You must take permission from her to cook because that is her territory in her house.

I know you would want to say shebi it's my brother's house, my sister it's the woman that really own the home. It's your brother's House, but it's her Home, note the difference.

When you get married and the same thing happens you will understand better.

tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

People's home is their territory they determine the rules and regulations that govern their homes. It is obvious that the relationship between you and your sister-in-law hasn't matured to the extent that she can allow you to cook in her kitchen. Find out what you need to do to earn that trust, I have friends and family I can enter their kitchen and cook, there are some I can't even touch water dispenser. It's all about relationship bonds. Some people are very nice people but very territorial, know the boundary lines.

Hahahahaha

TheStakeHolder:
You've done nothing wrong.

When next you go there, without permission, locate their tubers of yam. Cook and make pounded yam. Locate their soup and enjoy your life. After all it's your brother's house.

Alainilakaye.

Iyaebe:
Very wrong, its same as stripping her naked. kitchen is a private business strictly for the madam of the house and only with her permission can you go into her kitchen to cook, you should have simply demanded that which you cooked for yourself from her,at least you have that right.

African/Nigerian women and unnecessary kitchen rules gets me tired. Yawns*

valentineuwakwe:
Am a senior man so listen. ...



You did nothing bad in cooking in your brothers house but know that he is no longer your brother but our brother and a woman owns that kitchen now. If the wife feels bad perhaps you guys are not dat close n no bond yet so she still see you as an intruder n feels unhappy. Dont let it weight you down, just habe a heart to heart talk woth her n clear all her irrational feelings about it. You will see, she will laugh over it n get to be very veey close to her n she will be more free n even allow you use her make up too
Cheers

Lol wetin he wan use her makeup do

tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

You have answer to your question....If there is love. If there is love she will even finished the okro soup, na you for dey complain say your sister in law don finish your okro soup. But note that she may not be solely responsible for the absence of such love and again, as human beings, some are more free than the others

Your brother wife na witch hazel



You packing out soon this i have seen

olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

As in ehn. If anyone wants to cook in my kitchen cos they're hungry rather than expect me cook for them...I swear to God, I'd be happy. Would even ask if they can add my own join and the rest of the family if they don't mind. This life is not that hard o.

You have the nerve to enter your bro wife kitchen that’s fvcking rude you should apologize to her. Respect yourself respect your space too na so family matter de start o on code.

Kobojunkiee:
I hope this is sarcasm!

Yes it is.

"Alainilaakaye" means "senseless person" in yoruba.

MALIGNANTGuest:
That's women for you.
They never complain whenever they have their siblings around.
The MOMENT, husband's relatives arrive, they start a special scrutiny, looking out for mistakes so as to send them out.

Their Relatives can mess up their matrimonial apartment, they wouldn't mind.

The truth is, the woman can talk to her siblings the way she likes, they will tolerate her, but she can't try it to her husband people, she is meant to respect her husband's relatives.
That's the problem

Iyaebe:
Very wrong, its same as stripping her naked.

E never reach like that calm down

Sanchez01:

I am territorial even as a male and I protect my kitchen far more than I'll ever protect my personal toilet.

Since you are or the wobe generation, you probably may never understand that the space of married couples is 100% theirs save they give you permission to use it, be it the kitchen, bathroom or toilet. That you live with them does not give you the right to encroach and trespass, save you are asked to freely use the space. Even at that, the 'freely' comes with some level of unspoken rules.

If you don't like it, simply leave.

Lmao. Toilet it is for me o. Just keep the kitchen clean.

I wish my in-laws will just come to my house one day and turn it up-side down honestly.

You did nothing wrong darling, you thought it’s your home too but since your wife’s brother is not happy with move, please adjust.

She might have done that because there’s no enough food or may be she’s a stingy wife. But is this your first of of cooking in her kitchen??

Above all, it’s her husband, home and her kitchen and probably the food she bought with her own money, nevertheless, try and create a boundary in your brothers house since he’s married.

I'm surprised that most people either they didn't read the message or maybe overcome by emotions of where the op wrote "my brother's house".

From the message op actually said that
the only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie


I believe op cooked based on this assumption, not because of brother's house.

Since the wife was actually not happy with his actions, it's best for him to stick to indimie pending when he leaves the house which is best for him or find alternative eating arrangements.

The only place you can cook without problems is where you own. We attach a whole lot of importance to things that don't matter.

Personally, I like respect. Apart from what I'm served, any other thing I desire, I go outside and settle myself.

However, so long it's not habitual, women should be tolerant. If it was her own brother, all these drama won't exist.

tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

Felt bad as in angry or sad?

The distinction makes a whole lot of difference.

Drama,

She either get use to it, or you give them space. It's her insecurity.

Na wa for women o. If didn't cook by himself, they will cry "can't you enter kitchen by yourself?", If you now enter and cook, the same women will say "what right have you to enter my kitchen?". Wetin we, squatters association no go face for women hand?

olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

I am territorial even as a male and I protect my kitchen far more than I'll ever protect my personal toilet.

Since you are or the wobe generation, you probably may never understand that the space of married couples is 100% theirs save they give you permission to use it, be it the kitchen, bathroom or toilet. That you live with them does not give you the right to encroach and trespass, save you are asked to freely use the space. Even at that, the 'freely' comes with some level of unspoken rules. In the case of the OP, he cooked for himself which makes it worse. You don't go to people's spaces and cook for yourself. Two major 'visitation sins' there!

If you don't like it, simply leave.

Well, depending on the relationship between them.
For example my uncle and I used to stayed together, I do the cleaning and the cooking for us before he got married but the funny matter be say, I and the wife no dey agree as both of us are cat and rat. We don’t like each other.
But I have never go to her kitchen and cook. Never.
Even when my big brother and the wife said I can cook since I no dey agree eat her food.
I better go outside and eat then to cook in same house with her because I no want wahala

MALIGNANTGuest:
That's women for you.
They never complain whenever they have their siblings around.
The MOMENT, husband's relatives arrive, they start a special scrutiny, looking out for mistakes so as to send them out.

Their Relatives can mess up their matrimonial apartment, they wouldn't mind.

vquote author=godofuck231 post=107475580]You have done all wrong , no matter how rich she is or educated , in the African context you have broken into her kitchen , without her permission it’s not allowed , even amongst women , it’s a thing of trust , except permitted do not do such it’s seen as treachery, she knows how she has rationed her food stock and poisoning a full family starts from the kitchen or around, she’s accountable for her kitchen and keeping it clean , so as what ever comes out of it , it’s so bad that some woman don’t let their husbands or sons into the kitchen,
1, their body de hot when them de cook they are under pressure and heat , them fit use hot oil teach you lesson quietly self
2, it disorganises them
3, it’s dangerous accidents occur
4 , for safety reasons strangers and visitors in their kitchen due to African wickedness could drop harmful substances in the pot
5 , some woman frown at opening their pots
6 ,you are a guest , forget your brother only when she loves you as an inlaw she would permit you in [/quote]
What are you even saying? Be succinct in ur explanation or maybe pragmatic either ways..

If I had an inlaw staying with us, they had better not expect that only I would be doing the cooking and other house chores. He/she would get their ass in the kitchen and cook for the house. All house chores will be shared equally too.

Entitlement mentality go keee our Nigerian youths
It’s not ur house ogbeni

Again do U know how easy it is for her to get Money for the ingredients(palm oil, Gas etc) U used ?? Even if it’s from ur brother??

NEXT time buy everything u r going to use plus Gas.

Is it only Men you want advise from?
How about Women who may have insight into why She may be feeling bad.

For some Women, especially housewives, the kitchen is their domain and Centre of power , for others may feel disrespectful that you as a Man are cooking when She’s there.

I think the best person to answer this question is your brothers Wife, herself.

The next best person will be your brother.

Bola146:
as for me, there is nothing wrong with that inasmuch she didn't cook the eba, but before you do this make such they have enough no that they are managing themselves, so you should cook for others to eat. As for me as the wife, I'll be glad to eat from it if it's sweet I don't see anything wrong with it. But if she doesn't like it please let it be like that please, don't let her hate you, pray to God to help you get your own house to be free as you like.

Good advice. I wish i can create a thread about my own predicament. In the hands of my brother's wife. He is lucky he can even cook in his brothers house.

TheStakeHolder:
You've done nothing wrong.

When next you go there, without permission, locate their tubers of yam. Cook and make pounded yam. Locate their soup and enjoy your life. After all it's your brother's house.

Alainilakaye.

Let me start with a question, did your brother eat from the food or you cooked for yourself only?

Bros, try get ur own house.