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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? (3654 Views)
My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened / How I Ended My Relationship With A Married Man / My Ex-Girlfriend Keeps Disturbing My Relationship (2) (3) (4)
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Winnerly: 1:49pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Anigreat: That’s how you know FatherChristmas is mad |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Dailyparrot: 1:54pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Supremedrizzy: This story looks fictitious maybe because of the perfect English and too much unnecessary details, nevertheless, we will still comment. The question is not going for made men but going for a man that never despises the days of little beginning and that understands what it means to start from somewhere. I never took a salary job after my NYSC but pre-NYSC, I took up a teaching job while trying my hand on freelancing until the freelancing paid off. The guy acts like a woman. It is only a man without self pride that will choose to remain jobless while girls bankroll him. Such a man will make a bad husband, trust me. Things don't always remain rosy in life and if he's not willing to compromise and start small, then there's a problem. The OP is a graduate and 25 years. Her time is passing already. It will get to a point where she will not be mingling with men easily due to her work schedule, so meeting a potential husband becomes difficult. Men are also trying to marry early these days, which will make the age to count against her soon. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by OSDD(m): 2:05pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Anigreat:I actually stopped reading it from that part also.... |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by faithfull18(f): 2:16pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Sweet story. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Justkatty(f): 2:19pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
He's just being lazy and proud and I also think you made him understand that you can shoulder all responsibilities. That's why I tell people money is unisex, it shouldn't be a man thing alone. Have you tried developing yourself? I see lust here maybe because of his physique, that guy na e type dey take time starch cloth, polish shoe dey deceive some person's with grammar and over starched clothes. I'll advise you improve yourself since he's not ready to start from somewhere. Sincerely you've tried especially the part you talked about him flirting with numerous girls. Try building yourself and be focus make e dey look for oyibo job I respect every man that does any responsible job to see his family happy. Laziness and big eyes has built duplex in his body. Anyways I wish you guys the best. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gracelander(f): 2:26pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
AsapTeddy:So I will just sit down and write a long fake story?? For what exactly?? Do people get paid to post here?? Please swerve if you don't have any reasonable contribution stop occupying space. 4 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gracelander(f): 2:32pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Xilsbridalhouse:During the infant stage of our relationship I actually got fed up and prayed that God should give me the strength to forget him if he's not mine, but if he's mine let him have a change of heart. He changed less than two weeks after that prayer I don't know if its a coincidence though. As per cheating I've never caught him, even when I went through his chats he always tells most girls that he has a girlfriend, whether I'm the one he's referring to is another thing. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gracelander(f): 2:35pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
moshmusth:He's been living in the apartment before we graduated, rent is expiring soon and I don't know how he intends to renew. We attended a university, He hardly cooks, the meals are mostly in take away packs which means its likely to be fast food meals |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gracelander(f): 2:41pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Dailyparrot:I don't have time to compose a fictitious story, as per the aspect of ladies bankrolling I don't have evidence to prove that, its just an assumption. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by shaybebaby(f): 2:42pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Gracelander:My take. You are too focused on him, what he is/ isn't doing etc. What about you in this whole mix? Asides feeling pressured to get married, what about your own dreams? 25 is still quite young, you are definitely not a finished product yet with many more things to learn about yourself and work towards achieving. If I were you, I'd take this time to focus on yourself and your personal growth. That's not to say, you have to break up with him, I'm asking you to look inward, identify the kind of life you want to build and start equipping yourself to achieve it. As you grow, he will either grow with you or be left behind as you realise that you are worth more than where you currently are. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Amanee(f): 2:45pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
One chance Keep wasting your time until you see his pre-wedding pictures with another woman 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gracelander(f): 2:46pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Justkatty:He's not lazy, in fact he's one of the most hard working guy I've met, but he sets the bar too high and kinda arrogant believing he's special. As for looks he's just there, tall and lanky with a handsome face, funny enough he dresses casual and hardly wears shoes. I've been developing myself and he's been the one pushing me, he actually made me a better woman. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Justkatty(f): 3:00pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Gracelander:I see So no room for alarm na.....just keep having the positive vibes. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gracelander(f): 3:10pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
shaybebaby:Thank you very much |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 3:55pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Gracelander:You are not sure if you are the one he is referring to ? Ask yourself this truth, who is putting in more efforts in this relationship? Truth is, if he is a programmer or learning one, chances of him getting a very very very good job that pays well is high and perhaps he also believes once he gets that international job, it will be easy for him to relocate and have kids outside Nigeria. I’d be honest with you, this is a good dream but do you fit in or does he really wants you to fit in this dream? I know that sometimes waiting for someone can be worth it but no one knows tomorrow. He won’t get married until he finds a good job. Keep praying please, you could have a 3-day vigil and pray that if he isn’t for you, your relationship with him should be over within 2 weeks. God answers prayers and I’m sure He will answer you as well. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by CAPSLOCKED: 3:55pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
shaybebaby: Gracelander PAY ATTENTION TO THE QUOTE ABOVE. FIRSTLY, YOU MUST TRY TO IMPROVE YOURSELF. THAT HAS TO BE YOUR PRIORITY. IF THE BOY GETS INTO A BIGGER POSITION TOMORROW AND YOU'RE WHERE YOU WERE YEARS AGO, HE'LL SURELY DUMP YOUR A$$. DON'T GO LOOKING FOR JOBS FOR HIM WHEN YOU CAN GET THOSE JOBS FOR YOURSELF. IF IT'S "MARRIAGE" THAT YOU WANT, BY ALL MEANS, GO FOR IT WITH THE NEXT AVAILABLE MAN BECAUSE I BELIEVE IF YOU'RE SINGLE AT 35 NOBODY WILL SPARE YOU FROM THE "EVERY NEWSPAPER" MOCKERY. IF IT'S YOUR BUSINESS WITH THIS GUY THAT YOU BELIEVE IN, YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE MARRIAGE IDEA ASIDE AND LET THIS BOY ACCOMPLISH HIS DREAMS AS LONG AS YOU STILL BELIEVE IN HIS COMMITMENT. AFTER SCHOOL/SERVICE I REFUSED TO TAKE UP ODD JOBS BECAUSE LIKE THIS PERSON, I BELIEVED IN MYSELF AND IMAGINED THAT I WORTH MORE. I LOST FRIENDS AND PARTNERS WHO WANTED MARRIAGE AND STUFF THAT I WAS TOO POOR TO GIVE, BUT LOOK TODAY SEVERAL MONTHS LATER I'M 1,000,000X BETTER THAN WHERE I USED TO BE AND THOSE THAT LEFT TO GET MARRIED AND SHĮT CAN ONLY BRAG OF ONLY MORE BODY COUNTS AS ACCOMPLISHMENTS. NO PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. NO MONEY. NO MARRIAGE. NOTHING. AS COMPLEX AS YOUR SITUATION MAY BE YOU HAVE TO TALK THINGS THROUGH WITH THIS PERSON AND REALLY JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND. A BLESSING OR A LESSON IN THE END, WHATEVER THE OUTCOME IS YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT. YOUR CALL TO MAKE. 4 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gracelander(f): 4:02pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
CAPSLOCKED:Thanks very much sir, I really appreciate your contribution. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Collinsemegreat(m): 5:34pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Your story is like the acrimony movie! Pray about it and most importantly focus on building a career and a live! |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Emmynator(m): 5:45pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
infogenius: So if the guy disappoints her, her heart will be broken and she will still pay you 1m |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by infogenius(m): 5:49pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Emmynator: Lol! I won't even talk about it or ask her. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Emmynator(m): 6:01pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
25 years is not young for a lady. @op roll your dice, he could disappoint you, very true. But what's to say leaving him will have a positive effect, perhaps you will enter the endless stream of dating, break ups, dating again and break up, till you're washed up and tired. Life is a gamble like that. No guarantees. If you trust the guy, then stay. Only you can determine if you actually trust him. But if you don't take his two years option early, simple. I respect the guy for giving a 2 year option, after which if he is not ready, he will release you to go, only a guy that has your best interest at heart will say that. Good luck in whatever choice you make, whatever the effect remember the other side too may have not ended up being rosy. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by frozen70(f): 6:02pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
Gracelander: You know what, that guy is a ladies man and he must always be in the mist of women, either they are the one going after him or he is the one that goes after ladies because he has the attributes of Mr Romantic His type will keep dreaming big yet he has no penny to execute it, all he is planning and saying to you is for your listening because that's what ladies wants to hear In the next 7 years, that guy is not ready to settle down because he gets lots of attention from women and he is ever ready, to give the women that comes around him a comfortable moment I think at the end of this year, you should decide to take a break from the relationship and reflect on yourself, if you will go on or not There are chances that, he will drop you for a younger girl in future because at his present age, marriage is not in his lexicon and won't be, that's how Casanova's and play boys do their things As far as this relationship is concerned, he is not loosing anything because he didn't invest in the relationship You will definitely find another guy if you decides to move on People like him are kept by women who loves being with a loving and sweet mouthed guy |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Emmynator(m): 6:04pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
infogenius:Lmaoooooo, if you try it, you may end up on front page. Man killed by heartbroken woman for demanding 1 million naira |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by daddytime(m): 6:20pm On Dec 28, 2021 |
This one na Thesis of insecurity... Shuooo 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by anthonyuncle(m): 2:00am On Dec 29, 2021 |
can you endure for the 2 years he asked of you? if you can't, then leave now |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by NoToPile: 3:42am On Dec 29, 2021 |
This guy looks like a player, don't waste your precious time with him, keep your options open, meet new people. You are even so insecured with him anyways so what's the point. So if he has money today and he asks you to marry him would you? someone that has a reputation of a string of ladies and not like he has repented fully or something. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by byteem: 6:59am On Dec 29, 2021 |
Let me cut it short .. move on.. the guys is 28 and ur 25.. he is a late bloomer who might never bloom. Cause he is lazy.. moving on might be difficult .. but il. Need to be strong and take the leap.. start by allowing other guys take u out .. experience affection from other people and ul realize he is not that special.. Plan b .. sit him down and ask him his plans for the next five years.. if he is a tech guy.. there is high demand for them by Nigerian companies .. he should stop building castles in the air and start form the bottom.. if he give a negative answer u know u have a lazy fool on ur hands run.. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by moshmusth(m): 7:43am On Dec 29, 2021 |
Gracelander: If he can afford apartment before graduation he should strives to keep it after grad or are you saying he will go back to his parent house when the current rent due expires? I like the fact that you believe in starting small. A uni grad earning 15k even me i no fit do am not to talk of your boyfriend but the answer is do you see prospect in him.. Prospect like these your current relationship is heading for marriage? The prospect that your girl is industrious and the tendecy to make it from the hustles Babe at 25, No put all your egg in one basket and please make sure your backup plan is really a getout and sure thing before opting out COMPLETELY from your current relationsip.... READ this part again. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by larryking78(m): 8:10am On Dec 29, 2021 |
Gracelander: Two options 1. To stay and make it work. Sit up and think on how to make it work, be deliberate since you have entered each other deeply, it's not a new relationship as far as am concern. You have seen deep into each other so settle down your soul and body, agree with your own self. That you are not beautiful is your own view, I may see you as my Queen. Anyone can see you as Miss Nigeria/Miss world. You are beautiful. Get that into your brain. 2. Leave him. If you agree to leave him, take note you may wait for another 6years or less to find love in another person. Count the cost, at same time you have that chance to also find a man who will give you 100% attention, someone you will love deep down and love deep down without compromise. The ball is in your court. |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Gbengageorge: 11:15am On May 28, 2022 |
I can feel you. I guess it's your prayer that works. Do another one for him for this job part. If he stays in Lagos, and since he is a graduate he should go and look for intern job as a programmer. He should not look at money if it is small. All he need is information in the right direction not just wishes. He should look for mentors, because his dreams are achievable. I am in the IT field and I know it is possible to get those jobs but you must be really good at what you do. Gracelander: |
Re: I Don't Know Where My Relationship Is Headed, Is He Playing Me? by Dpsychologist: 1:08pm On May 28, 2022 |
This is what happens when a lady finally meets her ideal man. She ends up being a simp. Who knows how many times they have got down and may be have aborted for him. Same lady that has been rejecting other guys. She even said she don't like guys while growing up. |
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