₦airaland Forum

Karleb:
If I had a gun, I would have given you a head shot.

Rabid, unhinged and emotional.

cayorday89:
You are right but not entirely right, it is not man's mentality alone but also of the female gender, in the form of mothers and even young ladies of your generation, in other words it is a societal decision which some both male and female will adhere to and some others will not go against, the problem now is finding who fits and have the same mindset as you.
Now, how many mothers will not raise eyebrows if they visit their sons and see him doing doing house chores on a regular just to help the wife out, imagine what will be of the wife from the mother-in-law's reaction. HUSBAND IS WILLING BUT YOUR FELLOW WOMAN IS AGAINST IT.
2nd point, some ladies of your generation(can't say your age and generation but you get the point), many of them will carry themselves by going to their boyfriend's house to spend the weekend and the only thing they show to feel accepted is to do house chores willingly in a bid to feel accepted, God help her she visits the family house and she does the little she could do, it is the females in that family house that will still accuse her of not been responsible. FELLOW WOMAN IS ENSLAVING FELLOW WOMAN FOR THEIR SONS AND BROTHERS TO FEEL APPROVED.
Personal experience, in school I lived in a hostel where we have only one female amongst 11 guys and we only have one toilet, this toilet is always clean but she traveled one time and by the third day it was getting dirty, I think I noticed on the fourth day and I washed it, when others came they were just saying I knew it is Kay(me) that washed it. When she came back she also said she knew I was the only one that can wash it, in my house I have never washed toilet before, but my dad does together with my mum and elder sister, a woman came to our house one day and saw my dad washing it, she asked why he was doing that when my mum is at home..
WOMAN QUESTIONING A MAN WHO IS HIGHLY DOMESTICATED.
I am the only son amongst three sisters, but yet I am highly domesticated, can do all what the society called female chores, helps my mum out in her shop which is in front of the house especially when it comes to thorough cleaning, women see me, they compliment me and say my wife will enjoy but not without ending it with, what about your sisters are they not supposed to be the ones doing that.
In all, many men are willing but won't do because their manliness will be questioned by women.

On point my bro you are the only one that get what I have been trying to say that is where the acronym is a man world originate from a man must be in control you must act and behave like the alpha male always but not stopping you from loving your wife and children

cococandy:
Yes indeed. Misogyny and the patriarchy cannot be sustained if women weren’t helping to uphold it.

Reason why I like treating or commenting on marital issues in isolation rather than citing examples of people who have tailored their lives according to their own understanding and acceptance or merging everyone with a general rule.

cayorday89:
You are right but not entirely right, it is not man's mentality alone but also of the female gender, in the form of mothers and even young ladies of your generation, in other words it is a societal decision which some both male and female will adhere to and some others will not go against, the problem now is finding who fits and have the same mindset as you.
Now, how many mothers will not raise eyebrows if they visit their sons and see him doing doing house chores on a regular just to help the wife out, imagine what will be of the wife from the mother-in-law's reaction. HUSBAND IS WILLING BUT YOUR FELLOW WOMAN IS AGAINST IT.

2nd point, some ladies of your generation(can't say your age and generation but you get the point), many of them will carry themselves by going to their boyfriend's house to spend the weekend and the only thing they show to feel accepted is to do house chores willingly in a bid to feel accepted, God help her she visits the family house and she does the little she could do, it is the females in that family house that will still accuse her of not been responsible. FELLOW WOMAN IS ENSLAVING FELLOW WOMAN FOR THEIR SONS AND BROTHERS TO FEEL APPROVED.
Personal experience, in school I lived in a hostel where we have only one female amongst 11 guys and we only have one toilet, this toilet is always clean but she traveled one time and by the third day it was getting dirty, I think I noticed on the fourth day and I washed it, when others came they were just saying I knew it is Kay(me) that washed it. When she came back she also said she knew I was the only one that can wash it, in my house I have never washed toilet before, but my dad does together with my mum and elder sister, a woman came to our house one day and saw my dad washing it, she asked why he was doing that when my mum is at home..
WOMAN QUESTIONING A MAN WHO IS HIGHLY DOMESTICATED.
I am the only son amongst three sisters, but yet I am highly domesticated, can do all what the society called female chores, helps my mum out in her shop which is in front of the house especially when it comes to thorough cleaning, women see me, they compliment me and say my wife will enjoy but not without ending it with, what about your sisters are they not supposed to be the ones doing that.
In all, many men are willing but won't do because their manliness will be questioned by women.

These points are very good points. I hope all the women here are paying attention.

I accept and agreed the genesis of this problem is create by women themselves I have met many guys who doesn't know how to cook because their mother prevented them from entering the kitchen and their clothes are washed by their junior sisters or house help I once had a friend who is an imam son he can't fry ordinary egg because growing up this are done by the women and his clothes was always washed by the boys that came to learn Qur'an and lived with them

Arsenate:
Feminists wet dream. Feminisation of men.

It is feminization and emasculation when men help their wives at home.

But virtuousness and love when women contribute financially.

Can you see that redpillers don’t have sense?

theForth:
Na poor or jobless man dey do all these ones, trust me.

Sorry, I cannot trust you, especially when I know the person is not poor or jobless.

Funny enough, it is the ones who are jobless or earn small money that try to validate their manhood by displaying unnecessary ego and lordship.

Kobojunkie:
These points are very good points. I hope all the women here are paying attention.

Hopefully they will and train their sons to be caring also, we know the fathers are a lost cause already but young ones coming up should be taught to do better, but we also know complications will arise..

Karleb:
If she chooses to wash them, all well and good but I would support her if she decides to dispose them.

I hate washing shits, the fact that it's my child's would not change that.

Lol.... Seriously, I don't understand what you're on about the "disposing" or what you are actually saying should be disposed here. Shey na the baby nyansh you wan dispose? because that's what is meant to be washed here and not the soiled diaper because no one in their right senses would wash a diaper.

So, are you saying to dispose the baby's nyansh because you can't wash poo? Lol...

.

Women do enable and contribute to the oppression of their gender. That's called internalised misogyny. When the conversation calls for it, I will speak out on it too but right now, what you're doing is simply deflection. And your anecdote doesn't trumph the majority of experiences with empirical data to back up.

cayorday89:
You are right but not entirely right, it is not man's mentality alone but also of the female gender, in the form of mothers and even young ladies of your generation, in other words it is a societal decision which some both male and female will adhere to and some others will not go against, the problem now is finding who fits and have the same mindset as you.
Now, how many mothers will not raise eyebrows if they visit their sons and see him doing doing house chores on a regular just to help the wife out, imagine what will be of the wife from the mother-in-law's reaction. HUSBAND IS WILLING BUT YOUR FELLOW WOMAN IS AGAINST IT.
2nd point, some ladies of your generation(can't say your age and generation but you get the point), many of them will carry themselves by going to their boyfriend's house to spend the weekend and the only thing they show to feel accepted is to do house chores willingly in a bid to feel accepted, God help her she visits the family house and she does the little she could do, it is the females in that family house that will still accuse her of not been responsible. FELLOW WOMAN IS ENSLAVING FELLOW WOMAN FOR THEIR SONS AND BROTHERS TO FEEL APPROVED.
Personal experience, in school I lived in a hostel where we have only one female amongst 11 guys and we only have one toilet, this toilet is always clean but she traveled one time and by the third day it was getting dirty, I think I noticed on the fourth day and I washed it, when others came they were just saying I knew it is Kay(me) that washed it. When she came back she also said she knew I was the only one that can wash it, in my house I have never washed toilet before, but my dad does together with my mum and elder sister, a woman came to our house one day and saw my dad washing it, she asked why he was doing that when my mum is at home..
WOMAN QUESTIONING A MAN WHO IS HIGHLY DOMESTICATED.
I am the only son amongst three sisters, but yet I am highly domesticated, can do all what the society called female chores, helps my mum out in her shop which is in front of the house especially when it comes to thorough cleaning, women see me, they compliment me and say my wife will enjoy but not without ending it with, what about your sisters are they not supposed to be the ones doing that.
In all, many men are willing but won't do because their manliness will be questioned by women.

Hyerin:
Women do enable and contribute to the oppression of their gender. That's called internalised misogyny. When the conversation calls for it, I will speak out on it too but right now, what you're doing is simply deflection. And your anecdote doesn't trumph the majority of experiences with empirical data to back up.

I am not in anyway deflecting, this things can't be discussed in isolation, me sef go marry one day and we learn from one another. And I am glad you somehow agreed to my keen observations.
There is a reason why I started my comment with some women just like not all men are guilty of it also. And I can't also be fighting or ranting all about this issues when I can just simply study one person, ask my questions, share my opinions with that one person and see how it goes rather than categorizing all women in one category and be fighting them all cis my peace of mind is of utmost importance to me.

cayorday89:
You are right but not entirely right, it is not man's mentality alone but also of the female gender, in the form of mothers and even young ladies of your generation, in other words it is a societal decision which some both male and female will adhere to and some others will not go against, the problem now is finding who fits and have the same mindset as you.
Now, how many mothers will not raise eyebrows if they visit their sons and see him doing doing house chores on a regular just to help the wife out, imagine what will be of the wife from the mother-in-law's reaction. HUSBAND IS WILLING BUT YOUR FELLOW WOMAN IS AGAINST IT.
2nd point, some ladies of your generation(can't say your age and generation but you get the point), many of them will carry themselves by going to their boyfriend's house to spend the weekend and the only thing they show to feel accepted is to do house chores willingly in a bid to feel accepted, God help her she visits the family house and she does the little she could do, it is the females in that family house that will still accuse her of not been responsible. FELLOW WOMAN IS ENSLAVING FELLOW WOMAN FOR THEIR SONS AND BROTHERS TO FEEL APPROVED.
Personal experience, in school I lived in a hostel where we have only one female amongst 11 guys and we only have one toilet, this toilet is always clean but she traveled one time and by the third day it was getting dirty, I think I noticed on the fourth day and I washed it, when others came they were just saying I knew it is Kay(me) that washed it. When she came back she also said she knew I was the only one that can wash it, in my house I have never washed toilet before, but my dad does together with my mum and elder sister, a woman came to our house one day and saw my dad washing it, she asked why he was doing that when my mum is at home..
WOMAN QUESTIONING A MAN WHO IS HIGHLY DOMESTICATED.
I am the only son amongst three sisters, but yet I am highly domesticated, can do all what the society called female chores, helps my mum out in her shop which is in front of the house especially when it comes to thorough cleaning, women see me, they compliment me and say my wife will enjoy but not without ending it with, what about your sisters are they not supposed to be the ones doing that.
In all, many men are willing but won't do because their manliness will be questioned by women.

Please pity us and leave this table alone

Karleb:
A. When I made my contributions, I did from the point of view of a responsible man and woman doing their very best to make their marriage work.

1. We're talking house chores here, washing diapers is easily related to lifting heavy furniture for example. You can't equate household chores to financial duties.

2. That is just an example, there are many household duties that belongs to either gender.

3. Like I said, some chores are for men only. Fine, women do alot of household chores but it doesn't negate the fact that men still do chores.

3i. I don't expect a woman to work just for her to contribute, I want her to work because their is dignity in labour, I want her to make a career for herself and the idea of a woman sitting at home has never made sense to me.

3ii. A lot of women work and still do house chores successfully, because it's their responsibility to their family. The want their marriage to work.

3iii. If a woman thinks she doesn't need a man because she supports financially and still do chores, then marriage is not for her.

4. I don't Gerrit. I believe I have talked about this in the points above.


Let us stop doing man vs woman abeg.

A. A man providing some bills and moving furniture once a while doesn't look like he is doing his best.

1. Why can't we compare financial duties to house chores? I really want to understand where you are coming from.

2. I would like you to list them for better understanding and prevention of assumptions

3i - iii. You want a woman who has a successful career (not just work), contribute to the finances and do most of the chores in the house. By the way, a woman can have a successful career and still not contribute financially in the home. I hear you that a lot of women do XYZ to 'make their marriages work.' I really hear you. I have heard of women who accept threesomes with their husbands' lovers and do anal sex. A number of women will do anything to make their marriage 'work'.

I guess my question is: Why would a high self-esteemed successful career woman marry a man who can only provide financial provision? What value is this man bringing to the table? I have not read anything valuable the man is bringing into the relationship.

Perhaps I am repeating this question because I do not dabble into unproductive and parasitic relationships. Hence a relationship between a high self-esteemed successful career woman and a man only bringing money to the table is very redundant to me.

How can a marriage thread especially as written by the OP not be men versus women? Should it be men vs goats or women vs tigers?

bukatyne:
Please pity us and leave this table alone

This carpenter is not shaking the table, he is only adding more nails to make it solid for it to take all hands that will be on deck. The matter we fight over everyday na still woman and man matter no be say we get another third sex/gender we run to, to cover for the lapses of either of the male or female..

cayorday89:
This carpenter is not shaking the table, he is only adding more nails to make it solid for it to take all hands that will be on deck. The matter we fight over everyday na still woman and man matter no be say we get another third sex/gender we run to, to cover for the lapses of either of the male or female..

@bold:

Chop kiss

Discussing gender based issues without bringing BOTH parties to the table is a waste of time.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Chop kiss

Discussing gender based issues without bringing BOTH parties to the table is a waste of time.

Big waste ooo, you don't even know where you will be hit when you are at the forefront of defending one gender alone, Chief Priest comes to mind when the thing affected his sister,it now becomes if you must cheat you suppose do am this way not that way.

bukatyne:
A. A man providing some bills and moving furniture once a while doesn't look like he is doing his best.

1. Why can't we compare financial duties to house chores? I really want to understand where you are coming from.

2. I would like you to list them for better understanding and prevention of assumptions

3i - iii. You want a woman who has a successful career (not just work), contribute to the finances and do most of the chores in the house. By the way, a woman can have a successful career and still not contribute financially in the home. I hear you that a lot of women do XYZ to 'make their marriages work.' I really hear you. I have heard of women who accept threesomes with their husbands' lovers and do anal sex. A number of women will do anything to make their marriage 'work'.

I guess my question is: Why would a high self-esteemed successful career woman marry a man who can only provide financial provision? What value is this man bringing to the table? I have not read anything valuable the man is bringing into the relationship.

Perhaps I am repeating this question because I do not dabble into unproductive and parasitic relationships. Hence a relationship between a high self-esteemed successful career woman and a man only bringing money to the table is very redundant to me.

How can a marriage thread especially as written by the OP not be men versus women? Should it be men vs goats or women vs tigers?

Alright.

cayorday89:
I am not in anyway deflecting, this things can't be discussed in isolation, me sef go marry one day and we learn from one another. And I am glad you somehow agreed to my keen observations.
There is a reason why I started my comment with some women just like not all men are guilty of it also. And I can't also be fighting or ranting all about this issues when I can just simply study one person, ask my questions, share my opinions with that one person and see how it goes rather than categorizing all women in one category and be fighting them all cis my peace of mind is of utmost importance to me.

I agree with you but the reason why women internalize misogyny has alot of layers to it that needs to be unpeeled. Culture is no doubt a culprit. Religion is another one. These two are majorly shaped by men and for men and are powerful forms of indoctrination and because women lacked any form of power in the past, they simply went with the dictates of patriarchy which still persists today. That's why I said, when the conversation calls for it, I will speak on it. It's a whole lot entirely so It's simply reductive to just throw it out when thats not the focal point of the discussion at hand.

And I also don't believe the, "not all men" narrative. It's mostly a performance to appear good while still dabbling in certain or smaller acts of misogyny or sexism which is still, that all the same. Until I see a good proportion of men who are willing to stand up to and shun other males for their wrongdoings; challenge behaviours and culture in this context then will I believe it's "not all men".

Too loud
They won’t like this.

Hyerin:
I agree with you but the reason why women internalize misogyny has alot of layers to it that needs to be unpeeled. Culture is no doubt a culprit. Religion is another one. These two are majorly shaped by men and for men and are powerful forms of indoctrination and because women lacked any form of power in the past, they simply went with the dictates of patriarchy which still persists today..

There's no big deal in helping or supporting your wife in marriage even with the house chores to reduce the work load,stress or burden,marriage is for compromise and supporting each other through thick and thin...but one thing as a man never be useless husband,you must provide for your home,though there will be moment of up and down in marriage even financially,you an support your husband but it's not your duty and the husband must know that...May God uphold all the weaken homes and provide for the family

cococandy:
I believe I speak for my sisters when I say we don’t enjoy washing shit either.
We do what needs to be done because we are expected to.

Like whoever loves washing shit?

Hathor5:
I pray God opens your eyes to punctuation.

It's always the men at the bottom of the food chain who need something to dominate via religion and culture and have decided it will be women. The low self-esteem demands they control someone. Who else but women?

Show me a domineering young man/misogynist, and I will tell you his economic background and why he can't punctuate.

Solosolojohquay:
And before you say is true love the man is also the one that wash the 3 month old baby clothes and his wife clothes have you witness this before let's discuss

No big deal. It is about what is convenient for each home.

Solosolojohquay:
Yes is reply to your post I forgot to quote you the first time yes am a Christian but I can't be exhibiting some characters or behavior in my marriage that my mum would come visiting and go to church next Sunday and be praying God heal my son and open his eyes ,I remember what the late ajimobi once said he said he used to open car door for his wife any where they go together until they visit his father one day and the man saw him opening the car door for his wife and the father called him and asked him in yoruba are you oko or husband literary means oko is the main thing and husband is mumu

Grow up and stay paying your own bills first. Apparently, you lack understanding of what you are saying.

pocohantas:
Can you see that redpillers don’t have sense?

That's just like your opinion Poco, and they tend not to hold much weight, at least to me.

Evidence on ground literally point to the contrary.

Will Smith, Nedu the comedian, the deceased young dude whose wife was banging that FCMB don and had him raised kids that weren't his, and tons other men who are wasting hard earned resources on kids that aren't theres could have done with some pills, and will definitely not agree with you.
The thing though, is you and your gang tend to sound so convincing and confidently pretend to know what you are talking about. Misleading many and by and large ensuring that SIMPle men remain SIMPle until it's rather too late.

Not a knock on you guys. Will probably do same if I were in your shoes; I mean who in their right mind will say no to willing donkeys.

BRATISLAVA:
Honestly, with the way most men sound like they're doing women (their wives) a ground-shaking favor by taking care of their own children, you'd wonder if we're dealing with people with humanity. Don't be surprised those 3 months are the only 3 months in which he will ever do anything remotely physically caring in the baby's life. Yet he will make such a huge deal of it.

Most of such comments are from little boys.

The machismo reeks of insensibility.

Isnt that the way most women sound like, ground breaking favour when they pay the house bills for few months or save the day by using their personalized money to cook for the family.
It is not a man's role to play "helpmate or kitchen assistant" ..therefore however a man chooses to help is by choice n left to his discretion, that a man chooses to stick to his role is not maschismo, it is default, goan sit down

Aforxzy:
Oh so you want the wife to die early abi. ?

Don't we have wives that pay bills too does that make them the husbands as well.

Sometimes we forget that women are humans. They shouldn't be overburden with so much when the husband can be of help with the chores or provide the finances.


quote author=APCNig post=107224932]
They may not be complaining, but that's why they die early

Mention just one woman that died from doing house chores n i will give list of thousands of men that died hustling to provide. just one

BRATISLAVA:
I've been saying it for a while on the forum. Without money, what exactly do Nigerian men have that is desirable? Usually nothing. Extract money from them and all you will have is an egotistic misogynist Neanderthal with nothing appealing.

I am glad you acknowledge, women are only after men because of money, however beyond money men are desirable because we possess power, provide security and do i have to explain how desirable handymen are, does the society respect a single woman without a man.

Now aside yansh & breast pointing down what do nigerian women have that is desirable

Solosolojohquay:
And before you say is true love the man is also the one that wash the 3 month old baby clothes and his wife clothes have you witness this before let's discuss

children of nairaland!!!!

ImaIma1:
The "our mothers and grandmothers did it" gang.

Their ego, power and reason for survival all attached to being a boss and lording over their wives. And chores like bathing their own child and doing other things around the house cannot soil that image they have created.

If our mother & grandmother could singlehandedly raise more children & do housechores with no fast time inventions yet they succeeded & still maintain great body why should one gurl raising just one child in a world filled with inventions complaining about, there is cretch to assist with toddlers, a modern woman has fast time inventions in her kitchens + washing machine somewhere in the house so whats hectic about house chores
are there any inventions out there making hustle easy for men to play their role to wives & kids.