₦airaland Forum

massinola:
I will be as brief as possible.
I recently opened a barbing salon shop. Within the area I opened this shop, there's this couple living there. The man does nothing for a living. He's a drunkard. The woman on the other hand sells black market fuel and oil to make ends meet.

They gave birth to 6 children (yes, you heard right). Since I entered that street, I noticed a serious domestic violence going on in that family. The man after drinking, uses his wife and children as punching bags. This is not occasionally. On a daily. I'm seriously disturbed. A little arguement and the man goes straight to the woman's fuel and oil and pours everything away.

Even when he's the one provoking the woman, he goes to the woman's properties and starts damaging everything.

The worst is that no body in the street says anything. They all say they are used to them.
I'm seriously disturbed because the man always threatens to pour fuel on the woman and set her ablaze always.

On many occasions, he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake.
People around always say he can't do it. On my side, I'm really disturbed, because I have seen where domestic violence caused a disaster. I fear that one day, the man might carry out his threats.

Today a serious fight broke out between the man and the wife. The man was beating the last born of the house that's just a year plus like a mad man. The wife couldn't bear it anymore and faced the man. He was beating all of them like animals. Looking for cutlass and 2by2 to use on them. People were passing and didn't even care. I couldn't bear it anymore. He was trying to smash the woman's phone on the main road. One small girl went to rescue the woman and the phone. The way this man flung the lady eeh, that was when I stepped in, collected the phone and told the man that if he tried touching the woman and the children again, I would bury him alive. I was very mad. I asked the woman what he's still doing with the man. Or is she waiting for people to carry her corpse before she flees for her life? The phone is still with me. I'm confused on what to do.

This man needs to be stopped before a disaster strikes. It's just a matter of time. I fear for the woman's life seriously.
What can I do to help the situation guys. I'm really disturbed.

Good job stepping in. Can you get the police involved? So you don't have to kill the animal yourself. God knows what i would have done...i think this is why i don't encounter things like this in my life. That animal deserves to be taken out!

emmanuelbrown26:
Eyaaaa, men dun tire toto finish, very soon na retired Ashawo u go cum bi.

Just like your mother right

Born2Breed:
You have done your best. Retreat before it's too late.

The stupid woman opened her leg for a drunkard to impregnate her 6x. Just watch as the 7th child comes in next year.

People like you end up making similar mistake because you can't reason properly. Why insulting the woman when you don't know there background, do you think the man was like that and the woman agreed to settle down with him?
Secondly you said the OP had done his best and should retreat. When did nairaland become women affairs commission? Rather than advise him to report the issue to an NGO handling cases of that nature your are indirectly threatening a man that is willing to help.

Can someone please tell me how to make a post in nairaland forum?

alizma:
People like you end up making similar mistake because you can't reason properly. Why insulting the woman when you don't know there background, do you think the man was like that and the woman agreed to settle down with him?
Secondly you said the OP had done his best and should retreat. When did nairaland become women affairs commission? Rather than advise him to report the issue to an NGO handling cases of that nature your are indirectly threatening a man that is willing to help.

You are replying to a coward.

Our women are not courageous enough to leave marriages due to domestic violence especially the uneducated and unestablished ones. if you involve your self you might regret it and they will use you settle. I can only do such for my siblings or very close relation or my favorite ex.

Curious345:
Men the girl na pure olosho. Lekki type.





Dangerous female..

I know her very well in one of events I coordinated sometime ago

massinola:
I will be as brief as possible.
I recently opened a barbing salon shop. Within the area I opened this shop, there's this couple living there. The man does nothing for a living. He's a drunkard. The woman on the other hand sells black market fuel and oil to make ends meet.

They gave birth to 6 children (yes, you heard right). Since I entered that street, I noticed a serious domestic violence going on in that family. The man after drinking, uses his wife and children as punching bags. This is not occasionally. On a daily. I'm seriously disturbed. A little arguement and the man goes straight to the woman's fuel and oil and pours everything away.

Even when he's the one provoking the woman, he goes to the woman's properties and starts damaging everything.

The worst is that no body in the street says anything. They all say they are used to them.
I'm seriously disturbed because the man always threatens to pour fuel on the woman and set her ablaze always.

On many occasions, he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake.
People around always say he can't do it. On my side, I'm really disturbed, because I have seen where domestic violence caused a disaster. I fear that one day, the man might carry out his threats.

Today a serious fight broke out between the man and the wife. The man was beating the last born of the house that's just a year plus like a mad man. The wife couldn't bear it anymore and faced the man. He was beating all of them like animals. Looking for cutlass and 2by2 to use on them. People were passing and didn't even care. I couldn't bear it anymore. He was trying to smash the woman's phone on the main road. One small girl went to rescue the woman and the phone. The way this man flung the lady eeh, that was when I stepped in, collected the phone and told the man that if he tried touching the woman and the children again, I would bury him alive. I was very mad. I asked the woman what he's still doing with the man. Or is she waiting for people to carry her corpse before she flees for her life? The phone is still with me. I'm confused on what to do.

This man needs to be stopped before a disaster strikes. It's just a matter of time. I fear for the woman's life seriously.
What can I do to help the situation guys. I'm really disturbed.

What state is this happening? I will share numbers for organisations that can help.

If possible make a video record of the man and post on social media
The viral video will touch the right agency of government

emmanuelbrown26:
I know her very well in one of events I coordinated sometime ago

Your know your mother very well . Not only a bastard and a coward but also a shameless liar. God forbid

I will advice that you delete yourself from the situation. Everybody says na husband and wife matter. Stay wise and excuse yourself out of it before the worst happens and your name gets roped in, at such a point you and others will wonder why you stepped in to begin with. The woman is providing for the family so the man has taken the position of the wife. At least it’s a two-parent household; things go dey alright unless the man goes too far one day.

Kholiwe:
Your know your mother very well . Not only a bastard and a coward but also a shameless liar. God forbid

I know u, at sandfill

emmanuelbrown26:
I know u, at sandfill

You know your mother at Sandfill . This is how niggas lie up and down Nairaland. So you are a Coward, Bastard and a liar too. What else you are probably a rapist too

I will say these according to ur write up

1. It pays to mind ur barbing salon business just as other people around there has been minding theirs.

2. u r probably not married so u won't understand marital challenges and d fact that all marriage has their own peculiar challenges
3. D man does nothing for a living and a drunkard is none of ur business, if u feel too concerned then u should set up something for the man to be doing
4. The number of children they have is not d cause of their marital challenges otherwise barren couple would be the happiest people on earth.
5. I understand that u r disturbed but if u r seriously Disturbed u would have called them both ,sat them down, try to find out their problem and councelled them on how to go forward.
6. U can't say for sure who is provoking who if u don't sit them down to find out, don't judge from one persons angle or outsiders angle.
7. In marriage there is nothing like a woman's property or a man's property. He is damaging their property and not the woman's property.
8. Yes no body in the street says anything simply because they r minding their business
9. If u really care genuinely about the woman's life about setti her ablaze, then u should sit them down and discuss/counsel them
10. he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake many times yet u don't care to know d reason? Am really smelling cover up at this stage. Am not saying these actions are right but am saying that if these really happened that anyone around them would have at least cared to know the reasons of their regular quarrels than keeping mute and be complaining online.
11. The man was beating his 1yr old like a mad man? And u did nothing? U cared only about a common phone?

massinola:
Serious advice needed please

Thank you all for the advice so far and ones still to come.
I understand some of your worries about my safety. Heart of a man is seriously wicked, that I know, but let's imagine what will happen the day this waiting time bomb will explode. I have seen some good advice here. I will try as much as possible to make a video of the incidence anytime it happens again. Take it to the local government, and report to the appropriate authority. I don't think my conscience will ever allow me continue my business that some people here are asking me to mind if I didn't do anything and something bad happens to this woman.
I'm not doing this for either the woman or her kids. I'm doing it because its the right thing to do, and for posterity. The woman out of ignorance may not appreciate my efforts, but God does. So, minding my business is out of the question

Eketem:
What state is this happening? I will share numbers for organisations that can help.

Enugu state Sir. Nsukka to be precise

First question is...... Is the woman ready to have him dealt with?

If yes, contact FIDA(International association of female lawyers), explain to them that its a life or death matter and they will help. That's if the woman cooperates with the prosecution of the case.

I don't know where you stay so, this is a link to the web page where you can get the contacts of the different state chapters.
Hope this helps.

https://fida.org.ng/branch-activities/

Just saw where you mentioned Nsukka. Here's the contact details for Enugu state

massinola:
I will be as brief as possible.
I recently opened a barbing salon shop. Within the area I opened this shop, there's this couple living there. The man does nothing for a living. He's a drunkard. The woman on the other hand sells black market fuel and oil to make ends meet.

They gave birth to 6 children (yes, you heard right). Since I entered that street, I noticed a serious domestic violence going on in that family. The man after drinking, uses his wife and children as punching bags. This is not occasionally. On a daily. I'm seriously disturbed. A little arguement and the man goes straight to the woman's fuel and oil and pours everything away.

Even when he's the one provoking the woman, he goes to the woman's properties and starts damaging everything.

The worst is that no body in the street says anything. They all say they are used to them.
I'm seriously disturbed because the man always threatens to pour fuel on the woman and set her ablaze always.

On many occasions, he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake.
People around always say he can't do it. On my side, I'm really disturbed, because I have seen where domestic violence caused a disaster. I fear that one day, the man might carry out his threats.

Today a serious fight broke out between the man and the wife. The man was beating the last born of the house that's just a year plus like a mad man. The wife couldn't bear it anymore and faced the man. He was beating all of them like animals. Looking for cutlass and 2by2 to use on them. People were passing and didn't even care. I couldn't bear it anymore. He was trying to smash the woman's phone on the main road. One small girl went to rescue the woman and the phone. The way this man flung the lady eeh, that was when I stepped in, collected the phone and told the man that if he tried touching the woman and the children again, I would bury him alive. I was very mad. I asked the woman what he's still doing with the man. Or is she waiting for people to carry her corpse before she flees for her life? The phone is still with me. I'm confused on what to do.

This man needs to be stopped before a disaster strikes. It's just a matter of time. I fear for the woman's life seriously.
What can I do to help the situation guys. I'm really disturbed.

What state do you reside?, If it's a state I know where cases like this treated I will give you concrete details on how to go about it. Pay no attention to anyone asking you to mind your business, since it's bothering you it's automatically your business

massinola:
I will be as brief as possible.
I recently opened a barbing salon shop. Within the area I opened this shop, there's this couple living there. The man does nothing for a living. He's a drunkard. The woman on the other hand sells black market fuel and oil to make ends meet.

They gave birth to 6 children (yes, you heard right). Since I entered that street, I noticed a serious domestic violence going on in that family. The man after drinking, uses his wife and children as punching bags. This is not occasionally. On a daily. I'm seriously disturbed. A little arguement and the man goes straight to the woman's fuel and oil and pours everything away.

Even when he's the one provoking the woman, he goes to the woman's properties and starts damaging everything.

The worst is that no body in the street says anything. They all say they are used to them.
I'm seriously disturbed because the man always threatens to pour fuel on the woman and set her ablaze always.

On many occasions, he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake.
People around always say he can't do it. On my side, I'm really disturbed, because I have seen where domestic violence caused a disaster. I fear that one day, the man might carry out his threats.

Today a serious fight broke out between the man and the wife. The man was beating the last born of the house that's just a year plus like a mad man. The wife couldn't bear it anymore and faced the man. He was beating all of them like animals. Looking for cutlass and 2by2 to use on them. People were passing and didn't even care. I couldn't bear it anymore. He was trying to smash the woman's phone on the main road. One small girl went to rescue the woman and the phone. The way this man flung the lady eeh, that was when I stepped in, collected the phone and told the man that if he tried touching the woman and the children again, I would bury him alive. I was very mad. I asked the woman what he's still doing with the man. Or is she waiting for people to carry her corpse before she flees for her life? The phone is still with me. I'm confused on what to do.

This man needs to be stopped before a disaster strikes. It's just a matter of time. I fear for the woman's life seriously.
What can I do to help the situation guys. I'm really disturbed.

I commend your humanity and sympathy, which is quite scarce these days. Ensure that the woman is ready for a change that may mean separation. Then, you may contact social welfare office or an NGO that handle such matter

Kelvinhunta:
I will say these according to ur write up

1. It pays to mind ur barbing salon business just as other people around there has been minding theirs.

2. u r probably not married so u won't understand marital challenges and d fact that all marriage has their own peculiar challenges
3. D man does nothing for a living and a drunkard is none of ur business, if u feel too concerned then u should set up something for the man to be doing
4. The number of children they have is not d cause of their marital challenges otherwise barren couple would be the happiest people on earth.
5. I understand that u r disturbed but if u r seriously Disturbed u would have called them both ,sat them down, try to find out their problem and councelled them on how to go forward.
6. U can't say for sure who is provoking who if u don't sit them down to find out, don't judge from one persons angle or outsiders angle.
7. In marriage there is nothing like a woman's property or a man's property. He is damaging their property and not the woman's property.
8. Yes no body in the street says anything simply because they r minding their business
9. If u really care genuinely about the woman's life about setti her ablaze, then u should sit them down and discuss/counsel them
10. he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake many times yet u don't care to know d reason? Am really smelling cover up at this stage. Am not saying these actions are right but am saying that if these really happened that anyone around them would have at least cared to know the reasons of their regular quarrels than keeping mute and be complaining online.
11. The man was beating his 1yr old like a mad man? And u did nothing? U cared only about a common phone?

We have toxic people here on nairaland. Just saw one of them. Gush!! How do some humans reason? For your mind, you have made sense. Very pathetic

ehix89:
What state do you reside?, If it's a state I know where cases like this treated I will give you concrete details on how to go about it. Pay no attention to anyone asking you to mind your business, since it's bothering you it's automatically your business

Enugu state

Capaldi:
Blame it on toxic masculinity and stupid traditional practices. Woman have no rights to leave toxic marriages cause of the stigma attached. No woman enjoys been beating.

It is the same for men.

If you watch Judge Judy, you will see husbands and wives taking each other to court over very trivial issues. I have even watched cases of mothers taking their own daughters to court over rent.

But in Nigeria, we consider it to be washing one's dirty linen outside.

Even involving police in a supposed family matter can create discord in the family. It doesn't matter whether it is the man or woman that is doing it. It has nothing to do with masculinity, but more to do with our culture.

I remembered using police to arrest an associate who was a fellow pastor when I was still pastoring. The man swindled me of some amount of money, and still went ahead to be threatening me via SMS.

On the day he was taken to the police station, our head pastor and some church council members came to the police station. They were so angry with my decision that none of them said hello to me.

Then, we had a PFN district meeting the next day, and the head pastor made his grievances known. His anger was that I disrespected him (as an elder) by bypassing him to go and involve the police. That I dragged the name of the district in the mud. He was not even concerned about the gravity of the offense of the pastor.

massinola:
We have toxic people here on nairaland. Just saw one of them. Gush!! How do some humans reason? For your mind, you have made sense. Very pathetic

Nairaland comment sections are cesspools of constant toxic nonsense.

Kelvinhunta:
I will say these according to ur write up

1. It pays to mind ur barbing salon business just as other people around there has been minding theirs.

2. u r probably not married so u won't understand marital challenges and d fact that all marriage has their own peculiar challenges
3. D man does nothing for a living and a drunkard is none of ur business, if u feel too concerned then u should set up something for the man to be doing
4. The number of children they have is not d cause of their marital challenges otherwise barren couple would be the happiest people on earth.
5. I understand that u r disturbed but if u r seriously Disturbed u would have called them both ,sat them down, try to find out their problem and councelled them on how to go forward.
6. U can't say for sure who is provoking who if u don't sit them down to find out, don't judge from one persons angle or outsiders angle.
7. In marriage there is nothing like a woman's property or a man's property. He is damaging their property and not the woman's property.
8. Yes no body in the street says anything simply because they r minding their business
9. If u really care genuinely about the woman's life about setti her ablaze, then u should sit them down and discuss/counsel them
10. he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake many times yet u don't care to know d reason? Am really smelling cover up at this stage. Am not saying these actions are right but am saying that if these really happened that anyone around them would have at least cared to know the reasons of their regular quarrels than keeping mute and be complaining online.
11. The man was beating his 1yr old like a mad man? And u did nothing? U cared only about a common phone?

You are mad!!!

addexx:
This is not a good advice

it doesn’t have to be good advice. It may just be the advice that preserves his life . I think that’s the most important thing. A lot of people have died interfering in matters like this. The woman involved should leave as well

Kholiwe:
Keep quiet. If you are a coward say so and keep shut.

Such mannerlessness.

The guy gave great advice.

BluntTheApostle:
It is the same for men.

If you watch Judge Judy, you will see husbands and wives taking each other to court over very trivial issues. I have even watched cases of mothers taking their own daughters to court over rent.

But in Nigeria, we consider it to be washing one's dirty linen outside.

Even involving police in a supposed family matter can create discord in the family. It doesn't matter whether it is the man or woman that is doing it. It has nothing to do with masculinity, but more to do with our culture.

I remembered using police to arrest an associate who was a fellow pastor when I was still pastoring. The man swindled me of some amount of money, and still went ahead to be threatening me via SMS.

On the day he was taken to the police station, our head pastor and some church council members came to the police station. They were so angry with my decision that none of them said hello to me.

Then, we had a PFN district meeting the next day, and the head pastor made his grievances known. His anger was that I disrespected him (as an elder) by bypassing him to go and involve the police. That I dragged the name of the district in the mud. He was not even concerned about the gravity of the offense of the pastor.

It's never the same for men. Men are not held to any accountability. This very man in this story can decide to leave the marriage one day and still proceed to marry 2 to 3 times over.

Kholiwe:
You know your mother at Sandfill . This is how niggas lie up and down Nairaland. So you are a Coward, Bastard and a liar too. What else you are probably a rapist too

The busstop at sandfill, hv u forgotten or should I bring evidence?

emmanuelbrown26:
The busstop at sandfill, hv u forgotten or should I bring evidence?

You meet your mother at Sandfill . Yes bring evidence of meeting your mother at Sandfill. This bastard will die today

Since it seems to be a usual occurrence, take a video of it and then put up on social media. Things like those seem to move Nigerians. Na that time we go know say we get agencies in charge of domestic violence.
Oh BTW, u have done well stepping in. Heaven's blessings

massinola:
We have toxic people here on nairaland. Just saw one of them. Gush!! How do some humans reason? For your mind, you have made sense. Very pathetic

Saw his post, but had to take great effort not to mention him. It's just terrible how some people process issues.

Capaldi:
It's never the same for men. Men are not held to any accountability. This very man in this story can decide to leave the marriage one day and still proceed to marry 2 to 3 times over.

Is that what is paining you?

Women enjoy a lot more benefits than men in every society, but we don't complain so much.

massinola:
I will be as brief as possible.
I recently opened a barbing salon shop. Within the area I opened this shop, there's this couple living there. The man does nothing for a living. He's a drunkard. The woman on the other hand sells black market fuel and oil to make ends meet.

They gave birth to 6 children (yes, you heard right). Since I entered that street, I noticed a serious domestic violence going on in that family. The man after drinking, uses his wife and children as punching bags. This is not occasionally. On a daily. I'm seriously disturbed. A little arguement and the man goes straight to the woman's fuel and oil and pours everything away.

Even when he's the one provoking the woman, he goes to the woman's properties and starts damaging everything.

The worst is that no body in the street says anything. They all say they are used to them.
I'm seriously disturbed because the man always threatens to pour fuel on the woman and set her ablaze always.

On many occasions, he carries huge sticks to kill the woman like a snake.
People around always say he can't do it. On my side, I'm really disturbed, because I have seen where domestic violence caused a disaster. I fear that one day, the man might carry out his threats.

Today a serious fight broke out between the man and the wife. The man was beating the last born of the house that's just a year plus like a mad man. The wife couldn't bear it anymore and faced the man. He was beating all of them like animals. Looking for cutlass and 2by2 to use on them. People were passing and didn't even care. I couldn't bear it anymore. He was trying to smash the woman's phone on the main road. One small girl went to rescue the woman and the phone. The way this man flung the lady eeh, that was when I stepped in, collected the phone and told the man that if he tried touching the woman and the children again, I would bury him alive. I was very mad. I asked the woman what he's still doing with the man. Or is she waiting for people to carry her corpse before she flees for her life? The phone is still with me. I'm confused on what to do.

This man needs to be stopped before a disaster strikes. It's just a matter of time. I fear for the woman's life seriously.
What can I do to help the situation guys. I'm really disturbed.

The question you should be asking is why the woman continues to stay with that useless man despite a threat to her life. Women and sadomasochism and sadomasochist, they are, you can complete it! You had better let her reap the consequences of her actions driven by emotions as you rescuing her will only get her back to the man and her vomit. There are consequences for actions we take especially ones driven by emotions. I won't be surprised if the woman is staying with that efulefu because of something as mundane as he has big gbola and gives her good and stupid love. You can't rule it out from these vagina people SMH.