₦airaland Forum

koyyes:
That your situationship is doomed...mark my words. Better set her free to meet someone better.

Godada:
Like you rightly said: truth does not matter, perception is the reality.

As a person that have been in this institution called marriage for over 15years, here is my candid advice....

Value character above beauty. Beauty fades.
Character doesn't.

Any man that wishes to go far needs a stable home, and most times, it's the woman that guarantees this.

The Good Book says,
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop [on the flat roof, exposed to the weather]
Than in a house shared with a quarrelsome (contentious) woman.


You should review your expectations on the subject matter that concerns the beauty of your lady.

The thing is this.....If she meets up to 70% of what you want, you have struck gold.

Let me reveal a little secret. You train yourself to love someone. It's an action. It's something you do every day and voila...you are in love

While you are at it.....build on your communication. Nothing beats communication in building a home.

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

aminusodiq:
[s]lol... Deed is done... Puting a ring on it soon... . Shes extremely beautiful now... Just thesame way i met her 4years ago go get a life brother[/s]

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

CsRockefeller:
I'm in a similar situation. It's tough because she's tall, smart and also a virgin. Not that she isn't beautiful, but she isn't too fair, and she's not from my Geo political zone.

Right now, I'm trying not to be too committed, just place myself in the middle so that I might fall in or out if the need arise.

Its a tough one because at a point, I really wanted her. But now that marriage is in the picture, I'm beginning to have my doubts.

enemyofprogress:
the reason I broke up with bola146

Pierocash:
You never loved her person. You are been driven by lust for beauty that is why her looks is what determines your feelings for her.


You are emotionally unstable,and I am afraid for her,you will be a very big problem for her after marriage.

Teerach:
Na wa o. Lol. Your own is "Not too fair and Geopolitical zone wahala?"
Abeg carry mud and begin mould your own.

MaXiK:
Lol.
Like one scholar rightly opined truth does not matter, perception is the reality, that's the way you perceived the whole matter.

MaXiK:
My brother, issues of this gravity is more than you are seeing it, it's better for me to seek advice now and get it right than....

MaXiK:
Your opinion is very appreciated, I will look into some iotas of sad truth in your submission.

Thank you for giving me some of your time.

MaXiK:
Much thanks for you and to all Nairalanders that have rendered their piece of advice. May God bless you and yours. I have chosen values over mere look and I will fervently seek God's will towards the relationship as you've advised.

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

Pierocash:
You never loved her person. You are been driven by lust for beauty that is why her looks is what determines your feelings for her.


You are emotionally unstable,and I am afraid for her,you will be a very big problem for her after marriage.

BRATISLAVA:
How old is she?

Why are you so concerned by color? Sounds racist.

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

CsRockefeller:
She's the sweetest lady I've ever met. She's 24, but I've always wanted a very fair lady. I'm scared I might cheat, and I don't want that in my marriage.

MaXiK:
Thank you for this very candid advice, may God bless you. I had the intention of marrying a light skinned lady but you know sometimes life can be funny, there'll come a time that we will have even our deepest and most cherished goals and plans adjusted because we humans only make our plans but God....

I'm about to adjust to that new reality now and that's why I'm seeking advice from intelligent and experienced nairalanders if it's something I can truly outgrow. I also want to know how important look is in a marriage and what really matter in a marriage if beauty will not really count in the marriage in long run.

Once again thank you

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

BRATISLAVA:
Something as petty as skin will make you leave the so called sweetest lady you've ever met?

You can cheat because of color? What is so special about light skin that you are ready to give up on true happiness to pursue it?

You're bound to cheat always.

CsRockefeller:
I'm in a similar situation. It's tough because she's tall, smart and also a virgin. Not that she isn't beautiful, but she isn't too fair, and she's not from my Geo political zone.

Right now, I'm trying not to be too committed, just place myself in the middle so that I might fall in or out if the need arise.

Its a tough one because at a point, I really wanted her. But now that marriage is in the picture, I'm beginning to have my doubts.

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!


"The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to...."

CsRockefeller:
Delusion brother. I'm fighting the thoughts in my head cos I know many light skin ladies who aren't virtuous. It's just one of those childish fantasies that don't want to leave my head. The eyes are really greedy and ungrateful.