MufasaLion:
Vasectomy needs more awareness. Most men don't understand how it is and most people don't even know it exist. You just gotta talk to him and explain things to him. Most people believes family planning is only done to the females.

Moreover, ego is among the reasons he kicks against vasectomy. An average African man wouldn't want to live his life knowing his semen is useless.

Dreadshy:
What is sauce for the goose is also good for the gander... tie up your tubes if you dont want more kids, simple. Trouble will end, relationship restored

Mercychen:


Exactly!
God bless you.

AdaSunshine:
Your terms and conditions are just simply too much, a huge turn off.

-Don't you think that is too much of a sacrifice to ask of someone you're not married to?

-Do you think you're worth that sacrifice?
Why would ask someone to give up their fertility?
- Isn't that selfish of you?

-Will you be ready to take the blame later in future?
If I were the guy, I'd take that as a red flag.
I'd be the one to opt out.

Mercychen:


Exactly!
God bless you.



You know with the female family planning comes a lot of risk and issues of mismatch or even failure which leads to unwanted pregnancies. While the male type is safer and with less risks.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I deliver into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreey with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me but can have more else where or is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Dreadshy:
What is sauce for the goose is also good for the gander... tie up your tubes if you dont want more kids, simple. Trouble will end, relationship restored

Justbehave:
Yes opt out already before you destroy the life of an innocent man.

We have to hold u.. U don't have to say anything anymore..This one u have said is enough

Mercychen:


Exactly!
God bless you.



You know with the female family planning comes a lot of risk and issues of mismatch or even failure which leads to unwanted pregnancies. While the male type is safer and with less risks.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I deliver into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreey with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me but can have more else where or is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Well.......i’d do the same
Stop being selfish......u was so firm with not tempering with your own body system......but u wanna see him do exactly what u couldn’t do against yo body........

Like.....u want his scrotum cut and the spermaduct tied

Is that process irreversible??
Weren’t u the one.....dat brought advice of having just one childwhy then r u still shying away from the process yourself??

Repent and stop being evil!!!

Michelle55:
You didn't even suggest two kids but one, e be like dem dey worry you. You think being an only child is fun, come to me for classes as to know how I feel most times being an only child myself .

capnies:


THIS IS NOT TRUE JUST A SLIGHT TWIST TO. THE UTERUS IS ENOUGH TO STOP PREGNANCY FOREVER.

Dreadshy:
yes but this issue doesnt have to be about only him. You guys have to play as a team and not ask him to do a procedure that will stop him from having kids apart from the one you will give birth to. You can use female condoms, contraceptive pills, IUD's etc. He can do male condoms, withrdrawal methods and observe your safe periods.

Kobojunkie:
What is wrong with wanting just one kid?

Must all your kids friends and companions come from the same sac and womb?

Mariangeles:
One of the best thing you can do for your child is to give him or her at least one sibling.

Kobojunkie:
What is wrong with wanting just one kid?

Must all your kids friends and companions come from the same sac and womb?

Michelle55:
Kindly have one kid if you so desire but never impose such a decision on someone else, it should be a mutual and collective idea to have just a kid when it comes to building a family thereby giving room for readjustment when the need calls for it.

This is a red flag already and I guess the dude isn't cool with it either. Who builds a relationship on conditions such as this?

Kobojunkie:
the dude isn't cool but he agreed to it?

Grudgingly and you called that an agreement?
Kobo, biko leave me

Michelle55:

Grudgingly and you called that an agreement?
Kobo, biko leave me

Kobojunkie:
Is he not an adult and a part of the relationship. Why grudgingly agree to such a thing?

Michelle55:
Perhaps to get something that she isn't aware of, the truth is it's not advisable to be in a relationship with someone with whom you are not on the same page wholeheartedly.

She has already shot herself in the foot by dishing out her selfish conditions without hearing from the guy if that's what he wants or not. If she had let things flow between them the issue of kids wouldn't have put a dent in the so-called relationship.

How well did she know the guy before laying out such conditions? Did she find time to ask him how many kids he desires to have?

Why is she insisting that he should get the vasectomy? I believe there are different methods of family planning suitable for both gender, why didn't she explore the ones meant for women since it's her idea to have one child?

Kobojunkie:
Why do you assume assume shot herself in the foot through. I mean if I am in a relationship and I want one and only one kid, what is selfish about making that known to my partner?

From what she relayed, things were already flowing between them - he even called her "darling" - before she made her intentions known. Was she supposed to maybe wait till the night before their wedding to get it out or something? I mean when exactly will be more appropriate to let you partner know of a thing like this?

Well, they were having the conversation so he revealed what he wanted and she said what she preferred and argued for it. Isn't that how you reach agreements in any relationship?

What is wrong with a vasectomy? I read somewhere that the cost is around N 100,000 and it is reversible with less side-effects. What other family planning method comes close for couples who are serious and in it for the long haul?

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I deliver into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreey with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me but can have more else where or is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?