₦airaland Forum

They did it for their daughter and because they wanted it that way they had to support you so don't be worried. My elder brother's father Inlaw did same back then even to the extent of bringing the army band to play at his daughters wedding. All the jotters were printed by then and they wrote couples family on everything. My elder brother said if he wants to do anything, his father Inlaw would tell him to leave it and so on.

Relax and enjoy your marriage so that you don't allow unnecessary stuff come in between you and your wife. Moreover you didn't ask for it, they did it out of their good will and they enjoyed themselves as well

My sister married last week, and be believe me the husband didnt spend 10% of the wedding cost, you know why? He cannot take care of my dads guest, on the wedding day, I don't think he had up to 35guest from his side, and in total we had over 850guest imagine him feeding that much for my dad, it's just normal my dad take care of the wedding cost.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Worried about what na, you should even be happy. Your wife's family are supportive people and have even relieved you of expenses. It's no biggie

That's how it is done in southwest (Yoruba land), the wife's family will cook, the husband's family will also cook, while the couple will also cook to entertain their guests, your in-laws may not know all of your guests, also your own family may not know your wife's guests. All will cook to entertain their guests.
You are safe enjoy your marriage/

Money wey they suppose give you and your wife.
They want to use it to impress people.

Tonero5200:
The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

I understand our you feel even me wouldn't be comfortable still. But the truth is the dad did it they way they want it to be and not what you think it is. I know you don't really need all those things so they don't feel like they helped you.

But just relax and take your mind off it.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

what is your worry really? that he is helping out? or doing more that you? hian!

There is no cause for alarm! Just love your wife & provide for your family. The truth is from where you are married the bride family takes responsibility of the reception you are only meant to support. It is the pride of the West when their daughter is getting married to they take responsibility it is called " Won fi Omo foko" meaning "Giving the daughter in marriage"

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Normal thing if your wife is from a upper middle class Yoruba family.

So after all I did for you and my daughter, you brought it on Naira land?

Are you sure you are matured to take care of my daughter?

NoToPile:
No need to be worried, it's because you are not Yoruba that's why you are worried.

Since they are Yoruba, culturally the bride's family is suppose to host the wedding I mean take care of all hosting expenses

You brought the traditional requirements and cooked and did all that you were supposed to do and that is enough.

If they decide to cook 20bqgs of rice and trailer load of drinks it doesn't mean you should get worried it's their daughter they are giving away.

The one Yoruba families will never stop talking about is if you brought tiny looking yams to marry iyawo 20 years down the line we go still talk am.

like my sister own after every every my mum called the groom mom to come and see what they brought o, say we get things like sugar cane at our backyard they could have cut and present, instead of bringing SAPAD things

You're right. Absolutely!

Mercychen:
Why?

You think all men that married, married a wife? Sorry!

Most men didn't find a wife but a LovePeddler in disguise. That is why some will come into your life and everything will nose dive.

Forget. No time for lectures now.

There are 2 things this could likely mean..... Either you got married into a family that value their daughter so much and is ready to support her and her husband with good intentions, or u just got married to a lady who won't let you have your say in the marriage...... The defining moment will be the attitude of the girl towards u and your family.... If she runs to her family each time both of you have issues.... Forget it bro, u are yet to be married....... But if she is still submissive and humble, despite the fact that she came from a background wealthier than yours, then u have hit a jackpot and u should treat her right in every way

Susily:
With this your mentality, You'll stay single for a very long time
This I have seen

Can a blind man see?impossible.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

You'll be fine OP. Na love �

I just hope you're doing fine financially now.

Tonero5200:
The money her dad spent was really much .
I can't even make a correct calculations.

That's what's getting me worried, so that it won't lead to another thing.

It is the joy of the parents to witness the wedding of their sons and daughters, a minute silence was not observed for the mother or father of the bride, they are also using the opportunity to thank God that they have the resources to contribute meaningfully to their children's wedding.


Na so we dey roll for the West ooooo

U don't need to be worried , just love wife n give ur best in the marriage, it is ur wife that determine if this il become an issue or not, if she brings it up when there is a slight misunderstanding then it il become a problem, cus there is no marriage without it's own ups n downs, but if she is wise, she il keep it in d innermost part of the secret place of her mind or forget about it totally, bit all the same ve u gone to thank ur in- laws for their gesture? If not pls do, it il help ur wife to see that u appreciate what her parents did although it was not necessary, but go thank them.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

According to Yoruba rites if am not mistaken it’s the Bride’s family that takes care of guest the important thing is for the groom to provide the required things on the bridal list presented by the bride family including bride price ....so there’s no biggy just love ur wife and enjoy ur marriage

The Yōrùbás spend a lot especially if their daughters are getting married. You don't have to worry. It's their tradition. All my cousins were married to men from other tribes but their fam still ended up spending a lot during their weddings. It's no biggy to them

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

My brother just relax. As long as you paid all the traditional rites with your money, the rest are secondary. That is the original marriage the rest is beautification. Enjoy your marriage bro.

CryptoClub2018:
That is there way of expressing the joy of there daughter getting married. It has nothing to do with your marriage. Stop all this negative thinking and live your life

What if the OP is correct as regards his fears, what if his in-law starts to rub it to his face that he sponsored his wedding, you know that in this life nothing goes for nothing, it's a kind of give and take. Like "since I sponsored your wedding, I will now have to the taking the important decisions in your family. My consent is needed before you can do anything". Let's just pray the father in law is reasonable.

You are worried cos you not from the west...
See for Yoruba land na bride family dey do wedding ceremony pass..Dem dey long am like say tommorow no dey...
If your bride papa rich sef, he go even sponsor you go abroad...go do honeymoon... wetin concern you...just love their daughter that's all...
Happened to my cousin...her papa na rich man... sponsored most of the wedding shit...her hubby dey enjoy like mad...graduate wey no get job, was broke...don dey travel go US over 4 yrs now sponsored by my uncle....
Guy na that kind woman I dey find now ..woman wey her family hol wells...wey be say Dem ready do anything for both her and her husband...
Na that kind marriage you fit enter as a broke nigga...who cares about what people say ...na Dem Sabi...na Dem dey talk...na me dey enjoy

ye2hundhey:
According to Yoruba rites if am not mistaken it’s the Bride’s family that takes care of guest the important thing is for the groom to provide the required things on the bridal list presented by the bride family including bride price ....so there’s no biggy just love ur wife and enjoy ur marriage

But why wasn't I told directly

Raalsalghul:
Not always true!

Those are words of wisdom, and it is always true.

If not true, then he never findeth a wife, he only found mere house/bedmate.

No big deal there. I think its common amongst us Yoruba's. The best thing now is to love your wife. Also work hard, so you will have that opportunity to 'return the favour' someday.

She get younger sister wey never marry

If your bride is from the West, don't worry, they go all out for occasions. I know you are worried that the family won't use it against you in the future, something like "no be our papa sponsor your wedding".. Don't worry, it will never happen, what they did for you, they will do double for the next son in law, that's how they celebrate, HML ♥.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

You never even spend one week for your wedding you have been acting like this, creating problem where there is none, my prayers is with the girl, she married someone with low iq

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

let's wait for the day u re gonna have a little misunderstanding with her then shall we know what she is worth......

Tonero5200:
Hi.

e?

Guy,

The best thing you could ever have .you are now a part of the family. ..just be very good friends with her dad...and you have nothing to worry about.