DSoj:


Do U have to quote the whole long write up? Dopemu

Sugomu, supo arogomu, oponu ayerada omo fobojona! Mo ri e sugbon o ju omo lasan lo!

iamkelvincent:



Hey Mr, having children is good but not an
achievement. Religion, poverty and ignorance have made a lot of people blind to this. Some would say who will live on with my name when i die, that's a fool's mindset cause after 5 century's or possibly even less your so called name would have been forgotten. What's having children if you can't take care of them, bringing them to this world to suffer. Most parents or people are 100% selfish to giving birth, all they want is someone to take care of then when they are old, they fucking don't even care about the child coming to suffer.

Did you see me quote religion or support irresponsible child bearers?

Ask you father if having you was worth it.

After them una don enter this world na una de always ask mumu questions.

You for de that side ask.

One of the reason children are achievement unlike the western world where everything is planned for your old age is taken care of but no so in Nigeria your children is your future. If you like have children if you don't like don't .

Supreme145:

True boss but the situation of things in this country is already out of hand, it's a gamble I'm not willing to take.

marriage to me is more like a game of Russian roulette,I have rich friends that are single but got broke after marriage,I also have poor friends that got rich after marriage, there's no defined textbook course on marriage,

Vyolet:
It is funny how men are the ones that cry that they don't want kids or they are ok with one or two kids while at the same time, they keep several girlfriends and bang them raw, they even support polygamy
You advise a Nigerian man to go for a vasectomy rather than the woman using drugs and all, he will never agree to it, bro thought you don't want more kids, what are you afraid of?

Whats wrong with getting your tubes tied,sameway menopause takes away your eggs but men have no menopause its unheard of and even religiously wrong,

Maybe your planning to have bastard babies for your hubby

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.
e
Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

Well OP, You have a very good points but life doesn't roll like and as you say every mallam to his kettle.

Do you want to start bearing children in your old age ?
or do you want to start training them when you can't go out to hustle again?
well, Most men actually take up what's called responsilities and take their hustle to a great height once they get married and start to have children.
See don't put yourself in a default mood just because you are afriad to make serious move.
Children is an achievement when you train them well and they in turn succeed in life.Children will keep your legacy and your sweat will not go in vain. Tha ball is in your court.

To me it all depends on good planning, industrious partner and God.
1. Children are good heritage from God
2. Industrious woman and a discipline and hard-working man seldom suffer poverty
3. Parenting is another topic entirely which is not easy and almost a lifetime institution, better to start when you have the energy and zeal
4. Family issue is not all about money, there are rich homes with vagabonds and broken relationship
5. Responsibility saves you from frivolity
6. These neighbors you think are poor and always begging from you sometimes have better plans, you will just hear them one day saying uncle we are moving to our fairly completed two bedroom flat, while you keep on changing electronic and paints of a rented apartment.
7. Time waits for nobody, before you close and open your eyes, this post will be ten years ago.
8. It is so beautiful to grow up with your kids, not only when you are a millionaire, even that time you will be too busy.
9. I don't have much, but it is soothing watching my favourite club Chelsea with my boy.
10. May God help us all

Nothing at all is easy for this life, at time I do reason the way people really take it as they do.
Most found themselves in that out of pressure which they will not bother to know what they will pass through. Anyway na their own cup of tea Joo

Lightway:


What's really tough about being pregnant and giving birth

Jesus, why is it that when people have not experienced something they just underrated it? Imagine some women not getting it together through out the period of pregy, heartburn, headaches, fever, spitting, vomiting, lack of appetite, weakness of the body, having swollen legs and pains all over your body sometimes and finally labour paind

Your experience is relatable to mine, their demand is seriously overwhelming.

Klass99:
Today, will be a good day for moi . Because, I am only coming across posts that are making me laugh. @ Supreme145, thanks for cracking me up with your post, it was an enjoyable read.

The problem with all of the characters in your narrative is that, if you are a blood relative to any of them, sooner or later you will be in trouble yourself.

They slowly but surely drag you into the cosmos of their lack and poverty. You find yourself making sacrifices or depriving yourself of things, just so you can help them, for the sake of their kids. I have a relative like this, with 5 children. If she is not calling about one financial issue or the other, her children are the ones calling.

It has reached a point where, when a call comes in and it's them, I mentally cringe and instantly feel stressed. Then my heart goes......kai ooo god, what is it now? Even before I answer the call.

This is a household of two parents, yet almost every bill payment, is becoming a matter of community effort, where other relatives have to contribute money, to bail them out. I gave up a chunk of money meant to replace my faulty washing machine, for their sake. I am still managing the faulty one, yet they called again after that, with another financial issue.

I am beginning to feel resentful towards this relative, because their life choices (she and her hubby) are negatively impacting me, whereas mine aren't. Some days I feel like, I wasn't there when you were straffing and conceiving these children, but now I am indirectly involved in their care and maintenance. In our old age, these children will cater to you first, not me!

If I am stranded and in need of 5k, I cannot get it from her. But, she has been a beneficiary of my goodwill for a while now, I am just tired! When people encourage unbridled breeding, in the name of children are a blessing, it really annoys me. Where is the blessing in 5 kids when you cannot feed or pay bills and you constantly have to tap others, to help you pay those bills?

Just pray that Devil dosnt give you 'children of sorrow'.

Even as a married man with 2 kids, l have learnt a lot from this thread.
Life indeed is a mystery! My brother get more closer to God and never stop adding value to yourself and believe in your intrinsic worth not material things.

tensazangetsu20:

It's better to be 40 and single and poor than 40 and married and poor.

kaymandak:
To me it all depends on good planning, industrious partner and God.
1. Children are good heritage from God
2. Industrious woman and a discipline and hard-working man seldom suffer poverty
3. Parenting is another topic entirely which is not easy and almost a lifetime institution, better to start when you have the energy and zeal
4. Family issue is not all about money, there are rich homes with vagabonds and broken relationship
5. Responsibility saves you from frivolity
6. These neighbors you think are poor and always begging from you sometimes have better plans, you will just hear them one day saying uncle we are moving to our fairly completed two bedroom flat, while you keep on changing electronic and paints of a rented apartment.
7. Time waits for nobody, before you close and open your eyes, this post will be ten years ago.
8. It is so beautiful to grow up with your kids, not only when you are a millionaire, even that time you will be too busy.
9. I don't have much, but it is soothing watching my favourite club Chelsea with my boy.
10. May God help us all

Well done, may God continue to bless you and your son.
The OP was just mixing issues together in her or his post.

THESE REPONSES BELOW ARE FOR THE OP

1. To have a child is an achievement. This is so because it adds to your genealogy which started first through procreation. In Africa, having a child means leaving a path that could be traced to u when naming ur ancestors, tribe, village, and your origin. It is a form of secured identity of your next generation in line and in life. Also it is a form of relief at old age, even the Bible describe them as children who would stand at the gate and ask ur enemies questions. They are like arrows in the hand of a powerful man.

2. The numbers of children to have is another discussion entirely. This factor is affected by many issues such as fertility, financial stability, generational instance ( If u are the only child from your parents, ur own parents would love to have more grand kids), on health ground ( imagine a family who love to have 4 children and are well to do financially but was constrained by medical instances of cesarean sections or ectopic pregnancy), the country u are raising the family.

3. The points stated in Number 2 above could now bring us to all the issues u discussed in your original post. Nigeria Is a hell if u don't curtail the number of children u raise. This is even worse when people do not plan well before giving birth to the children. Child do not bring food from heaven. It is God who provides and nurtures both parent ad the children, BUT THE MAIN RESPONSIBITIES LIE ON THE PARENTS


Caveat: if we reflect from where we are coming from, it will DO US GOOD IF WE CAN ALTER THINGS THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE FOR OUR PARENTS TO CHANGE, through our new informed Decisions, henceforth.

If u are married and the house is NOT FULL ALREADY, it is not too late to make amendment. If u are not married, pls open ur eyes.

Me I am ready for marriage Oo. Any lady that can pay my groom price is welcome.

Dindondin:
You can't twist my statement.
My post isn't in support of irresponsible child bearers. Stop frowning at your keypad.
My post is based on life desires.
A lot desire to v children.

I am not here twisting your statement.

Look, there are over 200 million people in Nigeria with over 75% of them living in perpetual poverty. Of those are recorded over 10 million children who are homeless, roaming the streets of the same country every single day. Suggesting that children are, in this same society, an achievement, is to do so by turning a blind eye to problems that are become a reality of life and living in Nigeria.

Absolutely. Yes

Decency2020:




Of all the nonsense you fabricated up there this few lines got me and it was enough to tell you are a small boy with small sense.



In your little mind once you get enough to rent a three bedroom apartment, buy car, have a substantial savings you are made right? You have never seen once a well to do man who sold off properties to feed and later had his belongings thrown out?


Small boy

You lots can't argue intelligently with throwing insults, go into to world and multiply Methuselah. Big woman with big sense.

Children are responsibilities not achievement. There is so much work involved with raising other people.

MorningStar233:

Jesus, why is it that when people have not experienced something they just underrated it? Imagine some women not getting it together through out the period of pregy, heartburn, headaches, fever, spitting, vomiting, lack of appetite, weakness of the body, having swollen legs and pains all over your body sometimes and finally labour paind

For Pete's sake, pregnancy has happened at least 1000, 000,000 times in your lifetime alone- assuming you are at least 20 years of age. And in the same lifetime, we have been forced to shed all the ridiculous conditions previously attached to it, realizing that anyone with a womb can pretty much have them, babies, so Ling as they chose to bear the burden.

There is absolutely nothing special about the experience except the choice you made to go through it.

It's Simply means, giving birth to the poster is completely wasted sperm

Maxwell4404:
Its one of the greatest Achievement Man get from God..

From the same God who created some Eunuchs, made some to become Eunuchs in life and allowed some become Eunuchs for His sake - Matthew 19 vs 1 - 15?

Learn to leave God and His name out of the foolishness that is man and his ego.

Dindondin:
Sugomu, supo arogomu, oponu ayerada omo fobojona! Mo ri e sugbon o ju omo lasan lo!

Take it easy Now !

Are you a one Minute Man ?

Stop such situation with GNH POWER HOUSE Now ..Check my Signature Below

dfrost:
Whatever product or service you sell out there, you need someone's child to buy it else sales will drop. If you operate a hailed cab service, you sell petrol at a service station, you ply dango on Lagos roads, you need someone's child to patronize you.

So ask yourself that question you asked us again.

We need children to keep the ecosystem going. China tempered with the ecosystem and suffered for it. From one child policy to three children now.

My brother answer is what you make of it. Shalom.

You need children to keep the ecosystem that is 75% poverty rate with over 10,000,000 abandoned children on the streets of Nigeria going?

Sleeknigga:
Whats wrong with getting your tubes tied,sameway menopause takes away your eggs but men have no menopause its unheard of and even religiously wrong,

Maybe your planning to have bastard babies for your hubby

...for the gender that can birth kids until 100years, that can get several women pregnant at the same time, tell me who needs sterility more.

Chochochocho will be your end trust me.

greenie77:
" I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of."........

that part shocked aje

Spartachico007:
Not really but children are wonderful gift from God
Reason why I said not really is because person wey born ,na pikin go bury ham and person wey no born na still pikin go bury ham

10,000,000 of those wonderful gifts are abandoned and roaming the streets of Nigeria every day with no home in sight, so na God get hand for all that?

Arisenews2:
For a man, Yes. To keep your legacy.

So rather than a legacy to showcase your intelligence and contribution to advancement of humanity, what you leave behind is evidence that you copulation, something even animals do, while you were alive on this earth?

This has nothing to do with religion, it's the Fact we learn and study to know more, on Nairaland and anywhere else, My friend if you can't learn there are people who are willing to learn

Kobojunkiee:
From the same God who created some Eunuchs, made some to become Eunuchs in life and allowed some become Eunuchs for His sake - Matthew 19 vs 1 - 15?

Learn to leave God and His name out of the foolishness that is man and his ego.

paddyDIGITAL:
You wealth and possessions may be your achievement, but your children are your achievements and your future.

Children are no achievements. If those same children were to die before you or end up spending life in jail, will you also claim them as your achievements?

Newyorkitis:
In elementary social studies, here are the reasons for marriage.

1: Companionship
2: Procreation
3: Sexual satisfaction
4: Economic cooperation
Know this and no peace. Be you a male/female.

So, those who skip #2 entirely, and still enjoy marriage are what? Unmarried?