₦airaland Forum

JovialJune:
Well, having kids is an achievement to those capable of taking care of them, it is a burden to those ones barely able to feed themselves talk more of the kids, and my interpretation of their situation is that of wickedness, selfishness, and pure evil, because I can never understand how some humans still trying to make sense of the lives, will bring another to the world to suffer with them, then call it an achievement.

Children are overall a burden, and those who bare them are expected to carry the responsibility that comes with having them squarely on their soldiers. No achievement there.

Even kids can and do have kids, with near no real effort.

tensazangetsu20:
It's better to be 40 and single and poor than 40 and married and poor.

There is no guarantee you will not be poor simply bc u choose to remain single for life.

It is not of him that runnet or of him that willet but of him that God showeth mercy.

There is always a God factor in life, work hard but don't forget to pray hard too

AntiMCU:
If he's 40 years and not yet achieved, then he can remain single all his life: nothing bad in that, after all marriage is double struggle for a man from humble background.

As regards all these "assets" talk you folks use to qualify some women, it is total hogwash. 99.99989 % of women are hypergamous, seek comfort and still wants the man to provide regardless of the fact whether she has her own money or not. In fact, the so called "assets" don't exist.

There is no guarantee you will not be poor for life simply bc u choose to remain single for life to evade poverty. Alot of things in life has no guarantee.

It is not of him that runnet or of him that willet but of him that God showeth mercy.

There is always a God factor in life, work hard but don't forget to pray hard too

It depends on how you see it actually.

One thing I know for sure is, children are necessary problems.

Kobojunkie:
An achievement, you say, meaning that these kids out there having kids of their own even outside of marriage are pretty much achieving a lot too, right?

That's not an achievement.
Am talking about having kids in marriage.
Children are one of the rewards of marriage.
However getting financially stable is now a priority in our present world. Wether you are married or not, don't put your responsibility on others.

Dindondin:
That's not an achievement.
Am talking about having kids in marriage.
Children are one of the rewards of marriage.
However getting financially stable is now a priority in our present world. Wether you are married or not, don't put your responsibility on others.

That again is not a truth.

Children can be had in marriage and outside of marriage. They aren't a reward even for the marriage.

Financial stability is necessity of sorts for all, single and married alike. However it is irresponsible for any to embark on the burden of child raring without it.

The world has no need for more children. Society has no need for more of them given the population to resources ratio we suffer. That desire to have kids is a selfish one, making it even more ridiculous when people try to sell them as an achievement.

I cannot safely say this to people that know me but I made the decision to be childfree a long time ago. Contrary to popular belief, I found my Soul mate with the same goals here in this country. As unbelievable as it sounds, we both got sterilized before dating. We have some similar reasons for our choices but we also have some different reasons as well. All I know is that I cannot relive the mistakes and hardships of the people before me. Being cf, I can do more for my future nephews and nieces than being preoccupied with my own. Like celibacy can be a calling for some people, parenthood isn't mine. I respect those who can and do so respectfully though... I was still a teen when I asked my mom to advise her friend to start family planning. That family had me worried with the way they kept having kids back to back while struggling to feed daily. Hearing about their situation constantly was disheartening. Somehow though, they always managed to make a new baby before the last one could start walking. I have seen firsthand what poverty can do to a woman who becomes a single parent and have to cater for several children alone. I have lived through it. I have been playing the role of a second parent to my siblings for years. Even now I can't turn it off anymore. Funny thing is that they're somehow better adjusted adults than me. I can't play house anymore. Society be damned. I make my own choices now. I

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

DoingBetter:
I cannot safely say this to people that know me but I made the decision to be childfree a long time ago. Contrary to popular belief, I found my Soul mate with the same goals here in this country. As unbelievable as it sounds, we both got sterilized before dating. We have some similar reasons for our choices but we also have some different reasons as well. All I know is that I cannot relive the mistakes and hardships of the people before me. Being cf, I can do more for my future nephews and nieces than being preoccupied with my own. Like celibacy can be a calling for some people, parenthood isn't mine. I respect those who can and do so respectfully though... I was still a teen when I asked my mom to advise her friend to start family planning. That family had me worried with the way they kept having kids back to back while struggling to feed daily. Hearing about their situation constantly was disheartening. Somehow though, they always managed to make a new baby before the last one could start walking. I have seen firsthand what poverty can do to a woman who becomes a single parent and have to cater for several children alone. I have lived through it. I have been playing the role of a second parent to my siblings for years. Even now I can't turn it off anymore. Funny thing is that they're somehow better adjusted adults than me. I can't play house anymore. Society be damned. I make my own choices now. I

Damn where did you see such a woman. Been looking for a woman that absolutely doesn't wanna have any kids and is okay with a hypersterectomy and I a vasectomy.

It is funny how men are the ones that cry that they don't want kids or they are ok with one or two kids while at the same time, they keep several girlfriends and bang them raw, they even support polygamy
You advise a Nigerian man to go for a vasectomy rather than the woman using drugs and all, he will never agree to it, bro thought you don't want more kids, what are you afraid of?

Vyolet:
It is funny how men are the ones that cry that they don't want kids or they are ok with one or two kids while at the same time, they keep several girlfriends and bang them raw, they even support polygamy
You advise a Nigerian man to go for a vasectomy rather than the woman using drugs and all, he will never agree to it, bro thought you don't want more kids, what are you afraid of?

COME LET THIS BE THE LAST TIME YOU WILL MENTION MY NAME HERE

Kobojunkiee:
That again is not a truth.

Children can be had in marriage and outside of marriage. They aren't a reward even for the marriage.

Financial stability is necessity of sorts for all, single and married alike. However it is irresponsible for any to embark on the burden of child raring without it.

The world has no need for more children. Society has no need for more of them given the population to resources ratio we suffer. That desire to have kids is a selfish one, making it even more ridiculous when people try to sell them as an achievement.

We are still saying the same thing.
The way you sounded it's like you don't appreciate those that got children as rewards in marriage & are taking care of them.
I don't support irresponsibility wether you are married of single.
The person raising children & asking money from you is practicing irresponsibility.
And if you claim to be so sound, people without children ask for assistance too. Will they die or just cease to exist?
There are lots of single fine-beggars online & in our private lives.
The crux of the matter is to be responsible to your tasks.

Vyolet:
It is funny how men are the ones that cry that they don't want kids or they are ok with one or two kids while at the same time, they keep several girlfriends and bang them raw, they even support polygamy
You advise a Nigerian man to go for a vasectomy rather than the woman using drugs and all, he will never agree to it, bro thought you don't want more kids, what are you afraid of?

Not all men are like that Just as not all women want to pump out babies as is a calling!

Dindondin:
The person raiding children & asking money from you is practicing irresponsibility.
And if you claim to be so sound, people without children ask for assistance too. Will they die or just cease to exist?
There are lots of single fine-beggars online & in our private lives.
The crux of the matter is to be responsible to your tasks.

Asking for money isn't the problem at all. Taking on a burden and hence a responsibility you are ill-equipped to cater to is.

Nigeria does not have a welfare system to provide support for children in the event that the parents are unable to and so it is the height of irresponsibility for anyone to choose to have children without first ensuring that child's future is near guaranteed.

.

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

Well children been an achievement is not true, I will rather use the word ‘gift’ there is good gift and there is a bad one, is what they later turn in life will determine what they are either good or bad!

Kobojunkiee:
Not all men are like that Just as not all women want to pump out babies as is a calling!

THIS ANTI-CHRIST AGAIN

Kobojunkiee:
Asking for money isn't the problem at all. Taking on a burden and hence a responsibility you are ill-equipped to cater to is.

Nigeria does not have a welfare system to provide support for children in the event that the parents are unable to and so it is the height of irresponsibility for anyone to choose to have children without first ensuring that child's future is near guaranteed.

Kobojunkie, why you dey personalize am towards me like say I be one of the people asking money from you?
I m highly educated and intelligent to know that Nigeria has poor system in welfare & other amenities for her citizens.
What I m telling you Junkie is that a child is an achievement to whoever has it. If you are responsible to yourself, family and society and you desire to marry and v a child, it's an achievement.

Dindondin:
What I m telling you Junkie is that a child is an achievement to whoever has it. If you are responsible to yourself, family and society and you desire to marry and v a child, it's an achievement.

Even the most irresponsible among us can have a child. Considering the Nigerian society and poor welfare system, those who choose not to have children are instead achievers.

LongBig:
Well children been an achievement is not true, I will rather use the word ‘gift’ there is good gift and there is a bad one, is what they later turn in life will determine what they are either good or bad!

Even the word "gift" no work at all with over 10,000,000 of said gifts wandering homeless on the streets of the same Nigeria.

Kobojunkiee:
Even the word "gift" no work at all with over 10,000,000 of said gifts wandering homeless on the streets of the same Nigeria.

That’s one example of a bad gift I made mentioned of

LongBig:
That’s one example of a bad gift I made mentioned of

So, the 10,000,000 children abandoned on the streets are "bad" gifts?

What you don't have is bigger than you

I must born next year o, then I'll answer this question

Its one of the greatest Achievement Man get from God..

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

Yes
BiG achievement for me
SOME OF my Client believe that married and responsible man will handle their roofing project well than a single guy
That's to say married is a blessing for some of Us!

My option ooo

Make I digest comments first.

So op answer us first:

1. Are you an achievement to your parents?

2. Someone said up there: “what you don't have, you won't understand”.

3. Mufasa (not MufasaLion of Nairaland ) said “we are all connected in the great circle of life”.

Look at it from this angle (not your angle now) :

Whatever product or service you sell out there, you need someone's child to buy it else sales will drop. If you operate a hailed cab service, you sell petrol at a service station, you ply dango on Lagos roads, you need someone's child to patronize you.

So ask yourself that question you asked us again.

We need children to keep the ecosystem going. China tempered with the ecosystem and suffered for it. From one child policy to three children now.

My brother answer is what you make of it. Shalom.

Op yes o... children are a great achievement

OssyMalik:
Op, you sabi cho cho o! Only you with all these stories for children matter. Are you not also a shidren?

ahn ahn!!

I tire for the fellow.
I did not even bother to read the epistle knowing fully well that he may likely be a " shidren" too.

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

It is not an achievement. Your achievements are ideas that u implemented. Children are products of sexual ideas. Career growth are products of intellectual ideas.