2ndtimeuncle:


It rains everywhere, I don't want her to make a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.

My brother, it rains everywhere. No marriage is perfect. Once she quits, she has become a second class n there is no certainty tht d next guy if any will be decent. She should stick with d guy.

bros tell ur sister to calm down, even if she leaves her hubby now ,who says she would find a man who wont bring in another wife.


she should get a job, plan her life and manage her marriage. men will always be men.....unless she prefers to be celibate the rest of her life.

MadeMan01:


Men are not complicated. We just need peace of mind, food, sex. When a woman cannot give this, there is a strong probability to cheating

.
Let us educate our wives,there is nothing called cheating.man do more than one women.it is biological.but the guy that signs one man one wife and fail truly deserves hell .

2ndtimeuncle:
Good morning fellow nairalanders, I hope your day is going well though mine didn't start so well. I am a nairalander but I have to open this account for this. I have an issue bothering me, I will try to keep my story as brief as possible.

I am a guy from a humble background. My parents had only two children, myself and my younger sister who is now married with two kids. She had her last baby boy some time early this month. Her marriage with this guy ( my brother inlaw) has been one I considered relatively peaceful. That is from my own perspective knowing that there's no marriage without one or two misunderstanding here or there at some point.

Well, she found out that her husband got another girl pregnant who gave birth to a baby girl. My sister found out after she gave birth to her first son. Her husband was the one that confessed to her that he has another child outside their marriage. They settled the issue and moved on he promised he would end the relationship he had with the baby mama.

Last year, during the Covid19 period, my sister found out that he was still seeing his baby mama after she saw their chats. She confronted him and he denied having anything to do with the baby mama except for sending money for his daughter's upkeep once in a while. It was a big issue which was brought to the attention the two families. They found a way to settle after a lot pleading and talking to the two of them.

To cut the long story short, she sent me screenshots that proves that he is still seeing the baby mama. In one of the screenshot he wants to see her in their normal place and the girl agreed but doesn't want them have sex on this particular occasion. My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around . She is yet to confront her husband because I managed to convince her to keep it on hold till she calms down.

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

advice her to be logical rather than emotional now. Let her balance well and stand on her feet before she can think of leaving.

Lostchild:
2ndtimeuncle

1. People do not listen or take advice, they can only learn from their mistake.

2. Remind your sister that she is in Nigeria and not in america.

3. Tell your sister not to leave her home for now, she should learn to kill her anger in this and use wisdom, and not forget that she has children.

4. If she leave her home, she is likely to suffer and loss the battle.

5. She should stay and focus on her chikdren, and believe she has a half husband already.

Live to fight another day

You guys will be saying it as if it's easier

Do you know the trauma that woman is going through ?

It's something you don't wish on your worst enemy

She should just find ways to improve her earnings first
And then find her levels

This is a warning to women
Make sure you have a good earning capacity before marriage

Because honestly many men nowadays are just mean

GenAbacha:
And what is wrong if she quits the marriage?

Why are you bothered? What ideas are you looking for?

A contract has been breached and it’s only right you terminate it.

Its like u didn't read this part slowpoke ...

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

2ndtimeuncle:
Good morning fellow nairalanders, I hope your day is going well though mine didn't start so well. I am a nairalander but I have to open this account for this. I have an issue bothering me, I will try to keep my story as brief as possible.

I am a guy from a humble background. My parents had only two children, myself and my younger sister who is now married with two kids. She had her last baby boy some time early this month. Her marriage with this guy ( my brother inlaw) has been one I considered relatively peaceful. That is from my own perspective knowing that there's no marriage without one or two misunderstanding here or there at some point.

Well, she found out that her husband got another girl pregnant who gave birth to a baby girl. My sister found out after she gave birth to her first son. Her husband was the one that confessed to her that he has another child outside their marriage. They settled the issue and moved on he promised he would end the relationship he had with the baby mama.

Last year, during the Covid19 period, my sister found out that he was still seeing his baby mama after she saw their chats. She confronted him and he denied having anything to do with the baby mama except for sending money for his daughter's upkeep once in a while. It was a big issue which was brought to the attention the two families. They found a way to settle after a lot pleading and talking to the two of them.

To cut the long story short, she sent me screenshots that proves that he is still seeing the baby mama. In one of the screenshot he wants to see her in their normal place and the girl agreed but doesn't want them have sex on this particular occasion. My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around . She is yet to confront her husband because I managed to convince her to keep it on hold till she calms down.

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

She can't stop the man from seeing his baby mama it's not possible she should just learn how to leave with it or rather she should tell the husband to bring his kids home... She has everything to loose if she leave her husband she might regret it
Men are polygamous in nature it rear to see a men who doesn't run things out side but as long as he takes care of his family and makes it his priority things will take it's tolls...
It will more be unfortunate cuz she might listen to anyone opinion about the issue and will do her own thing but as your only sister I will advice you to stand firm and make sure she doesn't leave he husband she will thank you in future....

JovialJune:
Ladies, make sure you are independent before getting married, have something doing, something that fetches good money to avoid stories that touch like Op's sister, it is sweet to have a say in your marriage than to be a "yes sir" kind of wife, being a 100% house wife doesnt and can never pay, if you want to be a traditional wife abi matriarchal woman, be one with dignity, self worth, and self respect, i don say my own

**With the very foolish, stupid, idiotic advices I see here coming from mostly guys, if I should quote and tell them my peace of mind, I go chop ban, but I'll hold my peace...

That's the same thing I suggested

Any woman getting into marriage must find something serious, productive and tangible doing

To avoid trauma like this story

yuping:
I know you love your sister but right now she is going through a mental and highly emotional situation,if she is not happy with her husband she is going to make irrational decisions that might affect the whole family. imaging yourself going through heart break you cannot move on from.
nobody makes changes to life and not get affected by it.
Let her fall, she is determine and know what's best for her, she will rise.

You are wise.
Me thinks the op is also depending on the inlaw
That's why he doesn't want the union to end.

Your sister should find something doing than being a housewife

cococandy:

What does “the real wife” gain?
Explain to us

At least she still a "Mrs"

Advise her to stop looking into her husband's phone if she want to live long.She shouldn't confront her husband.
You cant stop a man nor a woman from having concubine,the fact that he confess to her means the man still loves her.She should look straight and face her marriage or else she will send herself packing and that woman will take her place and she may end up with depression.

GenAbacha:
And what is wrong if she quits the marriage?

Why are you bothered? What ideas are you looking for?

A contract has been breached and it’s only right you terminate it.

And what is she going to benefit by quiting? I'm just asking.

She's a full housewife with two kids, right?
Firstly, when she moves out, where is she heading to in terms of shelter?

Secondly, will she move out with the kids or leave the kids behind?

Thirdly, how will she cope her finances with or without the kids living with her? Do you think the husband will send enough money for the kids needs? Never!

Fourthly, is she ready for her kids to grow up in a broken marriage and a single parent?

Once again, what will be here gains moving out and leaving her marriage?

Copy 2ndtimeuncle

Allow her quit the marriage then marry the man since you don’t want him to leave your life.

Rodinat:
Advise her to stop looking into her husband's phone if she want to live long.She shouldn't confront her husband.
You cant stop a man nor a woman from having concubine,the fact that he confess to her means the man still loves her.She should look straight and face her marriage or else she will send herself packing and that woman will take her place and she may end up with depression.

But she won't end up with depression with a cheating husband, right? The way some of you reason.

My advice for you is to take the case to God in prayers to intervene rather expecting advice that might not be useful here.
Who knows what your sister too is doing that pushed her husband out to go and misbehaved.
All will be well in Jesus name

2ndtimeuncle:


It rains everywhere, I don't want her to make a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.

Exactly…. She quits d marriage and d baby mama moves in…. And she is not working… she needs to weigh her options. It has happened already and she needs to really calm down and forget about the guy and dat lady. The guy will never stop flogging d baby mama as long as d mama is ready to flog. At this point she needs to think of her future… this is a simple case that doesn’t need emotional trauma.. she will make sure her children are taken care off and when she has a good income and enough money for herself and d children then she can leave d guy. Not leaving now that she has nothing to fall back on. My own advice

UDUJ:
Hmmmmmmmmmm, marriages these days.

I dey fear o! I no go lie you

Are you sure y'all are related?
Cause no sane human coming out of the same womb would even nurse the idea for his sister to remain in such torment

josite:
.
Let us educate our wives,there is nothing called cheating.man do more than one women.it is biological.but the guy that signs one man one wife and fail truly deserves hell .

Explain in biological details, with proven scientific research, the molecule, membrane, cells, the parts of a male human body, that makes them do more than one woman, show us a screenshoted graphical evidence well labeled while at it,

We are waiting.

crackhaus:

I hear.

Afterall, what Nigerian women cannot do does not exist.

Before nkor
The emphasis is on "Nigerian" hope you know....

2ndtimeuncle:
Good morning fellow nairalanders, I hope your day is going well though mine didn't start so well. I am a nairalander but I have to open this account for this. I have an issue bothering me, I will try to keep my story as brief as possible.

I am a guy from a humble background. My parents had only two children, myself and my younger sister who is now married with two kids. She had her last baby boy some time early this month. Her marriage with this guy ( my brother inlaw) has been one I considered relatively peaceful. That is from my own perspective knowing that there's no marriage without one or two misunderstanding here or there at some point.

Well, she found out that her husband got another girl pregnant who gave birth to a baby girl. My sister found out after she gave birth to her first son. Her husband was the one that confessed to her that he has another child outside their marriage. They settled the issue and moved on he promised he would end the relationship he had with the baby mama.

Last year, during the Covid19 period, my sister found out that he was still seeing his baby mama after she saw their chats. She confronted him and he denied having anything to do with the baby mama except for sending money for his daughter's upkeep once in a while. It was a big issue which was brought to the attention the two families. They found a way to settle after a lot pleading and talking to the two of them.

To cut the long story short, she sent me screenshots that proves that he is still seeing the baby mama. In one of the screenshot he wants to see her in their normal place and the girl agreed but doesn't want them have sex on this particular occasion. My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around . She is yet to confront her husband because I managed to convince her to keep it on hold till she calms down.

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

guys guys ,a guy man that consider himself to be a high value man ,a real niggee doesn't go around creating baby Mama's , infact you have down graded yourself ,

if you are financially stable get your sister a job ,that guy isn't worth having a full time woman as a house wife ,real men ,high value men are the ones who deserve a house wife not a guy who creates baby Mama's outside marriage .

2ndtimeuncle:


I honestly don't know how the instance you gave relates to my story. I am pro family, my first instinct is how to preserve my family.

Yoruba people will say, the market child don enter, don turn counterfeit. The baby mama cannot disappear from your brother-in-law's life. As a man, he'll say there won't be anything between them but she won't be there to ensure that handshake doesn't become a hug.

The mistake she made is ever agreeing to be a housewife. No man can pin me down with that housewife nonsense. I have to earn my own money. Now she can't just leave because she and her kids will become a burden on you and your poor mum that's supposed to just sit and enjoy her labour yielding fruits.

Tell her to calm down, even if she would leave, let there be something she is leaving to. I know things will be a bit awkward for you now but just man up and let her see reasons with you. Her husband is a nincompoop no doubt.

josite:
.
Let us educate our wives,there is nothing called cheating.man do more than one women.it is biological.but the guy that signs one man one wife and fail truly deserves hell .

and you consider a man with more than one wife as a high value man ,a man that goes around creating baby's for different ladies as a high value man ,man that guy just down graded himself...you don't go around creating baby Mama's and baby's for different ladies and u call ur self real niggeer bro

Gbam

GenAbacha:
And what is wrong if she quits the marriage?

Why are you bothered? What ideas are you looking for?

A contract has been breached and it’s only right you terminate it.

The man married her. Made vows to stick to her alone till death do them apart.

She gave him 2wonderful children.

He decided to cheat on her with a strange woman and in the process, got her pregnant.

The man has broken the vows he made in the presence of God and man.

Infidelity is the only reason for divorce that is supported by the bible.

There can also be room for forgiveness if the man totally repents of his wrong deeds.

My counsel is this, because children are already involved, a third party needs to be involved now to see how things can be amended. The pastor who joined them and the parents of the man needs to know what is happening and if after their intervention, he still continues, she should quit, for her own peace of mind and health (especially STI).

2ndtimeuncle:
Good morning fellow nairalanders, I hope your day is going well though mine didn't start so well. I am a nairalander but I have to open this account for this. I have an issue bothering me, I will try to keep my story as brief as possible.

I am a guy from a humble background. My parents had only two children, myself and my younger sister who is now married with two kids. She had her last baby boy some time early this month. Her marriage with this guy ( my brother inlaw) has been one I considered relatively peaceful. That is from my own perspective knowing that there's no marriage without one or two misunderstanding here or there at some point.

Well, she found out that her husband got another girl pregnant who gave birth to a baby girl. My sister found out after she gave birth to her first son. Her husband was the one that confessed to her that he has another child outside their marriage. They settled the issue and moved on he promised he would end the relationship he had with the baby mama.

Last year, during the Covid19 period, my sister found out that he was still seeing his baby mama after she saw their chats. She confronted him and he denied having anything to do with the baby mama except for sending money for his daughter's upkeep once in a while. It was a big issue which was brought to the attention the two families. They found a way to settle after a lot pleading and talking to the two of them.

To cut the long story short, she sent me screenshots that proves that he is still seeing the baby mama. In one of the screenshot he wants to see her in their normal place and the girl agreed but doesn't want them have sex on this particular occasion. My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around . She is yet to confront her husband because I managed to convince her to keep it on hold till she calms down.

Note : My Dad is late and my younger sister is a house wife hence solely dependent on her husband. Please ignore my grammatical errors. I am putting this out here because I have ran out of ideas.

This is quite humiliating. God shall wipe her tears. Let her stay in her marriage while being more prayerful and resourceful. Some men are not focused

Who was the man who injured you.

Father?

Boyfriend?

Husband?

Wish I knew you IRL so I could warn men to keep off this damaged woman.

Because despite all your noise (unless you're a lesbian) you still crave to receive gifts from men.

Avviala:
Nigerian men are useless. All of them.
If they don't cheat, they are hypocrites, toxic or women beaters. Even the so called calm ones are egoistic bastards and manipulative d**ks. The op wants his sister to stay in a marriage where she is disrespected daily but would not want to be disrespected as well.
It's women I blame. If right from time, we never accept cheating, men would not think of imposing their disgusting acts on us. Or at least not openly.
Since your sister's husband is only useful because of money, she should bear the marriage till she has enough savings to cater for herself and the children.
And I hope this is a lesson to women that you should never enter a marriage empty handed. Men only usefulness is money. If you remove that power, its easy to see them for the sh*t they are.

2ndtimeuncle:


It rains everywhere, I don't want her to make a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.

It rains everywhere seriously? Is it till he infect your sister with a deadly diesase or she died from heartache you will get it. Jeez, men will always be men condoning evil. I'm sure if your sister was your brother instead and the reverse is the case you won't even need to bring it here

GenAbacha:


It rains everywhere but it was this on this same nairaland that someone said his fiancée began disgusting him after she was raped, a crime which was not her fault.

Let alone someone intentionally breaking trusts and covenants.

Let me ask you a question; if your young wife confesses to you that she’s months pregnant with her side piece’s baby, what would be your reaction?

Those two scenarios are not even close at all.

Op, this issue can best be approach from the point of your sister getting some business to start doing right away. Tell her to think of a good business she loves and would love to do, make a very good proposal and hand over to the husband. She shouldn't fight him but be in her best of best behaviour. She should cry on his neck before even getting the proposal worked out and inform him that she's tired of not bringing anything to the table and doing practically nothing.

It's the truth that where a child connects two people together, nobody can separate them again except they mutually agree to go their separate ways and the more they come together cos of the child, the chances anything can happen between them. That's a fact and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

Divorcing him also is not the solution except she's set to go to the convent. Like you rightly said OP, , ,it rains everywhere even in Afghanistan and Sahara desert.

Two kids ain't easy to train alone with a woman that doesn't have any source of income than the husband.

Let her upgrade herself financially through her husband. If she's not well educated, let her get registered in a school and upgrade her educational standard and at the same time open up a business like supermarket or so .....now is the perfect time for her to have all her demands met without much refusal from the husband. She shouldn't fight him but just warn him that you agree that he made a mistake in the past and he's forgiven but never should he allow such to happen again.

The most that would make her Very angry is this one OP.....She must tell the husband to bring the other woman's child home to her so that she would train them together under her roof as one family.


That's the solution to everything. The husband might stop sleeping with the other woman by doing this.....not a guarantee but possibility.

Bringing the kid home authomatically empowers your sister.


All these I write from my experience....I rest my case...

It rains everywhere