any guise doesn't make one mature and isn't a sign of emotional intelligence. The bigger amount of nonsense one condones, the shorter their lifespan. Always come into equity with clean hands and expect and accept nothing less ethically.

Love wasn't one of the causes of your problem; instead, your erroneous understanding of it and application of it was the problem. So also her background as a product of single parentage wasn't automatically the cause of her flaws as you alleged, but her poor ethical leanings which she's the sole architect of, was, and probably made worse through your indulgence at the inception of your relationship with her.

Tutu82:
I for one am not conversant with how a total * acts but it makes sense to contribute to a discourse without labelling and/or insulting people.Marriage is hard work and not for people who claim to have “options” and words like tolerate make it sound like he is a prize and she is not.partners help carry each other’s weight which is the first thing you learn on the counselling course some eventually cannot work and that is okay .We all were born of women and i believe non are female dogs to be called bitches be respectful to people.

FLYFIRE:
My dear, when people talk they talk as if it will be greener on the other side but wont seek God`s face to please Him from inception. What people sometimes don`t know is that God will use our situation to help us better live for Him. HOW MUCH DO WE SUBMIT TO GOD before getting ANGRY that our spouse or even children don`t submit to us? When situations like this come, let us go to God & say...search me, help me & let us deal with our spouse the way we would like others to deal with our sister, daughter, brother or son. God will help us all

TarOrfeeek:
Whether she exhibit.

Whether she nor exhibit

I no like wahala.

Buhari hardship is enough for one person.

Rozcol:
Please let us hear word and for your information she's right about that number 2,in marriage a man should provide everything and its solely depend on your wife's decision to assist you or not,its not a mandatory task.Women are care givers and not providers, you can't expect a woman to provide and still respect you it usually don't happen that way.She's not here to say her own side so nobody has the right to condemn her yet. No be Nigerian men again mtchewww

Hathor5:
Wait a moment! Do people no longer promise 'till death do us part' when they get married? What's the essence of marriage if you need to remind her that you will leave?

Stupidquestions:
One last point....be careful with women with big yansh....cos most times..the yansh dey geh insurance for outside unknowing to the man.

Roon9:
When it comes to marriage, due deligence can never be over emphasized.

That's how someone I know very well legit married a lady that has had 4 kids.... I swear

pansophist:
Instant divorce.

Women's madness is limited when she knows well that you won't tolerate, and even leave if she continues. Lots of men really do not value their contribution in a marriage, hence a woman is assured that he will stay even if she act like a total b!tch. Nothing, I mean nothing puts a woman in check when she knows well that her man has options and will leave when she starts being mad.

Op, you did well. Your peace of mind is better should be above all things. If she can't carry her own weight (by keeping her emotions in check and just be a good person), then you must not carry it for her. Infact you insult yourself if you do.

crossfire47:
does the bonding guarantee anything? Good observation tho