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That gal is a flirt, she is a type that want attention from various men but finds it difficult to commit he will always manipulate you if you are so nice and a simp if you can't handle being a simp and giving her attention while she dumps you for another relationship avoid her completely.

I believe you're not here asking for advise, because you've said you've come to peace with stand on the relationship issue and you're not communicating her anymore.


So this post is to shed more light on why females friend zone guys.

I'll start by saying, take the redpill, it would bring enlightenment and answers to all this questions even tho it's a chunk of bitter truths, many can't swallow so they rather hate on it.

Do you have an idea of how many guys toast a girl in a week ?
Do you know how many guys texts or call them in just a day
Talkless of when she now posts pictures online

OP you're never the only guy interested in a babe, she knows this , and she's aware better guys would still come after you've gone, so it's safer to keep you as a friend , at least she would be entitled to your friendship and other benefits, without her commiting to you. Because a babe said let's be friends, doesn't mean she likes you, she only knows you could be useful.


Ask yourself one very honest but simple question,
What do female friends do for their male friend

I'm not talking bout their boyfriend's or besties , I mean just one thing that we all know they do for their friends.

So before you agree to be friends with a lady ask yourself, What would this friendship add to my life.
Are you going to be hanging out, are you guys going to sharing life issues together.
What exactly do you need the friendship for ?
Are you a simp or someone that can't just say no.


This is 2022
You don't have to identify as a red piller but please get exposed to the red pill , read and broaden your perspective .

Applied knowledge is power
If you don't always know you'd always be weak

Lastly if a lady loves you or is into you, it would be as clear as the sun, no such thing as confusion.
You'd know .


The moment something between a lady starts getting confusing, just quit it and move.

That's the simplest red flag to identify

Fiscus105:
Friend to them is that they put u on wishing list, the day they would be stranded, they upgrade you as substantial.

A lady told me that on Facebook group sometimes ago, she said she can never be stranded ,because several guys are on her wishing list either physically or on social media, that she just need is to activate and upgrade him.
..........and trust naija guys, immediately the girl say hi, even if its after 6 years of abandonment, he will be happy and quickly jump to the offer.

That's why they usually labeled naija as "most cheapest" commodity in the whole universe!

Exactly. I don't want to be that kind of guy cos I know THAT THEY ALWAYS COME BACK, ALWAYS. and so I just kuku let her know that I am off her list abeg and make she no carry that nonsense come to my side. I told her I would prefer to be with another lady... she has not responded since then but read my message.

Initially, I thought of just keeping my distance but I also know that she will buzz me one day and try to do what you explained above. I actually thought of blocking her if that happens but what's the point? It is best to just tell her I am off so that she does not even try it. The whole thing is annoying.

I just had to find another lady who is willing and has been effective as well since. Make everybody rest.

helinues:
Some guys are yet to understand the nature of Ladies..

That you look good, financially stable doesn't necessarily mean all ladies would like/love you.

If a lady is in love, you would experience it yourself without even forcing her.

You might not be her type

She is not my type lol...

CreepyBlackpool:
They want to enjoy the benefits thar comes with your friendship still. And also keep you as a spare tyre, in case the person they want serves them breakfast they'll come back to you to take care of them till they find someone else.

She'll still come back in a few weeks or months, to ask you "do you still like/love me?"

All na manipulations

Lol you just reminded me of an ex that asked me this... lmaoo. that one is still hoping till date.

GoodHardDick:
Simps will always be simps no Matter what!!

Oga She's only trying to control and manipulate you. that's how they behave towards Simps and weak men. She wants to make you a second or third option, should in case anything goes wrong with her current boyfriend, then she'll subscribe to you and keep cashing out

You better use your head, this is a new year and no guy is expected to simp around.

Bros, it is why I prefer to do make it known that I am off her radar instead of just going silent. It is to avoid the nonsense you describe above and I initially want to block her if she does that but what is the point? Make I kuku tell her straight. I don't like such mind and manipulative nonsense.

So, I just told her I am seeing someone else already.

Sonnobax15:
At your own riisk

he is actually right... but I am not a simp. I made that clear to her.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
She might not want to hurt you tho..it's her choice not to date you why not respect that..
If she wanna be friends with you that's cool..

I don't want to be around her anymore. We are not quarreling... but I know what she is doing which why I ended up telling her that I am with someone else already. So that she does not think I will be doing all those things... I told her clearly that I am no long cut out for such things... She just wants the attention...

SmartMen:
I don't want to be around her anymore. We are not quarreling... but I know what she is doing which why I ended up telling her that I am with someone else already. So that she does not think I will be doing all those things... I told her clearly that I am no long cut out for such things... She just wants the attention...

Good if you wanna leave her..it's all your choice and you know that..
You don't have to please her to make yourself uncomfortable..

gift0123:
That gal is a flirt, she is a type that want attention from various men but finds it difficult to commit he will always manipulate you if you are so nice and a simp if you can't handle being a simp and giving her attention while she dumps you for another relationship avoid her completely.

Obviously. BUT hope I didn't do anything wrong by letting her know am already seeing someone else? I dont want her to come looking for me and that is why I did that.

SmartMen:
Obviously. BUT hope I didn't do anything wrong by letting her know am already seeing someone else? I dont want her to come looking for me and that is why I did that.

Chai see himoo, you are a good man, and you still have a soft spot for her, no wonder that girl is preying on you. Please she doesn't love you, and you did nothing wrong by telling her that you are seeing someone else, mind you.. telling her that you have another date won't stop her from coming back, babe is just trying to get some attention and you are weak.

Ajmoziz:
Let me paint a picture for you as the reason
Suppose for the sake of this example that you have this female friend,that buys you food anytime you meet,calls you , trying to find out how you doing,just plain shows you tender loving care,would you date her knowing that if you break up,you lose access to all these freebies but if you continue as it is,you have access to these things, possibly for ever that's why she wants to be friends,she wants to enjoy.
Then for op, what he should tell the girl is that he can't be friends with someone he is attracted to,that if you are friends,she allowed to date someone else and he doesn't think he can handle that so it's best if they end it right here right now

See, with this kind of girls, they will come back months later looking for you... The signs are there. I don't want that and I don't like that. if i decide to wait for her to reach out after some months, with the way I feel about it all, my most immediate action would be to block her. It is annoying and childish.

Bros, I told her I would rather process things with another lady going forward. She thought she was the only one with options...

Someone said this:
Dear friendships of life,
I will hate more than anything to wake up one day and find that I can no longer call you, chat you up, play with you, feel free with you like we used to because you picked romantic interest in me and I turned it down.

It will be so painful to see your WhatsApp story and then after typing a lengthy funny response, I will then pause to think and then go ahead to delete the message on remembering that we are not as we use to be.

It will be sad to soil the friendship we have built over the years because one of us did not understand that God did not put everyone in our life for us to date, no matter how beautiful the friendship might be.

I know there is this pressure to get married from your end but please hold your fire.

Maybe it is not even marriage pressure. It could be a longing to fish in love waters but we must not fish together.

You might want to ask 'what then happens to marry your friend?'

That might be correct. You should marry your friend but unfortunately, that friend is not me

And this doesn't mean you should shut the door on our friendship. That will be repeating the mistake many other persons are making.

Young folks are missing out on amazing valuable relationships because immediately we get close to someone and start building a beautiful friendship, the closeness can easily be misinterpreted to mean that the other party has feelings for us.

And that can stir us up to want to try and make a move to explore love waters.

When things don't go as we expect, we start reacting from mismatch or unmet expectations.

And then the 'what are we?' questions will follow.

But I don't understand. I thought we were friends? Which one is 'what are we?'

Ain't you supposed to assume nothing until I say something? Abi you're dating me without my permission?

And from experience, almost all the time, this is where we begin to bury opportunities, close important doors, and short change ourselves

Only to wake up one day to discover we wasted our angels simply because we didn't understand that not all beautiful friendships should evolve into a romantic relationship.

In my opinion 90% of the time, those friendships should stay as just friendships

History is filled with beautiful friendship stories that turned sour because of this.

Think of some of the most beautiful friendships that lack of discernment made you convert into love affairs.

How did they end?

Sometimes, it wasn't even a heartbreak that happened, maybe both of you just didn't work out and because of that, you have drifted apart.

You drifted so far apart that the value you would have gained from your friendship has now been truncated.

This is 2022

Don't waste another angel. Be discerning!

Protect your friendships. If a relationship leading towards marriage is what God wants, He will find a way to put the puzzles together, even when you both go ahead dating other people.

Don't immediately turn the next beautiful friendship into a soul mate searching adventure. Calm down. Your soul mate might still be under a bridge in Ajegunle and perhaps this next friendship is what might connect the dot for you.

Master the act of providing values in your friendship without fantasizing about matrimony and baecation in Maimi.

Value people.

Stick to the purpose of that friendship

Practice self-control

And learn to hold your body

So, my friendship of life, like I was saying before I got distracted, those your dreams of doing pyjamas photshot with matching pyjamas, hold them first.

It is not me and you that will do that pyjamas shot becasue I don't even like pyjamas�

And if I have been ignorantly leading you on all the while, please let this note say all the things I am too shy to say to your face.

Yours,
Potential Monk in the monastery.

If this post bless you, please share to provoke sanity for someone else

Walk on gold
Philip Emmanuel

akinade28:
Someone said this:
Dear friendships of life,
I will hate more than anything to wake up one day and find that I can no longer call you, chat you up, play with you, feel free with you like we used to because you picked romantic interest in me and I turned it down.

It will be so painful to see your WhatsApp story and then after typing a lengthy funny response, I will then pause to think and then go ahead to delete the message on remembering that we are not as we use to be.

It will be sad to soil the friendship we have built over the years because one of us did not understand that God did not put everyone in our life for us to date, no matter how beautiful the friendship might be.

I know there is this pressure to get married from your end but please hold your fire.

Maybe it is not even marriage pressure. It could be a longing to fish in love waters but we must not fish together.

You might want to ask 'what then happens to marry your friend?'

That might be correct. You should marry your friend but unfortunately, that friend is not me

And this doesn't mean you should shut the door on our friendship. That will be repeating the mistake many other persons are making.

Young folks are missing out on amazing valuable relationships because immediately we get close to someone and start building a beautiful friendship, the closeness can easily be misinterpreted to mean that the other party has feelings for us.

And that can stir us up to want to try and make a move to explore love waters.

When things don't go as we expect, we start reacting from mismatch or unmet expectations.

And then the 'what are we?' questions will follow.

But I don't understand. I thought we were friends? Which one is 'what are we?'

Ain't you supposed to assume nothing until I say something? Abi you're dating me without my permission?

And from experience, almost all the time, this is where we begin to bury opportunities, close important doors, and short change ourselves

Only to wake up one day to discover we wasted our angels simply because we didn't understand that not all beautiful friendships should evolve into a romantic relationship.

In my opinion 90% of the time, those friendships should stay as just friendships

History is filled with beautiful friendship stories that turned sour because of this.

Think of some of the most beautiful friendships that lack of discernment made you convert into love affairs.

How did they end?

Sometimes, it wasn't even a heartbreak that happened, maybe both of you just didn't work out and because of that, you have drifted apart.

You drifted so far apart that the value you would have gained from your friendship has now been truncated.

This is 2022

Don't waste another angel. Be discerning!

Protect your friendships. If a relationship leading towards marriage is what God wants, He will find a way to put the puzzles together, even when you both go ahead dating other people.

Don't immediately turn the next beautiful friendship into a soul mate searching adventure. Calm down. Your soul mate might still be under a bridge in Ajegunle and perhaps this next friendship is what might connect the dot for you.

Master the act of providing values in your friendship without fantasizing about matrimony and baecation in Maimi.

Value people.

Stick to the purpose of that friendship

Practice self-control

And learn to hold your body

So, my friendship of life, like I was saying before I got distracted, those your dreams of doing pyjamas photshot with matching pyjamas, hold them first.

It is not me and you that will do that pyjamas shot becasue I don't even like pyjamas�

And if I have been ignorantly leading you on all the while, please let this note say all the things I am too shy to say to your face.

Yours,
Potential Monk in the monastery.

If this post bless you, please share to provoke sanity for someone else

Walk on gold
Philip Emmanuel

Thanks... even the friendship, she was not doing anything about it.... I am not so stupid to be making efforts where the other does not want to.

Yes, she changed but had time to go out with others and even party. I don't want to be around her anymore to nurture her attention desires.

How do you keep being friends with someone that does not even buzz you for more than 5 months and you are the one doing the buzzing, the calls, the texting?

Am I that useless that I can't get another girl? Funny, quite funny!

If I mentioned what she said here, a lot of guys will laugh at me but in there you will see someone that has become too pompous because she thinks I am desperate.

Abeg make she carry her friendship out of my sight. I too I am important.

A creature that has a weird odour of pussy, and the blood that comes out from there also smells...

Then how on earth do you beg such creature....

Overcome sex and lust.
Then you will see women as chaffs.

SmartMen:
But why do girls insist on being friends when a guy says he will prefer to walk away and they don't want to date him? I will appreciate more experience guys to answer this one.

Cuz one way or the other he will still be useful, be it attention, favour or what not.

gift0123:
Chai see himoo, you are a good man, and you still have a soft spot for her, no wonder that girl is preying on you. Please she doesn't love you, and you did nothing wrong by telling her that you are seeing someone else, mind you.. telling her that you have another date won't stop her from coming back, babe is just trying to get some attention and you are weak.

lol... not that I am weak bro. I am okay with the current babe, we are working on developing ourselves. It is all about self-development for us. I am at peace. We will be working to build a career in tech industry... and I will pay for a course for both of us the week.

The current babe is actually much prettier, taller, shaper. I am not exaggerating.

I only asked hope I didn't do anything wrong because sometimes, they would say eh... he couldn't be patient or all those manipulative words, you get?

I honestly hate the idea of her coming to look for me cos I know it will happen, which is why I chose not to silently move on.

She telling me to still be friends is manipulative and we all know that. She had hoped I would stay around and continue doing all those things I used to do without getting another girl. So letting her know I had moved on with another girl would at least erase that from her brain.

And yes, I did things nice guys do which earned me this result. However, we are now both clear on the state of things between us.

Sadly, she is from my state but the other lady who is from Akwa Ibom values me more even though I have not spent ONE NAIRA on her as I did to the other one.

I actually made a decision not to.

She appreciates little things I have done and also proved that it is not until a man spends money that he would be appreciated.

qtguru:
Cuz one way or the other he will still be useful, be it attention, favour or what not.

yeah... absolutely. However, he won't be available for any of those as he has now found a woman who values him and have decided to give the new girl all those attention or favour or whatnot...

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You are cos you only speak out of hate here.. calling a gender evil just cos of your past experience...
You make me wonder whether a woman really birthed you guys..

.
Hello

Pilopher:
.
Hello

I got your mail..hope there ain't no problems?

SmartMen:
Thanks... even the friendship, she was not doing anything about it.... I am not so stupid to be making efforts where the other does not want to.

Yes, she changed but had time to go out with others and even party. I don't want to be around her anymore to nurture her attention desires.

How do you keep being friends with someone that does not even buzz you for more than 5 months and you are the one doing the buzzing, the calls, the texting?

Am I that useless that I can't get another girl? Funny, quite funny!

If I mentioned what she said here, a lot of guys will laugh at me but in there you will see someone that has become too pompous because she thinks I am desperate.

Abeg make she carry her friendship out of my sight. I too I am important.

Baba, don't let anyone guilt trip you.

You have every right to withdraw your affection if the other person is not willing to date you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong anywhere if you are nice to a lady just to date or even sleep with her.

It's sweet when ladies do this but if you reciprocate, they will be shouting heartbreaks.


Any sensible person would keep a good person as friend whether she decline your proposal or not.

Karleb:
Any sensible person would keep a good person as friend whether she decline your proposal or not.

Gbam..reason why she was not happy I don't want to be around her anymore and I had to add that I would rather go with someone else.

I know my worth baba. I do and I have decided to only allow a woman that values me into my life. She too is with someone but making it look like she is not yet dating someone else and chose to keep me on the "friend zone" lol.

This is 2022 and I have decided to focus on those who value me for real. The new babe values me. I am not willing to throw that away. Every morning she sends me a prayer link. I was in the East in my village for burial and she kept asking for updates to know what's happening there, she wants to know, she wants to be carried along. She is interested and she is willing. When a woman wants you, you will know. There will be no need for headaches and mind games.

We should allow people stay

SmartMen pls answer the following questions

1) Did you had sex with her.?

2) if yes, how many times.?

SmartMen:
But why do girls insist on being friends when a guy says he will prefer to walk away and they don't want to date him? I will appreciate more experience guys to answer this one.

Thanks for this wonderful thread and I wish to find out few things about it

1) Did you had sex with her.?

2) if yes, how many times.?

ConqueredWest:
Thanks for this wonderful thread and I wish to find out few things about it

1) Did you had sex with her.?

2) if yes, how many times.?

I don't know what your aim is with this question but I will advice you read the thread again.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
We learn daily..if you are too big to learn or you think you've gotten to a stage where you don't have to learn anymore then you are nothing but a blockhead..

Note I am not a wannabe redpiller I support the gender you are always gonna abuse..just cos I don't agree with your myopic mindset doesn't make me a gullible person as you..

Because you are the gender.

MPESA:
Because you are the gender.

And do you have a problem with that?

FERNANDEZISBACK:
And do you have a problem with that?

why should I kwanu infact I do support your genders wella for here but Why lying to be opposite gender

MPESA:
why should I kwanu infact I do support your genders wella for here but Why lying to be opposite gender

And how did I lie to be the opposite gender?

Mercychen:
Maybe there's something they are gaining from the friendship. If not, they'll cut the guy off.

I remember during the lockdown, there was this man who was keeping me company via calls and chats. So he later started talking about relationship and marriage but I wasn't interested and I tried to make him understand we could be just friends and stick to the chats and calls only.

Now, I didn't like him for a relationship or marriage but I liked the fact that he kept me company that period ( lockdown) because the boredom was just too much plus I was enjoying the attention he was giving me.

Again, sometimes a girl can just be faking it that she wants to keep you as friends so you don't feel bad about the rejection or see her as heartless but in the real sense she doesn't want you around anymore for daring to ask her for a relationship. All that stunts is not to make you feel totally rejected. Been there, done that.

So guys. Don't go counting on it.

This hurts i swear. Though my case was diff, the baby girl had my exact speck but she was only interested in our romance (No strings attached kinda smth). I became fed up and bounced.

Guys abeg always state your mission to her before she friend zones you impromptu.