Isaacpromise1:


Do y?

Yes, there are good and bad people in this him and raised him to the stage he was before things went sour ?

Haba, use your Brain now

the assertion that op should somehow forget all that happened and start loving his mom despite the way she maltreated him is impractical and unrealistic. Love and maltreatment can't be in the same sentence - the human brain is not wired that way, no matter what the resentment will linger, but it will do him more good to replace that emotion with forgiveness . Just to be clear, i am against op hating his mum, the word hate carries alot of weight. But it will do him more good to put her in her place - a healthy dose of occasional timeout and boundaries may work, this means keeping her at an arm's length and communicating with her only when its neccesary. Of course, she may have other virtues, but the truth is, she is unlikely to change for good and the earlier op realize this hard truth the better.

Isaacpromise1:
As much as we don’t know her side of the story, but as per your own explanation.

You need to fix your life ASAP; and stop expecting anything from her, father or anyone else, if they assist it’s fine, if they don’t, you move on.

Don’t you think by now, your mum or your parents should be eating the fruit of their labor and not some unnecessary billing from you, it might be part of the silent issues too

Have you tried having a mother-son deep conversation with your mum too?

Like my pastor once said, “something must happen for something to happen” your mother can’t just turn that bad to you overnight, try to find out what went wrong

Of all people to come here and talk to advice the guy , it's not even a religious person like you. And what do you mean by now they should already be eating the fruits of their labor? This African mentality needs to stop. A mother who is still mobile, still working, earning a decent salary and has the guts to be asking her son who is a corper for money is nothing but greedy. To make matters worse, she started reporting him to his uncles. They tried to talk to her but she wasn't going to listen . Abeg check well.
This our African mentality of expecting a child to take care of you when he starts earning decently needs to stop. You brought them into this world, you chose to get married and have kids so therefore it's your obligation to take care of them. If you buy a puppy, it's you obligation to take care of it, feed it, keep it warm and watch over it.

Godada:



Op, I believe you.

Some people here may not understand what you are going through.

If I told you how much that my dad was supposed to give me while he was alive but my mother stood in the way.

The matter is sure.... Help will not be coming from your dad.

Maybe you should consider learning some side hustle.

There are a lot of them here on nairaland. Pick one, stick with it. Watch YouTube videos. May God crown your effort with success.

Understand that not all women should be mothers.

Cheers.

I remember when my own mother blocked me from traveling out with the lame excuse that I wasn't gonna keep in touch and I was gonna forget home. My uncle based in newyork was ready to come pick me and sponsor everything. He even sent money to get my passport which I did sharply. . Naso this woman stood in the way . It got so bad she started raising voice on my uncle . The man just quietly left us alone and stopped picking even my own calls. This happened in 2009. Till date I'm still stucked in naija. E pain me sha and anytime I see her I remember that incident but life goes on .

KingAzubuike:

Of all people to come here and talk to advice the guy , it's not even a religious person like you. And what do you mean by now they should already be eating the fruits of their labor? This African mentality needs to stop. A mother who is still mobile, still working, earning a decent salary and has the guts to be asking her son who is a corper for money is nothing but greedy. To make matters worse, she started reporting him to his uncles. They tried to talk to her but she wasn't going to listen . Abeg check well.
This our African mentality of expecting a child to take care of you when he starts earning decently needs to stop. You brought them into this world, you chose to get married and have kids so therefore it's your obligation to take care of them. If you buy a puppy, it's you obligation to take care of it, feed it, keep it warm and watch over it.

Ok o, go in peace with your western mentality then

Isaacpromise1:


Ok o, go in peace with your western mentality then

See taking care of your parents is the best thing to do. Only a fool won't do that but when a child is struggling and a mother who is still working and earning a good salary is reporting the child to his uncles that he refused to send money to her then common man, that woman is just being greedy.

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.

His mother is even nice to him, he even got 30k from 500k . I have a friend whose mother treats her like a stranger, very cruel, curses her, cheats her, she buys expensive gifts for her, but she never appreciates etc.


If you really understand women, you will know that's her true nature that she's exhibiting. (Women are naturally narcissistic selfish beings).

Most times these women are possessed and you begin to ask questions like you did.

Not all mothers are truly mothers.

If you have a good mother, appreciate her.

KingAzubuike:

See taking care of your parents is the best thing to do. Only a fool won't do that but when a child is struggling and a mother who is still working and earning a good salary is reporting the child to his uncles that he refused to send money to her then common man, that woman is just being greedy.

A woman who raised you up to the stage you are, probably she and the father sponsored your education along with other finances SUDDENLY turned wicked and greedy overnight?
Does that even make any sense? What happened along the line? Has he tried finding out? Has he tried finding solution? Instead of crying fowl and giving the mother bad image what reasonable step has he taken to resolve the issue … No one even knows the woman side of the story but according to HIS explanation her mother is Bad and Wicked! …

like i said, “things don’t just happen, something must happen for something to happen”

Wow.. she doesn't act like your mother. Even a step mom can do better than that.

But I do find a little cringe for you talk badly about your mum despite how much I can understand how you feel.

Did you do something in the past that made her feel so jarred about you? Because that's the only reason I can think of..

Maybe you should talk openly pour all your heart out to her and asked what if there was anything that you did that makes her being her..

I promise myself not to give conditional love for my son.

If parents give you conditional love.. what hope will there be in this world?

Your mom has become a test from God, brother.

Maybe you no be her pikin, you never can tell

i926:


His mother is even nice to him, he even got 30k from 500k . I have a friend whose mother treats her like a stranger, very cruel, curses her, cheats her, she buys expensive gifts for her, but she never appreciates etc.


If you really understand women, you will know that's her true nature that she's exhibiting. (Women are naturally narcissistic selfish beings).

Most times these women are possessed and you begin to ask questions like you did.

Not all mothers are truly mothers.

If you have a good mother, appreciate her.

hmmm...I always thought mother's has infinite love 4 their children

Isaacpromise1:


A woman who raised you up to the stage you are, probably she and the father sponsored your education along with other finances SUDDENLY turned wicked and greedy overnight?
Does that even make any sense? What happened along the line? Has he tried finding out? Has he tried finding solution? Instead of crying fowl and giving the mother bad image what reasonable step has he taken to resolve the issue … No one even knows the woman side of the story but according to HIS explanation her mother is Bad and Wicked! …

like i said, “things don’t just happen, something must happen for something to happen”

Mr Man, all this talk of they raised you no hold water. Did anybody force them to get married? Did anybody force them to have kids. You have kids you no go take care of am before abi na stone you wan dey give am chop? Change this mentality.

Isaacpromise1:


Do you keep a plant that does not bear fruit even after nurturing it to a fruitful stage?

Yes, there are good and bad people in this world! But do you think the mother hasn’t done any good thing worthy of commendation since she has given birth to him and raised him to the stage he was before things went sour ?

Haba, use your Brain now

Read this post again if haven't, do you think a child will be ungrateful too his mo

Isaacpromise1:


Do you keep a plant that does not bear fruit even after nurturing it to a fruitful stage?

Yes, there are good and bad people in this world! But do you think the mother hasn’t done any good thing worthy of commendation since she has given birth to him and raised him to the stage he was before things went sour ?

Haba, use your Brain now

Read this post again if haven't, do you think a child will be ungrateful too his mother like this in this part of the world?

Qatar2022:

Read this post again if haven't, do you think a child will be ungrateful too his mother like this in this part of the world?

and do you think a mother would be stupid and senseless enough to have turned bad like this in this part of the world without any reason whatsoever??

Qatar2022:

Read this post again if haven't, do you think a child will be ungrateful too his mother like this in this part of the world?

That's what I'm here to correct him on. That guys mother is only being narcissistic. Every woman on this Earth puts herself first before anything. They consider themselves before anybody else even their own kids. Sometimes they try to hide it to their kids but its so hard to hide. Some are successful at hiding it while some just can't. . It's a trait embedded in every woman. That's why as the guy said, when it comes to money issues, she will block it and tell his dad that he's spoiling him and there are people who earn 20k and they're not dead meanwhile if she's the one the father wants to give a huge sum of money she no go say he is spoiling her.

KingAzubuike:

Mr Man, all this talk of they raised you no hold water. Did anybody force them to get married? Did anybody force them to have kids. You have kids you no go take care of am before abi na stone you wan dey give am chop? Change this mentality.

Which yeye mentality u dey yarn sef ?

Grow up and neglect ur parents? , ask anything from them and they say NO … na wicked person dem b? U ask from dem, dem no give, na greedy person dem b? Instead of u to own up to your life and think of a way to survive … u dey yarn hatred…… mtcheew

Even if she earns a million naira, she doesn’t owe you shit!

Jamest162:
hmmm...I always thought mother's has infinite love 4 their children

Not always, man.

laiperi:
Try to understand where she is coming from, could be tough love.

She may even want you or trying too hard to make you more responsible.

It boils down to how you see it and the difference it makes to your existence without expecting any support.

I thought tough love at first too but she's too extreme

It seems like she doesn't really care. If it was tough love, at least she'll guide him to a better path while letting him do the hard work

Isaacpromise1:


Which yeye mentality u dey yarn sef ?

Grow up and neglect ur parents? , ask anything from them and they say NO … na wicked person dem b? U ask from dem, dem no give, na greedy person dem b? Instead of u to own up to your life and think of a way to survive … u dey yarn hatred…… mtcheew

Even if she earns a million naira, she doesn’t owe you shit!

Oga pls learn to read . Go and re read the OP post as well as mine. nobody is saying you shouldn't take care of your parent .. pls do. Where the problem is that

1. He is struggling in life . His mother still works and earns 6 digits yet she will be calling his uncles on phone and reporting him to them that he isn't sending money to her. She knows his condition which he has tried to explain to her yet she's not listening. It's even as bad as she disturbing him to send her money when he was doing NYSC. NYSC o!

2. Also, the mother blocks any financial help he wants to get from someone. How can someone be willing to help you financially to start a business and your mother will block it that the person is spoiling you and he shouldn't send. Is it her joy to see him suffer?


The woman is working, earning six figures. She's not at a stage where she can't walk or toilet. If the guy get money, he will give her. If he doesn't have, he cannot carry gun.

OP, I don't think that woman is your biological mother

Mothers would usually do anything they can to make their children successful

Your story makes no sense

Dogasas:

I remember when my own mother blocked me from traveling out with the lame excuse that I wasn't gonna keep in touch and I was gonna forget home. My uncle based in newyork was ready to come pick me and sponsor everything. He even sent money to get my passport which I did sharply. . Naso this woman stood in the way . It got so bad she started raising voice on my uncle . The man just quietly left us alone and stopped picking even my own calls. This happened in 2009. Till date I'm still stucked in naija. E pain me sha and anytime I see her I remember that incident but life goes on .

Sorry bro.

It is well.

Double your hustle

All i can say is OMO but it is the blowing banger on the streets for me

KingAzubuike:

Oga pls learn to read . Go and re read the OP post as well as mine. nobody is saying you shouldn't take care of your parent .. pls do. Where the problem is that

1. He is struggling in life . His mother still works and earns 6 digits yet she will be calling his uncles on phone and reporting him to them that he isn't sending money to her. She knows his condition which he has tried to explain to her yet she's not listening. It's even as bad as she disturbing him to send her money when he was doing NYSC. NYSC o!

2. Also, the mother blocks any financial help he wants to get from someone. How can someone be willing to help you financially to start a business and your mother will block it that the person is spoiling you and he shouldn't send. Is it her joy to see him suffer?


The woman is working, earning six figures. She's not at a stage where she can't walk or toilet. If the guy get money, he will give her. If he doesn't have, he cannot carry gun.

Torh!

Like a Yoruba adage says “one who listens to one person’s complaints and not the other before passing judgment is a wicked person”

“IF” actually the mother did all those things; what happened? Is that how she behaves to the other siblings? Has he taken any step to resolve whatever is happening between them?

Let me tell you how I'd handle this situation:

I will pick a fight with her. It might be over a very flimsy reason, I would quarrel with her, we'd exchange words and I will not apologize at least for 3 months.

Then I'd call that uncle that sent #500k and explain everything to him.

I'd neglect my dad since it seems he's been jazzed.

I will not send a dime to her because apart from her salary, she has her husband.

If she likes, let her report me to Buhari, I will not bulge.

I will uproot the seed of marriage she has planted in me. If she needs more kids, let her take in.

See, if you don't quarrel your mum she'll keep pushing. Let her realize that without her your life will move on. If she understands by your action that you can make her insignificant in your life, she'll respect you.

You respect her too much and she's not reciprocating it.

If I were you, from this story, I'd hate her more than shiit.

I don’t know why people are this stingy, I know two women who behaves exactly like this.

One of them is a vice principal but it's boyfriend that's taking care of her daughters.

Isaacpromise1:


Torh!

Like a Yoruba adage says “one who listens to one person’s complaints and not the other before passing judgment is a wicked person”

“IF” actually the mother did all those things; what happened? Is that how she behaves to the other siblings? Has he taken any step to resolve whatever is happening between them?

If you read the story carefully, the woman is guilty and a bad person.

Who reports a corper on 19k salary for not sending money when the fellow earns above 100k?

Stinginess and greediness are 5 et 6.

nerdfrost:
How can a mother block the progress of her child

She is not blocking his progress in the real sense like you are putting it, she just have a weird understanding of how things work now and how things have changed, I am having same issues with my own parents except in their own case they are willing to spend money but for the wrong reasons and not investment like I would have liked but to be funded to get married.
She is only thinking in her own ways of understanding life and its obvious as she is still living the baby girl lifestyle even at her age which is getting from others and not sharing hers even for the basic needs of the family.
@Op, your papa na senior man, I no envy am at all.

Franktom247:
All i can say is OMO but it is the blowing banger on the streets for me

Na rich people dey blow banger Abi?

i926:


His mother is even nice to him, he even got 30k from 500k . I have a friend whose mother treats her like a stranger, very cruel, curses her, cheats her, she buys expensive gifts for her, but she never appreciates etc.


If you really understand women, you will know that's her true nature that she's exhibiting. (Women are naturally narcissistic selfish beings).


Most times these women are possessed and you begin to ask questions like you did.

Not all mothers are truly mothers.

If you have a good mother, appreciate her.

You people should stop saying this thing abeg.

Women are one of the most tender and caring beings on this planet.

Some women can be horrible, very horrible but a lot of women puts their childrens first, even before their husbands.

Isaacpromise1:


and do you think a mother would be stupid and senseless enough to have turned bad like this in this part of the world without any reason whatsoever??

I have seen bad mother mothers more than her

You don't have mouth to shout at her and warn her to stop her rubbish?
Don't let anyone use "I carried you for nine months" to blackmail you. Did you beg her to give birth to you?

You see those mamas ehh na God go save us from them ,me self no dey call my mama even wen she call sometimes ion pick .