This is a sad story indeed. OP you need to get in touch with your well behaved and progressive friends that have made something out of their lives, so they can put you in line. You have to seek help from people who aren’t connected to your mama. When you hammer your mama would become your greatest supporter. But for now, take this for courage “There is a big bright light at the end of the tunnel”.

Qatar2022:

Oga people are naturally wicked, what are you even saying? You must nurture your plant before it grows and bear fruits for you

That guy is probably high on something.. Not only has the mother not sowed she is even blocking other people from sowing and you want her to reap.
You need go check up

Pls can you ask your dad a very serious and straight question. Pls ask him or investigate properly if that woman is your biological mother?

Pls don't dump my words I'm talking from experience pls find out first because for your biological mother to be that mean to you hhmm....then something not right somewhere.

ayobamiJR:


At a time in my life, my mother wanted to keep me hostage out of love but though I was a desperate but legit hustler, she failed to understand....I developed a strong resentment towards her but it is unnecessary...See, I didn't even read your write up but please as an adult, try to understand your mum/dad, you really will miss them when they are no more...Just enjoy the moments when they are with you. When you start giving birth, you'd realise that they have made a lot of great sacrifices for you to be where you are today....Forgive and forget. Love your parents.

And where is he today.. Now that he needs them most they are frustrating him.
Is not better to not have parents at all than to have parents that can help you but wont

Franktom247:
All i can say is OMO but it is the blowing banger on the streets for me

Bro, that part nearly finished me. Driving tyre naked and blowing banger.

OP should check well. She might not be his biological mother.

There are some responsibilities you just can’t carry when you are not buoyant. If he insists on bearing those responsibilities, it will affect his growth.

pansophist:
You're being a gentleman to your detriment, and that is your problem. You should have told your uncle that it's only 30k out of the 500k you received, and that he should send money to you directly next time. You don't cover shame for someone that is shameless.

Secondly, stop giving her money you don't have. Let her call Jesus and complain, don't give. Remove what's on your eye first, before someone's else, even your mum. If you realise how people quickly forget the dead, you will stop living to please people. Kobe Bryant died a few years ago, his news spread globally, now how many people talk about him? Oga give yourself a brain.

Be careful about what you tolerate, because you're teaching others how to treat you. How others treat you is a mirror to your standards, and no one will treat you better than you will accept. Your mothers behaviour will not bother you if you develop the inner strength to handle troublesome individuals. If she knows you to be tough, you'll be her exemption to her dirty behaviour, while she focuses on dealing with your father full time.

I understand the cultural expectations of respecting your parents, but to respect someone and to tolerate their excess is foolishness, and your respect has no value. When people know you as a man of honour, your respect will be valued, as well as your wrath. Know when to be a gentleman, and when to be a mentally deranged tout, because that's the language weak people understand. You can't be one, without strengthening the other. Just like the taller a tree, the deeper it's roots.

For now, seek on financial independence and don't sacrifice yourself stupidly. Your intuition is always telling you what to do but many times, people look outward, instead of inward. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it, and damn the consequences. What's worse? She would stop talking to you? Well for me, that will be great.

Love is thicker than water, not blood. If her existence in your life is more of pain than happiness, then you either choose yourself or her, and if its your mum, will she choose you instead of her happiness ? Learning to live is a skill, please develop it, and most things won't even bother you.

Bro you are a wise man.. I wish OP would take your advice seriously

I feel it pain bro
Pls pls bro if you keep thinking about this issue you may never get focus in life.
I beg you in the name of Jah
Just park her one side and face it life
Pls
At the end she will realize her mistakes by the time she is retired lonely and needy of attention from her kids
Then she will report u to Pastors and Imams
They will now cajole u to forgive and forget
For now pls he mental health is a priority to our country

This may go down as being one of the best responses on Nairaland to a complex issue this year.

pansophist:
You're being a gentleman to your detriment, and that is your problem. You should have told your uncle that it's only 30k out of the 500k you received, and that he should send money to you directly next time. You don't cover shame for someone that is shameless.

Secondly, stop giving her money you don't have. Let her call Jesus and complain, don't give. Remove what's on your eye first, before someone's else, even your mum. If you realise how people quickly forget the dead, you will stop living to please people. Kobe Bryant died a few years ago, his news spread globally, now how many people talk about him? Oga give yourself a brain.

Be careful about what you tolerate, because you're teaching others how to treat you. How others treat you is a mirror to your standards, and no one will treat you better than you will accept. Your mothers behaviour will not bother you if you develop the inner strength to handle troublesome individuals. If she knows you to be tough, you'll be her exemption to her dirty behaviour, while she focuses on dealing with your father full time.

I understand the cultural expectations of respecting your parents, but to respect someone and to tolerate their excess is foolishness, and your respect has no value. When people know you as a man of honour, your respect will be valued, as well as your wrath. Know when to be a gentleman, and when to be a mentally deranged tout, because that's the language weak people understand. You can't be one, without strengthening the other. Just like the taller a tree, the deeper it's roots.

For now, seek on financial independence and don't sacrifice yourself stupidly. Your intuition is always telling you what to do but many times, people look outward, instead of inward. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it, and damn the consequences. What's worse? She would stop talking to you? Well for me, that will be great.

Love is thicker than water, not blood. If her existence in your life is more of pain than happiness, then you either choose yourself or her, and if its your mum, will she choose you instead of her happiness ? Learning to live is a skill, please develop it, and most things won't even bother you.

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

Let me join my mouth here to ask..


Though I learnt recently that some mothers are from hell... They make life miserable for the kid they bonded with right inside their womb..smh.

OP' s case is intensifying my curiosity...

But then how come, some things here, I don't even experience it...Maybe I and my siblings are one of those who have angels as mothers...

Mine just want the best for her children, And doesn't stress anyone.....

I have passed through this before! it was never a pleasant experience! despite d fact that my mum was earning considerably well as a level 15 officer with the state government yet am a wicked for not bringing returns from my #13000 salary and later Npower allowance. Now that she has retired and am gainfully employed she is now the one looking after the investment i made with my npower allowance(almost 4 acres of plantain farm with cocoa). There was a day the person i shared boundary with on my farm approached her and said "iya okunrin meje ati abo ni omo yin oo) What i observed from her action was that she listened too much to misleading advise from her fellow woman and she would want to act based on that

maxkia:



I am 38 years old Married Man. My mum Even cursed me February 2021 that I won’t see any good In life just because I married a Yoruba Woman.

Na that same year my wife delivered a baby after 4 Lost Pregnancies due to my mum Wahala on my wife.

I took my wife far . Now we both play with my baby.

This life is deep . I’m Igbo btw

Na wah o!

Ufodu ndi nne shikwara ike o!

DispatcherLagos:
No perfect family. If I open mouth talk my own now you will thank God for having a mother like yours. However to get her thoughts out of my mind I had to travel and stay very far away from her. No calls or sms, we're both good, this is the fourth year of no communication

Do you sincerely mean this?

Mariangeles:


Na wah o!

Ufodu ndi nne shikwara ike o!

Ike gwuru o...Nwaanyi i bu nwa ya onu maka choice...Anyway o wu onye na amahu way udodu ndi nne a.

Akuko kariri...Ajo nne wu ihe ojoor.

topoftheworld:
Op, sorry abt that.

But are U she is ur biological mother?
If yes, Baba Confront her one day and ask her what's ur offence.

Even not being his biological mother does not justify her wickedness towards him.

Isaacpromise1:


A woman who raised you up to the stage you are, probably she and the father sponsored your education along with other finances SUDDENLY turned wicked and greedy overnight?
Does that even make any sense? What happened along the line? Has he tried finding out? Has he tried finding solution? Instead of crying fowl and giving the mother bad image what reasonable step has he taken to resolve the issue … No one even knows the woman side of the story but according to HIS explanation her mother is Bad and Wicked! …

like i said, “things don’t just happen, something must happen for something to happen”

What in GOD,S earth would you do to your mother to warrant this kind of treatment from her.. Someone that carried you for 9 months.. I've racked my brain thoroughly and can find any reasonable reason

maxkia:



I am 38 years old Married Man. My mum Even cursed me February 2021 that I won’t see any good In life just because I married a Yoruba Woman.

Na that same year my wife delivered a baby after 4 Lost Pregnancies due to my mum Wahala on my wife.

I took my wife far . Now we both play with my baby.

This life is deep . I’m Igbo btw

Better be careful. Mother's curse are as potent as anything. Secondly, yoruba women are some how. I pity you if you trust any yoruba person.
Third, you must at all cost make peace with ur mum. They are like ur god on earth

BRATISLAVA:
He doesn't have any problem with his mother, except that she refuses to give him money. Hence the hate. Just money. She didn't refuse him food in the house or Chase him out. She refused to give him money.

How many peoples parents have money and actually give it to them?

OP sounds entitled.

Same way some fathers refuse to give love, presence and support to their families, and nobody hates them this much.

You must find way to bring gender inside every issue

[sub][/sub]

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

if she's my biological mother, it's simple, I will do her strong thing and run, like I will sell the house she dey live in

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

Exactly what I was thinking as well.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
[sub][/sub]if she's my biological mother, it's simple, I will do her strong thing and run, like I will sell the house she dey live in

LOLs!... evils!!

Ogunleti01:
I have passed through this before! it was never a pleasant experience! despite d fact that my mum was earning considerably well as a level 15 officer with the state government yet am a wicked for not bringing returns from my #13000 salary and later Npower allowance. Now that she has retired and am gainfully employed she is now the one looking after the investment i made with my npower allowance(almost 4 acres of plantain farm with cocoa). There was a day the person i shared boundary with on my farm approached her and said "iya okunrin meje ati abo ni omo yin oo) What i observed from her action was that she listened too much to misleading advise from her fellow woman and she would want to act based on that

Women influence eachother a lot...

A good woman can turn bad, A bad one can improve...All a case of influence.

Most are Impatient, they want things to happen with speed of light...But forget life is a process...

Kudos to the ones who understands life from a different perspective...And thumbs up to calm, bolf and confident men out there...Especially some of our Dads..They passed through a lot without complaint.

Munzy14:

Ike gwuru o...Nwaanyi i bu nwa ya onu maka choice...Anyway o wu onye na amahu way udodu ndi nne a.

Many mothers do it, but they always come around when you stand your ground.

One of my mum's friend, her son wanted to marry a Yoruba lady, ya si kama ya nwuo.
Ha e megide, the guy a luo onye o bu n'obi.
Now, the mother is enjoying her.
She says of all her daughters in-law, the Yoruba one makes her feel the most welcomed when she goes visiting.

Akuko kariri...Ajo nne wu ihe ojoor.

Ajo nne apughi onwunwe!

Yours is even better. Mine don't support financially while growing up and don't want me to marry. Your mum might not be doing the right thing but thank God for having a mother that wish you well. Don't listen to all those asking you to distance yourself from her. No matter what, your mother is still your mother and no woman can take her place. I pray that things get better between the two of you and you will not miss it maritally.

Ahmed0336:
Nothing pesin no go read for NL.

Op I feel sorry for you bro. You have to move very far from your mother, hustle hard, cut communication for the time being with her for ur mental health. I wish u all d best.

OP make use of this advice

If the OP had used "My Father's Wife", instead of "My Mother", some of the senseless comments we have on this thread, especially from overly emotional touts, wouldn't have suffice at all.

At the mention of "Mother", some of you lose your senses to the dogs, but at the mention of "Female", "Lady, "Woman", "Girlfriend", "Wife", or "Fiancee", y'all remember your various red pill groups

Dem no dey give sense for maternity ward or antenatal. If you don't have sense as a girlfriend, you won't have sense as a mother. If you can't give your man money, you will starve and curse your child someday when he fails to meet your financial or career expectations.

.

Gunayo:
Yours is even better. Mine don't support financially while growing up and don't want me to marry. Your mum might not be doing the right thing but thank God for having a mother that wish you well. Don't listen to all those asking you to distance yourself from her. No matter what, your mother is still your mother and no woman can take her place. I pray that things get better between the two of you and you will not miss it maritally.

Yours don't support you financially, but when your fiancée decides to act like your mother, you call her names and curse her generation, right?

Now is the time to correct your mother but you're acting all defensive?

You people are hypocrites.

Mac12:



You dey mind them

Yes, there are wonderful mothers, but there are also terrible ones
A woman in my village hated one of her daughters who had a small stature so much that she was always looking for for a way to kill her...her own daughter who did her nothing. And she finally achieved it. She felt the girl's small stature was an embarrassment to her family.

You know what she did? She started by instigating the girl's siblings to equally hate and avoid her.
She then manipulatively asked the girl to go stay with her siblings in lagos, whle at the same time, convincing those siblings to hire someone who would throw the girl into any river in lagos once she arrived. And they eventually did it. That girl is nowhere to be found today, after leaving for lagos in 2005. The mother succeeded in eliminating her own daughter, a very free, friendly and always-smiling girl.

How did i know this? I learnt this from my mother(who's very close to this particular woman and her family) when i visited village in November last year.
Unfortunately, that wicked woman/mother has recently died with this wicked act she committed against her own innocent daughter with seeking for forgiveness.
So, if you haven't seen wicked mothers, i have seen one who killed her own daughter.
However, she's a big contrast from my own mother, who can sacrifice her own life for her children, no matter their stature/physical appearance, mental state or financial conditions.

My mom died when i was a kid, i grew up wishing to have a mom no matter how nasty or bad she was. I just wanted a MUM, what u have and dislike is someone else's biggest wish in this life so sort things out with ur mom. She'll listen

Why

NOETHNICITY:
[s]Better be careful. Mother's curse are as potent as anything. Secondly, yoruba women are some how. I pity you if you trust any yoruba person.
Third, you must at all cost make peace with ur mum. They are like ur god on earth[/s]

Do you realize that his wife is also a mother?

Aflix:
You must find way to bring gender inside every issue

Lol