All of You saying trash , op was hungry and nobody was at home, he made eba and ate and you’re shouting he should have asked for permission!! Which shot permission?

Mariangeles:


Okwu gbasara usekwu ehn, anahu ekwubi ya ekwubi.
Different strokes for different folks.

Just say married couples.. Okwu ya wu elechaa aghara sometimes.

What stoped you from cooking indomie lol

Munzy14:

sitting room kwa..Just reading that for the first time...The only thing I know a married man feels is his entitlement is his wife body...


I feel both hers and yours must be treated same...If their is partial acts, then injustice is the case...Treat my siblings and parents same way you will treat yours..As simple as that.

.....So a married man feels entitled to his wife's body while his wife feels entitled to the kitchen.

O Kwa ya nna a ?

Anyi n'amuta Kwa ihe ebea nkeoma.

Munzy14:

Just say married couples.. Okwu ya wu elechaa aghara sometimes.

OK. That's true.

Kingpin1000:


Anytime I visit my elder sister, If I say am hungry she will just tell me to go to the kitchen and collect food that she is tired. Mind you I have never stayed up to a day in her house but I don't think she does that with her husband male relatives.

U see the life, that's just the selfishness of women in general.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....So a married man feels entitled to his wife's body while his wife feels entitled to the kitchen.

O Kwa ya nna a ?

Anyi n'amuta Kwa ihe ebea nkeoma.

If I come closer to your woman, I know you will pull a gun..

Exactly how some women will if person enter their entitled place (kitchen)...

Ihe no n'eluwa wu omumu omumu..

Mariangeles:


OK. That's true.

Hmmm!!! This your Ok. Thats true.. ka mgbe ike okwu gwuru Nwaanyi.

Mariangeles:


I don't agree that it is about food. In some cases, maybe, but not all.

I think it is more about family dynamics, understanding and respecting it.
That is why you'll hardly see everyone agree about an issue.

I think the op knows how things "goes" in his brother's home, but chose to do different, otherwise, he wouldn't have done it in the absence of his brother's wife.
He should respect boundaries for his own self-respect.

.....This particular issue was about food.

From what the op said,he made okro soup and eba but that she likes him making only indomie.

Hence,she wouldn't have been angry if he had made just indomie.

Meaning,the op has been making use of the kitchen but on the instructions that he will be cooking only indomie. And the op wanting to change delicacy decided to cook another thing taking advantage of her absence.

The issue here mainly wasn't about using the kitchen but the type of food he cooked.

All in all,my annoyance with the op is cooking just a small quantity and finished it.

I can bet you that,that woman wouldn't have been mad if the food he cooked was for everybody.

Munzy14:


If I come closer to your woman, I know you will pull a gun..

Exactly how some women will if person enter their entitled place (kitchen)...

Ihe no n'eluwa wu omumu omumu..

.....And the woman will not pull a gun or even fight another woman going close to her husband rather she will be busy entitling the kitchen

Bia nwoke a,kpachara Anya gi.

Listen y'all!!!. It's food. Food for the belly, belly for the food. They all get destroyed at one point. Marriage is an institution of learning, not where a woman go to lay claim of possessions.

That being said, as with African traditions (since the wife is claiming the kitchen), the husband's siblings who are 18 or more also has access to everything in that house except the brother's bedroom.

A woman exert control when things like kitchen becomes her priority. More so, wife & husband's siblings should be a unit. If this is not present, then the woman is a selfish individual with a selfish target.. It also doesn't matter if she built the empire with the husband. Love conquers all things.

Kobojunkiee:
You cook okra soup for only yourself or for the entire household?

Did you also purchase your own ingredients or did you use groceries already in the house to do this?

Is your brother an extremely rich man or does his house also operate on a food budget like most homes do?

And lastly, did you at least clean up after yourself or did you expect that his wife will clean up for you?

The way I see it, there isn't nothing wrong with cooking even if in a friend's house. However, there could be everything wrong with how you do it.

Plenty sense here

JONNYSPUTE:
..,..I got it. Thanks. But make Una dey calm down.

Kitchen is not enough to break a home.Biko nu.

Sometimes that kitchen can be an issue. It's not about having power over the kitchen. It's about managing the foodstuff. People that don't have an idea how the things were bought tend to use it anyhow without thinking of others.

My brother's wife is close to us. But when we don't go into the kitchen to cook if she doesn't give us the go ahead. It's not our house. We respect the woman of the house.

Munzy14:

Hmmm!!! This your Ok. Thats true.. ka mgbe ike okwu gwuru Nwaanyi.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
A chigbuola'm!

Mazi Okacha-mara.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....And the woman will not pull a gun or even fight another woman going close to her husband rather she will be busy entitling the kitchen

Bia nwoke a,kpachara Anya gi.

Fight ke, most will zip up and ask you to use condom since you decided to be playing home and away match...A coded bye bye to skin until you build a permanent home stadium for only home match..

Joke apart, Many women don't joke with kitchen ones they marry...My grandma never did, my mom same...And I am certain my wife will not...And my daughter(s) will not as well.

Don't cook when she's around again I was once in your position.

Mercychen:
Young Man, that's tresspassing. You should learn to respect boundaries to avoid insults.

If your brother was not married, it would have been different and you have every right to do as you wish. But as long as he's married, you'll have to wait for the owner to cook and serve you herself except of course you purchased the items with your money.

The problem is that the guy is the husband's relation and hence is not wanted. Any excuse would have been sufficient to kick him out[b]. If the guy was her brother, I'm very sure she wouldn't have been upset.[/b]

Rebic:


It's just small okra and Eba fgs.

What would have happened if she had cooked and rice and fried chicken?

God forbid I end up with such woman as her SIL.

People are different.

Their situations are different.

Their pet peeves are different.

It was just a simple matter of casually asking for permission or letting the kitchen owner know what was about to happen.

ImaIma1:


Sometimes that kitchen can be an issue. It's not about having power over the kitchen. It's about managing the foodstuff. People that don't have an idea how the things were bought tend to use it anyhow without thinking of others.

My brother's wife is close to us. But when we don't go into the kitchen to cook if she doesn't give us the go ahead. It's not our house. We respect the woman of the house.

....That's why I said that women should be calming down.

Get work and support their husbands so that little things like food won't be a big problem in the house.

I know it's not easy but even while I was growing up,we were taught never to deny a hungry person asses to food provided you have even if it's little.

Nne, believe me. Givers never lack

tolakush92:


Mind you I didn’t just start living with them
And this is possibly the first time I’ll. Be cooking okra in her kitchen after several months of living with the family . What I cook often is noodles when I don’t like the family menu for the day

Okay.

Now you know that she has reservations about you cooking anything other than noodles.

With time, she may become more relaxed. But for now, please let peace reign.

PrimadonnaO:


Okay.

Now you know that she has reservations about you cooking anything other than noodles.

With time, she may become more relaxed. But for now, please let peace reign.

.....Is it the op that will let peace to reign or his brothers wife?

I want to get something clear pls. Thanks

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Is it the op that will let peace to reign or his brothers wife?

I want to get something clear pls. Thanks

When you go to a person's house, do you dictate to them what they should do and not do?

stuffs4me:



The problem is that the guy is the husband's relation and hence is not wanted. Any excuse would have been sufficient to kick him out[b]. If the guy was her brother, I'm very sure she wouldn't have been upset.[/b]

Well?
It depends on his report with her.
If they have a sister and brother kinda relationship, that shouldn't be a problem.
But maybe op is using "agidi" or the "na my brother house " mentality attitude to enter the kitchen, that was why the wife was upset.

Remember he said, he was only allowed to cook indomie? So I guess hes was trying to prove a point in a rude way.

PrimadonnaO:


When you go to a person's house, do you dictate to them what they should do and not do?

....The op didn't dictate to her. He only made use of the kitchen ( cook) So what's the noise about?
If she has wisdom,she should have gotten angry because he made the food for himself only.

She wants permission before he can make use of the kitchen because the op is not his relative.

Make Una dey speak the truth sometimes Kwa nu.

cococandy:

I agree.
But being on this forum has shown me that people actually do take their kitchens very very seriously so I’ve learned to try and not be biased about it. I guess?

I personally would want anyone staying with me to feel very free to cook and eat as they please.
If they are messy, then it’s a different issue.

I wish I could like your comment a thousand times.
Some people take some little things so seriously, life is not that hard.

Mariangeles:


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
A chigbuola'm!

Mazi Okacha-mara.

okacha-amara kwa...O nwekwaranu ihe m ma

Mercychen:


Well?
It depends on his report with her.
If they have a sister and brother kinda relationship, that shouldn't be a problem.
But maybe op is using "agidi" or the "na my brother house " mentality attitude to enter the kitchen, that was why the wife was upset.

Remember he said, he was only allowed to cook indomie? So I guess hes was trying to prove a point in a rude way.

.... So what's the difference between cooking only indomie and cooking okro soup in the kitchen?

Will the kitchen stop being kitchen if he cooks another thing?

I think that her annoyance was him cooking it for himself only without caring if others will want to eat. Finish.

Savagery. Emboldened cracked me up

TheStakeHolder:
You've done nothing wrong.

When next you go there, without permission, locate their tubers of yam. Cook and make pounded yam. Locate their soup and enjoy your life. After all it's your brother's house.

Alainilakaye.

JONNYSPUTE:
....The op didn't dictate to her. He only made use of the kitchen ( cook) So what's the noise about?
If she has wisdom,she should have gotten angry because he made the food for himself only.

She wants permission before he can make use of the kitchen because the op is not his relative.

Make Una dey speak the truth sometimes Kwa nu.

You want to quickly turn this conversation into an in-law war.

That's not the point, and I'm not getting dragged into that conversation.

Did you take permission from her? If not, you didn’t do well.

JONNYSPUTE:
....That's why I said that women should be calming down.

Get work and support their husbands so that little things like food won't be a big problem in the house.

I know it's not easy but even while I was growing up,we were taught never to deny a hungry person asses to food provided you have even if it's little.

Nne, believe me. Givers never lack

Not entering the kitchen is not the same as denying a person food. You don't have to go to the kitchen for you to eat. They are two different things.

When people visit you, do they have to cook themselves before they eat?

Even if both are working doesn't mean things should be wasted or that anyone should just go into the kitchen indiscriminately. If everyone who comes to visit goes to the kitchen on their own to cook, you'll come back one day and there's nothing to eat.

I'm very free with food. People visit and eat and take away. I send soups to my husband's friends/family. It's not the same as having to enter the kitchen to cook the food without asking.

OChimex:


You guys and this stupid entitlement mentality.

Once a man marries his wife owns the home and they become one now, meaning her needs should be first even before his mom's dad's and siblings'

You did everything wrong. Na that woman be the manager of that house. It takes nothing from you to humbly takes permission from her before you operate from her territory anyhow.

Try this shit abroad, na police one hot tempered oyinbo wife go take arrest you commoy for that house for trespassing in her property.

There is no form of entitlement whatsoever
They own and plan their house

I just feel it shouldn’t be a bug if I cook in the house

If I was I her shoes I wouldn’t have felt bad