₦airaland Forum

My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

Hmmmm this is serious... Very very serious matter

1. Your husband should be in the best position to take a stand here... He's the head here and should have a solid stance on his property (regardless these are his parents)

2. If your parents are going to stay for just few months or years, then there should be an agreement or MOU of some sort... Except his parents are stubborn and are out to put asunder to what God has joined together

3. Tell your husband to get to the root of the matter as the head of the house... To know what and why they have insisted it must be that house they want to stay, there must be a reason, let him do his findings

4. If you believe in prayers and can pray, pls do so that God will give u wisdom to tackle this situation in the right way

5. I wish u all the best

Are you planning on relocating soon to Nigeria??

Pls, let ur husband settle the matter himself....... Just let him understand that once his parent move into the house, the house is gone forever, he'll know how to handle the rest.

No shook mouth for the matter in the presence of ur husband's parent o.

U need to take a gentle step...let ur husband handle this or else u will be blamed for everything..

Hmm God knows I can't live under the same roof with in-laws,they will be finding fault in all you do,something your husband will overlook your in-laws won't. I don't think I can ever get Hot living under the same roof with in-laws,no freedom to play anyhow with your husband. Just leave the house for them and rent till you are capable of erecting another. I would show them so much love but not under the same roof

Hmmmm, na gbege be dat for d man ooo, I'm no fit pursue I'm parents ooo.
But seriously let your husband handle the matter, he most definitely knows what's going on

Leave this issue for your hubby to settle.

We dey cum...

These aren't self respecting parents.

That means they basically STOLE the money you guys gave them to rent a house.

What does your husband want to do about this?

It may be difficult to remove them without you and hubby fully moving into the house.

It is not right for your husband's parents to take such decision. Most likely, they believe their son will not be able to do anything about it since you guys are abroad.

Ejecting them forcefully will cause issues within the family. Everyone will believe you're the direct cause.

If your husband is willing to stand his ground (hopefully he's not the only son or the first son. If he is, forget about it), then he might be able to prevail. If they have elder ones in the family that your husband can reach out to, fine. Though I'm sure those ones too will not see anything wrong.

If you can, and you hopefully might move to join your husband soon, forget about the house and start looking for ways to build another. God will provide.

And next time, restrict such information from family. Better to discuss with a friend who is doing well already and is not greedy to help in such matters.

I'm sure I saw a similar thread by your husband today.
Please, do not get involved in the matter, even though you may want to protect your children's inheritance.
Let him handle his parents however he sees fit.
It's a very dicey situation.
But hope they didn't take over the master bedroom sha, but I suspect they have considering how brazen they behaved.
Nigeria isn't really the safest place to visit at the minute, so I wouldn't even advice him to go see what's going on there at the minute.
He may report them to their relatives and his siblings sha, so that it will be on record that the house is for their son and nobody will fight over the house should they pass on when it's time.

.

@Op;

Is this not your husband who also brought this matter to NL BELOW?

Let me turn the story around; if it was your parents who moved into the house you and your husband were building would you be fighting this hard to get them out?

https://www.nairaland.com/6784538/parents-move-ongoing-new-house

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

TheeDetective:
@Op;

Is this not your husband who also brought this matter to NL BELOW?

Let me turn the story around; if it was your parents who moved into the house you and your husband were building would you be fighting this hard to get them out?

https://www.nairaland.com/6784538/parents-move-ongoing-new-house

My parent are content and will never make such insensitive decision. If they do, I will personally eject them from the property; as they have no right to move into a property built by myself and my husband without our consent. “Like seriously, who does that”
If they truly love and respect our marriage they won’t do such; as things like this could break home. If I single handedly build a house then it will be a different ballgame.

Longsleeve:
Are you planning on relocating soon to Nigeria??

I am not relocating, but we often visit

So you are referring to your MIL and FIL as being insensitive right?

ok lets see if your husband will be happy to hear that you his wife is referring to his parents as being insensitive.

I will be tranferring this your comment to his own thread for him to see how his wife is referring to his parents.

Solatpumpkim:
My parent are content and will never make such insensitive decision.

TheeDetective:
@Op;

Is this not your husband who also brought this matter to NL BELOW?

Let me turn the story around; if it was your parents who moved into the house you and your husband were building would you be fighting this hard to get them out?

https://www.nairaland.com/6784538/parents-move-ongoing-new-house

You know deep within yourself that the woman's parents will never try such even though their son in law is also like a son to them.

TheeDetective:
So you are referring to your MIL and FIL as being insensitive right?

ok lets see if your husband will be happy to hear that you his wife is referring to his parents as being insensitive.

I will be tranferring this your comment to his own thread for him to see how his wife is referring to his parents.

Their actions were very insensitive especially since they didn't discuss with the couple before moving in. Their son didn't want them to move in either.
It's not an insult, but they didn't consider the feelings of their children before doing what they did, which is insensitive. It is what it is

Let's see what her husband has to say shall we. I have brought it to his attention.

eyinjuege:
You know deep within yourself that the woman's parents will never try such even though their son in law is also like a son to them.


Their actions were very insensitive especially since they didn't discuss with the couple before moving in. Their son didn't want them to move in either.
It's not an insult, but they didn't consider the feelings of their children before doing what they did, which is insensitive. It is what it is

@bold; easier said than done; words taken with a pinch of salt.

Solatpumpkim:
My parent are content and will never make such insensitive decision. If they do, I will personally eject them from the property; as they have no right to move into a property built by myself and my husband without our consent. “Like seriously, who does that”
If they truly love and respect our marriage they won’t do such; as things like this could break home. If I single handedly build a house then it will be a different ballgame.

.

I repeat; let's see what her husband has to say.

InTheCloudySky:
So? Their actions were indeed insensitive. They didn't consider how their actions would make her feel, hence there's nothing wrong with calling it for what it is. Allow her to express her feelings instead of policing her words and trying to make her feel guilty when she hasn't done anything wrong.

Is there any reason you and oga can't rent a place for them.
It's completely absurd they are moving into an uncompleted house yet they have a son in the UK who is building a house in Nigeria.

Anyway, let them stay for a short while while you arrange a rented apartment for them.

TheeDetective:
I repeat; let's see what her husband has to say.

Trying to create unnecessary discord between them isn't cool. Go away, pls.

I thank God for my parents sha... Inlaw from a pit of hell

TheeDetective:
I repeat; let's see what her husband has to say.

Oh just shut the entire fvck up.

AroOkigbo:
Is there any reason you and oga can't rent a place for them. .

read the thread

Do you plan relocating to nigeria soon?
If no, let them live there, its a blessing, you can provide shelter for your family, what is the need leaving it vacant and renting elsewhere when you might not visit nigeria in the next 3 years?

And it can even be burgled without presence.
Let old man and his wife enjoy peace and free from landlord wahala.

It sounds stupid ejecting your parents from your property.

This was exactly my dads story, his parents took over his first property.

Peace.

This is a big reason why many African women are hesitant to join funds with their husbands and do the 50/50 thing. I personally don’t mind it. But I understand those who refuse to do it.

In a situation where your labor and contribution is automatically credited to your husband and you almost have to beg for respect and consideration in a place that you contributed equally to build, it causes reluctance. If they respected her as a co-owner of that house, they would have asked her input before moving in.

Some women if they don’t build their place separately in their own name (sometimes without the knowledge of their husbands and of course I don’t encourage hiding things ) will usually have no place that they can actually claim and treat like theirs. It’s always the man’s house. Even when your money is part of it.

Guys you people need to do better.

1)Maybe your dad could afford multiple properties, don’t assume the OP and her husband can.

2)there’s nothing wrong with one’s parents living in their house. I believe It’s the way they went about it that’s annoying the couple.

3) also everyone is a little different. For them to offer to rent a place for the parents probably means they don’t want anyone living there. Maybe for personal reasons.

4) property in Nigeria can get dicey and I understand why people get hyper vigilant about it.
From parents living there, one sibling can join them in a few months and before you know it, years down the line , it becomes a contested property. Especially since they are not home based.

Emmanuel909090:
Do you plan relocating to nigeria soon?
If no, let them live there, its a blessing, you can provide shelter for your family, what is the need leaving it vacant and renting elsewhere when you might not visit nigeria in the next 3 years?

And it can even be burgled without presence.
Let old man and his wife enjoy peace and free from landlord wahala.

It sounds stupid ejecting your parents from your property.

This was exactly my dads story, his parents took over his first property.

Peace.

Solatpumpkim:
My husband has an uncomplicated house before we got married. After we got married he moved to the UK and we continue building the house while his Dad goes there to supervise.
One day his parent said their landlord ask them to move out of their rented apartment and they will like to move to our house.
My husband told them they can’t as they house is still under construction and we are building it for our own personal use. He even went ahead to let them know that the money used to built the house is not just his but both his and his wife’s money, so they can not move there.
We gave them money to rent another apartment.
We kept asking when they will move, but they said they will and keep procrastinating the moving date.
We got a call from them today saying that they have moved to our house.
What do I do in this situation?

Let’s finish advising your husband first.

https://www.nairaland.com/6784538/parents-move-ongoing-new-house#106415419