Brunosamel:
You have lost your frame bro you seriously need to start building it back and don't talk about finance with your woman never let a woman know your net worth and stop pleasing her.... I wish you the best

Thanks so much, i have been thinking of this.

AsianTotal:


Yes, Ned Nwoko has three wives aNd maybe he will still have more. But he is HEALTHIER THAN YOU, HE IS HAPPIER THAN YOU AND HE IS IN CHARGE OF HIS HOME.

Do you live with him and his wife?

All marriages are happy outside except the truth be told.

Dont be deceived bro......If you see my marrige on a norms you will never ever suspect their are internal issues.

ademidedavid:


Sleeping outside might be another disaster.

Althesame, thanks so much for the piece of advice.

You may think so, but a little separation will do you some good, you don't have to go to an hotel, you can stay with a single friend, but that is just silly, why can't you stay in an hotel, if after 10 years she can't trust you, your guess is as good as mine.

You have been living with her for the past 10yrs now, you are in the best position to know her better than me. I have not seen your woman once not to talk of knowing the kind of personality she has..
ogbeni, you are in the best position to know if she meant those words or not.
mind you, some over sabi nairalanders will be giving different kinds of advice, pls use your head and filter their advice because most of them have not marry not to talk of knowing what marriage real means.
ire ooo.

faithugo64:

You are good man
Apart from being difficult a times (everyone has a difficult side) has she given you peace throughout the 10 years you have spent with her?
If yes, reconcile with her
That is what it means to be the HEAD, keeping your home in one piece!

Alot of persons encouraging you to go Hard on her are not even married (thanks to anonymity of the forum)
Imagine taking the advice of someone who is is yet to experience what marriage feels like.
Be careful of the advice you heed.

Thanks so much for this piece, the more reason i am trying to scrutinize every advices but going harder on her is surely not a way out.

Thanks a million

sola12:
U are lucky boss... She is still crazily in luv with u. She is only trying to protect n preserve her territory. Draw her close n give her better piping. Moreso women could be funny at times wen they are angry. Learn to forgive and forget!!!

Not when they are angry but when they are stressed. Let him check his wife, something is seriously eating his wife. He should call his wife and have a discussion with her to know her pains and her fears. Ask her what she dislike most about you. Marriage is not easy , it needs constant communication.

MNDY:


That is exactly the problem you have caused.
Pamper her and be hot with her when it is necessary too.

Hmmmm, she still tells me that i am the only that can handle her and put her in her place.

The reason i know its not about being weak, but she just want to cause commotion once in a while

Akuruoulo:

THIS IS THE THINGS U ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, AND LET HER KNOW IT SHOULDN'T REPEAT.

My gratitude

Akuruoulo:

In ur own home she decides who come and go while u are listening to people who made her look like semi Angel

Walai, orelse the roof of the building will come down that day and i hate creating scene in my compound

chrizzyace:


I feel your pain bro, for me I don’t think she hates or regrets marrying you... She definitely loves you bro... don’t take those words to heart, also I think you both need to communicate more even if it’s a topic that would trigger a nerve... do it all with love and compassion. It would help cement those loopholes that’s causing all the misunderstandings... there’s no home that doesn’t go through all this. Handle it with love my brother everything will be alright...
Goodluck

Thanks so much my brother, i so much appreciate this piece...

God be with you and yours

Avoid this comment, this comment is coming from a single guy, or a married man, that comes to media to talk rubbish, but in his house, he worships and adorn his wife and family,
.do not be surprise, this mumu ,wash plates, clean house, and even wash madam panties and also borrow loan to please his woman,
But coming here to talk rubbish,
Avoid them they are many on Nairaland , teenagers and guys that have been damaged .

Akuruoulo:


WOMEN HAVE FINALLY MADE SIMPS BELIEVE THEY ARE THE ONES WHO DESERVES BEEN MALTREAT.
I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND howTANDING UR GROUND TO RIDE UR HOME TO THE RIGHT DIRECTIONS MEANS MALTREAT TO HIM ...
To prove how cruel and DECEITFUL women can be, they are all SUPPORTING the man not to make a move to stop the doom that is about befalling him but they would want the man's head if reverse is the case .

Have u ever heard " a real man doesn't hit a woman " ?
It simply means a real man should simp, take abuses from a real woman only to become a real man .
No one takes women abuse on men as an issue only because they want men to believe they are mere servant to his queen wife .

OP SUFFER THE WAY U LIKE BIKO.
ITS YOUR HOME AFTER ALL , AND U CAN CHOOSE TO SWITCH ROLES EVEN WITH UR KIDS

Their is always a light to every darkness.

Thanks alot

Akuruoulo:


U DON'T WANT A MAN TO MALTREAT YOUR SISTER ; RIGHT ?
BUT DO YOU WANT UR SISTER TO MALTREAT ANOTHER PERSONS BROTHER ?
YOU ARE THE BOSS, AND U SHOULD KEEP UR SISTER OUT OF THIS BECAUSE IF SHE MALTREAT ANOTHER MAN THE SAME WAY YOUR WIFE IS MSLTREATING THEN I GUESS HE HAVE TO TAKE ACTION.
YOU HAVE TO BUILD YOU HOME THE WAY U WANT IT TO BE , AND NOT BELIEVING THAT'S A MERE WORD FROM HER.
SHE SAID ALL THAT FOR NO REASON, JUST GUESS WHAT WILL HIT YOU FINALLY WHEN HAVE A REASON TO BELITTLE YOU.
LISTEN TO WOMEN ADVICE AT UR PARIL BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER GO AGAINST THEIR GENDER .
THAT'S YOUR HOME AND U MUST TO TALK TO HER ABOUT HER STATEMENT BECAUSE IT MIGHT NOT BE MERE AS U WOULD BELIEVE.

Hmmmm, many thanks brother.

Will work towards it.

Olayetan:



Brother

You could tell it's out of anger but she didn't caution herself well to know some words carries heavy gravity.

Pls I understand how you feel but don't let the words get into your head, cux if you do, just know your home is about to crash n think of your children mental health.

I know your mental health is also at stake but you can handle that better than the young kids...

You have said well and the reality.

I will do so.
Thanks alot

Nephilim:
She doesn't mean it! Ejoor! Women can be like that.

But na wa for this gender called women oooo

Gkemz:


You're living in hell under your roof. If she said those words, call for the attention of the elders she yeilds to their counsel. Also invite your priest. Express your dissatisfaction to them. If it means using divorce threat use it to make them understand how serious you are.

Divorce ke? She said shes not scared and ready to be a single mother

Xilsbridalhouse:

And you are not married ? You are dishing out home breaking advice to a man 10years ahead of you in marriage ?

He's a fool, don't mind him. I hope Op doesn't take advice from fools.

When they are talking about marriage, hind your frustrated face, it is not on every post , you post your frustrations,
it is not on every post you should come out and disgrace your mother for not training you, stop disgracing your mother just because you want to talk, it is not on every post ,you let people know that you came from a home that your father is useless and maltreats your mother,
We have responsible and well brought up nairalands members here , brought up by Good mothers and father's here, please allow them comment on marriage and relationship isuues

You can go to slum areas, where your type of family discuss, and add your own advice.

Every marriage has ups and downs,
Both parties moat exchange words,
as long as no Domestic violence , just mamnge your home, but if there is Domestic Violence , run run run....







uote author=ademidedavid post=106054163]

Divorce ke? She said shes not scared and ready to be a single mother[/quote]

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

She doesn't mean it but you can tell her the same too for fairness and eveness so she she'd know how it feels like

Kandeed:
This is hitting you hard because you've been too weak....take it or leave it being to weak on women is a suicide mission.

Read some folks up there saying go to her, pet her bla bla. unfortunately for you OP that's not the language a woman understands. if she said all that, the next thing you should do is not go to her or ask why (you'd only ensure something worse than that is said to you again) let her come herself begging .

Tbh I still don't understand how men find it hard to put women in their place and act manly like true House Heads.

You don't get,I was pissed and amused to read that nonsense up there,the best logical way to show you what hate means is to show you the exit door,she dey even ask wetin happen to my own hard earn 1k,of course,I bought 4 packs of CDs and there is nothing you can do about it.
If you want to prove you are difficult,then I'm more difficult.

dhiqson:



As usual
Very warped way of thinking
"May redpilled never yen yen"
No worry I no dey shalaye
But see as u skillful evaded the woman just being anyhow
And as long as the man takes the hit.. he's in love shey?
God help us we upcoming ones

I keep saying it sha
Aside religion, I see no need for marriage in this times

Then don’t marry. It is not like anyone would notice. Ahnahn!

mrblessed:
Why would your wife police you over a mere one thousand naira that did not come from her directly? The picture you painted, from not wanting to take her out, to accusations of being drunk and flirting with your eyes, shows a man who has been thoroughly emasculated, and whom his wife does not have a scintilla of respect for.

The fact that she resumed her toxic behaviour at home is a clear pointer that you have endured rather enjoyed the ten-year marriage. To me, her enunciation of hatred to your person is not a Freudian slip; it's actually what forms her sheer disregard for. It's now too late for you to write this wrong without causing a fundamental injury to your marriage.

Smart Soul

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

It's out of anger. Sit her down and talk. Communication solve a lot of problem

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

Bros, you have no problem ooo... You need to switch you love language to words of affirmation. It has to be a deliberate thing, not an afterthought.

Start telling your wife how beautiful she looks and incomparable to any woman out there. Compliment every appearance, every look, every purchase, engage her with programs too. Buy gifts too, hang out more with her. Travel if possible within and outside Nigeria. But talk more about her and how much you still love and how great she looks.

She's feeling old and thinking in her mind you don't fancy her that much anymore apart from being your kids mother. Women as they age begin to feel less appreciated and threatened, their body means a lot to them, they see younger ladies and other women as a threat because you are an endangered species and the considerations in you is so great. You can see from her actions she's consciously trying to protect you because in her imagination she's at war with other women. She is only overreacting to her fears. Tell her she has nothing to fear, let your sane friends subtly tell her how lucky she is to have you.

God will give you wisdom ooo.

You are a very intelligent person.

Rubbiish:

Are u this biased? Jeez!
And women are cool with their husband flirting around & they don't complain about it right?? Didn't u read where he stated his wife complained he was looking at ladies lustfully??



If his wife can start accusing him wrongly of lustful acts, then op should be the one to keep cool receiving undeserved insults simply because he is a gentle guy? Learn to apply fairness in your views, it will make u a better person.

Simps are Simps. Simple!!!

ademidedavid:


You made me smile after she said those words..........

thanks for this.........but i know it cant work until we both have a one to one talk.

.I have read through few of your replies, and all I can say is that you are a good husband. Do not mind the silly advice from some children on this platform. Or better still, learn never to take your marital issues to any third party. Odikwa very risky. Your wife maybe overreacting, but those words she spilled mean nothing. Again, learn never to bring your marital issues to nairaland,Facebook or even to your friend or any other person, it's very risky. Forgive her and move on,she truly love's you.And that's the reason for the jealousy,just that she's being over protective.Wish you the best in your marriage.

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

She was simply emotional.

Emotions come and go, never constant.

Women are like that.

Note:
You are not alone in that experience.
Others have experienced worse abusive words and psychological attacks

You have started a process that can rewrite the script playing in your marriage. You know the life you desire, key to it and bring it to past.

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

Guy, if you are married for 10yrs and u still don't understand women, then there is something wrong wt u.
Once you are married, cut off all unnecessary relationships/friends. Your family should be mostly your friends.
Same should apply to ur wife also. Keep only friends that is truly beneficial to u and your family.

Women love to brag to their friends with their husbands. Don't do anything that will make that bragging difficult for her.
If you must look at other women lustfully, don't do it when she is there.
Don't get drunk before your wife.
These two things get her pissed off. She felt embarrassed.

I also noticed that your wife loves you too much. When women love too much, they easily get angry wen u do those things they may not find themselves doing easily. They get mad at little thing but the anger may not last. Some can use hurtful words. That is their only way to revenge. They will just want u to feel same way u made them feel. Deep inside them, they never meant the words they said.
Bros, why should u get into hot argument wt your wife of 10yrs probably in the presence of ur kids? You even have to go to the room where she was nagging peacefully. Why do u have to go there to tell her to let u be. No be trouble u dey look for?
You even had to bang the door against her. This is unmanly. When women nag, don't join them. If u do, it means you want the nag to get longer and wt more hurtful words.
After 10yrs, you should've know hw to handle an irate woman.

I don't understand this well:

she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive

Your money was missing.
She was angry
You went to explain to her why your money short 1k. I don't get it.

Or you noticed that your money was shorting 1k and you got angry that she may have taken it and this sparked off trouble.

Well, if the later is the case, you may be a stingy husband or ur wife is a very bad woman that does not deserve your money.
Let me tell you. Every woman takes her husband's money. Sometimes, keep your wallet carelessly so that you wife can take some money wtot ur consent. It makes them happy.
So long as the woman is not extravagant, allow her to take some money and pretend that you don't know.
That money she takes, will surely come back to u.
Fighting your wife of 10yrs in marriage is petty.

Finally, if you are really taking those words- (I hate you and regret marrying you) -seriously, then you need to grow up. Those words means that she loves u so much.
Oga, go and love ur wife. She has her fault as well as you have urs.
Stop holding on to petty things in ur marriage. U don pass this level.
Unless if there is another woman out there beating the drum for u.

ademidedavid:


Walai, orelse the roof of the building will come down that day and i hate creating scene in my compound

Bro it's very good u save ur home from any form of scene, and I bet u don't have intimate female friends would want to visit your home.

As a Married man it's only ur female relatives who should visit you, and if she is not ok with them visiting, then she has a big problem.

BRO U ARE THE BOSS , AND DON'T FORGET IT.
WOMEN CAN NEVER GO AGAINST THEIR GENDER NOR MATTER WHAT SHE DID , AND THAT TELL ALOT ABOUT HOW THEY WANT TO INSTALL THEIR SUPERIOR FEMINISTS AGENDA WEDA BY KNOWN OR UNKNOWN