₦airaland Forum

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Listen carefully

When you are desperate for something, you will overlook red flags. Right now, you're consumed with your timeline. Thread carefully

Another thing is you barely know him. The best way to know a person is to see how they behave when the going gets tough. You haven't seen that side of him yet

I will give you one warning sign. It seems to be that you can't communicate with him freely. That right there has been the beginning of the end of many marriages

The best thing for you to do is to not be desperate. If you communicating your concerns about your marriage timeline will put him off, let him go. You're not compatible

ngoziwrites:
The reference to the hotel part is to let you know he didn't want me to come to his house. He said it's the first time and he can't allow a girl come over. I stayed 3 days and the third night, we went to the house, stayed a bit and went back to the hotel.

I also paid 25k for one night. That's to show he didn't pay alone. Also the food and drinks, he didn't buy it all. I paid too.

So which money is attracting me. I am not the flashy girl. I would rather spend my money on investment. So, if a man is rich. He is rich for his future and his kids. It won't make me reduce my hustle.

I do not ask men for money... That's how I am. Just mean well for me.

So, pls drop the money attracted u stuff. I have never had a guy buying clothes, wigs, bags, shoes etc for me. So, I can't relate to all that.

That's only to show that he is financially stable. Cos I know some people here would keep asking do u know if he is financially capable. Now, that they know, they turned tables around and call me desperate.

I never in my write up said I brought up marriage discussions with him. I only want to know if it's on his mind. Is he considering it? Because I am.



So what's the big deal here?

I am sorry if i misjudged. Your emphasis on the 25k made me wonder. Sure i can totally tell you 85 % of Nigerian ladies are after money. Love is the greatness scam. I was a victim. My ex wrecked my business worth millions because she was only attracted to the money. Hence my theory. Its good to see you work on your own to make your own and not be a liability to any man.

I just don't want to see you feel all these is a prerequisite to finding a Loving partner.. Search deeper before you commit though.people show you what they know you want to see in other to achieve their goals. I don too speak English for today...

Yadid:
Red flags are all over the place, but it looks like you are so into him you are willing to overlook them. You need to take things slow here

Na the money dey cash am...if the guy wasn't doing well I'm sure she wouldn't have even answered him again after the first date.

The only way to know is to ask.

If you can sleep with him then you definitely can ask him when he wants to get married.

stacyadams:
them don ravage this one Toto for 25k per room hotel cos the guy get two cars and sell trucks and his a land lord...mosdii come and tell her

lol, baba nah real player. She don fall line, hook and sinker.

ngoziwrites:
Thank you! These are exactly things I want to talk about. His and my plan. Our goals. Our interests. Our values etc.

But we just don't.....

Forget this guy and look for someone else. You will not get this advise a second time.

Yadid:
Red flags are all over the place, but it looks like you are so into him you are willing to overlook them. You need to take things slow here

What red flags did you see?

NovesaTillie:
Well as an experienced lady I will tell you for free that he's not interested in settling down.

And if he wants, he would want to settle with someone who is less financially stable.

Exactly what I was thinking. Some of these rich men are looking for women who they can control

ngoziwrites:
... I mentioned those things he has just to let u all know he is financially ready. So that part is out. I have never asked him for ordinary 1k and I don't intend. I make my own money. I only want someone with sense.

As another comment mentioned, rich men like him sometimes look for women who are less financially stable. They look for women they can control and manipulate because they feel insecure

You being financially stable may be actually be a bad thing for him. Another thing to consider

Fiscus105:
That's biggest mistake most ladies do make, even if you are 19, that doesn't stop you to ask about some vital information which will affect you now or in future,madam you are open ur legs for a guy in which it will affect u positive or negatively yet u scare to ask him where ur journey with him is heading to, aunty, you shouldn't shy or fear to ask the question o,


Thou the problems of you girls are that wen u meet well to do or handsome guy, you would completely wet that you wouldn't remember to seek vital information, its after 2 kids you would start fighting (its olosho who doesnt need vital information about guy who wnt to carry him)

Tell her o. I don't understand how people start having sex before even figuring out if they're compatible

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Lol....anyway you can port, I am currently available with full options

ngoziwrites:
The reference to the hotel part is to let you know he didn't want me to come to his house. He said it's the first time and he can't allow a girl come over. I stayed 3 days and the third night, we went to the house, stayed a bit and went back to the hotel.

I also paid 25k for one night. That's to show he didn't pay alone. Also the food and drinks, he didn't buy it all. I paid too.

So which money is attracting me. I am not the flashy girl. I would rather spend my money on investment. So, if a man is rich. He is rich for his future and his kids. It won't make me reduce my hustle.

I do not ask men for money... That's how I am. Just mean well for me.

So, pls drop the money attracted u stuff. I have never had a guy buying clothes, wigs, bags, shoes etc for me. So, I can't relate to all that.

That's only to show that he is financially stable. Cos I know some people here would keep asking do u know if he is financially capable. Now, that they know, they turned tables around and call me desperate.

I never in my write up said I brought up marriage discussions with him. I only want to know if it's on his mind. Is he considering it? Because I am.

So what's the big deal here?

A guy with well furnished apartment still paying heavily for hotel accommodation in same town of residence? Yet u lacked courage to come out truth and tell him is being wasteful financially? By paying 25k doesn't make u a surportive partner o but co-extravagant.

I insist, u fell for his bank accounts and achievements. U ask urself if its a guy who is earning 120k or less with no car,will you be soft like this for him? If NO, pls know at back of ur mind that you are selling urself into slavery.


(Let me give u a coded trick, try to open another Facebook account with different name and pics of a beautiful lady, chat him up and try deduce his mind from it, having known him already will help u to get to logical conclusion of ur choice.)

ngoziwrites:
The reference to the hotel part is to let you know he didn't want me to come to his house. He said it's the first time and he can't allow a girl come over. I stayed 3 days and the third night, we went to the house, stayed a bit and went back to the hotel.

I also paid 25k for one night. That's to show he didn't pay alone. Also the food and drinks, he didn't buy it all. I paid too.

So which money is attracting me. I am not the flashy girl. I would rather spend my money on investment. So, if a man is rich. He is rich for his future and his kids. It won't make me reduce my hustle.

I do not ask men for money... That's how I am. Just mean well for me.

So, pls drop the money attracted u stuff. I have never had a guy buying clothes, wigs, bags, shoes etc for me. So, I can't relate to all that.

That's only to show that he is financially stable. Cos I know some people here would keep asking do u know if he is financially capable. Now, that they know, they turned tables around and call me desperate.

I never in my write up said I brought up marriage discussions with him. I only want to know if it's on his mind. Is he considering it? Because I am.

So what's the big deal here?

Abeg don't stress yourself explaining to frustrated boys on nairaland who are angry that the girls they toasted did not respond to them because they don't have money. It's not your fault that they don't have.

You mentioned other reasons but they chose to pick at the one they can use to insult you and feel better about their condition. They should channel their anger to Buhari.

You are a hardworking lady in your own right and there is nothing wrong in checking the financial capacity of a man before thinking of starting a family with him.

ngoziwrites:
Why don't you use your head? Just pause and think. So, if I have people doing well and asking me out. I am supposed to go for the least person? Where is your sense? Keep glorifying rubbish.

I will go for someone sensible, responsible, hardworking.... I am not doing bad myself. So don't shame people if they go for others in their clique.

Of cos when I was less than 25, I gloriously dated struggling guys. If the relationship had worked, we would still be together.

But at 25, I am not looking to date someone who hasn't found a path yet. You could even be at the bottom, just have something sustainable and of cos, I am coming with a lot to the table.

you're even gloating.. lol. No worry.. pride goeth before the fall. Remember that. You sound like a very proud human being. I wish you good luck.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

he managed his father business where he sold trucks and trailers, a landlord in his father's house you don't know the address, he prick ur pussy three good nights in a hotel room cos his house was hot. Probably he is a Yahoo boy.
Sis you be mumu @26 shame on u

Nicepoker:
I pity that guy.

Or the girl rather.

Young lady you are romancing with an advanced jigolo, he has really twisted your brain to the extent that you want to send him gift (money) without knowing his family. What they adopt in Akure here is that they rent cars from dealers to entice ladies with fat pockets though they initially pretend as if they are not after your money. Young lady the guy has your data before you even met him.

timisquare82:
Young lady you are romancing with an advanced jigolo, he has really twisted your brain to the extent that you want to send him gift (money) without knowing his family. What they adopt in Akure here is that they rent cars from dealers to entice ladies with fat pockets though they initially pretend as if they are not after your money. Young lady the guy has your data before you even met him.

.
I'm really sorry for this girl. Honestly. That guy gonna play her big time. She really needs an experienced guy to guide her. And funny enough I know this lady. She's just a good down to earth girl. But relationship sense, she no get

PennywysCares:
he managed his father business where he sold trucks and trailers, a landlord in his father's house you don't know the address, he prick ur pussy three good nights in a hotel room cos his house was hot. Probably he is a Yahoo boy.
Sis you be mumu @26 shame on u

..
This alone is enough redflag for the gal to calm down....

.......

SarutobiEky:
you're even gloating.. lol. No worry.. pride goeth before the fall. Remember that. You sound like a very proud human being. I wish you good luck.

I am not proud. It's so easy for you to hurl insult at someone and call them desperate..

Kuriosmynd:
.
I'm really sorry for this girl. Honestly. That guy gonna play her big time. She really needs an experienced guy to guide her. And funny enough I know this lady. She's just a good down to earth girl. But relationship sense, she no get

���

A GIRL IS SEEN A RED FLAG AND SHE IS STILL CONFUSED

Must friendship end in marriage....you better don't scare him away with that your marriage plans.

Just be enjoying what you're enjoying without stressing him.

Why don’t I jam these type of women so I’ll enjoy their kpekus while searching for the next candidate? Why are some men so lucky?

Ladies and marriage are 5&6

I'm not seen your relationship work well

ngoziwrites:
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

Suggest a live in relationship and he will accept. With time, you guys will get married. He doesn't trust women.

Forget having a wedding initially. If you can't do without having a wedding, just move on.

suffering:
Why don’t I jam these type of women so I’ll enjoy their kpekus while searching for the next candidate? Why are some men so lucky?

Lucky? Hope u read the guy is well to do? If you are well to do person, so many opportunities will be opened to you, relationship advantages not excluded.

ngoziwrites:
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

He just wants you around. You need to plan your life with someone that reasons like you.

I see nothing bad in you wanting to settle down. Just do it with the right person.

Love is not blind. It has eyes. Cheers.