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I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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"We Need Marriage But Men Are Scared To Come"... Pretty Lawyer / Ladies, No Matter How Hot A Nigerian Guy Is, Never Ask Him Out / My Ex Girlfriend Is Happily Getting Married.help!! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by suffering: 9:02am On Dec 08, 2021
Fiscus105:



Lucky? Hope u read the guy is well to do? If you are well to do person, so many opportunity will be opened to you, relationship not excluded.
Let me continue focusing on making money then. I don tire for these undecided females.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Loveganipedro(m): 9:02am On Dec 08, 2021
[color=#990000][/color]

I'm ready!
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Righteousness2(m): 9:03am On Dec 08, 2021
Let me tell you a Bitter truth!

The Moment you open your legs for a Real man, there is a very high probability that you are added to the number.

If you stick to Righteousness, Godliness and Holiness in your relationship, you get his respect. If He likes you, he will fight to get you.

Sex is everywhere! Real men are looking out for decent ladies that will not fall cheaply .

7 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Mom007(f): 9:03am On Dec 08, 2021
Sis, ghost that guy for a month and see the signals he throws out. A lot of times, the answer to our questions are just in our faces but we never see them. Relationship stage is a stage when the mans feelings are supposed to be hotter and fiercer than the woman's. In other words, he should be chasing you, not the other way around. It seems you are the one still doing the chasing. This should not be. You sound like a nice kindhearted lady. Don't make the mistake of forcing yourself into somewhere you are not wanted or appreciated. I believe you are a christian, Whatever happened to praying and asking God if a person is the one for you sef Abi am I old school? Anyway, I wish you the best.

9 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by tuboi: 9:03am On Dec 08, 2021
Theirs somebody definitely loving you helplessly but you’re probably not paying attention because of your high income…So many red flags popping up and you still need advice….…Call that guy wey dey mumu follow you and marry him b4 it’s too late my dear grin grin grin grin grin grin grin….if I Dey earn 450k as a lady, Na me go marry my husband and establish him…

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by safarigirl(f): 9:03am On Dec 08, 2021
You're making 450k and you're looking for how to hustle man into marriage when you're not even up to 26? Na wa ọ

This man is not ready for marriage, he just dey whine you, but you're clearly eager about getting married, hence some of these things in your write-up.

He is responsible financially and allegedly has sense does not mean he is looking for marriage, and possibly not with you. Somebody is showing you his cards and you dey unlook, when he plays it, you will say you did not see it coming.

Better face your work and follow the oga to catch cruise jejely, no too reason marriage for him side. If it is marriage you really want, explore other options because this guy is not ready and will not be ready in 2 years, no matter how many excuses you want to make for him.

9 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Johncuppa(m): 9:04am On Dec 08, 2021
Men of purpose and destiny are married to their visions, dreams and aspiration.
They are almost statisfied with their assignments that barely anything have their time any more, except that some things are necessities of life, part of which marriage is.

Howbeit, nothing, absolutely nothing moves them - gift, love talk, position ( talk of anything), they have just being captivated with the life they are projecting - how to be more.

They are principle men, they hardly need anything from anyone but can be anything to anyone

If you meet such, you are a wonder
Grab him, don't let him go, but also respect his principles ( mostly introvertion).
They don't want to be disturbed, need no outside world to be happy.

Your gift does nothing to them. They are just satisfied from within.

Sis. Give him time.
He will sure make a wonderful husband.
You are not too old to marry.
Don't rush into a marriage that will later make your life a miserable.

7 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Yankeeboy02: 9:04am On Dec 08, 2021
With your narration, the guy is not ready even 5years to come, don’t let the guy use oooo, eat your body, chop ur money, and leave u helpless at the end of the road....my candid advise........JAPA! JAPA!!

3 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Omniman(m): 9:05am On Dec 08, 2021
Average guy doesnt decide until 35years
cool
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Mom007(f): 9:05am On Dec 08, 2021
LadyD22:


When Satan sees that you're becoming desperate to settle down , he will package his favorite cousin for you , I am in no place to advice you or say anything , but I think you shouldn't really rush it , marriage is a serious thing , two months is too short , and about him doing well , you've not heard of ppl forging things and even identities ?
For him to avoid taking you to his place , it might be he doesn't trust you , he's married or his living condition is not something to brag about grin ,

For him to ask you that question , it feels like he's trying to discourage you from getting any ideas , ( which has already happened).
I think you should ask him first , no matter how hard it is , you should do it now and get it over with , its better you know your place now , than for you to put all your eggs in one basket thinking you found yourself a boat.
The idea of settling down early sounds nice but don't let it tempt you into desperation , and find yourself in the wrong hands , peace of mind over everything
Good luck
I'm telling you sis. I'm pretty sure dude is married. 6months kor, 600years ni.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Miarose: 9:06am On Dec 08, 2021
You sound really inexperienced.. You need to date more, have more male ftiends, just to gain more understanding of how men think. This one is very clear that you are not even his girlfriend talk more of future wife. And don't set urself up by waiting for a man... Please... It rarely ends well..
ngoziwrites:
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

7 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by toffyz(m): 9:07am On Dec 08, 2021
stacyadams:
grin them don ravage this one Toto for 25k per room hotel cos the guy get two cars and sell trucks and his a land lord...mosdii come and tell her
The guy could be a scammer
He knew the lady has a good work, and earned well. He's into her because of that.
The guy seems a gold digger.
He's obviously after the lady's money.
The red flags are:
Sharing to pay the hotel lodge
Not allowing her to know his place
A relationship of just 2 months, and the guy has told her so much about his family wealth.(which I assume is fake)
Na confirm player

8 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by federal9: 9:08am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.



You are a thief!!!

It might me that you Earn 45k and you changed it to 450k.

You think I don't know.... Haha...



People can lie.


Just because you know he controls his family business and you acted so cheap by saying YES!!!!!


He now knows you are cheap that's why he told you nothing about marriage till after 6 months.


He is gonna dump you like others.


I hope you have not done raw sex with him

Hahahha


Go for test oooo
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by nnadychuks(m): 9:09am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.


there’s one thing about guys… if he laughs when his friends are getting married, it’s a sign he’s jealous and wishes one for himself too, but unfortunately he thinks he needs to be rich first.
He wants to get married, but he hasn’t got the balls. Make him realize what he’s missing as a bachelor.

If He manages his family business, that means he’s coolheaded and loyal. But you can’t blame him now, his family business is not something he’d like to base his own family on.
He needs other investments to at least feel like a man, but you wouldn’t understand and I don’t blame you.

He might want a full housewife for himself, but can he provide for your needs, considering you earn 450k now?
He loves you, but doesn’t want you to suffer
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by 77up(m): 9:09am On Dec 08, 2021
ejitest1:
Give me your contact let's start something serious, I want to marry as soon as possible.

her 450k monthly don enter your head grin


Long throat, contact kee you dia cheesy

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by dominique(f): 9:10am On Dec 08, 2021
The relationship is only 2 months old, as you're studying him, he's also studying you. Two months is too early to start expecting a defined relationship or total commitment from your partner. Keep the natural conversation flowing, you can subtly insert your marriage goals in your conversations from time to time. Within 6-8 months of the relationship, you should know by them where the relationship is going. Keep your options open, don't make him your last bus stop yet.

7 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by jaxxy(m): 9:11am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.



The only gal a man rushes to get married to is the one that has value beyond sex and birthing kids. The one he sees he can build his dreams with not the one who just want to get married to so she can be a baby factory and become an added burden for him to carry like dead weight. Be it financial or emotional burden.

If A man want babies he can have a baby mama easily. No sensible ambitious man will marrying dead weight that will only make things harder or heavier for him to achieve in a hurry.

There’s nothing wrong with what ur asking for the question is are u compatible?? This guy clearly has an ambition and he doesn’t want marriage to be an unnecessary or even necessary obstacle.

It’s good ur earning a decent paycheck and even trying to start a business I’m sure he notices bt it’s not enough cos many women change drastically once they are married. They fill life has been fulfilled and nothing more to look for. Just having sex and pushing out babies and increasing the bills. That average mindset can cause problems for certain men.

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Dreytonisback(m): 9:11am On Dec 08, 2021
I only spill facts bc I think deep ...


That guy doesn't have marriage plans for the next 4yrs
You'll tell him you love him and he'll not reply "sometimes"

That's deeper than you think , giving you attention means nothing bc it's your right

Listen banny : Desperation kills more than buhari's regime
Kills more than cigarettes
You like him more than he likes you , that's a red flag
Or are you ugly?
From your write up you don't wanna get involved with a golddigger and not just a player

Here's my advise for you ..... If you like

You have money abi? Get a visa to either Europe or America not Asia oo
Europe or America

You'll meet so many guys there who are very responsible looking for African women to marry , your 450k salary won't matter to them bc they earn in euros and pounds
Don't get carried away with good fvck and big preek
That isn't your man and if you doubt me , go ahead and push on with him then reply me here next year by (May) and call me a bastard .


P.S: don't give your details to anyone here, if anyone sends you a mail just run and don't reply, too many golddiggers in here disguising as good people


Lights up my kpoli in peace.

8 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by advanceDNA: 9:13am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.



How can you want to marry someone you met 60 days ago...
Madam ..u don’t know this man..
Be patient....

6 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Bamzyriches451: 9:18am On Dec 08, 2021
Everything Marriage

Hiaa!! Nigerian girls Sha

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Campbellseun: 9:21am On Dec 08, 2021
Babe... you know what? For me I would advise you give like 6months to study him with less of romantic time. Let it be more of gist like your friend, from this discussion you can figure out what the guy wants from you. Then after 6months if nothing like your intention is coming up from him,sit him on a round table and have a straight talk with him about what you want for your future only. Remember never to ask him about marriage. After this discussion then give him a break for him to chase you,if he is not then forget about him totally and move on.

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Milly44(f): 9:21am On Dec 08, 2021
Women are liability ( na wetin baba mean be that)
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by gidado14(m): 9:22am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.


just tell him my dear if he react anyhow move on

2 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nobody: 9:22am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:


Well, sadly... That's not how I see it. It's just society is funny. I mentioned that I paid part of the hotel bills. I also mentioned my plans to surprise him with gifts and I didn't only mention that he is earning. I talked about myself too but unfortunately no one saw that.

The guys here just picked the part that suit them.
From the way you write I can tell you are not ready to listen to any advice. Those guys have told you the red flags in your so-called relationship, but your love/desperation won't make you reason. But when it's too late, we'd start seeing threads about how men are scum.

Good luck madam Ngozi.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Pumpumking: 9:22am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.




angry
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by obinna2nv(m): 9:23am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:


I wonder what u guys are reading though. Where and how did I say I am rushing him to get married? I only said I want to know if he is considering it. I would love to be with someone who is considering it. Then it can happen within a year of even two. That's fine.

But it's a totally different thing if he isn't considering marriage soon.


No young Guy in his late 20s or early 30s that has everything going for him is actually considering marriage. They all just want to ball and enjoy life. Most time is external factors that make them decide to get married, it could be the family members like the parents or he would meet a very special girl that arrested his heart. So the thing is, are you that special girl?

Marriage is tough, but its bearable if you are actually compatible with each other in how you view life and if both parties possess basic good human qualities like selflessness and patience.

You should focus on knowing if this Guy has these qualities of mostly same outlook on life as you and if he does, if it can stand the test of time.

You've e only known this Guy for 2 months. Its not that long in the grand scheme of things. You have your life ahead of you. Stay patient, keep working on yourself and your life goals.

Any man that actually appreciates you would want to be the man worthy to be your husband.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by peaceland(m): 9:23am On Dec 08, 2021
Good day,
A bit old school but you need to know his house, his office, his friends and at least a member of his family before marriage discussions crosses your mind.
You don't know anything about hispast, his spiritual orientations and co just want a marriage proposition. I think you are putting the cart before the horse.
I am against some of the things you have done together but that aside you expecting marriage from someone you barely know means you watch too much of Zeeworld (meant as a joke please)
Sister, relax, life is in stages, never rush a lifetime decision process, you can't do a carry over of married life.
Lines are falling in place, you are comfortable, don't mess those up with hasty life decision making.
Wish you the very best!
NovesaTillie:
Well as an experienced lady I will tell you for free that he's not interested in settling down.

And if he wants, he would want to settle with someone who is less financially stable.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by fkj950ax(m): 9:24am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:


We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.

You dont know his house.
You don't know his siblings
You don't know the parents
You are staying at hotels
He does excellently well in the family business ans the house is hot
You don't know his bank details

You are not ready for dating. And definitely not prepared for a relationship. And most importantly not supposed to be considering marriage

5 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 9:24am On Dec 08, 2021
Hi @ngoziwrites

Oh have i been in your shoes before? Yes!!!! grin

Difference is, I met him when I was 24 years old and did he waste my time? Yes!!!! grin

If he isn’t married, which I strongly doubt though mine wasn’t married but he hates the idea of marriage.

I had to pray for signs from God to end the relationship and I took the courage to ask him giving him ultimatum as I was also tired of waiting and his answer proved marriage wasn’t on his mind, so I moved on and it was a peaceful one though very painful as those 3 years together were gone!

If you married this man or he does so to you out of pity, you won’t enjoy the marriage...he is clearly not into marriage vibes and wouldn’t even make it work when you encounter challenges!


Let’s hope he isn’t married already cheesy


If I were you, I’d turn into a detective and trace him to his house. Don’t dull yourself! What you will find out might shock you!!!

7 Likes

Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Pumpumking: 9:25am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.



so u wanto marry guy u met on nairaland 2 week ago becuz u sell truck...correct?...r u related to BKsoul n AoifeNightfall? they all ways beggin for marry (no oofenese) angry
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Penguin2: 9:26am On Dec 08, 2021
Kuriosmynd:
Now, don't assume you know this young man well enough. You just barely met him.

You will know him better after you guys have sex 3x to 5x. I guess he already fvcked you well, otherwise I don't get your desperation.
.
You sound like a good innocent girl. I think I like your person. But I also feel the guy is trying to take firm control of you and do you as he pleases. Thread carefully. Those words he throws around shouldn't be taken lightly. There are often truth in light jokes.

You still need to understand his psyche, don't ask him openly, but during conversation and subtle question, u will connect the dots. U need to know the kind of girl he really wishes to marry. I mean In terms of look, endowment, age, family background and tribe, u must see if u fall in that category...else it's good to start being sceptical.
.
The truth is, sometimes, we guys might be dating a great girl, yet we are not convinced she's our want/spec.so we end up doing her as we please and dump her, and she starts to doubt herself.
.
Again. You need to know where he really wish to be, I mean his dream and plans; see if he's in that direction. See if he's content abt his present state, otherwise some guys might want to be headed toward their dream before giving marriage a serious interest. Forget about what he father has.Try to know where he wants to be.

Then reduce ur desperation and see how he responds to your unavailability. Note his words and don't be blind to his actions.
And lastly, don't showoff u have money..lol Guys will eat you, especially if he's not that committed to you.
Keep observing, as you never really known this guy. Later, you can ask him his plans for marriage, there's nothing bad. You need to know this guy's psyche abt marriage, otherwise u will be traveling in a boat without destination

You get sense abeg!

I hope she listens to you.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by wisdomkid: 9:26am On Dec 08, 2021
While reading this, all my mind kept screaming is "You're f**king YOUNG"... and doing fine. 26yrs old and earning 450k a month?
Opened a restaurant business at 23yrs, even if it failed? You're a gem and SHOULD START carrying yourself as one!!!

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