JallowBah: Your gut and instinct is telling you this is wrong. Listen to it..

Also, in the african way, he should be the one buying YOU things, not expecting you to buy HIM things. The problem is that many african boys go to europe, and expect their Eu-woman to pay for everything because "she grew up in a rich country, I grew up in a poor country. She dont have problem with money". They dont know..


I actually read the whole thing, and girl..don`t go there.

Thank you so much, that's what I thought too...

IZUKWU: I think you should listen to your instincts and as of now ,they are screaming run !, run for your life. Obviously the young man is struggling and has no source of income and is trying to make you one and may even has others like you. So if you want to help, help him out as a friend that you like, not so that he will pay you back by marrying you as he may end up disappointing you. But then life is a risk. So , if you want to play it that way ,set a limit to what you will spend on/for him ,play along ,watch him , time will prove him. My 2 cents.

heartbroken31: He contacted me over Facebook and we ended up chatting on Facebook.

heartbroken31: He was so quick in sweet words and being pushy meeting up face to face.

heartbroken31: He is younger then me. He is actually 11 years younger.

heartbroken31: He even asked me to marry him.

heartbroken31: Next day on the phone he tells me that he is waiting for his family to send him his money but it hasn't arrived, and that he hasn't got enough credit on his credit card to top up his phone to call his mother to call him back and asked me if I can get him a top up card.

heartbroken31: As I was leaving to go home, he all of a sudden gets hungry and thirsty and asks me to go down to shop and get him water, as there is no drinking water at home. I was shocked again, and he never ever offered a drink (not even a glass of water) or anything when I was at his place.

heartbroken31: I took out a small amount of money and gave it to him.

heartbroken31: I don't trust him.

heartbroken31: He has had a short relationship with another older woman with a good career.

heartbroken31: In my case I want to make it work with him but I am so afraid that it may all be so wrong.

heartbroken31: He is so sweet, and so charming, and he is so comforting and loving.

miss-sweety86:
in which country do you live? he told you he was a student there but you don't see him actually studying?

i'm curious because i was/i am facing a similar situation, but he never asked me to buy anything for him, but I found similiarities with your story

it's true that with Nigerians you should always be careful, as with any other men, but maybe more because of the citizenship issue.

anyway, good luck for your relationship

miss-sweety86:
well, that's why I'm trying to learn about his culture and try my best to understand the mentality. and that's why I wanna go there if I can.
I think mixed relationships are maybe more difficult but I think they can have good outcomes too (and cute babies ;-)!)

miss-sweety86:
in which country do you live? he told you he was a student there but you don't see him actually studying?

i'm curious because i was/i am facing a similar situation, but he never asked me to buy anything for him, but I found similiarities with your story

it's true that with Nigerians you should always be careful, as with any other men, but maybe more because of the citizenship issue.

anyway, good luck for your relationship

Good Girl: The guy knew what he wanted from the word 'go'. Contacting you via Facebook? He probably knew what you do for a living before contacting you. It's all about the money for him.


Of course he'll be sweet in his words. Which man isn't? And pushy too? This guy knows what he wants from you.


Run! Run very fast! This guy just wants your money. He's looking for comfort and he's aware that an older woman is probably more financially secure.


Run! In fact sprint! Very few Nigerian men genuinely marry older women. In Nigeria, 26 is an "old cargo". Don't know where you come from, but he probably wants your country's citizenship.


The guy is using you.

Asks you to go shop water for him, with your money....lol. The man probably tells his friends that you are a 'mugu'. Go ask him what it means.


He's probably using that money on another girl (probably a younger Nigerian girl).


You're on the right path. You cannot trust a man (esp. a younger one) who borrows money from a woman he's dating/courting. Personally, if a man wants to lose my respect, let him borrow me money. He'll never see me again (no matter how tall he is and how deep his voice is).


The young man knows what he wants from older women. He even goes for the ones with good careers. From the time he saw your profile on Facebook, you became his target. He's probably saved you as "ATM 3" in his cell phone, and he probably has "ATM 1" and "ATM 2" as well.


This relationship will not work out. He just wants to use you to put his finances in order.


He'll be all that and more, especially when he knows that he'll be getting money (and some citizenship) in return.

carefreewannabe: all I can tell you IS: RUN! Forget about him!!!!
Your feeling / intuition is telling you the same.
He is charming and sweet, so what? Many men are.

I don't understand why so many women fall in love so quickly. You said that after JUST TWO WEEKS you developed feelings for him. Why?
I really think that women fall for a guy SO QUICKLY because there is a gap in their lives and they feel somehow empty and therefore fall quickly for a guy to fill in this gap. If your life was good the way it is. If you had goals in your life and you would be eager to pursuit them with PASSION and loved your life and yourself, you would never let such a LIAR into your life. Your alarm bells are ringing. And they are ringing LOUDLY, listen to them. Too many lies and moreover, he is trying to USE you. Love yourself or learn to love yourself and such a man will never have the chance to make it into your life. Please, PROTECT yourself. You're worth it!

Also know: that I heard of a woman whose guy was telling her that he was younger than in his passport ID because to get a visa he needed to change his age. Same old lie, so one time they're older and the other younger. For the same reason THEY CLAIM.

I wish you all the best, most of all the reason to treat YOURSELF the way you DESERVE IT, with respect.

heartbroken31:
Hey, thank you for your advice, and I will take it...

heartbroken31:
Thank you soo much, and all true, this is so over, how I don't know but he must have known about me long before he contacted me anyway,

heartbroken31:


Thank you for your advice, I will go along with my instincts, since I have told him that we should stop seeing each other, he did get very angry, and he tried to accuse me of trying to use him, that I am some kind of spy, spying on him, (here I said to him, I ain't a spy, that he should not worry on dwell on that if he isn't doing anything wrong,and I was only trying to get to know him better) and also, after when we softened up about the whole thing, among the talks I told him that I will not come out of the blue and say to him it's over, and he said that I was not his god!, there I stopped, because I have never been such a person to be vein or look down on people. anyways, best thing here for me to stop seeing him. I called yesterday and he didn't reply so hopefully will not be calling him back.