₦airaland Forum

walkingshadow911:
Am sorry if i stroke a nerve Mrs Nobody....
I only stated the obvious truth here
i understand how it feels to be campaigning after election.
what she felt was not what she got. thereby are pussy game failed
we all got exploited at some point, it's no brainer
its breakfast that will go round....

. Stroke Whose nerve? I just admonished you to.Stop Castigating Her as Nobody Holy Pass!! U Calling Her a LovePeddler as if She requested for money after doing the do bcs I didn't read anywhere She wrote that,Someone that even asked for the Guys account details to Credit Him and even want 2 buy Him gifts is stl decent and kind enough ,and it is stl ur Hypocritical type that will Create a thread on Naira land wailing that a Lady that u have been Spending all ur money on Refuse to let you Sleep wit Her wetin Naijiria Men want?
They will Castigate a Lady for Having Sex,Yet still Pressures their Girlfriends and Fiancée's to Sleep with them and if they refuses,they will Come to Naira land to demonize them.

The moment you are in doubt , trust your instinct . When a man loves a woman, he knows exactly what he wants .
Honestly girl, you are not in his plans cuz two things are involved. Either he is married or he has a serious relationship. You are basically a side "keep me busy" but I will leave time and experience to teach you that ! The monent a man doesn't want you to know his house , meet his family , doesn't pick your calls at night in the name of discipline ...... you bet ! Good luck though.

ngoziwrites:
Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

Don't waste your time with him just because you think he's financially stable. His family business, his family houses, his family this, his family that. When is he going to be a real man in the real sense? That man is not independent yet, and he's not looking for who to settle down with.
You're not doing badly too, financially. Stop looking for ready made man.

ngoziwrites:
25k hotel will move me? 25k hotel? Did you hear yourself.

Well, These post just make me see that men are really depressed and society is not fair to you all.

If a woman wants a stable man- it's gold digging.

But if a man marries a white lady or rich woman - he is smart and sharp.

It's such a pity.

I have proudly dated men earning less. I have started from scratch. But there are stages in life.

Why do men avoid marriage when they aren't financially stable? because it makes no sense in an ideal world.

Women should strive. Men too.

Everyone hustle.

No, it's good that you're looking for a financially stable man. You deserve it as a financially stable woman yourself

But you need to understand that men of all calibre have their share of good and bad. Just because a man is financially stable doesn't mean that he is responsible or emotionally stable

This man has already started sleeping with you even though you barely know each other. He even took you to a hotel for 3 nights while his house is in the same area. Does it make sense to you?

A responsible man will treat his potential wife with respect and bring her to his home and make her feel comfortable instead of sleeping with her in a hotel. That's how prostitutes and side chicks are treated

And think about this. You are financially stable, ok. How many other financially stable women are there out there? How many other women have thrown themselves to his feet?

He barely knows you and he doesn't seem to care about learning more about your goals and dreams

Since you've already started having sex with him, he probably sees you as cheap too

You won't see these truths because it's not what you want to hear

My advice to you is be patient and wait for a man who actually wants to marry you

ngoziwrites:
Well, sadly... That's not how I see it. It's just society is funny. I mentioned that I paid part of the hotel bills. I also mentioned my plans to surprise him with gifts and I didn't only mention that he is earning. I talked about myself too but unfortunately no one saw that.

The guys here just picked the part that suit them.

We saw it but we're men. We know the information that was hidden in what you revealed, you're falling for him partly because of what you think he has. Men here just don't want you to make mistake even if you feel that they're judging you wrongly

ngoziwrites:
Well.... You are wrong. I never in any way say I wanted to send him a monetary gift.

I wrote surprise gift there; Cake, Wine, Small chops. Not money.

Previously, you said bank account.

Re-read

ngoziwrites:
I am not changing anything. If we had sex, I would say it.

Because so many of you here, including you are already preparing the lies to tell girls just to sleep with them.

Unfortunately, I am not part of the girls u can shame because of sex.... If u think saying slut and saying he banged u is going to make me want to hide myself, then u better wake up from that dream.

Ashamed of sex? Because we live in the 18th century?


And You have slept with everything possible and whatever u have between your legs should be cut off because u have dipped it anywhere undeserving.

Men and women are not the same. A man would entertain you accepting his offer for sex but he will lose respect for you. In his mind, he's thinking how many other men has she slept with? Is she this easy? But he won't tell you out loud

Men won't tell you this but it's how they think. Stop thinking that it's 21st century so women can be free. No. If you have already started sleeping with him, he has already lost respect for you and the chances of him wifing you are even lower

Tell him the truth about how you feel. If you are looking for marriage as soon as possible then tell him you are looking to be married within a year and you don't want anybody not ready to marry before 12 months passes.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Feelings79:
If this friend of yours isn't having girls readily around him, successful as he is,then something must be fundamentally wrong with somewhere.....it means there must be something repelling them girls from sticking.Talking from experience

Naaaah...nothing repelling.

bepositive11:
Men and women are not the same. A man would entertain you accepting his offer for sex but he will lose respect for you. In his mind, he's thinking how many other men has she slept with? Is she this easy? But he won't tell you out loud

Men won't tell you this but it's how they think. Stop thinking that it's 21st century so women can be free. No. If you have already started sleeping with him, he has already lost respect for you and the chances of him wifing you are even lower

A man would lose respect for his girlfriend? Me and this guy haven't had sex. Because it was in a hotel and the first time, that didn't seem okay to me. The third day we went to his house anyway, but briefly.

So.... A man would lose respect for his girlfriend, even when they are already together and sex happened only then. So why do u guys pester for sex then and do so much drama when the girlfriend says no.

If u have a girlfriend. Don't u have sex with her? That's if both of u aren't abstaining? So, when u do, u lose respect for her?

NovesaTillie:
Well as an experienced lady I will tell you for free that he's not interested in settling down.

And if he wants, he would want to settle with someone who is less financially stable.

I think so

ngoziwrites:
A man would lose respect for his girlfriend? Me and this guy haven't had sex. Because it was in a hotel and the first time, that didn't seem okay to me. The third day we went to his house anyway, but briefly.

So.... A man would lose respect for his girlfriend, even when they are already together and sex happened only then. So why do u guys pester for sex then and do so much drama when the girlfriend says no.

If u have a girlfriend. Don't u have sex with her? That's if both of u aren't abstaining? So, when u do, u lose respect for her?

I thought you had sex at the hotel while knowing him for less than 2 months

What I meant to say is that the easier it is for a man to get a woman to have sex with him, the more likely he is to lose respect for her because he would think that she would easily have sex with any other guy too

And even if he's having sex with his girlfriend, he will still respect her as long as he knows that she's not easy and she has standards

UyaiIncomparabl:
Gold digger. Marry the ones in your DM.

Which one did you see in my Dm

Why does everyone want to introduce the OP to someone they know? Men too don dey dig gold

Ngoziwrites, first of all unlike ladies, guys do not make plans to get married two years from the time they get married. A guy is ready when he’s ready. Once a guy is ready he can get married to someone he met two weeks ago. We don’t plan our lives like women, we are more spontaneous, on the spot kind of humans.

The guy has told you on more than one occasion what he thinks about marriage, you said you acted like you didn’t hear. From the way you comment to people who try to advise you, it seems you only like to hear what you want to hear.

Your relationship is a distance one and still very new, you do not know this guy that well to be thinking of settling with him. You probably never seen him mad? You don’t know his level of hygiene, you don’t know if he does house chores, how he relates with his family etc. You are seeing him for the second time next week.

Do not jump the gun, make effort to advance your relationship. If you work remotely, move to Lagos if you are sure of the relationship, or transfer to Lagos if possible. That way you hang out more, you get to really know him. All these phone communication, seeing yourselves once in 4 months won’t cut it.

Lastly, from your initial post you said he asked you out when you were together, meaning you travelled to meet a guy (not your boyfriend) in a hotel. If he hadn’t asked you out, you would have been there for casual sex. He probably still sees you as a casual lay, fwb. The foundation of your relationship is faulty. Even to the 90th century, guys would still be particular about the morals of the person they intend to settle with.

I think you should do one of these two things; let go of the relationship and do better when you meet someone else or enjoy the present, let go of any thoughts of something serious coming out of this. If it happens, it happens.

All the best.

Ebubechuwku:
All I see here is desperation to get married and if things keep going like this, your decision will hunt you in future...

You are ready financially,mentally and physically, but your partner is not ready, he is not responsible, he still want his freedom.

Another one, don't use money as a criteria for love, unless you just wanna waste ur money. If you like send him all your savings, send him all your parents property document, and you are thinking that he will love you the more, it wil shock you na household he go impregnate las las.

You are 26, don't be in a hurry, look before you leap, there is lot to marriage, than love, so that you won't later rush out of it....


#ire o

Azzin ehn, I wonder why a 25years old babe is this desperate to get married.

larryking540:
exactly alot of red flags,the mistake the op will do is getting pregnant for him ,that settles it all welcome to baby mamas world without a ring on the middle finger

dear op ,I kw say marriage day shark you ,it's a good thing atleast u desire to be married ,yes life no easy for one person to roll on ,it requires 2person ,,,but truth be told ,that bigger never ready for marriage ,,,,date with a purpose ,say after me ,date with a purpose ,6 months is half a year ,has he made interest to hello your family ,if not hmmmmmmm,,,,,,u just day build marriage for your heart ,,,dear op ,,,we sleep for hotel no be say e go marry you oo,,and pls op can you stop emphasising on what this young man got ,,,it says alot about you ,you want a rich dude but I can smell run away lady from you when calamity falls on that guy.....

Working class lady that earns that figure she earns always believe men should jump at them because they earn well.. They also make emphasis on a guy’s pocket and they do not settle for guys doing less than them financially. All i STATED is the reason why many of them do not get the marriage thing right early OR not get it right at all because they rather go for what they WANT and not what they NEED

ngoziwrites:
... I mentioned those things he has just to let u all know he is financially ready. So that part is out. I have never asked him for ordinary 1k and I don't intend. I make my own money. I only want someone with sense.

Women desperate for marriage is a red flag! It’s not bad to want to get married but your desperation at 25 is such a red flag that I can’t even advise you

ngoziwrites:
Yes. I don't sound desperate. I have never even mentioned any of these things. Anytime he says things like marriage is hardwork or probably any topic related to marriage, I don't say anything at all.

I just think I should ask now, so we are sure we are looking in the same direction.

Usually, people start relationships with asking a lot of questions. But we didn't start that way. I thought we would even ask basic questions when we see. But we didn't.

He hasn't asked my goals, my plans etc. I want to ask to but he is the one with more power in the relationship. It's his call. So, I can't ask him.

Seeing this comment will make me advise you like a brother and an experienced guy in his 30s that I am as well.

ASKING a guy when he wants to get married after TWO MONTHs is a red flag and absurd! If this must happen so quick, it must come from the GUY not you. If u like ask him from now till tomorrow, if it’s not you, it’s not you!

Let the relationship flow madam ure still 25, u missed the opportunity to ask him before you rushed and Bleep him for three days! So what were you guys discussing for two weeks before you finally met him in person? You knew marriage is paramount to you YET you didn’t prioritize it in your discussion before meeting him in person. Asking him now is DEsPeration. Let things flow at least 6months then u can ask. Then it will make more sense why you’re asking and infact, you might not need to ask again because his actions will most likely tell you all you need to know in that period of 6months except you are not honest with yourself.
Good luck!

Nat404:
Exactly. I totally agree with you. If a man doesn't take you to his house, it means something is fishy.

Something is not necessarily fishy, but then if something is fishy. She will find out. She missed the opportunity of asking the guy important questions before going to bleep him for three days. I wonder what they were discussing for TWO weeks prior to their meeting. I have dropped my my advice on one of her comments and wished her good luck

instinct57vm:
Seeing this comment will make me advise you like a brother and an experienced guy in his 30s that I am as well.

ASKING a guy when he wants to get married after TWO MONTHs is a red flag and absurd! If this must happen so quick, it must come from the GUY not you. If u like ask him from now till tomorrow, if it’s not you, it’s not you!

Let the relationship flow madam ure still 25, u missed the opportunity to ask him before you rushed and Bleep him for three days! So what were you guys discussing for two weeks before you finally met him in person? You knew marriage is paramount to you YET you didn’t prioritize it in your discussion before meeting him in person. Asking him now is DEsPeration. Let things flow at least 6months then u can ask. Then it will make more sense why you’re asking and infact, you might not need to ask again because his actions will most likely tell you all you need to know in that period of 6months except you are not honest with yourself.
Good luck!

I did say I am not looking for flings. And I am looking for something real. And he said he is here for real. I have this phobia for meeting new people. I am scared that they do not mean well for me and are just probably coming to lie. So, because of that I go into a shell and just try to read the person from the things they ask and say.

The day I wanted to ask, I told him we haven't really discussed important things, getting to know each other more. He said that will happen in person and these things flow, not planned.

The only thing I observed that he doesn't see you in the picture when it comes to marriage even though he is not ready now, even when he is ready you won't be the one.
You know one thing about guys, there are so clear about what they want . If they even give you mixed signals it means they don't take you seriously but in this case he is not even giving you mixed signals. He said to you" when I'm married, my wife will be my responsibility" if you were the one he will tell clearly that when he gets married to you, you will be his responsibility. He even asked you if you want to marry as if he doesn't know you love him, he is actually using a reverse psychology on you and applying most of the manipulative ideas he might have learned on you. A guy who loves you will reassure even if it means everyday that they love you not calculating when last he told you so. He just wants to make you crave for it and the truth is that you are already booked.
If you just want a casual relationship you want to enjoy for a moment you can choose to continue but I tell you if your goal is that you have seen the man of your dreams then you are mistaken, he doesn't see you as such. He doesn't hate you , neither does he love you, he is attracted to you and you will do for the moment.
Learn not to discard warning signals and do the right things that needs to be done in a relationship if you know what I mean.
And take out time to position yourself for a person that will love you to come to you.
Thank you. God bless.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Ngoni,you go marry me? Hehe,I’m ready in 12 weeks. But I no get money ooo. �

ultraviolet27:
. Stroke Whose nerve? I just admonished you to.Stop Castigating Her as Nobody Holy Pass!! U Calling Her a LovePeddler as if She requested for money after doing the do bcs I didn't read anywhere She wrote that,Someone that even asked for the Guys account details to Credit Him and even want 2 buy Him gifts is stl decent and kind enough ,and it is stl ur Hypocritical type that will Create a thread on Naira land wailing that a Lady that u have been Spending all ur money on Refuse to let you Sleep wit Her wetin Naijiria Men want?
They will Castigate a Lady for Having Sex,Yet still Pressures their Girlfriends and Fiancée's to Sleep with them and if they refuses,they will Come to Naira land to demonize them.

I wonder why people believe it's always a man who uses a lady when it comes to sex or it's always to the man's pleasure alone and the lady's loss, so only ladies should feel ashamed after sex as if women don't crave for sex too.

instinct57vm:
Something is not necessarily fishy, but then if something is fishy. She will find out. She missed the opportunity of asking the guy important questions before going to bleep him for three days. I wonder what they were discussing for TWO weeks prior to their meeting. I have dropped my my advice on one of her comments and wished her good luck

Hahahahaha. You're so funny. How did you know she went to bed with the guy? Anyways, you guys know a lot better than me.

ngoziwrites:
I did say I am not looking for flings. And I am looking for something real. And he said he is here for real. I have this phobia for meeting new people. I am scared that they do not mean well for me and are just probably coming to lie. So, because of that I go into a shell and just try to read the person from the things they ask and say.

The day I wanted to ask, I told him we haven't really discussed important things, getting to know each other more. He said that will happen in person and these things flow, not planned.

My apologies, I don’t pamper people but I just tell them the bitter truth, I think from all indications this guy is not serious but then, two months is way too short to judge him. Different guys with different policies. Some guys will not propose marriage until after courting for at least 1 to 2years. While some guys will settle down in less than a year if u tick all or majority of the boxes. That said, I still maintain you shouldn’t ask him anything again. Let it flow, whether or not you ask him, he’s 31 and his actions and events will tell in 6months max how soon he’s likely getting married or if he’s planning to get married at all if you can be honest with yourself then.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Do you respond to me on WhatsApp? i just want to verify from you so i won't be scammed.

21ju:
Do you respond to me on WhatsApp? i just want to verify from you so i won't be scammed.

Yes. I just did.

this guy has no plans for you! hes just using you and WILL dump you. Dont be fooled!

ngoziwrites:
He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

You're too straight forward..

So, how is it going now, or how did it end?

@ngoziwrites

Just ask your parents to start looking for suitors to start inviting in 6months time. Tell bf you need engagement in 6months latest and marriage 6 months after that.

Your fall back plan to suitors being lined up for you , should make you less desperate about getting married to bf and to stop worrying he is not interested in marriage .

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Okay Ngoziwrites,
I'm in a very good mood right now so let me advice you as a man.

There's nothing wrong in asking a man you've been dating exclusively after over 4 to 5 months.

This would mentally trigger a man who truly loves you and wants to be with you to start making plans.
"Shhhh... Keep your voice down,
don't let other ladies hear this secret."

You sound and seem to me like a gurl with a heart of gold but you're inexperienced about dealing in a romantic situation with men at 26. There are many red flags all over your post. This guy of 32 you met via FB is a player and undecided about you. He might like you for convos and sex, but he doesn't LOVE YOU. He def has other girls
in his life as options. Lol.

Step back from this situation and learn from other young people's experiences. Get yourself involved in other hobbies to forget this issue and read books on relationships, and respect yourself.

It seems YOU have been "dickmatized" already... This is why you are not seeing all the red flags properly. Experience will teach you.

Better for YOU to get married at
29 or 30 to a "sincere" man than
you rushing at 26 to make a "very insincere" guy of 32 to get married to you. Japa (meaning "run swiftly" in Yoruba) right NOW!

This is the brutal truth.

Talk to you later.