₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
Yours don't support you financially, but when your fiancée decides to act like your mother, you call her names and curse her generation, right?

Now is the time to correct your mother but you're acting all defensive?

You people are hypocrites.

Lol calm down

Eagba:
yes make op go hustle. But you see that car own, and not contributing for the house keep, I know fit gree.

But I need a woman to answer this, why will some grow up to have this feeling of someone will take of them. At least take of yourself from your output, leave me and the kids I'll be more but capable.

That car part, you rock a car and when it gets spoilt or need changing of oil, you call your husband. Is he the mechanic?

If he dies early, will you be happy?

There's always 3 sides to a story tho, OP's side, his mom's side and the truth.
Don't judge early

Thatssobeyonce:
My mom died when i was a kid, i grew up wishing to have a mom no matter how nasty or bad she was. I just wanted a MUM, what u have and dislike is someone else's biggest wish in this life so sort things out with ur mom. She'll listen

If your mother had dumped you by the road side or dump hill immediately after birth like some "GREAT MUMS" do, you wouldn't even be alive to type this.

Be grateful for life but stop wishing nonsense upon yourself.

Aidejay:
that woman wants grandchildren.

simple!

OP go and part one red sea and give her children of israel. You'll be surprised when she starts showering your bouncing babies with all sorts.

apart from that increase your hustle don't see her as a stumbling block but rather motivation once you overcome your financial issues these things become trivial instantly!

not enough reason to be this wicked to your own son haba na if na true then she's into an occultic group that dont render help especially their first born. My brother maybe she don use you

SilentBurner:
No stress yourself my brother, na just to pray make God take your problems away

Amen lol

Acidosis:
Do you realize that his wife is also a mother?

But the wife can't take the place of his mother no matter how much he loves her

Jeffy1206:
not enough reason to be this wicked to your own son haba na if na true then she's into an occultic group that dont render help especially their first born. My brother maybe she don use you

She's his mom, she'll never do that

NOETHNICITY:
But the wife can't take the place of his mother no matter how much he loves her

Sure and his mother can't take the place of the mother of his children. Mama should go and meet her husband and leave the young man alone to build his life.

Acidosis:
If your mother had dumped you by the road side or dump hill immediately after birth like some "GREAT MUMS" do, you wouldn't even be alive to type this.

Be grateful for life but stop wishing nonsense upon yourself.

But she didn't, I'll forever have a soft spot for mothers

Acidosis:
Sure and his mother can't take the place of the mother of his children. Mama should go and meet her husband and leave the young man alone to build his life.

Lmao

Thatssobeyonce:
But she didn't, I'll forever have a soft spot for mothers

Good but don't force or blackmail others to show (fake) love to undeserving mothers.

A lot of people come out today to celebrate mother's Day just cos everybody is doing it. Many of them with no real connection whatsoever with their mothers, not even a memory of a great time. Many of these people have been blackmailed by the publics and this has further heightened the rascality and entitlement of some African mothers.

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

same thing i thought, or she don chop winsh as winsh no dey like progress regardless of who.

Acidosis:
Good but don't force or blackmail others to show (fake) love to undeserving mothers.

A lot of people come out today to celebrate mother's Day just cos everybody is doing it. Many of them with no real connection whatsoever with their mothers, not even a memory of a great time. Many of these people have been blackmailed by the publics and this has further heightened the rascality and entitlement of some African mothers.

It's true tho

Aidejay:
[s]
That woman wants grandchildren.

simple!

OP go and part one red sea and give her children of israel. You'll be surprised when she starts showering your bouncing babies with all sorts.

apart from that increase your hustle don't see her as a stumbling block but rather motivation once you overcome your financial issues these things become trivial instantly! [/s]

We.yrey.

Aflix:
You must find way to bring gender inside every issue

Usually, that's the issue on this forum. Otherwise, why is this a topic? Is she the first parent to refuse her children money? Some parents believe their children must suffer.

Mariangeles:
Many mothers do it, but they always come around when you stand your ground.

One of my mum's friend, her son wanted to marry a Yoruba lady, ya si kama ya nwuo.
Ha e megide, the guy a luo onye o bu n'obi.
Now, the mother is enjoying her.
She says of all her daughters in-law, the Yoruba one makes her feel the most welcomed when she goes visiting.



Ajo nne apughi onwunwe!

You see...Ndi ebe anyi na di kariri somehow towards mba ndi ozo...

My friend, one of his elder brothers luru onye yoruba kwa...Mana o gwara na obi adighi his parents nma maka ya...But, that yoruba lady wu the best of their DILs...O like chara mmadu ibe ya eeh..

Even mgbe anyi no skul, mgbe ufodu enyi m nwoke ji aga na ulo nwanne ya ga noro...Buru kwa ugbo ala aha na a chughari umu nwa ma nwanne ya na nwunye ya gawa ala bekee for holidays.

And she won't complain ma ya lota o..

You know some ladies will pull that the roof in such case...especially umu nwaanyi Igbo anyi.

Ajo nwaanyi, ga ekewa ezi na ulo...Mebie otutu ihe maka iwe na selfish interest...veryy terrible

O wu mgbe OP gburu onwe ya ka mma ya ga ezuruike

Things are tough for ndi nwere bigger things doing, ya fodukwa onye ka na a manage onwe ya a manage..

She is even pressuring him to go and carry someone's daughter on top his struggling life...Okwa ka bia frustrate yia the babe..

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

Good question. I thought as much

from your last paragraph I see the reason you have been treated that way by your mother,u still have to grow up and see life differently...not all low income earners have fighters as wife and raise wayward children.

Aidejay:
that woman wants grandchildren.

simple!

OP go and part one red sea and give her children of israel. You'll be surprised when she starts showering your bouncing babies with all sorts.

apart from that increase your hustle don't see her as a stumbling block but rather motivation once you overcome your financial issues these things become trivial instantly!

Dumb

A guy I no. His mum and his wife are the evil ones. They are in agreement spiritually to what is happening to this boy. They have wrecked him and totally emasculated him. Almost 40 and still living with his parents. Someone that has masters. Infact guy was called from America like remote control to come and be doing houseboy for his parents. A boy that had a good Job abroad. Guy is in bondage. His wife is another story. If you have good parents or a spouse. Just thank God

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

That he calls her mom baffles me.... Even Nigeria film no reach this one

ayobamiJR:
At a time in my life, my mother wanted to keep me hostage out of love but though I was a desperate but legit hustler, she failed to understand....I developed a strong resentment towards her but it is unnecessary...See, I didn't even read your write up but please as an adult, try to understand your mum/dad, you really will miss them when they are no more...Just enjoy the moments when they are with you. When you start giving birth, you'd realise that they have made a lot of great sacrifices for you to be where you are today....Forgive and forget. Love your parents.

Crap

I think you're a disgrace to your moniker.

What difficult in allocating 1k recharge card out of 19k allowance to your mum monthly. Even now that you are managing, find a way to allocate a little stuff to your mum.

Your mum didn't you favours? Who took care of you from conception till your supposed age of independence. If I were close to you, na better backhand slap I go give you.

Even if your mum shortchanged you, why bring it here.

You are not appreciative, you are not generous. You only receive. Better be a giver so that you can grow.

NB: these words are to motivate and not demoralise you.

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

Ogbeni, your mama na Narcissist. Plain & simple.

Abeg no come for me o.

laiperi:
Try to understand where she is coming from, could be tough love.

She may even want you or trying too hard to make you more responsible.

It boils down to how you see it and the difference it makes to your existence without expecting any support.

A mother blocks financial help that could potentially change her son’s life, a person that is struggling and refuses to help and you call it tough love.


Lol. Y’all with good parents have no idea AT ALL.

So fucking ignorant.

saintneo:
I think you're a disgrace to your moniker.

What difficult in allocating 1k recharge card out of 19k allowance to your mum monthly. Even now that you are managing, find a way to allocate a little stuff to your mum.

Your mum didn't you favours? Who took care of you from conception till your supposed age of independence. If I were close to you, na better backhand slap I go give you.

Even if your mum shortchanged you, why bring it here.

You are not appreciative, you are not generous. You only receive. Better be a giver so that you can grow.

NB: these words are to motivate and not demoralise you.

May God punish you for this statement.
A struggling person should send what to who doesn’t want to do shit for him.

You are an Animal and assuming I Dey Nigeria, I for gather soldier beat your life. Mods block me please so I don’t want to see idiots on my screen again.

KingAzubuike:
But what sorta mother will be expecting her son who's a serving corper to be sending money to her? And she is a mother who is working and earning 6 figures.? Haba.. that's too cruel.

Parents these days see their children taking care of them as an obligation. "That I must reap where I have sown" mentality. Your children will take care of you no doubt but don't see it as an obligation or a right because you took care of them too. You chose to have kids , nobody forced you. If you buy a puppy , it's your duty to feed it and nuture it.

And if your mother is always blocking people from helping you financially then just try to maintain your distance with her.

Very true. I no dey do pass my power. I dey clear my mum back to back

Hmmmm a son who refers to his father as "The man".
May the peace of the Lord locate its way to your abode.

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

BRATISLAVA:
Usually, that's the issue on this forum. Otherwise, why is this a topic? Is she the first parent to refuse her children money? Some parents believe their children must suffer.

Read the topic again madam/oga. It’s “my mother” not my female mother or females. The OP is complaining about his mother same way any other person can complain about his/her father. No be gender issue, na parenting issue. And if you took time to read the topic, you would see that the main issue is not the mom refusing him money.

That is just the best , give your mama small distance to build respect and most importantly move closer to your creator and I believe within a short period of time all will be well ...talking from experience

Ahmed0336:
Nothing pesin no go read for NL.

Op I feel sorry for you bro. You have to move very far from your mother, hustle hard, cut communication for the time being with her for ur mental health. I wish u all d best.

DispatcherLagos:
No perfect family. If I open mouth talk my own now you will thank God for having a mother like yours. However to get her thoughts out of my mind I had to travel and stay very far away from her. No calls or sms, we're both good, this is the fourth year of no communication

Omo

akigbemaru:
I hope you are not talking about my MOTHER too. My mother will not receive any money from me for the next 3 years as a punishment. She is extremely greed and at mere 63-year-old, she does not want to do anything in life again and wants you to focus all your life on her.

She loves MONEY more than her life and she expects you to give her all the time and she would never give you a dime.
In 2020, I gave her 900K nairas to pay her rent and buy provisions for her small shop that she did show to me. (Also the highest I gave in 2020 besides her was 285K nairas to my aunt and 245K nairas to my senior sister). The money for provisions was spent on a Celestial priestess to bind me. She gave her my pictures and she provided big candles to concoct the articles.

How did we find out? My senior sister never lived with her once, she always lived with grandma on the father's side. Because of lack of parental guidance, she became unruly and never even finished Primary School. After I gave my Mom 900K nairas, she went and brought her in to live with her and maybe she would get her life together.
But my mom can never accommodate nobody, and I warned my senior sister too. She could not even spend 2 weeks there before all hell broke out.

She said my mom does not leave keys for her and her twin boys and in a one-bedroom-n-parlor self-contain, she would come to the parlor with her toilet bowl or a plastic commode just to irritate my senior sister. She could not take it and they started fighting each other. My mother did the same to me but this time, it was her menstrual rags. Those things smell to the pit of hell. She could not afford to buy pads and would always re-wash the rags, but she could have left them outside and just watch over them. Her excuse was the JUJU people might snatch menstrual rags for VOODOO. I understand but she was just trying to kick me out of the face-me-I-face-you room that we were managing at that time.

The whole room would be smelling like abattoir. It was not even her money to rent the room, it a good Samaritan that sent money from oversea and she wanted her to get a room and parlor, but she decided to get a room and kept the rest of the money.
I lived there with her and my other 2 siblings for 19 months. Just one evening, she packed all my clothes and dumped them in open gutter. I would be sleeping; she would wake me up and send me out because she has a visitor coming and she does not want me to listen to their conversations. I was going to beat the hell out of her, but I cautioned myself and I was homeless for 2 months before I eventually got my own face-me-I-face-you room too. I had just finished High school and that also made me one of the youngest guys living on their own. Most kids after high school will still be living with their parents.

Then she went and brought a man to live with her, I was happy for her because she got a man now (since my father died long time ago and I don't give a Bleep if she gets a man), and they now lived to together. Since that day, I would never let my mother pray for me till I die. I have pardoned her and every time I send her some money from America, she would want to pray for me, I always cut her off and she knows better. She is also very secretive; she would never tell any of her children how much she was making or her salaries when she was working. First of all, not a white-collar job to warrant maybe she was making a huge money. She just would not tell anybody talk-less of giving you some money. Albeit, she wants to know everything about your own money.

To cut the long story short, the first time my sister (her first born) stepped into the apartment to start living with her. My mom ran an errant and that gave my sister the opportunity to look further in the apartment. She found the giant candles with my pictures tied to them and some nonsense wrapped around them. Now, my sister was looking for ways to find out the reason why she had to bind me like that. She finally confessed that the Cele-lady was powerful that I don't use to give her money like that but after the lady did the binding, she started receiving money from me.

I don't believe in Hoppus Copus, but my only worry is, why would a woman that has retired from everything would bind someone that is just starting life? I am in late 30s and don't have children yet and yes, I am just starting life. Within the 3 years that I won't be talking to her, I want to start having kids too. I will be in Nigeria this year to arrange all that.

That is why Western Society does not allow anybody to leech on anybody. Most adults of my age in America, only think about 401K or retirement plans. They don't give their parents or siblings any dime. You will want to help people in Nigeria, and they still want to go extra miles on you. I am paranoid about everything in Nigeria. If my mother could bind me, what about the new wife that has recently come into my life?!

be very careful young man, I would also advice you to visit apostle arome osayi church in markurdi so God can help you. A mother who patronizes witchcraft in any disguise to trap her children is evil. U better go n become spiritually stronger so your mom won't use you as chaff