ayubaski:
Some of you saying it's not an achievement, if I were your neighbor and you tell me bearing children is not an achievement I will barr my children from running any errands for u

tolajay:
What a thought!

So, the only reason you gave birth is so they can run errands for others?

Omo, this country no dey go anywhere with the "quality" of thoughts and ideas I read on this forum. Our development is way beyond political pandering but the quality of minds we have in the citizenry.

tolajay:
After Thoughts

1. It's grossly irresponsible for anyone to have a child without proper planning (mental, spiritual and financial...) for themselves and the child.

2. Religious people must practice the details of their faith: God is orderly and won't do anything brashly. He that can't take care of his family is worse than an infidel.

3. Birthing without commensurate resources for the children is not suitable and sustainable for the earth. Overpopulation and its attendant effects are real and will continually grow.

4. Children are not a retirement plan. Parents should be the one to leave inheritances for their kids.

5. People aren't poor because they don't have money, rather because of the garbage in their minds. Poor people without money are the ones that justify their birthing spree, because their minds are shallow and unproductive.

ayubaski:
Some of you saying it's not an achievement, if I were your neighbor and you tell me bearing children is not an achievement I will barr my children from running any errands for u

cayorday89:


Be sincere with yourself, how many people even send other peoples' children on errands these days, and in places where it is rampant, how many children are even willing to go on errands without you not having to give them monetary rewards.
I also believe whoever decides to take the decision of not birthing a child is enlightened enough not to send children on errands.

ayubaski:
That's not what I said and not what I mean, it's seems you don't understand English

ayubaski:

Im just saying oo, if you don't want to born na ur business, make una leave way see as achievement alone..

ayubaski:
Many of you commenting are either okobo, infertile, sterile and don't want to take responsibility

Klass99:


You are welcome.




Yes nah, you think women are fickle, abi?




I owe you a kiss then, mwah . Thank God sef, I get to save money from NOT buying blue bunny .

Keep improving, I am inspired to as well.

DoingBetter:
I cannot safely say this to people that know me but I made the decision to be childfree a long time ago. Contrary to popular belief, I found my Soul mate with the same goals here in this country. As unbelievable as it sounds, we both got sterilized before dating. We have some similar reasons for our choices but we also have some different reasons as well. All I know is that I cannot relive the mistakes and hardships of the people before me. Being cf, I can do more for my future nephews and nieces than being preoccupied with my own. Like celibacy can be a calling for some people, parenthood isn't mine. I respect those who can and do so respectfully though... I was still a teen when I asked my mom to advise her friend to start family planning. That family had me worried with the way they kept having kids back to back while struggling to feed daily. Hearing about their situation constantly was disheartening. Somehow though, they always managed to make a new baby before the last one could start walking. I have seen firsthand what poverty can do to a woman who becomes a single parent and have to cater for several children alone. I have lived through it. I have been playing the role of a second parent to my siblings for years. Even now I can't turn it off anymore. Funny thing is that they're somehow better adjusted adults than me. I can't play house anymore. Society be damned. I make my own choices now. I

Klass99:


You're not alone in the decision to be child free and like you, I make my own choices too, irrespective of cultural norms and practices, societal expectations or what other people think.

Your entire post and narrative lights up my heart, I like the mindset I see and I like a kindred spirit. The bolded parts of your text are things I can relate to and I totally feel you on.

yuping:
What you don't have is bigger than you

cayorday89:

You just come up with a conclusion that is most times not concrete enough, even if they tell you they are infertile, okobo, you will not still accept them for who they are, you will still throw shades, if they prove that they can carry and more than capable to take responsibility for four children but decide to have none or just one, you will still throw shades at them, the most important thing is that they are happy with whatever decision they have taken.
In the real sense of it, the most problematic people in this conversation are those who wants to birth loads of children without having adequate resources to cater for them and still end up running to those who have lesser children for help either from their relatives or neighborhood.

paddyDIGITAL:

Every good parent wishes to have children who do better is life, and outlive them, sustaining the family legacy. Are you hoping to have yours end up in jail, or die before you?

sooperrescue:
All those children being trafficked and sold to rich couples for 3m, if it is not an achievement, why will anyone buy a child for 3m? Why will anyone steal another woman's child? Children are blessings to us and if our quivers are full, great but like Peter who was walking on water and looked away from Jesus, a lot of us face many challenges and we despair because we feel that it's our ability to raise the children. If God gave you children, he has found you worthy and he will provide for them or else why will God give a rich man just two children when the man can take care of 50 children easily. The joy of sharing in their innocence is greater than the current situation they may find themselves and being responsible for another human being is something we should be proud of.

Kobojunkiee:
Stop dragging God down into the muck that is Nigeria for Pete's sake!

If Children were meant as a blessing why did God cursed them and the having of them in Genesis 3 vs 16? Why did God create some Eunuchs from birth, let some be made Eunuchs in this life and then allow others to become Eunuchs for His sake - Matthew 19 vs 3 - 15.

And why do many of these women who have these children sell them off to the highest bidder, abandon some - over 10 million ot said blessings roaming roaming the streets of Nigeria homeless to this day- and even go as far as to kill others?

Children are not gifts or blessings, nor are they mandates or achievements. They are instead burdens, and a responsibilities.

ayubaski:
Im not forcing anyone to bear children, but saying it's not an achievement I don't concur that

Kobojunkiee:
Stop dragging God down into the muck that is Nigeria for Pete's sake!

If Children were meant as a blessing why did God cursed them and the having of them in Genesis 3 vs 16? Why did God create some Eunuchs from birth, let some be made Eunuchs in this life and then allow others to become Eunuchs for His sake - Matthew 19 vs 3 - 15.

And why do many of these women who have these children sell them off to the highest bidder, abandon some - over 10 million ot said blessings roaming roaming the streets of Nigeria homeless to this day- and even go as far as to kill others?

Children are not gifts or blessings, nor are they mandates or achievements. They are instead burdens, and responsibilities expected to be carried by those who bare them, not by others in society.

POLYGAMY:
COME LET THIS BE THE LAST TIME YOU WILL MENTION MY NAME HERE

sooperrescue:
1. I was not there when you said God cursed them.
2. But the only promise that God made to Abraham was children as many like the sands of the sea.

3. Why are people buying children of other people if it is a curse?

4. Do you know how much an IVF cost?

5. All those homes dealing in children to impregnate the girls and sell the babies. Children are blessings, blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

Kobojunkiee:
1.God's curse is clearly written of in Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22

2. God's promise to Abraham, was that, God's promise to Abraham - not to you or to any man. The proclaimation was made to Abraham, by God for God's own purpose. Even at that, Abraham, a very rich man, had only 8 children.

3. People also pay a premium for sex and drugs, doss that make it all a blessing from God or something?

4. The cost of IVF has absolutely nothing to do with God but greed on the part of those who pursue their selfish desire to reproduce , and those who help them achieve their selfish desires.

5. So you are trying to argue here and now that children are now a commodity to be bought and sold for profit means children are a blessing? You graduate college at all?

sooperrescue:

Make I leave you alone. Whatever you want, do it quickly. I don't want to hear that you are a member of the laughing church at Oregun, Ikeja after you have tried everything else.

Kobojunkiee:
What is so wrong with dying without a child? Will having a child somehow save one from the decay of death or something?

Kobojunkiee:
Abeg, speak wetin you know o'jare!

So the 1000s of ladies who abandon their children on the streets, gutters, and dustbin of Nigeria each year , na undiluted love and purest love dem discard so?

Adakintroy:


"Only an slowpoke will hold the values of their parents" you say? Am correct?..

I say Be carefull son..you not that intelligent. Your position is arrogance not knowledge. Be carefull with it. You on the edge already.

joowealth:
Well, morally, everybody are entitled to their opinions but looking at it from another perspective, @ OP, kindly ask those who have money, have everything but no child/children if it is achievement or not to have kids!

micxwell:

A lady mentioned this a few weeks ago, and they nearly decapitated her on this forum.

RodgersAkpafu:

Please what's the link to that thread?