₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkiee:
So, those who skip #2 entirely, and still enjoy marriage are what? Unmarried?

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country...

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country...

Newyorkitis:
Lols... I'm just stating the reasons generally for marriage.
However, most of us if not because of having children, a lot of us will not get married in Africa.

Foodqueen:
True,but yet again, u might acquire all these and still go broke after marriage.

There is no particular time table to live, things happens. Table can turn on anyone at any time.

Dindondin:
Sue me to court if you are in pains!

Dindondin:
Sugomu, supo arogomu, oponu ayerada omo fobojona! Mo ri e sugbon o ju omo lasan lo!

tunapawizzy:
Achievement is personal ...What is an achievement to you may not be an achievement to me.... I am tilted towards thinking having children is an achievement, but I am also aware that not everyone will have children....To address your post and your neighbours, i think people should not put themselves under financial pressure in the name of wanting to have kids...dont bring a child to this life to suffer..nothing attractive in suffering.

ayubaski:
Will you just stay in ur bed room and the sperm just fly from ur dick and and enter the woman hole in the other room

Kobojunkiee:
Your children aren't your PERSONAL property since their existence is beyond yours so it is not up to you to decide them achievements or not.

They are instead burdens you chose to sign up for and when you do, you are expected by all in society to meet the expectation.

DSoj:
So why are u barking like a rabid dog now? Aja digbolugi

Hathor5:
I would not say it is an achievement but carrying a pregnancy and giving birth is hard work. At least for me. Some women claim it has been the most beautiful time of their lives. They are superwomen. I am not.

I see no problem in getting married early even though you are still building your life. You can build your lives together and support each other. But I would recommend those young couples to use family planning methods and wait with the kids until they can take care of them.

Kobojunkiee:
Every day in Nigeria, at least 1000,000 individuals - kids and adults alike -engage in sexual acts. For you to here claim credit for when conception takes place is ... astounding.

Kobojunkiee:
Children are no achievements. If those same children were to die before you or end up spending life in jail, will you also claim them as your achievements?

Foodqueen:
True,but yet again, u might acquire all these and still go broke after marriage.

There is no particular time table to live, things happens. Table can turn on anyone at any time.

Coming from a woman.......
Not surprised..

Supreme145:
Madam na my opinion, this is a forum and everyone is free to express his or her self. If you like breed like chickens it's not my business.

paddyDIGITAL:
Every good parent wishes to have children who do better is life, and outlive them, sustaining the family legacy. Are you hoping to have yours end up in jail, or die before you?

tensazangetsu20:
Besides men can marry anytime they want even at 80. I for one want to marry at 50. 50 because they say single people regret being single at 50. I am happy being single now but if I reach 50 and don't like it I go marry then at least I go don dey see better money probably as a software architect or CTO.

donbachi:
Op,fyi:

A richman of 60yrs with no child.
And a 3rd world man of 60yrs with children.

No be mate.
#Ahamefula.

tensazangetsu20:
Besides men can marry anytime they want even at 80. I for one want to marry at 50. 50 because they say single people regret being single at 50. I am happy being single now but if I reach 50 and don't like it I go marry then at least I go don dey see better money probably as a software architect or CTO.

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

freddaboh:
That's right. It's very wrong to even give birth to children you know you cannot take care of.

Klass99:
You are overkilling it! This is one of the best comments I have read on this thread and forum today.

Again, the highlights in bold be busting my head like kilode? Who are you? At least tell me if you are male or female. This kind of mindset is too rare and very unique, I like it