₦airaland Forum

Mr man swallow your useless pride. The father could have used the money establish business for u

mastermaestro:
Yeah I get your point sir. Well since his in-laws haven't been disrespectful to him, I don't think they will now. So long as he is not dependent on them for his daily upkeep, he is good. He just needs to treat their daughter nicely like every good husband. The only part he silently mentioned in his one of his replies was that his girl likes quarrel. Let's take that her little baggage which he can manage.

The long and short is that he didn't beg for the assistance he got Whatever assistance they rendered was not even to him in the real sense, but for their own pleasure and ego. Abi them carry the 8 bags of rice give am? He met his own budget Simple.

So it is none his business really. He is a man running his own house now. He should enjoy his life, love his wife and be the oga.

The OP is not seeing it the way you and some of us are seeing it which is father in law hosted the guests EOD

He is concerned( using a mild word) that it was clear to all and sundry that the FIL did all the extra stuff's like the extra drinks extra food and all. Possibly he might have felt better there were no extra stuff's or it was not visible to all where they came from.

Not a healthy thinking at all, this line of thought will begin to grow and grow and resentment for his wife's family will set in if he's not careful. If they buy clothes for baby wahala, if they say this wahala, if wife talks too much wahala.

It's even better the bride's father spent the money on the rice and cows than giving it to the couple, if the FIL did give them the money only God knows what the OP would be thinking.

Tonero5200:
We don't pray for that.

But this majorly my fears.

On the reception, I was a little bit unbalanced.


Because the picture was clear, that her father did almost everything. (Extra drinks, surplus food and the likes)
Everyone could tell, even my own people that came for me.

Relax yourself, the wedding is over. Just go to him with a bottle of wine and thank him for his contributions. He wanted the wedding to his standard and that's what he did without putting it all on you. Go make more money bro and make that damsel happy.

I have seen a family of three guys and a girl. The boys all all foreign based. During the wedding of their only sister, they spend madly and after the wedding, they collected the guy account and bloom!

God bless your home

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.








please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.


As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Lalasticlala

Please don't read any meaning to it
Your father-in-law is simply using your wedding as opportunity to have a big party and socialise.

kelvin1191:
Relax yourself, the wedding is over. Just go to him with a bottle of wine and thank him for his contributions. He wanted the wedding to his standard and that's what he did without putting it all on you. Go make more money bro and make that damsel happy.

I have seen a family of three guys and a girl. The boys all all foreign based. During the wedding of their only sister, they spend madly and after the wedding, they collected the guy account and bloom!

God bless your home

About the appreciation, I have prostrated several times on theground and I really mean it.

My father inlaw tried

Shokoloko:
Please don't read any meaning to it
Your father-in-law is simply using your wedding as opportunity to have a big party and socialise.

Thanks, a close friend also said this.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.








please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.


As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Lalasticlala

You have nothing to worry about bro. I was in same situation with you while planning for my wedding. My FIL took over everything, he took me like his son. I was surprised at the massive show of love from my in-laws, everything was planned without anyone aside the parents and my wife knowing that FIL was the one bank rolling the whole show.

In fact, even wears for me and my wife, they bought o, they say i should not worry.
Na only yoruba traditional rites we do, yams and some little stuffs we carry go. It was just like dem dey dash me wife ni.

Till date, years after wedding, the love is still massive even more after our baby arrived.
So, Op, just relax and treat your wife well.

Shokoloko:
Please don't read any meaning to it
Your father-in-law is simply using your wedding as opportunity to have a big party and socialise.

Exactly, i demanded for small wedding, dem say God forbid.
Such families have attended lots of big parties and weddings and they have lots of big friends. So they use the wedding as an avenue to invite others to theirs.
Also, they do get lots of supports on cash and kind from their big friends too.

NoToPile:
The OP is not seeing it the way you and some of us are seeing it which is father in law hosted the guests EOD

He is concerned( using a mild word) that it was clear to all and sundry that the FIL did all the extra stuff's like the extra drinks extra food and all. Possibly he might have felt better there were no extra stuff's or it was not visible to all where they came from.

Not a healthy thinking at all, this line of thought will begin to grow and grow and resentment for his wife's family will set in if he's not careful. If they buy clothes for baby wahala, if they say this wahala, if wife talks too much wahala.

It's even better the bride's father spent the money on the rice and cows than giving it to the couple, if the FIL did give them the money only God knows what the OP would be thinking.

You are right that we see things differently. He needs to overcome the thought because it seems to be growing bigger by the day. Make him nor get hypertension o.

babyfaceafrica:
Nice points

You are welcome sir.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.








please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.


As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Lalasticlala

i dont know how this will turn out, but I hate people dictating how I plan my stuffs especially family matters. I do my stuffs on my own terms wether money dey or not, na man I be, if my in-laws wish to contribute to my wedding as I have told them I want it low and not flamboyant, they can fit their plans in ours by doing the respectable which is seating down discus how they can be of help, I will most likely accept cash gifts so that I and my wife to be will plan our day the way we are supposed to build our lives together, you don't use my day to shine just because you want to help me. Anyway na yoruba way of life, I just hope this does not give them the impetus to be shooking mouth in your family matters when they are not supposed to.

I man deserves his dignity, no man should take it away from him because of help,. I can tell that feeling you are having right now is not a good one, they have reduced an inch of your confidence..

Anyway the did is done, just watch for any unnecessary insult, and don't fail to let anyone who tries that in the name of what they have done for you know that you do not tolerate nonsense

Be the man and you should NEVER let anyone sponsor ur wedding. Be in charge and be in control.

Na the parents go control una marriage... just dey watch.

Oga calm down..you married well. Economy no dey smile again..at least if you lose your job or source of income tomorrow you have capable in-laws that can feed you o. No dey do big boy marry poor people these days o. Be warned

Iyaebe:
Well, some people don't see any big deal in it but I as a person will stubbornly refuse such thing, I'll wait till you are ready and if my parents has to assist you then it shouldn't be beyond ordinary normal assistance expected from the bride's family. I will never allow my man to behave in a way that will make anyone ever look down on him,never.If he's still not boyant and we both want the marriage in a hurry then we will do a very low key wedding with him taken full charge and won't have to go above his capability.

This is THE FIRST AND ONLY SENSIBLE write-up I have ever read from you.

It is the responsibility of the bride’s parent to do the most part if you are from southwest

Send me your wife younger sister's number.
I want to marry from that family.
Ogbeni you are fortunate.
See it as a blessing.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

You should have asked ur protective father inlaw if his wife's father sponsored his wedding. Just imagine! They should consult you first sef

If your heart is pure, what are you worried about? Just make sure she doesn't pay for the house you live in.
But then, what is marriage, if it's not about love, respect, understanding and supporting each other?

My advice, despite all her family has done, make sure you don't get lazy and dependent. Always be a man.

Happy married life.

You should be glad you have supportive inlaws.

It's a good thing and nothing to worry about. Congrats in advance bro.

Tonero5200:
Yes I married from the west.
Thanks

Rest your mind. I suspect you are not from the West and didn't know of this culture of theirs. Western (Yorubaland) parents see it as their duty to give and support their daughters' marriages. For the East, you are completely on your own My Eastern friends will tell you that doing your marriage by YOURSELF is the first test to know if you can take care of your wife.
BOTH cultures have their good and bad sides.

MPESA:
This is THE FIRST AND ONLY SENSIBLE write-up I have ever read from you.

Its because your sense fluctuates,as in go on and off.

If my daughter like make she marry Dangote, I must be a great contributor to her wedding.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Why are you worried? You are marrying into a family that is welcoming you whole-heartily and you want to spoil it with your insecurity. Oh, because her family is not one of those hungry families that will give you a list of over 1million Nair na im make you no wan get sense en? Bros, no let devil use you o!

The Koko of the traditional marriage be say you paid the pride price yourself and with that you have no cause for alarm. Do the one wey your power reach and if her family wan support you be happy about it but don't behave sheepish before them because of the help. Let them know you're grateful for whatever assistance they're giving you, but remain the man that you are I.e, no be their puppet incase them go wan use that one to start controlling you.

Hopez456:
You have nothing to worry about bro. I was in same situation with you while planning for my wedding. My FIL took over everything, he took me like his son. I was surprised at the massive show of love from my in-laws, everything was planned without anyone aside the parents and my wife knowing that FIL was the one bank rolling the whole show.

In fact, even wears for me and my wife, they bought o, they say i should not worry.
Na only yoruba traditional rites we do, yams and some little stuffs we carry go. It was just like dem dey dash me wife ni.

Till date, years after wedding, the love is still massive even more after our baby arrived.
So, Op, just relax and treat your wife well.

Lucky you. But this one they not involving d op in d plans

Yes sir

CryptoClub2018:
That is there way of expressing the joy of there daughter getting married. It has nothing to do with your marriage. Stop all this negative thinking and live your life

God bless you jaree, better person

What happened can make a wise man worried for many reasons sha. But, I think her rich parents are very happy and they super-like you for marrying their daughter for unknown reasons which you will find out as time journeys.

Wishing you happy married life bro

Kill that ego and pride. God send you a divine helper, in time of need. Reciprocate by showing their daughter love and respect, honor her parents. Expect more open doors of opportunities.

Una day tackle ladies for here for not been supportive... Support don come now, mba oooo instead of been grateful to God na question upon question.

My guy her parents helped, which is very good... Make sure you work hard and build your home.

To me they have given you handicap+6 ahead... They know you will make and keep their daughter happy, so take it in good faith and ensure both of you grow in good health, joy and happiness.

All the best bro

Iyaebe:
Well, some people don't see any big deal in it but I as a person will stubbornly refuse such thing, I'll wait till you are ready and if my parents has to assist you then it shouldn't be beyond ordinary normal assistance expected from the bride's family. I will never allow my man to behave in a way that will make anyone ever look down on him,never.If he's still not boyant and we both want the marriage in a hurry then we will do a very low key wedding and he takes full charge and won't have to go above his capability.

With this your mentality, You'll stay single for a very long time

This I have seen