SuperStriker:


That is what I don't want to do. I don't want to go to another woman but I am suffering...Sometimes I feel like I will tear my shirt and start running round the street when that pressure is too much

suffering:
Polygamy for solve your issue long ago.

airminem:
Good wife...
Just control yourself husband o! Cos if na her body need am always like your body, na so so soo tiredness & stress you go dey form.

Let your woman be the remote control to activating sex. Na you go enjoy am pass aswear.

Ladycewhy:
You go help am raise the children that comes with polygamy?

Or you nor know how much for gas now?

Asour:
Wow!
So religious counseling is bullsh t?
But secular counseling is effective / glorious?
What I've said is that no human words (AKA Counselors counsel) is potent enough to change someone who is unprepared.
Now religion / related practices aren't always done correctly . But when correctly done (especially around here) can be more effective because it appeals to a higher calling in us. The counselled is more likely committed to this higher calling (as an adherent of such a religion) . It is this commitment to counsel that I refer to as preparedness and no words (of counsel) can change the unprepared.

Originalsly:
What is your demand?... 5 times a day? ... as often as you get erection? Your demand is likely not normal. If that's the case then you should've chosen a nympho for a wife. What if your wife meets your demand and gets used to having sex 4 times or whatever a day ... and the time comes when you are unable to maintain ... but she wants it ... what will you say to her? .... wouldn't it be the same she is saying to you? ...you need to control yourself? Again ... your demand may be unreasonable..... selfish ... inconsiderate.

Eagle360:
You will adapt with time.
It seems you just get married
Responsibility self never hit you, wey you go lose appetite for sex
My own if we had sex on Monday and on Thursday I made approach, she will remind me that we just had sex on Monday, that how many time are we going to be having sex in a week
Even during lockdown that I suppose to be enter without restrictions, complain too much.
She is lazy in sex and I accept her like that, cheating is not an option for me. I love my wife

slimjohn2k5:


You are wrong bro. You cannot just go and meet Ur wife to open leg because your penis stand.

You need to make her happy and put her in the mood. I was thinking like you till I found my way out and I am happy with it

Kobojunkie:
That statement in bold is testament to your lack of understanding as far the job of a Counselor, I am afraid.

As I already explained. A Counselor is simply a coach to help guide a couple through steps to helping them resolve issues in their marriage... the counselor does not offer or know magic words to fix any marriage. Instead he helps the couple apply, for example, known conflict resolution techniques in resolving issues in their relationship.

There is no such thing as correctly done religion related counseling because it is all bullsheet to begin with. For instance, Jesus Christ never sent any of His own to go out to counsel people in His name, so anyone who attempts such an act in His name sins against God. What you call a higher calling is instead nothing but a sin against God.

So when a person who lacks professional certification installs himself as a religious counselor, he is no different from anyone of the street to those he counsels.

Kobojunkie:
So because he paid bride price means he shouldn't do anything else for his marriage?

Iyaebe:
See a redpiller up there emphasizing on how he loves sex and can't do without it and his women are aware but on their silly thread all of them will be behaving like they will live the rest of their life without women.They condemn what they love so as to appear hard,is that not hypocrisy?

Iyaebe:
Have you heard of counselling junkie? work on your mindset

slimjohn2k5:
Bro, u are not alone. I beg my wife all the time for sex.

Sometimes she said I always ask at the wrong always, she is tired, etc

I have accepted my faith but what I do to get her now is doing somethings she is supposed to do like washing the toilet, I take professional exams, show her result I passed, when she is happy I asked for sex as the reward.

I buy very cheap things that make her happy and ask for sex as reward. I said cheap things like bolé and groundnut, corn, watermelon etc

Just find a spicing point, I feel they need a little tickle

Some of us are unmarried n do not understand what happens there. This is the reason marriages are crashing. Some see women as sexual tool, so when they see these resistance they say the woman is bad.

At least op was having sex before it stopped, y not ask him what changed. When he was enjoying it we did not know till the place lock

Asour:
Human counselors with human 'Wisdom' are limited greatly.

I've seen cases in the western world were counselors 'advised' a couple to — when all else failed — pursue separation.

In [Malachi 2:16] it's clear that God hates divorce.
My point about 'religoius' counsel isn't about certification. It's about Godly counsel. To christians, God's word is the ultimate counsel. Not some placebo ideology by some 'certified' therapist — that may or may not be right with God.
Cheers.

Arsenate:

Not really. Perfectly fine helping out at home when one should and it's nice to get one's spouse gifts. He however shouldn't do those things because he anticipates sex as a reward.

slimjohn2k5:
Bro, u are not alone. I beg my wife all the time for sex.

Sometimes she said I always ask at the wrong always, she is tired, etc

I have accepted my faith but what I do to get her now is doing somethings she is supposed to do like washing the toilet, I take professional exams, show her result I passed, when she is happy I asked for sex as the reward.

I buy very cheap things that make her happy and ask for sex as reward. I said cheap things like bolé and groundnut, corn, watermelon etc

Just find a spicing point, I feel they need a little tickle

Some of us are unmarried n do not understand what happens there. This is the reason marriages are crashing. Some see women as sexual tool, so when they see these resistance they say the woman is bad.

At least op was having sex before it stopped, y not ask him what changed. When he was enjoying it we did not know till the place lock

pappilo:
I used to be married and suffered from the same issue.

We lived together for like 2 years before marriage and we had a fantastic sex life. Almost immediately after we got married, sex life stopped being great but it wasn't bad. After the first baby, it deteriorated a bit more. It was like going to work when we tried for a second baby i.e. wake me up from sleep to have sex with the sole purpose of conceiving having calculated her fertile days.

After 2nd baby, sex dried up. I tried to reason with her on a few occasions but all to no avail so I eventually looked outside and never looked back. I lost interest in her totally and the outcome was divorce.

I honestly think this refusal of sex thing has something to do with how comfortable a woman gets. When you get married, they know you are stuck with them and either consciously or subconsciously, start to withdraw their sexual services.

Now I have like 6 girls I am running concurrently (God forgive me) and the one that came closest to refusing me sex is the one I let live with me for a bit. The rest wey na come and go, dey gimme steady sungbàlaja. Even when dem dry, we go use lube. I quick wake up from my slumber pursue the one wey wan turn landlady for house.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. At my big age? Never Again will I let any woman run format on my head!

ednut1:
For many women they married cos of pressure not because they wanted to. Send her packing

Kobojunkie:
That is also a myth. In this day and age where information is literally in the palm of our hands, you can visit knowledge based in order to dispel of those useless myths which hinder you from clearly seeing and processing what is in front of you as you ought to

Kobojunkie:
Human wisdom is not at all perfect but it is better than no wisdom at all.

Telling couples to maybe pursue separation in the case that said couple refuses to work with each other to resolve the issues in the marriage makes better sense than letting them maybe kill each other inthe marriage, don't you think?

Malachi is not God's message to Christians.

Instead, the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, written in the 4 Gospels is instead God's Law , Jesus Christ, in the Kingdom of God. There God makes it know that marriage is as He ruled in the beginning and divorce is only allowed in in case of fornication- Matthew 19 vs 1 - 15, other than that , marriage is of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 37 implying that the same rules govern everyone in the Kingdom of God - no exemptions or special rules for the married exists.

As far as Christians in marriage, there are no special relationship rules and no one assigned to counsel anyone in the name of God.

Asour:


"Counseling. Counseling. Counseling. Don't go religious"

So you guys say. But relationship counseling is not an exact science! The variables in human relationships are not modellable & human behaviour/responses are extremely complex.

The tendency to reduce relationship problems to Therapy & counseling without faith is Pretentious!

No Human words is potent enough to change the unprepared.

TundeWX:

Funny enough this goes on in 80% of marital homes but nobody wanna talk.
Try parading ur gbola around the house more often..lol

Jus joking o ,maybe the next person has something better to say

Kobojunkie:
That wasn't what I got from reading that comment at all.

SuperStriker:


That is what I don't want to do. I don't want to go to another woman but I am suffering...Sometimes I feel like I will tear my shirt and start running round the street when that pressure is too much

suffering:
Firewood sure pass.

Arieljay:
[

The devil is trying to create problem in your home through your wife,get on your knees,seek for counseling with your wife,have an open discussion with your wife,report the issue to a trusted God fearing family friend or member, cheating ain't the solution,goodluck!!life no balance quote author=SuperStriker post=107773729]

yak:


Counseling isn't about changing a person rather it is intended to help a willing counselee.
I was raised in a very Religious Circle and I appreciate that but my experience is that beyond the religiousity, there's a place for professionalism. Fortunately, there are some counselors who are using a blend of both Religion and professionalism....
I know of a certain Pastor Okobasi.

Asour:



Malachi is not God's Word to Christians. Haha.

Meanwhile Christ reiterated this same God's displeasure for divorce in Matthew 19:8.
Telling them how divorce was borne out of hardness of heart & was not so in the 'beginning' (Old testament).

Secondly, how can fornication be a good reason for divorce when the parties are married.
Hello? Fornication is an affair between unmarried parties. Make it make sense. You seem not to get what was explained there.

Thirdly how many marriages am I 'allowed' to divorce when we can't 'work things out'? 2, 3 or 4.
Basic statistics on divorces has shown us that divorces are increasingly frequent after the first divorce (2nd marriage & above).

My point is that for health & scientific /Professional endeavours 'Professionals' are great — where we are dealing with exact sciences & measurable variables but human relationships are not exact sciences. They are dynamic & complex.
You or my advice can be as effective or more than a
'Professional' therapist, whatever that means.
Professional therapy in marriage is a Cashout industry where couples don't have accountable elders.

Even 'great' pastors can fail let alone some marriage therapist who has the same probability of failing in marriage as the average Joe.

May God help us.