MummyD2020:

Ofcourse, she is leaving the house to protect her mental health when she might not be well quipped to do so. Thats the irony of life. Pressures like these is what makes one decide to marry and then, fall into wrong hands.

She is much better off managing a bit longer in that house than rushing into marriage in a bid to save her "mental health".

A bad marriage is a whole 'nother level of mental devastation that should be avoided even more than the plague.

Its OK to move out at your age but pls have enough financial backing. Also, carry your fiancé along, you need all the support you can get.

Pls don't hate your mum, I guess if she knew better, she wld behave differently towards you. No matter what she's still your mum and you owe her love and prayers.

MummyD2020:


Meaning she was doing it without realising she was hurting u. Hmmmmm. U have a point that leaving is the ultimate solution. I pray the partner doesnt treat her bad becos of it.

He is actually a good person, unfortunately my mum has refused to see beyond his 'government worker' pocket.

lomprico:


what of your dad?

He is late

Limassol:
And you think you are smart with such a comment?

oh yes he is.

AmuEbule:

I think your mum is frustrated about something that you are unable to decode yet. She is taking it out on you because there's no one to pick on. Some parents are unable to even understand how much they damage their kids self esteem and this is really sad, in your case.
My advice for you is to see these insults as a challenge or motivation to be a better person because it will not really stop anytime soon.

I wonder why she doesn't take it out on my younger ones as much as she does on me. I've always had this feeling that I'm her least favorite child.

Heathrow44:
Me 2 im experiencing same,i'm moving out 2 lagos afta my service,a bt idk wat t do wen i get t Lagos though?no startup

So sorry.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Secretly save enough to move out and get the house, then make your announcement of moving out

Please for your sanity leave...this is how people suddenly take their lives

Juliusdaughterf:

Thank you. We are doing a registry marriage before the end of the year

God will see you guys through

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

I'm sorry you're going through these. I feel your pain. For your mental health, you would have to leave but don't do this grudgingly. Do it because you need the space to focus on yourself and your work.

Also, try to forgive your mum. It's actually for your own good. You'll have better peace of mind to forge ahead.

The truth is she is hurting as well. We can't place the reason from your write-up but let's take a wide guess. Do you look like your Dad? What happened between them? Was it due to your pregnancy they got married? You might not have all the answers but know that she's hurting too but doesn't know how to deal with it. So please, forgive her.

You really do not need a shop. Sew from your house. Once you've gotten the house and started your business, join Facebook and WhatsApp trading groups. Advertise your products and you'll get customers.

May the Lord guide you.

Juliusdaughter:

He is actually a good person, unfortunately my mum has refused to see beyond his 'government worker' pocket.

The grass is not greener on the other side but since he is a good person, honestly u do not have an issue. If one can get a good person as a partner in this wicked world, ur problems are slashed in to half. The sky is ur stepping stone. I sincerely wish u well my love. Take the bold step and know that life itself is a risk.

Kobojunkie:
She is much better off managing a bit longer in that house than rushing into marriage in a bid to save her "mental health".

A bad marriage is a whole 'nother level of mental devastation that should be avoided even more than the plague.

You are perfectly correct. But in dire circumstances like this, what do u think is the best thing for her to do? staying there isnt the best for her but moving out, she might succeed and breakthrough. Its good atimes to leave our COMFORT ZONE to breakforth.

Alfamann:
Insult her back.

You no force yourself come into her house. Na she born you.

You need to be madder than her to cure her madness.

Lol. You're mad bro. I swear. I am dead laughing.

Dear I understand your pain perfectly well. If you have the money just move out for the sake of your mental health. That her behavior can cause one to have low self esteem sef.

The greatest achievements l have achieved in life was at those moments that life gives me most difficult times.Pls just turn ur pains to purpose..Focus to be a better person no matter what it takes.

Juliusdaughter:

Thank you. We are doing a registry marriage before the end of the year

It's well. I pray God uplifts you guys make you a loving wife and make your hubby cherish you so that you won't have any cause to run back to her in desperation because of husband wahala. Pls make sure he is mature and won't frustrate you cos he knows you and your mom aren't on good terms.

eTen94:
This is what most parents do to frustrate the efforts of their children, even in my late 30s I still experience same thing, I've not spoken with my mum in a while cos insulting me is all she knows how to do despite the fact that I'm the first son, when things were rosy for me the insult reduced but now it's everyday, and worst I started experiencing same thing from my siblings so now myself and my wife we are the only family I know. I just pray God make a way for us to overcome all of this

This year will not pass you by.

MummyD2020:

You are perfectly correct. But in dire circumstances like this, what do u think is the best thing for her to do? staying there isnt the best for her but moving out, she might succeed and breakthrough. Its good atimes to leave our COMFORT ZONE to breakforth.

She has endured it this long. She can endure it a bit more to save up and get her feet planted before she leaves.

If things don't not go as planned for her on her marital venture, she is more than likely to end up right back with her mum if she does not first establish herself first before finally leaving.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Do it. Make that bold step, you will make it. Your mental health is more important than your familial ties.

No vex,
Mumsy is just seeing her better version.......................in you, just keeping doing you, everything will fall in place soon

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

move out fast, & start ur life

Tried all ? You are in the best place that Jesus’ wonder will work for you for He works wonders through our weakness.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

That was how my dad treated me before he died four years ago..... but i just blocked the insults, its now i get how they both felt when they go out all day to look for money to take care of us then...... Never give up.... Try and add things to your tailoring job, advertise online and maybe take up apprentice...

EvangelistChuks:
Tried all ? You are in the best place that Jesus’ wonder will work for you for He works wonders through our weakness.

Don't lie to her abeg!

Juliusdaughter:

He is late

sorry about that. just channel your frustration to building your customer base and your skill.
you will shine!

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

That's a good move, don't be surprise when you make it in the future , she ll come around to say "that's my daughter". She meant well for you but she's going about it the wrong way. Typical African parents

From personal experience, I will advise you move out even if you have to be homeless. Yes, people will treat you worse than shit but the effect will be different and you'll cope with the trauma.

Your mental health is the key to a fulfilling life.

Kobojunkie:
Please, do not let this cause you to rush into marriage. Instead, try to get yourself stable even before you marry so you are able to be an equal partner in your marriage.

You really need to learn how to use smileys or whatever the phuck these things are called. Just a harmless suggestion.

Mercychen:
You're in your mid 20s? And still staying with your parents? It's obvious why your mom is picking on you unnecessarily. She wants you to leave and I think you should too.

I left exactly around that age, even without any pressure from my parents. So, I wonder what you're still doing there with all the insults.

As for your fiance, what part is he playing in establishing your tailoring biz? Or he too is "slow"?

From your comments, i think it's obvious you're the slow one here! No offense!

I got a job. My MA said she'd break my head for not waiting for what my parents can provide for me. She said she'd arrest the person I'm dating. She said so many things. I don't even like myself again. From childhood.

I'm a. Full grown adult. But you know, moms are like that. Wish you luck.

YoungBlackRico:
You really need to learn how to use smileys or whatever the phuck these things are called. Just a harmless suggestion.