Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

My brother, if God send you helper person no dey show muscle again.
You're lucky to have a supportive in-law.

Happy married life.

Normal thing, especially if na middleclass Yoruba family you married from. we no dey ever allow make God shame us, if your wedding wasn't "talk of the town", it was your In-laws they would insult, not your parents...my elder sister's friend did same for her daughter.

No. You just be a good husband to your wife. Live your life and keep making money

Urbanchampion:
Normal thing, especially if na middleclass Yoruba family you married from. we no dey ever allow make God shame us ...my elder sister's friend did same for her daughter.

Yes I married from the west.
Thanks

Well, some people don't see any big deal in it but I as a person will stubbornly refuse such thing, I'll wait till you are ready and if my parents has to assist you then it shouldn't be beyond ordinary normal assistance expected from the bride's family. I will never allow my man to behave in a way that will make anyone ever look down on him,never.If he's still not boyant and we both want the marriage in a hurry then we will do a very low key wedding and he takes full charge and won't have to go above his capability.

CryptoClub2018:
No. You just be a good husband to your wife. Live your life and keep making money

The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

Tonero5200:


The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

That is there way of expressing the joy of there daughter getting married. It has nothing to do with your marriage. Stop all this negative thinking and live your life

Tonero5200:

Yes I married from the west.
Thanks

I pray you definitely won't have issues in your marriage. Yorùbá parents support their sons-in-law , without making any fuse out of it. Abeg focus on the lady you love and marry and love her the more.

CryptoClub2018:


That is there way of expressing the joy of there daughter getting married. It has nothing to do with your marriage. Stop all this negative thinking and live your life

Okay thanks very much.

Iyaebe:
Well, some people don't see any big deal in it but I as a person will stubbornly refuse such thing, I'll wait till you are ready and if my parents has to assist you then it shouldn't be beyond ordinary normal assistance expected from the bride's family. I will never allow my man to behave in a way that will make anyone ever look down on him,never.If he's still not boyant and we both want the marriage in a hurry then we will do a very low key wedding with him taken full charge and won't have to go above his capability.

Una too dey read meaning to unnecessary things. The money spent either by the bride or groom family on the wedding doesn't guarantee the success or failure of the marriage. It's not a yardstick

Well.. you can regard it as a favor. Though why you're worried is what I don't get.

Are you worried because you're not financially ready to go into marriage and it looks like you're being forced into it with all these kind gestures by her parents?

Or

Is it a fear of the unknown that after spending the little you have on your part, you won't have enough to start life as a married man?

If your worries are none of the above, then relax and enjoy the awoof.

"He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord".

See this as a favor from God and bless His name for it.

Package my own cow tail and send o.

Be a man take good care of your wife moving forward, that is what matter as long as you don't demand after marriage from her parent your are clear, just see it as the parent using your wedding to celebrate their well wishers, you have don your own rite, and the people you invited, you also gave them good hospitality my brother don't let

You are lucky.




Enjoy your married life.

madridguy:
My brother, if God send you helper person no dey show muscle again.
You're lucky to have a supportive in-law.

Happy married life.

my thought either

CryptoClub2018:


Una too dey read meaning to unnecessary things. The money spent either by the bride or groom family on the wedding doesn't guarantee the success or failure of the marriage.

Abegiii,I as a person will strongly refuse that,I don't want anything that will bring my man out and be perceived as a low value man. What happens to a very low key wedding where he won't be needing any assistance from anybody and his respect intact.

You av nothing to worry about baba, just love ur wife and take care of her


Wish you happy marriage

No need to be worried, it's because you are not Yoruba that's why you are worried.

Since they are Yoruba, culturally the bride's family is suppose to host the wedding I mean take care of all hosting expenses i.e feeding drinks etc, it's the way things are economically , income level of the family, evolution of culture etc that has changed the narrative.

Yoruba families that are well to do still do such nowadays.

You brought the traditional requirements and cooked and did all that you were supposed to do and that is enough.

If they decide to cook 20bqgs of rice and trailer load of drinks it doesn't mean you should get worried it's their daughter they are giving away.

The one Yoruba families will never stop talking about is if you brought tiny looking yams to marry iyawo 20 years down the line we go still talk am.

Mercychen:
Well.. you can regard it as a favor. Though why you're worried is what I don't get.

Are you worried because you're not financially ready to go into marriage and it looks like you're being forced into it with all these kind gestures by her parents?

Or

Is it a fear of the unknown that after spending the little you have on your part, you won't have enough to start life as a married man?

If your worries are none of the above, then relax and enjoy the awoof.

"He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord".

See this as a favor from God and bless His name for it.

Package my own cow tail and send o.

Am scared if they are going to use it against me later.


Like to curse me, or tell me word that will pain me in the future.

I know my girl, she can quarrel for africa but I do love her.

madridguy:
My brother, if God send you helper person no dey show muscle again.
You're lucky to have a supportive in-law.

Happy married life.

This your comment deserve a hundred likes from me alone.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.








please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.


As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Lalasticlala

Nothing is haunting you bro.
If your wife is a Yoruba, bros thank your star and go relax.
If to talk of OWAM'BE, Yorubas own it.
Don't you know that the word, "Mo ma se'gbeyawo alarinrin fun omo mi" is like an oath from a Yoruba parent. Especially if that child is someone they're proud of or loved very much, my brother, if you're not careful self, they'll buy your wedding tuxedo.
That's Yorubas for you.
And that doesn't ever mean they'll require it of you in the future. Because just as your parents are letting you go, so they are also letting theirs go.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.








please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.


As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Lalasticlala

Don't be scared love your wife, create a positive game plan to become rich and plan to have a pay back for the support of your parents-in-law

Ynix:


Don't be scared love your wife, create a positive game plan to become rich and plan to have a pay back for the support of your parents-in-law

I love This.
Thanks very much.

Tonero5200:


Am scared if they are going to use it against me later.


Like to curse me, or tell me word that will pain me in the future.

I know my girl, she can quarrel for africa but I do love her.

Oh.. that?

Did you beg them to assist?
If no, then you have nothing to worry about. If peradventure she shames you with it in future, just remind her you never solicited for their help and she knows.

Look, In this life, you have to be optimistic. Always hope for the best and stop entertaining negative thoughts.

For now, forget about all that and enjoy the moment.

Tonero5200:


Am scared if they are going to use it against me later.


Like to curse me, or tell me word that will pain me in the future.

I know my girl, she can quarrel for africa but I do love her.

Use what against you? That they killed cows and cooked bags of rice for their own daughter wedding?

You paid bride price and brought list didn't you? The the only thing that I know can be used against you is if you didnt marry the girl properly .

All these thoughts doesn't apply here oo. It's not a big deal.

What part of Nigeria are you from?

Wedding that different people from the bride's family can cook/bring different caterers ,not even the bride's father sef.

Oga go enjoy your marriage jare.

Iyaebe:
Abegiii,I as a person will strongly refuse that,I don't want anything that will bring my man out and be perceived as a low value man. What happens to a very low key wedding where he won't be needing any assistance from anybody and his respect intact.

It's because of people like you that makes rich people don't want their children to marry someone from a low standard life. Low self esteem and pride at the same time. It's not the wedding that will determine if they will respect you or not. For them to have allowed you marry there daughter,it shows they value you and respect you already. There are other things that you will do that will make them disrespect you and definitely not this

CryptoClub2018:


It's because of people like you that makes rich people don't want their children to marry someone from a low standard life. Low self esteem and pride at the same time. It's not the wedding that will determine if they will respect you or not. For them to have allowed you marry there daughter,it shows they value you and respect you already. There are other things that you will do that will make them disrespect you and definitely not this

Obviously you are not in tune with reality

Mercychen:
Well.. you can regard it as a favor. Though why you're worried is what I don't get.

Are you worried because you're not financially ready to go into marriage and it looks like you're being forced into it with all these kind gestures by her parents?

Or

Is it a fear of the unknown that after spending the little you have on your part, you won't have enough to start life as a married man?

If your worries are none of the above, then relax and enjoy the awoof.

"He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord".

See this as a favor from God and bless His name for it.

Package my own cow tail and send o.

Not always true!

Person put sugar for your mouth, you talk say, you no want, say e too sweet

Raalsalghul:



Not always true!

Why?

You think all men that married, married a wife? Sorry!

Most men didn't find a wife but a LovePeddler in disguise. That is why some will come into your life and everything will nose dive.

Forget. No time for lectures now.

A junior friend of mine is enmeshed in this right now.

Abi na you be this GP?

We were all wowed at the wedding.

And of course, na so we siddon for in law side like people wey no get mama and papa. We no kukuma pass 10 self.

Dem almost forget to serve us food abi na we dey shame to ask for food sef I don forget.

Me, I sha know say when I see say dem dey serve some people for one corner correct amala and abula, the holy spirit shifted the ground from under my feet like bicycle wey him brake don cut...na so I backslide go meet them for where dem dey serve amala, tell dem say na we be inlaws oh...before dem begin control food come we side....

Interesting scenes at the wedding though.

Na so so shushushu you go dey hear...people too gossip.

Abeg go check my signature jare