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Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table - Family (8) - Nairaland

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My 85-Year-Old Dad Is Cheating On My Mom / Don’t Kill Your Husband. This Is How To Deal With Him If He Is Cheating On You / My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by BluntCrazeMan: 11:29pm On Oct 18, 2021
Kobojunkie:
lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

shocked shocked sad sad sad sad shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked sad sad sad shocked shocked sad
Traditions Dey,, and Traditions Dey Too..
If you seek, you will find..
Some of the traditions that you think that are no more in existence might still be there, it's just that foreign religions have infiltrated our practice systems, and thus, the traditions are now becoming modernised by themselves.
..
Masquerades, for instance, are now made from clothes.. Man-made clothes..
But masquerades are supposed to be spirits who borrowed physical items from the elements of nature in order to have physical forms that can be visible.
Such items include leaves, stones, and sometimes clouds of vapour and/or smoke

1 Like

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by descarado: 11:29pm On Oct 18, 2021
Kobojunkie:
How can I access them please? undecided
Go to your village. That's the only way you can get access to them.
I happened to sit on one excruciating deliberation between our kinsmen and maiden chapter. Enough stuffs written down as I was the then sec.
It took more yrs before it was added to the main constitution. Even though its not yet added, it can be acted upon as it has been deliberated on and the relevant groups said aye.
I think they do constitutional review every few yrs, write down what popular opinion is, some yrs later, they publish new constitution. It's real democracy.

If a maiden is reported for violating any law, the law and its penalty will be read out before her.
I don't know how it's done in other places.

1 Like

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by pembisco(m): 11:29pm On Oct 18, 2021
ityP:



You're getting it wrong. Polygamy is permitted and not enforced. Two different things
Na today I confirm say there are so many daft people here. Smh

2 Likes

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Joyceaile(f): 11:30pm On Oct 18, 2021
ityP:




Eye go clear you. Women always think na sex man wan chop. Una go learn soonest
na weytin full Una head oga

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 11:31pm On Oct 18, 2021
descarado:

Go to your village. That's the only way you can get access to them.
I happened to sit on one excruciating deliberation between our kinsmen and maiden chapter. Enough stuffs written down as I was the then sec.
It took more yrs before it was added to the main constitution. Even though its not yet added, it can be acted upon as it has been deliberated on and the relevant groups said aye.
I think they do constitutional review every few yrs, write down what popular opinion is, some yrs later, they publish new constitution. It's real democracy.

If a maiden is reported for violating any law, the law and its penalty will be read out before her.
I don't know how it's done in other places.
I doubt any village I know has things as organized as yours sounds. Where did you say your town is? Maybe I can access that one instead while I wait to find others that have their acts together like yours does. undecided
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 11:33pm On Oct 18, 2021
BluntCrazeMan:
Traditions Dey,, and Traditions Dey Too..
If you seek, you will find..
Some of the traditions that you think that are no more in existence might still be there, it's just that foreign religions have infiltrated our practice systems, and thus, the traditions are now becoming modernised by themselves.
..
Masquerades, for instance, are now made from clothes.. Man-made clothes..
But masquerades are supposed to be spirits who borrowed physical items from the elements of nature in order to have physical forms that can be visible.
Such items include leaves, stones, and sometimes clouds of vapour and/or smoke
Where do I seek. I dey abroad so all my seek is done online and mostly limited to legal documents. undecided
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by jmoore(m): 11:34pm On Oct 18, 2021
The op is a fool!!

Where did you see church wedding in your Bible?

Where did you see vows being exchanged in the Bible?

Looking down on traditional marriage shows you are still a slave.
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by FlipModeSquade(m): 11:37pm On Oct 18, 2021
Kobojunkie:
Traditional laws define marriage as a polygamous union between a man and his numerous partners leaving it open to the man to decide. The court marriage laws, on the other hand, define marriage as a monogamous union. So you see how disadvantageous the traditional laws are to the woman. undecided

So, it becomes necessary for any women who chose to go the traditional route to insist that clauses be added to the contract to restrict her marriage in order for it to be a monogamous one.. undecided
So what exactly is adultery under traditional marriage?

Where was it prescribed that a married man under traditional law is free to commit adultery?

Even if polygamy is allowed..

Is that tantamount to adultery?
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by BluntCrazeMan: 11:40pm On Oct 18, 2021
FlipModeSquade:
So what exactly is adultery under traditional marriage?

Where was it prescribed that a married man under traditional law is free to commit adultery?

Even if polygamy is allowed..

Is that tantamount to adultery?
Explain what a concubine is, and you have your answer..
..
Concubines are not bad in the traditional laws.
..
..
And now, can a woman have a male concubine??
If you answer this correctly, then you will also have the answer to the question of whether traditional laws allowed women to be adulterous too.
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 11:41pm On Oct 18, 2021
FlipModeSquade:
1.So what exactly is adultery under traditional marriage?

2. Where was it prescribed that a married man under traditional law is free to commit adultery?

Even if polygamy is allowed..

3. Is that tantamount to adultery?
1. There is no such thing.

2. It does not need to be prescribed since a married man is allowed to have as many women(even concubines) as he desires.

3. Having concubines entails adultery is allowed, or does it not? undecided
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by zomoears(m): 11:52pm On Oct 18, 2021
Biglittlelois:



I guess the bolded is based on where you come from, as in your tribe right? Cos as far as logical sane minds are concerned, the children belong to the parents, as in the husband and wife, in case of divorce and whatnot, custody will/should be given to who is best suitable to take care of them efficiently.

Seems like Op is on a mission to create baseless unwarranted arguments and unnecessary war of words between both genders undecided

The OP is tryin to enlighten ladies to take a route that gives them more protection.

Learn, una no go learn. Na argue una want.

Go and do only traditional marriage na. Then you can enforce some of the sentiments you are saying up here in court make we see.

Better cover your tracks properly, cross all the T’s and dot the I’s.

There is a reason why there is Customary Court, Sharia Court and then the Regular Courts. Affairs of a traditional marriage can only be adjudicated by a customary court, a marriage contracted under Islamic Law can only be adjudicated by a Sharia Court. I stand to be corrected here.

A word is enough.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by dlox147(m): 11:52pm On Oct 18, 2021
Biglittlelois:


1) I am not missing anything or using emotions kobo, no where does it say traditional marriage is an automatic polygamy or adultery, you are using assumptions as points for your arguments

2) Don't take me and others back to our medieval times or my great grand mother or ancestors cos believe it or not, everyone of them were not polygamous, my great grand father was not polygamous, his wife died and he never married again, he took care of his kids alone, he is my example, and I'm sure there are cases like his' too, why wasn't he polygamous since you and Op assumes so?

3) Come back to earth, as in our time, this generation, marrying under traditional laws is not an automatic anything, no one is agreeing to any automatic deal of anything.

In the Nigerian law, you are allowed by law to marry as much wives as you can accommodate, but that is as long as you are married traditionally.
However, those rights are automatically forfeited the moment you are married in either a Church or Registry.
I hope you know that Customary courts exist?
And in customary courts, cases are judged based on the traditional and cultural heritage of the parties involved.

4 Likes

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Nobody: 11:54pm On Oct 18, 2021
Boyfriend wey dey do you anyhow na husband wey go embarrass you one day

Custom blah blah their mates have one wife multiple children and flourishing businesses.

Longtroat na bad thing period na why Africa never move ni too many offspring less structured homes less inspiration to do something other than frame others or commit crime

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by maureensylvia(f): 11:58pm On Oct 18, 2021
TheGreatOne90:
Enter court marriage with nigerian woman, at your own risk. Na your property and money she dey target so

Haba nau
Easy brother
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by StreetMedia: 12:00am On Oct 19, 2021
maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed
How did we get here?.
A borrowed culture is now causing us headache.

Whatever you believe sha...
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by maureensylvia(f): 12:07am On Oct 19, 2021
Yankee101:
You wan snatch person husband abi why this?

Hi, I'm happily married with three kids
Cheers

4 Likes

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by zomoears(m): 12:11am On Oct 19, 2021
BadBradley:
your clitoriz is bigger than your entire brain mass. All traditional marriages are anchored on African culture which is poligamous. There's no need for an express declaration.

Dullards and idiots like you are so useless and dumb that you don't even know when you're stupid and embarrassingly foolish.

Modern slowpoke.

Regurgitated, curb prostitute.

Shots fired!

You measure am? grin

2 Likes

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by hosemujica: 12:28am On Oct 19, 2021
Biglittlelois:



And there are no oaths or agreements by either party that adultery or polygamy is allowed, are there?
Your IQ is too high for this op and her supporters, don't waste your time.
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by DEMZEE(m): 12:32am On Oct 19, 2021
descarado:

It is well.
There are some cultures where women marry more than one husband.
Have you heard of polyandry?
Some part of Northern Nigeria practice polyandry in the olden days. Tibet, small fraction of India etc still practice polyandry.

Internet is also a great teacher.

But exceptions don't make the rule tho
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by DEMZEE(m): 12:33am On Oct 19, 2021
ityP:




Very wrong o. Except na under Sharia. Apart from that, if a man marries a woman customarily and attempts to marry another one, na jail dey call am. It is a crime. They sound it like alarm in marriage registries sef

So polygamy is illegal under the law
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by DEMZEE(m): 12:34am On Oct 19, 2021
Sleekfingers:




Legally speaking , it is illegal......but still widely practice in nigeria......thats why a woman who got married in a court , got more legal access to her husband properties...after the man dies ...the second wife na just another decoration in the eyes of the law......


Wow
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by DEMZEE(m): 12:34am On Oct 19, 2021
Kobojunkie:
You are not answering the question at all. What family values are those you pretend are found in Nigeria but not the western world? undecided

Maybe you are blind
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by DEMZEE(m): 12:35am On Oct 19, 2021
Kobojunkie:
Obviously women can hence the reason they also cheat in much the same way that men can. undecided

But they don't Marry two men tho

1 Like

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 12:38am On Oct 19, 2021
DEMZEE:
But they don't Marry two men tho
Yes, they do when the law and conditions allow for polyandry.

In many cases however, particularly where the the laws are against such freedoms, women can and do resort to cheating just like their men folk. undecided

3 Likes

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by MrMacinterchi1: 12:41am On Oct 19, 2021
Biglittlelois:



Words of mouth isn't a law, a village king can just as well wake up one day and proclaim what suits him, doesn't make it factual or true.
That it's not written doesn't make it not to be a law. that is why it's called unwritten. The king doesn't the sole write to change it but can initiate the process, he still need to work with his cabinets and elders.

1 Like

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 12:42am On Oct 19, 2021
DEMZEE:
Maybe you are blind
Again, the question was what family values do you refer to that are not observed in the western setting? undecided

Patriarchy is not a family value neither is women occupying a second-class status in society a family value. undecided
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Toks2008(m): 12:48am On Oct 19, 2021
pocohantas:
The OP is right, painfully so.

Traditionally a man can take as many wives as he deems fit. There is no part of the Nigerian culture that is against polygamy. More reason I am always shocked when some men say, “let’s go back to the ways of our fathers”. Nobody blocked the road to polygamy. It is very open for any man willing to practice it in 2021.

Polygamy is not having one wife and smoking loud with a 200L girl in a serviced apartment. Our forefathers didn’t do that.

Make your stand clear, let the woman know what she is going into and bring all of them home.

Gone are the days when men put all wives under same roof.

The best bet is to rent seperate apartments for them or build an estate and put them in different apartments

1 Like

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Toks2008(m): 12:50am On Oct 19, 2021
DEMZEE:


So polygamy is illegal under the law

Yes polygamy is a crime if you do court wedding but the Irony is that men still have secret wives so what is the point?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by tctrills: 12:56am On Oct 19, 2021
ityP:



Which custom? That custom no dey pay bride price? Abi na the woman dey pay bride price
That's why I
told you to carry out your research first. Not all traditions and cultures are the same in Africa. I annoys me when whites think we African have 1 set culture but when a fellow African thinks that way, It's far worse.
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by tctrills: 12:58am On Oct 19, 2021
Kobojunkie:
Can you be more specific with customs you reference here? undecided
Google is your friend. research on African cultures where children claim maternal rights. After your research, let's discuss.
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by MrMacinterchi1: 12:59am On Oct 19, 2021
BadBradley:
god go destroy your papa and mama and dem go bury you in their lifetime by their own hands.

So after you cursed and refrenced my father you still dey call mods?

And you think I care about bans?

Your mama na prostitute and your papa na drunkard. Na your mama anal bonus she take borrow your papa when he take pay her bride price.

Demented mentally handicapped ashawo.
nawa ooo.
bro na fight? easy nah

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