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I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! - Romance (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceI Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! (35781 Views)

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Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nobody: 11:37am On Dec 08, 2021
Any lady who is desparate to get married always fall into the wrong hand. Marriage is a thing of joy but it also take time to find the right person.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Cesclxg(m): 11:38am On Dec 08, 2021
ayo2008:
One thing that wnt allow a man to propose as quick as possible is when premarital sex is involved. Simple!
Simply avoid premarital sex.
True words. After the first fvck, wetin remain if there is no connection?
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Cindy222(f): 11:41am On Dec 08, 2021
Hmmm OP,even if you ask this kinda guy about marriage he might just say something to make you feel good and he might not actually mean it o....He will just say stuff you wanna hear to make you let your guard down.

He seems kinda manipulative.

How can you tell someone I will tell you 'I love you tomorrow ' or I told you yesterday haaaa....even if it's a joke sef las las he suppose talk am after the joke.


Please don't let your guards down even if he gives you an answer you like because his actions no match at all.

Marriage is worth being careful about sis,its a forever thing o. Love is not enough for marriage too,other things count.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Aninri: 11:42am On Dec 08, 2021
NovesaTillie:
Well as an experienced lady I will tell you for free that he's not interested in settling down.

And if he wants, he would want to settle with someone who is less financially stable.
. You are truely experienced.♥️♥️
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by blueivy8: 11:44am On Dec 08, 2021
This is actually a red flag�deep down you know but you allowing your emotions becloud your feelings
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Arrowss(m): 11:47am On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.
Let me tell you one truth which you will take with levity because love has taken over you: marriage is not his thing, leave him in peace, that's not your man, if you push for marriage and to settle down, the best you will get with him is babies as baby mama and less or no attentions from him, if you are ok with such, continue with him, if you don't want such, leave him, I know you will not listen, but copy and save this message if you continue, for future reference.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by tunize(m): 11:49am On Dec 08, 2021
He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.(silly excuse) you should be more concerned about this just live marriage first. TRUTH BE SAY THAT GUY NEVER READY MARRY KNOW THIS. but you can find out ask him in an intelligent way

Why are you so desperate about getting married is it that you feel you are getting old, or maybe you are been pressured by your parents or friends? Look before you leap ooh it is better to cry in "boyfriend and girlfriend situationship", than to cry inside marriage that is suppose to be enjoyed.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by slan87(m): 11:51am On Dec 08, 2021
Don't be too desperate about marriage, as for the man I think you are dating a married man.

Probably the wife & kids are out of this country.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by LaExpert: 12:05pm On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
I just want to know what he has in mind. I stated it in my post that a year is fine. Even two years, if needs be. But I only prefer within a year... So does he even have it in mind yet.
Have you ever considered that he might not be interested in getting married, or getting married to you?

The signs are clear that one of the above is the case.

Most serious men will talk about it, some won't, but will respond to it when their partners talk. Take a bold step and bring up the topic with him, if he doesn't respond in the affirmative, you have your answer.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by tunize(m): 12:07pm On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.
You are too available for this guy still scarce small now and see what's up love sweet ooh na heart break and premium tears spoil am slow and steady. Nor go dey show boys sey u get money ooh if you jam the wrong wan Dem go eat you both ways it's good to be nice but while at it keep your heart somewhere and use your head.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by West2019(m): 12:07pm On Dec 08, 2021
enyah .just been carful ok
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Goddessofthesea: 12:10pm On Dec 08, 2021
You've only known him for two months, don't you think it is too early to want to get married to him. Get to know him more....who knows..you may end up not liking him again.

Even if he loves you, you need to ask him if you are someone he would love to settle down with.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by sehin79(m): 12:14pm On Dec 08, 2021
I simply wonder why you would make a decision all about your self.. you are ready for marriage how about him..The bible says two people can never work together if they do not agree..
marriage is an agreement… so young girl relax take your time.. let the relationship work organically..and time will reveal a lot of things to you about him and even about yourself.. and more so you are still young..
Simply ask him is plans about marriage and tell him you date with a purpose to marriage.. and if he doesn’t believe in marriage move on and find someone that fit your goal about marriage..
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by akpascomartino: 12:15pm On Dec 08, 2021
OP, early marriage is good but 26years not too late for you. I will advice you give him chance for him not to see you too despirate for marriage.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Testimony1988(m): 12:16pm On Dec 08, 2021
Just be bold to ask him any questions so you will be free with him when you eventually get married to him.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(op): 12:17pm On Dec 08, 2021
Goddessofthesea:
You've only known him for two months, don't you think it is too early to want to get married to him. Get to know him more....who knows..you may end up not liking him again.

Even if he loves you, you need to ask him if you are someone he would love to settle down with.
A lot of people misunderstood me. I am considering erasing the post. That's if I can as it has been moved to front page.

Right from the beginning, everyone knows if they see a future with someone. Then time can reveal otherwise.

So, I am not in anyway saying my mind is made up to be with him.. I only saying I do see a future with him. I won't date someone if I don't. Time can reveal otherwise.

I am only pointing out some of the things I have noticed and would like to know if he is also considering marriage. If he is not in the next 1-2 years. Then that doesn't fit into what I want.

If he is, then we can take our time, work towards it and see if it works.

I am not saying I want to get married today today today..

So sickening.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by NomzyJust(m): 12:18pm On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to
And here I am looking for a wife.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ogascomax: 12:19pm On Dec 08, 2021
Hear wisdom, follow truth, except you want to be fooled by your feelings or desires. People enter relationship for two measure reason 1. To satisfy their sexual life. 2 for the purpose of marriage.
If the guy cannot tell you the reason for such relationship or union then your relationship is already in trouble. You entered with a purpose but that guy has different agenda. For fun. You cannot be in a relationship are you are scared of answering important question. Taking myself as an example I do enter relationship for one, reason. At the end I should be able to marry that person. Along the line something could happened that such relationship can't go on. A relationship must be purpose driving otherwise it becomes a gamble. Whatever result you have in gambling you take it. You don't fight it.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nobody: 12:19pm On Dec 08, 2021
Gold digger why are you in haste to marry him after only 60 days? Is it because of his fathers trucks and apartments?

Ask your self, what value have you brought into his life for the past 2 months since he accidentally bumped into you?

Only pusseyy,? that aint good enough! He is studying you, expect your dump notice soon.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by ngoziwrites(op):
.......
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Fiscus105(m): 12:29pm On Dec 08, 2021
AlhajiBitcoin:
It is a FAKE STORY.
Very very likely but more than this are happening outside.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nobody: 12:31pm On Dec 08, 2021
Ebubechuwku:
All I see here is desperation to get married and if things keep going like this, your decision will hunt you in future...

You are ready financially,mentally and physically, but your partner is not ready, he is not responsible, he still want his freedom.

Another one, don't use money as a criteria for love, unless you just wanna waste ur money. If you like send him all your savings, send him all your parents property document, and you are thinking that he will love you the more, it wil shock you na household he go impregnate las las.

You are 26, don't be in a hurry, look before you leap, there is lot to marriage, than love, so that you won't later rush out of it....


#ire o
Come and marry me. I'm ready
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nobody: 12:31pm On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
Why are you crying? Where in the post did it say I am in a haste to get married to him? You didn't see the part where I wrote even 2 years isn't bad.

So far as he is looking in the same direction.

Well, in the next 80 years. You won't even be close to where he is now. Keep typing from the slum where you live.

There is nothing to even dig from your own body.
Geez see vent up fury? Why are you desparate to get married to someone you hardly know? Answer the question, stop attacking me.

Its your life, whatever you choose to do with it. Truth hurts but you ve got to face it.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Alaganature09(m): 12:32pm On Dec 08, 2021
What about the old boyfriend? Hope e never use you before you met with your new boyfriend...cos you gals go dey jump from one boyfriend to another
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Kuriosmynd: 12:32pm On Dec 08, 2021
Fiscus105:
Very very likely but more than this are happening outside.
It's not a fake story...Trust me.
The writer is not the average Nairaland attention seeker.
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Ebubechuwku(m): 12:35pm On Dec 08, 2021
henrybangs44:
Come and marry me. I'm ready
Am a man, and you are likewise a man, I can't marry u... thats illegal...
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nobody: 12:36pm On Dec 08, 2021
Ebubechuwku:
Am a man, and you are likewise a man, I can't marry u... thats illegal...
Sorry, was trying to quote her
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Nobody: 12:37pm On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.
Come marry me. I'm ready
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Fiscus105(m):
ngoziwrites:
A lot of people misunderstood me. I am considering erasing the post. That's if I can as it has been moved to front page.

Right from the beginning, everyone knows if they see a future with someone. Then time can reveal otherwise.

So, I am not in anyway saying my mind is made up to be with him.. I only saying I do see a future with him. I won't date someone if I don't. Time can reveal otherwise.

I am only pointing out some of the things I have noticed and would like to know if he is also considering marriage. If he is not in the next 1-2 years. Then that doesn't fit into what I want.

If he is, then we can take our time, work towards it and see if it works.

I am not saying I want to get married today today today..

So sickening.
You see, person like not misinterpreted you OK. In age, relationship and marriage, the gap btw me and you is wide, in fact ,I misunderstand you more than information you released. I keep telling u, that guy would not be a good husband, provided he is not married already, I insist that his achievements are the factors that driving u crazy. I also insist that you are selling urself to bondage of marriage if you dear go ahead.

Let me ask you question you dodged wen I first asked u before ur story hit front page.......If this guy is earning 120k or less with no car, will you be soft like this for him? Having considered ur own status as well?
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by syntekelite(m): 12:41pm On Dec 08, 2021
ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.
Behave as you want to be treated..you dey find husband but you don allow guy lodge you for three nights,huh Thats the thinking of a crowd mentality controlled girl... Be yourself and give yourself some self worth, the right guy will respect you for that and you wont be the one looking to ask fr marriage.. continue this way and keep getting used by diff guys till you grow old..
Re: I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! by Fiscus105(m): 12:44pm On Dec 08, 2021
Kuriosmynd:
It's not a fake story...Trust me.
The writer is not the average Nairaland attention seeker.
Even if its, more than this are happening.....I have lost number of ladies that my friends had been scammed for this kind of desprado lady before, I mean pathetic story oooo.
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