Mercychen:


Why?

You think all men that married, married a wife? Sorry!

Most men didn't find a wife but a LovePeddler in disguise. That is why some will come into your life and everything will nose dive.

Forget. No time for lectures now.

Well, Wife is still the title regardless if she was a wayward lovepeddler, a decent virgin or a combination of both?

My point is that verse of the bible is one I don't agree with, perhaps we should have an adjective or a pronoun before that word Wife seeing as a lot of people swallow it verbatim.

Urbanchampion:
Normal thing, especially if na middleclass Yoruba family you married from. we no dey ever allow make God shame us, if your wedding wasn't "talk of the town", it was your In-laws they would insult, not your parents...my elder sister's friend did same for her daughter.

Abi Na, God no go shame us

Raalsalghul:


Well, Wife is still the title regardless if she was a wayward lovepeddler, a decent virgin or a combination of both?

My point is that verse of the bible is one I don't agree with, perhaps we should have an adjective or a pronoun before that word Wife seeing as a lot of people swallow it verbatim.

You want to add to the word of God?
I no dey o.

Tonero5200:

Yes I married from the west.
Thanks

Yeah I knew it must be Yoruba, we always like to show off in parties and wedding

Dude you got good in laws and wife tbh, what they did shows that they and your wife will always cover up for you when the time comes.

Have a happy married life.

If you are financially buoyant, make sure you do something substantial also irrespective of the intentions behind their generosity.

Mercychen:


You want to add to the word of God?
I no dey o.

Just saying!

Tonero5200:


The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

You're over thinking things honestly, most Yoruba weddings are done by the bride's family and is not seen as a big deal, so stop stressing yourself over nothing.

CryptoClub2018:


It's because of people like you that makes rich people don't want their children to marry someone from a low standard life. Low self esteem and pride at the same time. It's not the wedding that will determine if they will respect you or not. For them to have allowed you marry there daughter,it shows they value you and respect you already. There are other things that you will do that will make them disrespect you and definitely not this

At the bolded, you don't know that. I support marriages like that but it's not ideal if the husband is not contributing something substantial because most rich families will disrespect you with anything!

You need to look past their generosity towards you and your family.

Bros u be evil person, instead of you thanking God for help, u are here embarrassing God for the love he show to you

My only worry is the eight bags of rice.

NoToPile:
No need to be worried, it's because you are not Yoruba that's why you are worried.

Since they are Yoruba, culturally the bride's family is suppose to host the wedding I mean take care of all hosting expenses i.e feeding drinks etc, it's the way things are economically , income level of the family, evolution of culture etc that has changed the narrative.

Yoruba families that are well to do still do such nowadays.

You brought the traditional requirements and cooked and did all that you were supposed to do and that is enough.

If they decide to cook 20bqgs of rice and trailer load of drinks it doesn't mean you should get worried it's their daughter they are giving away.

The one Yoruba families will never stop talking about is if you brought tiny looking yams to marry iyawo 20 years down the line we go still talk am.

You get am very very well, they always take it personal with the yams if it is not complete or tiny, I wonder why, and all other things can be excused o, you can imagine

Are you Yoruba?

Tonero5200:

Okay thanks very much.

Quit worrying. Those from the West say it's a cultural thing. Well I don't know about that because I am not from that part. I would tell you not to worry.

When all my four sisters go married at various times, my dad spent money on their wedding ceremonies as though it was his own wedding. Cow, drinks, reception and other stuffs, besides what my in-laws did. That's who my dad has always been. Once he sees you as family, he offers his full support wholeheartedly expecting nothing in return.

Years have gone by, my in-laws have no regrets over the 'unsolicited' assistance they got during their weddings to my sisters.

Good in-laws make life easy for you. Just enjoy your life, and please do not betray the love they've shown you.

I would have preferred they set you with the money spent on the wedding. Wedding is just a day, why spending heavily when they know you aren't buoyant?

Biglittlelois:



Abi Na, God no go shame us

My brother , imagine with the OP's 2 bags of rice and one cow, reception would be midway, and there won't be rice to serve guests.

NoToPile:


Use what against you? That they killed cows and cooked bags of rice for their own daughter wedding?

You paid bride price and brought list didn't you? The the only thing that I know can be used against you is if you didnt marry the girl properly .

All these thoughts doesn't apply here oo. It's not a big deal.

What part of Nigeria are you from?

Wedding that different people from the bride's family can cook/bring different caterers ,not even the bride's father sef.

Oga go enjoy your marriage jare.

Thank you, Op is not a serious person cos I wonder what the fuss is about?

NoToPile:
No need to be worried, it's because you are not Yoruba that's why you are worried.

Since they are Yoruba, culturally the bride's family is suppose to host the wedding I mean take care of all hosting expenses i.e feeding drinks etc, it's the way things are economically , income level of the family, evolution of culture etc that has changed the narrative.

Yoruba families that are well to do still do such nowadays.

You brought the traditional requirements and cooked and did all that you were supposed to do and that is enough.

If they decide to cook 20bqgs of rice and trailer load of drinks it doesn't mean you should get worried it's their daughter they are giving away.

The one Yoruba families will never stop talking about is if you brought tiny looking yams to marry iyawo 20 years down the line we go still talk am.

That's why it's called 'igbeyawo'. Don't read meaning into it. They are the main host. You people came to their house and church for the wedding ceremony. It's normal. My dad will do the same thing.

babyfaceafrica:
I would have preferred they set you with the money spent on the wedding. Wedding is just a day, why spending heavily when they know you aren't buoyant?

It is always other tribes that talk like this

You see that Op already hates the fact that His wife's parents spent flamboyantly for their daughter's wedding, does he seem like someone that will collect one naira from his in laws? Someone that feels emasculated.

Parents that has enough to spend cos they are happy for their daughter, how is that a problem? What has Op's pocket got to do with how her parents spent theirs on their daughter?

NoToPile:


Use what against you? That they killed cows and cooked bags of rice for their own daughter wedding?

You paid bride price and brought list didn't you? The the only thing that I know can be used against you is if you didnt marry the girl properly .

All these thoughts doesn't apply here oo. It's not a big deal.

What part of Nigeria are you from?

Wedding that different people from the bride's family can cook/bring different caterers ,not even the bride's father sef.

Oga go enjoy your marriage jare.

True. The siblings of the bride's parents from the village and abriad will contribute towards the success of the wedding.

Biglittlelois:



You get am very very well, they always take it personal with the yams if it is not complete or tiny, I wonder why, and all other things can be excused o, you can imagine

Are you Yoruba?

@ bolded yes.


The yam issue is always very personal, maybe because it's not always wrapped and everybody can see how it looks max
is for them to place them in big basket but eyes can still see it.

Some even overlook the quantity ,one person mentioned that it's better to bring 20 pieces of healthy looking yams than 40 pieces of malnourshed yams.

babyfaceafrica:
I would have preferred they set you with the money spent on the wedding. Wedding is just a day, why spending heavily when they know you aren't buoyant?

It's not a big deal for rich in-laws. Good in-laws do their best to beautify their children's wedding ceremonies. Money is the paintbrush here. Unless such in-laws have openly belittled him, the spending is neither unusual nor abnormal.

Biglittlelois:



It is always other tribes that talk like this

You see that Op already hates the fact that His wife's parents spent flamboyantly for their daughter's wedding, does he seem like someone that will collect one naira from his in laws? Someone that feels emasculated.

Parents that has enough to spend cos they are happy for their daughter, how is that a problem? What has Op's pocket got to do with how her parents spent theirs on their daughter?

Assumptions. Anyway I hope he has a good job sha, I wouldn't support a lavish wedding when the couple needs money.

mastermaestro:


It's not a big deal for rich in-laws. Good in-laws do their best to beautify their children's wedding ceremonies. Money is the paintbrush here. Unless such in-laws have openly belittled him, the spending is neither unusual nor abnormal.

True, I am more concerned with after wedding than the wedding itself.

First off, you should be extremely grateful for the kind of family your wife comes from; they're selfless and supportive. Make sure you let that man know you're saw what he did and you're really grateful to him.

Now to your question: Yes! oh yes you should be worried. Right now there's nothing you can do to add like a bajillion naira to your account, but what you should do is to restrategize and see to it that very soon, you're bouyant enough to not need his help. Cos if you don't he'll keep on babying you until you become the woman of the house.

NoToPile:



@ bolded yes.


The yam issue is always very personal, maybe because it's not always wrapped and everybody can see how it looks max
is for them to place them in big basket but eyes can still see it.

Some even overlook the quantity ,one person mentioned that it's better to bring 20 pieces of healthy looking yams than 40 pieces of malnourshed yams.

Good to know

Now I see your angle at the bolded, that display of yams at the traditional wedding is a thing of pride for the Ile Iyawo when it is big and plenty, I never saw it this way some even go as far using ribbons as bow tie on each yam to make them look colourful, I've seen such display in most wedding parties these days, my people and flashy ariya ehn

I commend your inlaw, not the type that will give you list of millions of naira without contributing a penny. But note;
The day you raise your hands on that girl, quarrel with her or decided to send her parking, sorry go be your name.
Your case is for better for worst!

Hypocritically sanctimonious and ethnocentric elements everywhere. So, it's now normal and not a taboo to spend a good amount of money performing a marriage rite/ceremony - regardless of whether it is the groom or the bride's family that made the expenses, provided that they have it. It's now a thing of pride and joy that demands commendation and celebration.

flames007:
First off, you should be extremely grateful for the kind of family your wife comes from; they're selfless and supportive. Make sure you let that man know you're saw what he did and you're really grateful to him.

Now to your question: Yes! oh yes you should be worried. Right now there's nothing you can do to add like a bajillion naira to your account, but what you should do is to restrategize and see to it that very soon, you're bouyant enough to not need his help. Cos if you don't he'll keep on babying you until you become the woman of the house.

Thanks, this really helped.

babyfaceafrica:
True, I am more concerned with after wedding than the wedding itself.

Yeah I get your point sir. Well since his in-laws haven't been disrespectful to him, I don't think they will now. So long as he is not dependent on them for his daily upkeep, he is good. He just needs to treat their daughter nicely like every good husband. The only part he silently mentioned in his one of his replies was that his girl likes quarrel. Let's take that her little baggage which he can manage.

The long and short is that he didn't beg for the assistance he got. Whatever assistance they rendered was not even to him in the real sense, but for their own pleasure and ego. Abi them carry the 8 bags of rice give am? He met his own budget. Simple.

So it is none his business really. He is a man running his own house now. He should enjoy his life, love his wife and be the oga.

kelvin1191:
I commend your inlaw, not the type that will give you list of millions of naira without contributing a penny. But note;
The day you raise your hands on that girl, quarrel with her or decided to send her parking, sorry go be your name.
Your case is for better for worst!

We don't pray for that.

But this majorly my fears.

On the reception, I was a little bit unbalanced.


Because the picture was clear, that her father did almost everything. (Extra drinks, surplus food and the likes)
Everyone could tell, even my own people that came for me.

Bro, be very glad and be grateful to God. Na money nai make many men no fit marry and dey fear marriage, especially this hard time of the country.

mastermaestro:


Yeah I get your point sir. Well since his in-laws haven't been disrespectful to him, I don't think they will now. So long as he is not dependent on them for his daily upkeep, he is good. He just needs to treat their daughter nicely like every good husband. The only part he silently mentioned in his one of his replies was that his girl likes quarrel. Let's take that her little baggage which he can manage.

The long and short is that he didn't beg for the assistance he got. Whatever assistance they rendered was not even to him in the real sense, but for their own pleasure and ego. Abi them carry the 8 bags of rice give am? He met his own budget. Simple.

So it is none his business really. He is a man running his own house now. He should enjoy his life, love his wife and be the oga.

Nice points

Biglittlelois:


Good to know

Now I see your angle at the bolded, that display of yams at the traditional wedding is a thing of pride for the Ile Iyawo when it is big and plenty, I never saw it this way some even go as far using ribbons as bow tie on each yam to make them look colourful, I've seen such display in most wedding parties these days, my people and flashy ariya ehn

Exactly.