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Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by techWriter3: 9:13pm On Dec 28, 2021
My children knewn't locomotive me to wanna a woman wannaater.Pls Help.
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by gregyboy(m): 9:33pm On Dec 28, 2021
jesmond3945:
She is a slay mama. Cravings are normal, there is nothing you can do. Please leave the telly for her till she gives birth. Try to minimize her chores as much as you can. If she goes out of shape, please love her like that. You married inside not her body. If she gives birth buy her the car, it would help her to carry your baby around. Her laziness is just a slay mama trait. You are her ticket to a good and stress free life.


Lol, this men see this coming even their friends may have warned them but them say them get strong head na wetin dey their mind dem go do

They wouldn't tell you how they end up in this situation they will only tell you the aftermath

Am sure the lady married him for reasons know to her...

4 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by guru03(m): 9:52pm On Dec 28, 2021
You have a long way to go.
1. Start cutting the payments you give her, in other words start shopping Yourself.
2. Start investing your money in another means, she can't help you to grow rather she can make you poor.
3. You need to stand firm in some decisions if not you can't control her excesses.
4. You need to call your sponsor to advise her, or you need to talk to someone she revere so they can talk sense into her, failing to comply you may take some action she might not like.
5. Pray that God give you the grace to handle this with wisdom.

8 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by engrsyer(m): 10:50pm On Dec 28, 2021
Fred166:
I married my beautiful wife January this year, I Love my wife so much, I have never cheated on her since we got married. I opened a business for her worth 900k. i've already promised her a car this coming year (well I ride camry muscle and I'm tired of sharing the car with her).

My wife is too lazy, all she cares about is her eye lashes, make-up, nails and watching Zeeworld all day, She goes to her shop 10am and return 3pm, She barely take care of the house. Sometimes the plate I used for breakfast before going to work would still be on the dining table unwashed when I return. Her make-up tools and bag littered everywhere in our sitting room.

We're expecting our 1st child, Now that She's pregnant (4 months) she's worst. Na so so chop chop, I will jokingly say babe Pls don't go out of shape I won't look ur side again, Is like the more I beg, the more she chop chop. ...weird food carvings. Coconut water and bread, shawarma and pepper soup with sugar cane in her hand, I dare not buy it for her otherwise I won't sleep.

I still cook when I'm back from work. Anytime I tried to talk to her, she would say can't I see she's pregnant, she's having waist pain, leg pain, Infact body pains. I wanted to employ a maid she refused, she spoke ill about maids, she said they are husband snatchers e.t.c.

3 days ago, She asked me to renew our dstv sub and I refused. Yesterday I noticed she has done it (first time). I saw her watching Zeeworld, laughing sheepishly and pointing to the TV, I needed to watch man united match so I changed the channel, she dragged the remote control from me and changed it back to Zeeworld, she said I'm too stingy, I didn't sub for her, I refused to buy her a car.

I don't know what to do. With her lazy attitude I'm scared during delivery she would be saying I can't push o.

Experienced men help a brother.
Bro you got married to a slay queen and not a wife. Possibly her beauty as you described it is the only box you have to tick before marrying her. Bro you have entered one chance but it is not late to correct this mess.

She is pregnant now and that would be her weapon she would use it against you but you have to devise to a diplomatic means to correct the mess. For you to get some things right you have to act as a man, starve her of some certain privileges she is having even if it will inconvenience you fortunately that's part of the cost you will pay for marrying a slay queen and transforming her to a wife. Privileges like if you are using Prepaid Meter when the units run out don't subscribe, don't also subscribe for your DSTV, don't buy fuel if u have generator, put a close look for the business you opened for her tell her you want to get report from the business daily and if the report is not satisfactory you take over from it or go on temporary close down.

Don't forget that continuous dialogue and negotiations is very important too but why doing that you have to wake her up to her responsibilities in the house and until you see a change in her you won't do what you are suppose to do in the house except feeding. You have to cease her cosmetics and hide it.

Bro if you dont take drastic actions now (but not to beat her or divorce) you will die before your time due to heart attack or you may end up having another home just because of your peace of mind that you want.

It is a pity that you are experiencing this but that's who she is that is what she is exhibiting.
Four months pregnancy is not big enough for she to start talking of waist pain besides it is part of an exercise to keep the nerves active. If she don't control what she puts in her mouth to push might be a problem. Though many girls(ladies) are not strong enough to push like our older parents because of too much fatty foods they eat these days.

May God help you but no running away from this. Like my elder brother once told me when i was marrying my wife: he said i am signing off my freedom and also i don enter be say i don enter, no running out.

7 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by GboyegaD(m): 12:17am On Dec 29, 2021
What I don't understand is how from January to maybe August that she conceived this wasn't nipped in the bud. How does she go to shop from 10am to 3pm? Is she selling nursery school children snacks?

You also have your fault. As an adult you can't eat breakfast and leave the plates on the dining table to go to work. That is disrespectful and not a clean behavior which could have fueled her behavior to mess up the home as well.

7 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by MOROVINA: 2:07am On Dec 29, 2021
jesmond3945:
She is a slay mama. Cravings are normal, there is nothing you can do. Please leave the telly for her till she gives birth. Try to minimize her chores as much as you can. If she goes out of shape, please love her like that. You married inside not her body. If she gives birth buy her the car, it would help her to carry your baby around. Her laziness is just a slay mama trait. You are her ticket to a good and stress free life.

OP... See this

2 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by MOROVINA: 2:16am On Dec 29, 2021
udoji2021:


You just made me to remember those days when my wife was pregnant. It's a phase which will pass sir.

Yours is even small compared to how my own wife use to behave and even go violent atimes. Pls endure and thank me later.

And this...


Unfortunately most of the people commenting on your post aren't those you called their attention to it.


First, you stated she has been lazy before getting pregnant, that is a trait you need to let her work on, some who are saying she sees you as her ticket may be right but it is marriage... Two imperfect people come into it, they never get perfect but if the marriage means something to her, she will work on herself.

Women are wired differently my wife's experience with our first child wasn't like your wife's, it was stressful though cos we were going in and out of hospital up till about the 6th month or thereabout, she was always throwing up, even if she drinks water, it was really serious, so maybe you should thank God yours is eating whatever she finds and you are not sleeping and waking up at the clinic.... Like someone said it's a phase and that's the way her own system is reacting to the change in her body.

Some other excesses may come with her present state bear it, but if it translates to an habit, that is after putting to bed she doesn't stop, then COMMUNICATE.

You may not find what you seek on nairaland... My2cents.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by NoToPile: 3:48am On Dec 29, 2021
spice123:

Women are wired differently from men.
Pregnancy is not an easy thing to bear my brother so you have cut her some slack. Remember it's her first pregnancy so try and pet her. As soon as she put to bed and weans the child after 3-5 months, sit her down and iron things out with her. Share the house bills with her such that if she refuses to contribute from the shop, the house will suffer. It can be electricity bill or gas bill. Make her understand that she has to take care of you as her husband by making your meals and cleaning the house otherwise you employ someone who will do it and she pays the bill for it. She can't eat her cake and have it. That is marriage.

Loool at the bolded
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Rickmann: 7:05am On Dec 29, 2021
Fred166:
I married my beautiful wife January this year, I Love my wife so much, I have never cheated on her since we got married. I opened a business for her worth 900k. i've already promised her a car this coming year (well I ride camry muscle and I'm tired of sharing the car with her).

My wife is too lazy, all she cares about is her eye lashes, make-up, nails and watching Zeeworld all day, She goes to her shop 10am and return 3pm, She barely take care of the house. Sometimes the plate I used for breakfast before going to work would still be on the dining table unwashed when I return. Her make-up tools and bag littered everywhere in our sitting room.

We're expecting our 1st child, Now that She's pregnant (4 months) she's worst. Na so so chop chop, I will jokingly say babe Pls don't go out of shape I won't look ur side again, Is like the more I beg, the more she chop chop. ...weird food carvings. Coconut water and bread, shawarma and pepper soup with sugar cane in her hand, I dare not buy it for her otherwise I won't sleep.

I still cook when I'm back from work. Anytime I tried to talk to her, she would say can't I see she's pregnant, she's having waist pain, leg pain, Infact body pains. I wanted to employ a maid she refused, she spoke ill about maids, she said they are husband snatchers e.t.c.

3 days ago, She asked me to renew our dstv sub and I refused. Yesterday I noticed she has done it (first time). I saw her watching Zeeworld, laughing sheepishly and pointing to the TV, I needed to watch man united match so I changed the channel, she dragged the remote control from me and changed it back to Zeeworld, she said I'm too stingy, I didn't sub for her, I refused to buy her a car.

I don't know what to do. With her lazy attitude I'm scared during delivery she would be saying I can't push o.

Experienced men help a brother.

My question is what we're you doing during ur dating phase with her? Weren't you sensitive enough to observe she was lazy? U see that's the problem with most men, you get carried away and hooked by looks, boobs and her backside just before marriage.. mind you, that's exactly what she wants and then after marriage, reality sets in and the real issues begin to surface and then u come running to nairaland.

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by MufasaLion: 7:11am On Dec 29, 2021
You used all your dating/courtship to have sex and fun but neglected the important things you should have observed. Well, there's nothing you can do other than to continue living with the lazy gluttonous woman you married.

Just get ready to be the housekeeper immediately after child delivery.

1 Like

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by lereinter(m): 7:20am On Dec 29, 2021
Reduce your frivolous spending on her so she can learn

Like they say in soccer

Tell,teach and train

Don't be tired continue speaking

1 Like

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by larryking78(m): 7:37am On Dec 29, 2021
NovesaTillie:
You married a slay queen like me and you want her to be a full wife Material undecided

You don't have many options now than to make do with the content in the package you came home with.
To harsh a comment on someone who needs advice. Say sorry

2 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by pointblank247(m): 7:44am On Dec 29, 2021
There are ways to use her fears to cure the madness.

First make it clear to her that you will only buy her a car as promotion for doing well in the business you started for her in other words if that business dosent grow, don't buy her the car or you will only be reinforcing her laziness..

There is nothing wrong with a man washing the plates or taking care of the house once in a while, but in yiur case, stop it completely, if she can't handle that, go and get a house help and insist that it's the House help or she play her role properly.

With that kind of wife you need to be firm in your deslcisions or you loose your manliness before long

5 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by VOsimhen144(m): 7:51am On Dec 29, 2021
techWriter3:
My children knewn't locomotive me to wanna a woman wannaater.Pls Help.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Richy4(m): 9:14am On Dec 29, 2021
GboyegaD:
What I don't understand is how from January to maybe August that she coincided this want nipped in the bud. How does she go to shop from 10am to 3pm? Is she selling nursery school children snacks?

You also have your fault. As an adult you can't eat breakfast and leave the plates on the dining table to go to work. That is disrespectful and not a clean behavior which could have fueled her behavior to mess up the home as well.

shocked Are you for real? as in really?
Look buddy, If u are looking for a reason to hang the OP, there are many based on his foresight challenges... but this definitely is not included ...were u insinuating that a wife will be at home watching movies, OP will finish his breakfast and start washing the dishes before he goes to work? haba!!! Oga hankali
smiley

5 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Curious345: 9:29am On Dec 29, 2021
Fred166:
I married my beautiful wife January this year, I Love my wife so much, I have never cheated on her since we got married. I opened a business for her worth 900k. i've already promised her a car this coming year (well I ride camry muscle and I'm tired of sharing the car with her).

My wife is too lazy, all she cares about is her eye lashes, make-up, nails and watching Zeeworld all day, She goes to her shop 10am and return 3pm, She barely take care of the house. Sometimes the plate I used for breakfast before going to work would still be on the dining table unwashed when I return. Her make-up tools and bag littered everywhere in our sitting room.

We're expecting our 1st child, Now that She's pregnant (4 months) she's worst. Na so so chop chop, I will jokingly say babe Pls don't go out of shape I won't look ur side again, Is like the more I beg, the more she chop chop. ...weird food carvings. Coconut water and bread, shawarma and pepper soup with sugar cane in her hand, I dare not buy it for her otherwise I won't sleep.

I still cook when I'm back from work. Anytime I tried to talk to her, she would say can't I see she's pregnant, she's having waist pain, leg pain, Infact body pains. I wanted to employ a maid she refused, she spoke ill about maids, she said they are husband snatchers e.t.c.

3 days ago, She asked me to renew our dstv sub and I refused. Yesterday I noticed she has done it (first time). I saw her watching Zeeworld, laughing sheepishly and pointing to the TV, I needed to watch man united match so I changed the channel, she dragged the remote control from me and changed it back to Zeeworld, she said I'm too stingy, I didn't sub for her, I refused to buy her a car.

I don't know what to do. With her lazy attitude I'm scared during delivery she would be saying I can't push o.

Experienced men help a brother.
what church do you attend

1 Like

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Daxyd4realzy(m): 10:26am On Dec 29, 2021
Enjoy your beautiful slay queen in peace!

No Peace to Simps

6 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by teegurl2(f): 10:29am On Dec 29, 2021
But what's with all the He married a fine girl Slay queen bla bla, and fine girls don't cook and clean?
Na wa!

So na only ugly girls without big nyansh dey cook and clean?

Am a fine girl please. I have two kids! I have a help but I do all the cooking, I clean sometimes too cos my husband is a neat freak so everywhere must be neat at all times.

This holiday season my help left, I have been doing ALL. When you see me outside without my kids you won't even believe am married.

So it's not about Slay Queen abeg.

That lady is just lazy or she prolly has not settled into marriage life yet.

Secondly, a lady that is already working before marriage will make a better wife. Cos she don see life, she no go dey waste money anyhow.

22 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Daxyd4realzy(m): 10:33am On Dec 29, 2021
Mr. Man nobody is saying you should be a woman beater! You can't control your woman, such a Shame and disgusting!

No Peace to Simps

Fred166:
My parents didn't train me to be a woman beater.

Pls Help.

1 Like

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by firstbornson(m): 11:01am On Dec 29, 2021
You married a baby girl. Even with all the karashika behavior you still love her...kudos.

Pregnancy is a different thing all together. Even dutiful wives can give you wahala when pregnant. Bare with her.

I worry your house is going to become a dustbin after she gets birth, if she can't keep it clean now.

Get a mature house maid to help her.

After she gives birth, have a talk with her. Buy her car Biko.

2 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by GboyegaD(m): 12:12pm On Dec 29, 2021
Richy4:


shocked Are you for real? as in really?
Look buddy, If u are looking for a reason to hang the OP, there are many based on his foresight challenges... but this definitely is not included ...were u insinuating that a wife will be at home watching movies, OP will finish his breakfast and start washing the dishes before he goes to work? haba!!! Oga hankali
smiley

Does taking the dish to the kitchen means he should wash it? If he does it isn't a crime. It is disrespectful to leave your plates on the dining table. You should clean up after yourself which means when you are done eating, just take the dish to the appropriate place it should be and not create a litter.

6 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Elporo(m): 12:15pm On Dec 29, 2021
Fred166:


Experienced men help a brother.


I would be bothered if she spent more time on her cellphone or comes home late from the shop.

2 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Richy4(m): 12:47pm On Dec 29, 2021
GboyegaD:


Does taking the dish to the kitchen means he should wash it? If he does it isn't a crime. It is disrespectful to leave your plates on the dining table. You should clean up after yourself which means when you are done eating, just take the dish to the appropriate place it should be and not create a litter.

Honestly there's nothing disrespectful and offensive about a wife that removed a plate that the husband used in eating....Many stay at home mums and wives will gladly do it...That does not make anyone inferior or superior... It is called helping with love which u clearly can't understand...
Every efficient stay at home wife will help in making sure that the husband goes to work on time....Removing a plate that the husband used in eating inclusive ...Maybe u got another definition of disrespect that I wasn't getting.....

2 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by GboyegaD(m): 1:29pm On Dec 29, 2021
Richy4:


Honestly there's nothing disrespectful and offensive about a wife that removed a plate that the husband used in eating....Many stay at home mums and wives will gladly do it...That does not make anyone inferior or superior... It is called helping with love which u clearly can't understand...
Every efficient stay at home wife will help in making sure that the husband goes to work on time....Removing a plate that the husband used in eating inclusive ...Maybe u got another definition of disrespect that I wasn't getting.....

I will let this rest as our thoughts wouldn't align in this regard.
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by cooooooks(m): 1:50pm On Dec 29, 2021
Some slay queens cook better than Amaka in the village. It's not by slay queen.

He married her despite her inability in being a productive human being.

Was she into runs? Is she basically telling him, "if you complain too much, I'll go back to runs. I'll make the monthly shop money in a week or less for much less effort"

NovesaTillie:
You married a slay queen like me and you want her to be a full wife Material undecided

You don't have many options now than to make do with the content in the package you came home with.
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Nobody: 2:12pm On Dec 29, 2021
I guess I'm the only lady that does not fancy zeeworld ,oga just be patient with her if possible get her a maid .
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Rachel98(f): 2:30pm On Dec 29, 2021
cooooooks:
Some slay queens cook better than Amaka in the village. It's not by slay queen.

He married her despite her inability in being a productive human being.

Was she into runs? Is she basically telling him, "if you complain too much, I'll go back to runs. I'll make the monthly shop money in a week or less for much less effort"

from what I read just now, I don't think she's into runz, she don't come home late at night.

she's naturally too lazy, who goes to shop at 10am and still come back 3pm. Atleast 5 or 6pm would have been okay for her. Probably she's from those ajebota home.

@op for now, take things easy with her for the sake of her pregnancy. After delivering Give her some responsibilities at home like re-filling of gas and dstv subscription. I also suggest you get a maid.

3 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Nobody: 3:35pm On Dec 29, 2021
NovesaTillie:
You married a slay queen like me and you want her to be a full wife Material undecided

You don't have many options now than to make do with the content in the package you came home with.

I concur.
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by blazepascal(m): 3:36pm On Dec 29, 2021
You married a slay queen well just carry ur cross we men are becoming too weak ..there was a day I was talking to my girly she was just pressing her phone ignoring me ..i landed her a big slap as a gentle man and a mix of bad guy I don't tolerate rubbish

2 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Kobojunkie: 3:37pm On Dec 29, 2021
Richy4:
shocked Are you for real? as in really?
Look buddy, If u are looking for a reason to hang the OP, there are many based on his foresight challenges... but this definitely is not included ...were u insinuating that a wife will be at home watching movies, OP will finish his breakfast and start washing the dishes before he goes to work? haba!!! Oga hankali
smiley
I actually see where GboyegaD is going with this. undecided
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Kobojunkie: 3:42pm On Dec 29, 2021
Richy4:
Honestly there's nothing disrespectful and offensive about a wife that removed a plate that the husband used in eating....Many stay at home mums and wives will gladly do it ...That does not make anyone inferior or superior... It is called helping with love which u clearly can't understand...
Every efficient stay at home wife will help in making sure that the husband goes to work on time....Removing a plate that the husband used in eating inclusive ...Maybe u got another definition of disrespect that I wasn't getting.....
The same "helping with love" that turned our mothers into glorified househelps for their husbands, that even to this day, the average Nigerian man, not only thinks but believes that marriage installs him as a god freed from responsibility of doing many of the same chores he did all by himself as a single man? undecided

Let's not get these things tangled up abeg! undecided

By the way, the OP'S woman is not a stay-at-home woman and there is nothing in the marriage contract that stipulates a wife's job is to clean up after her husband. They could, as a couple come to that agreement of their own, but it ain't written somewhere in the terms and conditions of marriage that it ought to be so. undecided

6 Likes

Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Nobody: 9:17pm On Dec 29, 2021
Kobojunkie:
The same "helping with love" that turned our mothers into glorified househelps for their husbands, that even to this day, the average Nigerian man, not only thinks but believes that marriage installs him as a god freed from responsibility of doing many of the same chores he did all by himself as a single man? undecided

Let's not get these things tangled up abeg! undecided

By the way, the OP'S woman is not a stay-at-home woman and there is nothing in the marriage contract that stipulates a wife's job is to clean up after her husband. They could, as a couple come to that agreement of their own, but it ain't written somewhere in the terms and conditions of marriage that it ought to be so. undecided

Thread carefully lest you be called a simp by Nairaland warriors.

2 Likes

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