₦airaland Forum

Don't even kill yourself for a man. You made the right choice,it's time.tk live your life to the.fullest.

Kobojunkie:
By outsource, you mean hire a maid to do the job instead? Why have wife then?

Please reread the previous comment which you pretended to respond to so as to better understand what the discussion is about.

not just a maid, a surrogate, then a babysitter, also a driver, and someone to run errands, a counselor too.

Well, I have very simple question for you…

1. Why, in all your detailed write up, did you omit the reason(s) he chose to stay without you, even in all your immaculate nature. Same reason the church found cogent enough to release you as a wife?

When you omit key info as such I’d be forced to assume you’re manipulative, ungrateful and immature. Of which all these traits are harmful to any successful home.

It’s very okay to separate and live your life BUT do not try to hinge the failure on anyone else but you. Maturity is about taking responsibility and fixing your errors.

By the way, I still enjoyed the story of your ex being a demon while you, an angel.

holocron:
I put it to you that this is a tissue of lies and fabrication. OP sounds like an ingrate. You are serving/working for your family and instead of appreciating the results of your good works, you are grumbling, complaining and whining. Your husband struggles to do his part in upkeeping the family, you do not appreciate his role but you complain of your own role. You purposely abandoned your family and children for a fake independence and shallow ambitions and now you are regretting. You lost your cherished family for phantom degrees, career and independence. What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and then lose his soul?

God bless you
One sided story dey sweet.. if the guy opens his mouth too to tell what he has suffered in her hand .. we go shake our head

Hathor5:
Did I get it wrong or you? I thought the husband kicked her out.

Were u there when he kicked her out?
Let's be slow to judge.. only God sees the unknown.

Grandmeister:
But in this case the man was providing. Which is the number one tenet of a responsible father. The wife didn't have a job, so her most important job was the kids at home...and even that too was too much for her! If she was also working then it would be a different matter. But she wasn't, the one time she tried to get a job she couldn't even keep it. Tell me how can you ask your husband for a nanny when you are at home 24/7?? How can you ask him to buy a washing machine when you're staying at home 24/7?? He is catering for 5 kids plus you already! It must be taking a toll on his pockets.

I don't think she was complaining about taking care of her children. My understanding of her situation is that she felt overwhelmed physically and mentally.

How can she ask for a nanny, you ask? Same way a beautician at her spa wants an assistant. Same way an accountant in a corporate firm may wish to have an Accounts Assistant. Same way the Senior Librarian of an establishment wants an Assistant Librarian. Same way a Head Chef of a restaurant needs a Sous Chef. Same way a Farm Manager needs an assistant. Same way the Audit Manager requires an Audit Associate. Same way there is an Assistant Coach in a football club that already has a Coach. I could go on and on.

You're wondering why she needs a washing machine? Is a washing machine a luxury in Nigeria? Hehehe...
This is the part where I just laugh.

If you have an option of making your work lighter (even where you work), won't you prefer it? Wouldn't you prefer a software or a template that saves you time and energy at your place of work? Or in school if you're a student? Or let's assume you run a business of churning butter from milk, won't you prefer a churning machine as opposed to doing it the draconian way? Why are washing machines demonized in Nigeria anyway? This isn't the first time I've come across a Nigerian male wailing about women who use washing machines in their homes. What's the story behind it?

If there's an option you can take to simplify your life by all means negotiate for it if it's causing no harm to any party. If you're not breaking the laws of God, nor of man. You're not causing emotional stress to anybody. You're not doing anything immoral. You just want something that can make your life simpler. Why not take it? It's just a washing machine (which she even purchased for herself). It's not that serious.

Burnout can happen to anybody, including you.

Charity4real:
Exactly my thought. You could have waited for the kids to advance more before getting back to your career. You must have nagged this man to the extreme for him to take such action. Probably you allowed bad advisers to deceive you out of your marriage.

I am in the same situation now; taking care of my children and giving my husband time to
stand well here, but I am just taking my cool, even when my friends are working and grabbing there dollars daily, I am not moved because at the appointed time, everything will fall into places.

Hmm.. my sister. I had an issue with my wife that left us separated for 7 months. Thank God we came back together and I tell you that we are enjoying the best of time ever since. Now this is my point: My wife said ,she now realized that the advice her twin sister & friends were giving her are what they cannot apply in their marriages. Thank God she came back by herself with my son and I received her with the whole of my heart.. Today we are doing well together

American women do all of what you said, however they have appliances such as washing machine to help. There is no 24 hour house help in America unless you are rich like a politician or celebrity. American women have jobs and continue on with their house duties. This is also the reason many women in America are likely divorced, due to being overworked.

Marriage is not bondage... You people just ended up with selfish humans as husband or wife and cry later.

Because the fulfilment in marriage is very artificial. Most people marry to only satisfy peers and the community.
Inside of you, you know you dont need marriage. When you are finally divorced, your body will naturally heal

I love you already!!

The devil has even stopped using enemies to deceive people out of marriage. He uses friends and families..people we trust and the derailers on social media who many times have no life anymore.

People whose life away from social media are a sorrowful and poor life that’s very far from the fake glamorous life they try to depict, people who have lost theirs , have nothing more to loose and are now on a sole mission to initiate as much people as possible into their lonely, sad and horrible “Club”.

Ever ready to console and advice, waiting patiently always to admit you into their society ….”the more the merrier”

All successful marriages and people i know took things in phases and stages with a lot of patience and benevolence towards their family.

*One without purpose and thirst for wisdom and understand will end up were the crowd ends!!

Charity4real:
Exactly my thought. You could have waited for the kids to advance more before getting back to your career. You must have nagged this man to the extreme for him to take such action. Probably you allowed bad advisers to deceive you out of your marriage.

I am in the same situation now; taking care of my children and giving my husband time to stand well here, but I am just taking my cool, even when my friends are working and grabbing there dollars daily, I am not moved because at the appointed time, everything will fall into places.

MNDY:
My brother, are you minding her. To be honest, I don't know what is wrong with females. Their reasoning faculty does not measure up. A vast majority of them are all the same. She must have nagged the man so much. She wants him to be involved in the chores too after making money for the family.

Very ungrateful gender.
When the man provides the money they will term it "his responsibilities" they should also tell us the responsibilities of a woman in marriage

Midas01:
So you see being a full time house wife as doing nothing?

Most of you cannot survive living your bachelor life alone without a woman by your side to cook, clean and wash your dirty smelling clothes and boxers but you dare call it nothing when you have someone who does that round the clock all day everyday for the rest of their lives for you.

What do you African men really want? You're only bold enough to do and say rubbish when you're married to your African women but when married to your white great grand mothers you become errand boys, doing everything you swore your African redpilled egoistic self would never do.

You want the traditional African setting only when it favours you. You want a wife who'd split bills with you. Someone who'd also work 9 - 5 like you but still come back to wash, clean, babysit and fvck you as if body na firewood while refusing to also help in house chores.

Keep fooling yourselves. Thank God women are getting wiser now.

So much wasted energy. Please go back and read my comment again - slowly this time.

I basically said ops story is a lesson to women who think being a housewife means doing nothing at all. When, in fact, it's a lot of work.

holocron:
I put it to you that this is a tissue of lies and fabrication. OP sounds like an ingrate. You are serving/working for your family and instead of appreciating the results of your good works, you are grumbling, complaining and whining. Your husband struggles to do his part in upkeeping the family, you do not appreciate his role but you complain of your own role. You purposely abandoned your family and children for a fake independence and shallow ambitions and now you are regretting. You lost your cherished family for phantom degrees, career and independence. What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and then lose his soul?

Truer words...

Marriage is all about sacrifice and Appreciation...Anyone who is not willing to, should just stay away from it.

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

. Lies. Made-up story.

So so pathetic. I wished your husband hadn't pushed you out. You did a good job for your family.

But the irony of life is that good people end up with the wrong people. I pray God will grant your heart desires

Vision101:
The op's write up and most comments mainly align to the position of a woman. This also happens to men. Some men spend all their lives and energy thinking and providing for their families.

He leaves so early and returns very late. Children are in good schools, madam looks gorgeous. The home is comfortable but he hardly stays at home. The guy man hardly upgrade his dress except that detected by his work rules.

His life is pressure and stress. The spouse might still be nagging. Is this the reason why there are more widows than widowers?

The woman and many others in the picture won't see this as sacrifice from the man's part...To them, it is nothing...

Rather, staying at home and watching rihanna and Kardashians dress for kill is what impress them..

Their is a sense of responsibility, maturity and reasoning when a woman works and earn as well...Their won't be time for rubbish and sitting at home to do asiri(gossips) or begin to eye one randy guy in the neighbourhood or discuss a sister who is using guys to play tik tok within the environs..

Or even have time for Mama Ngozi and her yard people stories and gossips masked with jealousy..

A working and Intelligent mom is a man's best gift to his unborn kids.

When sense is not where to be found be divorced...


Smh

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

They didn't improve, it only appear so because you are looking at them from a distance.
Another possibility is that they may not be compatible with the previous person but compatible with the new person.

Hathor5:
I know you like telling yourselves that ladies would rather be in a bad marriage than divorced. Keep it up if it makes you sleep better at night.

Bad marriage stems from bad relationship any how you look at it. If the lady enjoyed good relationship with her man, which encouraged her into marriage with same man and the marriage happens to turn sour at some point, we should ask the lady what and who changed her man. The answer is fundamental to her marital destiny. If unanswered, history will still repeat itself anywhere and wherever he goes.

ImaIma1:
Quite difficult to take care of a home alone with 5 kids and not lose yourself. It's a lot of work for one person. Imagine spending almost 2hrs of my life in one day doing homework for one child.

I wonder how the woman in the story was even able to keep a job with 5kids and no help.

Hmmmmm...Smh

But most of us have comfortably employed mothers who still took care of the kids even more than 5kids and bigger home.

Something is totally wrong with this our generation of mothers and fathers...Smh..My mother created time to teach her kids then, same with my Dad.

How do you complain a mother spent 2hrs teaching her own kid, isn't that something she will enjoy later in life? . A little secret is, women enjoy most in marriage...The early sacrifice and stress on them, pay off later in life for them.

We all must go back to our parents and ask them how they did it..If not divorce cases will be on the high.

Marriage is a place of lifetime sacrifice..Anyone who isn't willing, should stay away from marriage.

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

Sorry please, for the raw deal from the ex.

All men aren't like that.
Sometimes, good wifes get married to wrong husbands.

Your future is bright, because you have moved on.

NB: we have not heard from your ex, he may also have a legitimate complaint. But still, we will always celebrate good mothers/wives

This thread is insightful

Munzy14:
Hmmmmm...Smh

But most of us have comfortably employed mothers who still took care of the kids even more than 5kids and bigger home.

Something is totally wrong with this our generation of mothers and fathers...Smh..My mother created time to teach her kids then, same with my Dad.

How do you complain a mother spent 2hrs teaching her own kid, isn't that something she will enjoy later in life? . A little secret is, women enjoy most in marriage...The early sacrifice and stress on them, pay off later in life for them.

We all must go back to our parents and ask them how they did it..If not divorce cases will be on the high.

Marriage is a place of lifetime sacrifice..Anyone who isn't willing, should stay away from marriage.

Please explain how a banker, regular office staff that works from 8-6 will birth 5 children and take care of them from infancy till adulthood alone while maintaining the job.

After maternity leave, does she take the babies to work? If she takes the baby to the creche, who picks the baby up? Or will she leave the baby in the creche till 8pm or 10pm when she gets back?

When they are in school, who picks them up and stays with them till mummy gets back? You can stay there and dish out judgement because you are a man.

You are assuming that all wives are teachers, tailors, civil servants like our mothers were.

I was the one who sat for two hours helping my daughter with her homework and I was exhausted. Is it a thing of joy to do homework with your child? Yes. Is it normal to be tired sometimes? Yes.

If you want to go back to the olden days, please do. But leave some of us who have faced the reality that we are in different times with different variables.

ImaIma1:
Please explain how a banker, regular office staff that works from 8-6 will birth 5 children and take care of them from infancy till adulthood alone while maintaining the job.

After maternity leave, does she take the babies to work? If she takes the baby to the creche, who picks the baby up? Or will she leave the baby in the creche till 8pm or 10pm when she gets back?

When they are in school, who picks them up and stays with them till mummy gets back? You can stay there and dish out judgement because you are a man.

You are assuming that all wives are teachers, tailors, civil servants like our mothers were.

I was the one who sat for two hours helping my daughter with her homework and I was exhausted. Is it a thing of joy to do homework with your child? Yes. Is it normal to be tired sometimes? Yes.

If you want to go back to the olden days, please do. But leave some of us who have faced the reality that we are in different times with different variables.

Then you should have stayed away from marriage, since you are overwhelmed by it. Why coming into marriage to cause nuisance?

Exceed15:
Hmm.. my sister. I had an issue with my wife that left us separated for 7 months. Thank God we came back together and I tell you that we are enjoying the best of time ever since. Now this is my point: My wife said ,she now realized that the advice her twin sister & friends were giving her are what they cannot apply in their marriages. Thank God she came back by herself with my son and I received her with the whole of my heart.. Today we are doing well together

The reason why I don't give anyone advise. I don't want to be referenced as a badguy when the going gets good again.

Munzy14:
Hmmmmm...Smh

But most of us have comfortably employed mothers who still took care of the kids even more than 5kids and bigger home.

Something is totally wrong with this our generation of mothers and fathers...Smh..My mother created time to teach her kids then, same with my Dad.

How do you complain a mother spent 2hrs teaching her own kid, isn't that something she will enjoy later in life? . A little secret is, women enjoy most in marriage...The early sacrifice and stress on them, pay off later in life for them.

We all must go back to our parents and ask them how they did it..If not divorce cases will be on the high.

Marriage is a place of lifetime sacrifice..Anyone who isn't willing, should stay away from marriage.

You have valid points sir, except the " women enjoy most in marriage". In life maybe ..in marriages, naaaa....there is no statistical data to back it up.
We only see the enjoyments from our own perspectives.

The only thing the OP needed from the write-up was a nice vacation. An opportunity to be away from the bustling to relax and unwind for at least 6 weeks.
She never had any for 13 years. It would have changed a lot of things but being Africans, we like sufferhead and it has caused both you and your husband a relatively stable marriage.

Other women should take heed, when it becomes overwhelming instead of bickering and tantrum, request for a vacation. Visit your families without the kids. Go somewhere nice and sightsee.

ImaIma1:
Please explain how a banker, regular office staff that works from 8-6 will birth 5 children and take care of them from infancy till adulthood alone while maintaining the job.

After maternity leave, does she take the babies to work? If she takes the baby to the creche, who picks the baby up? Or will she leave the baby in the creche till 8pm or 10pm when she gets back?

When they are in school, who picks them up and stays with them till mummy gets back? You can stay there and dish out judgement because you are a man.

You are assuming that all wives are teachers, tailors, civil servants like our mothers were.

I was the one who sat for two hours helping my daughter with her homework and I was exhausted. Is it a thing of joy to do homework with your child? Yes. Is it normal to be tired sometimes? Yes.

If you want to go back to the olden days, please do. But leave some of us who have faced the reality that we are in different times with different variables.

No work you mentioned there, that has not been in existence even during the time of our mothers.

When people want to complain or become something else, they prepare their excuse to dish out..

The earlier we ask our parents how they harnessed their marriage, the earlier we start getting solution to most burdens...Otherwise na steady lamentations here and there.

My mom was telling us how she uses her break time in office to visit our primary schools then, to watch us learn..Get familiar with our teachers and still made it to her work..Did school run as well..Still coordinated her side hustle business she established at home....super woman.

Yes my father played his own part nicely..Two will work well if they both agree..And appreciate each other, and not one partner feeling she is doing the most..

Our indomie generation mothers be feeling like they have worked extra like a Herculean task...You people should go and interview the jet age mothers..we are not even talking about the iron and stone age mothers sef.

Very true

Klass99:
This story reminds me of what Megareal (a nairaland user) said about marriage, on a different thread the 14th day of April 2021. I will never forget what she said because I thought it was profound, the full text is below.



See more of what she said below........

VintageCocktail:
You have valid points sir, except the " women enjoy most in marriage". In life maybe ..in marriages, naaaa....there is no statistical data to back it up.
We only see the enjoyments from our own perspectives.

Hmmm!!! My brother lets not go there, mothers have their special places in the heart of every member of the family including her hubby..

As long their is life, mothers enjoy more...I mean we shouldn't argue this..

It enjoyment embedded in the fruit of their labour in a marriage that worked.

Minus our woke generation of sisters who lie to themselves online, Every correct decent and intelligent woman knows she has more to gain as a natural binder in the marital institution.

Klass99:
This story reminds me of what Megareal (a nairaland user) said about marriage, on a different thread the 14th day of April 2021. I will never forget what she said because I thought it was profound, the full text is below.



See more of what she said below........

He/She is right.