Isaacpromise1:
As much as we don’t know her side of the story, but as per your own explanation.

You need to fix your life ASAP;

He knows he needs to fix his life. He is hustling towards that. He even came up with a business plan, but his mother hindered it.

and stop expecting anything from her, father or anyone else, if they assist it’s fine, if they don’t, you move on.

There is no indication that he feels entitled to anyone's money. He wasn't complaining about anyone not giving him money. One of his problem is his mum inexplicably and wickedly being a stumbling block and hindrance to financial favours. Even if he was entitled, does that justify his mother stealing 470k of his money and spreading malicious lies about him to his grandma? NO!

He even brought a business idea to his dad and his mother hindered it, yet you are telling him that he needs to fix his life and stop being entitled. Even Jeff Bezos, Dangote and many successful people were assisted with capitals from parents/relatives to start or float their business; so nothing wrong in soliciting help from a father. Not as if he asked for money to spend for his bills and leisure, he asked it for something productive: business. Such little and major hindrances from his mother can limit his life in ways we can't quantify since we cannot tell what would have been.

Don’t you think by now, your mum or your parents should be eating the fruit of their labor and not some unnecessary billing from you, it might be part of the silent issues too

Lol. Maybe if his mum stops acting as a stumbling block and hindrance, he might grow and become someone that will "help" them. SMH.

Have you tried having a mother-son deep conversation with your mum too?

Bullsh!t.

Like my pastor once said, “something must happen for something to happen” your mother can’t just turn that bad to you overnight, try to find out what went wrong.

SMH.

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

Yours is good...compare to some of my rich friends

DispatcherLagos:
No perfect family. If I open mouth talk my own now you will thank God for having a mother like yours. However to get her thoughts out of my mind I had to travel and stay very far away from her. No calls or sms, we're both good, this is the fourth year of no communication

That's what I told my own mum.

I told her I will stay far away from her. See as the posters mother is destroying his progress. Even cutting off his favours.

Women after using their husbands to prolong their own lives, turn around to use their sons.

Later some people will be wondering why it is like men talk alot about women. Their selfishness is out of this world.

ayobamiJR:


At a time in my life, my mother wanted to keep me hostage out of love but though I was a desperate but legit hustler, she failed to understand....I developed a strong resentment towards her but it is unnecessary... See, I didn't even read your write up but please as an adult, try to understand your mum/dad, you really will miss them when they are no more...Just enjoy the moments when they are with you. When you start giving birth, you'd realise that they have made a lot of great sacrifices for you to be where you are today....Forgive and forget. Love your parents.

SMH. Low IQ is rampant.

Where i go start my own


My mother own dey her body


Like this like that everyone dey their lane


Three years now she nor send me i nor send her

My dad was sick she refused to go my dad died from the sickness she refused to go till now she don't care all she cares about is money

Anytime i enter Nigeria like this i nor wan used my eyes see her It's finished

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

Stories like this makes me worship my mother! that woman can give me her life without even thinking twice, she has proven to me over and over again that family is everything after God. My advice to you is to remain focused, avoid distractions, pray and work hard, all will be well..

pansophist:
You're being a gentleman to your detriment, and that is your problem. You should have told your uncle that it's only 30k out of the 500k you received, and that he should send money to you directly next time. You don't cover shame for someone that is shameless.

Secondly, stop giving her money you don't have. Let her call Jesus and complain, don't give. Remove what's on your eye first, before someone's else, even your mum. If you realise how people quickly forget the dead, you will stop living to please people. Kobe Bryant died a few years ago, his news spread globally, now how many people talk about him? Oga give yourself a brain.

Be careful about what you tolerate, because you're teaching others how to treat you. How others treat you is a mirror to your standards, and no one will treat you better than you will accept. Your mothers behaviour will not bother you if you develop the inner strength to handle troublesome individuals. If she knows you to be tough, you'll be her exemption to her dirty behaviour, while she focuses on dealing with your father full time.

I understand the cultural expectations of respecting your parents, but to respect someone and to tolerate their excess is foolishness, and your respect has no value. When people know you as a man of honour, your respect will be valued, as well as your wrath. Know when to be a gentleman, and when to be a mentally deranged tout, because that's the language weak people understand. You can't be one, without strengthening the other. Just like the taller a tree, the deeper it's roots.

For now, seek on financial independence and don't sacrifice yourself stupidly. Your intuition is always telling you what to do but many times, people look outward, instead of inward. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it, and damn the consequences. What's worse? She would stop talking to you? Well for me, that will be great.

Love is thicker than water, not blood. If her existence in your life is more of pain than happiness, then you either choose yourself or her, and if its your mum, will she choose you instead of her happiness ? Learning to live is a skill, please develop it, and most things won't even bother you.

...

A mother wey suppose ginger make palee drop so that her son can be financially stable instead she dey block... That woman can never be your mum.. Go and ask questions

Dear Mr Henry Ford..
With every behavioural pattern and trait your mom has showed so far, if they're true, you're dealing with an A-grade Narcissist who's suffering from a chronic case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD). The chronic entitlement mentality, victim playing, use of flying monkeys, gossiping, envy, gaslighting, manipulation, smear campaigns, self indulgent and self centered vane attitude are some symptoms of NPD. She may be covert/vulnerable or overt/grandiose but most definitely suffering from NPD. I'm well versed in the study of human nature. I recommend you speak with a psychotherapist about this, it isn't a spiritual problem and has nothing to do with jazz, your mom is psychologically ill and will keep hurting and damaging people around her without knowing it. She wants to keep you and everyone else around her under her perpetual control and what better way to do that than to take the little you have when you're obviously struggling and also to force you into a marriage knowing fully well you aren't yet financially capable while completely ignoring and paying deaf ears to every other plans you propose that may elevate you, knowing it will trap you and keep you in perpetual impoverishment and dependence making you remain under her influence and control. It may shock you to know that she's completely unaware of the negative impact what she does is having on you because she's unable to empathise, she's all about herself. If you can't afford a psychologist then hit me up as I may be able to help you with tips on how to handle her how you should.

DispatcherLagos:
No perfect family. If I open mouth talk my own now you will thank God for having a mother like yours. However to get her thoughts out of my mind I had to travel and stay very far away from her. No calls or sms, we're both good, this is the fourth year of no communication

try make peace with her and communicate frequently but still maintain your distance and dont share good news with her....you might regret the long silence when she's dead

I really don't understand the kind of Virtue Signalling you guys are doing on this topic

A mother that doesn't support her son, feels entitled to his little earnings even though she's ten times better than him in terms of earnings.

A mother that took 500k sent for her son and lie she gave him the whole money and even stopped the son's dad from helping him is you people are telling Op to understand

Your mum doesn't like you baba and I am surprised.

Go to your father privately and talk to him as a man. Tell him all this and tell him that anything he wants to do for you must be between you too.

Your mum is a typical example of these girls we are seeing nowadays. They don't care about marriage or anyone. They just want to be taken care of.

Children is even a burden to them because you guys are taken all the attention she used to get when she was young

Upcoming generation will have 100,000 examples of your mum.

It's very painful for me to admit this but that's the truth

I really don't understand the kind of Virtue Signalling you guys are doing on this topic

A mother that doesn't support her son, feels entitled to his little earnings even though she's ten times better than him in terms of earnings.

A mother that took 500k sent for her son and liee she gave him the whole money and I am surprised.

Go to your father privately and talk to him as a man. Tell him all this and tell him that anything he wants to do for you must be between you too.

Your mum is a typical example of these girls we are seeing nowadays. They don't care about marriage or anyone. They just want to be taken care of.

Children is even a burden to them because you guys are taken all the attention she used to get when she was young

Upcoming generation will have 100,000 examples of your mum.

It's very painful for me to admit this but that's the truth

I can't imaging this kind thing happening because up till now, my mother's action shows that she can still die for me.

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

She's not your biological mother. Do your research on her well

specimenv:
I hope its not my mum you are talking about? It seems we share the same mum. Its tiring abeg, mine even hid all the xmas meat because i could not contribute towards it, like she wants me to steal. I have learnt to ignore and be on my lane.

I hope you are not talking about my MOTHER too. My mother will not receive any money from me for the next 3 years as a punishment. She is extremely greed and at mere 63-year-old, she does not want to do anything in life again and wants you to focus all your life on her.

She loves MONEY more than her life and she expects you to give her all the time and she would never give you a dime.
In 2020, I gave her 900K nairas to pay her rent and buy provisions for her small shop that she did show to me. (Also the highest I gave in 2020 besides her was 285K nairas to my aunt and 245K nairas to my senior sister). The money for provisions was spent on a Celestial priestess to bind me. She gave her my pictures and she provided big candles to concoct the articles.

How did we find out? My senior sister never lived with her once, she always lived with grandma on the father's side. Because of lack of parental guidance, she became unruly and never even finished Primary School. After I gave my Mom 900K nairas, she went and brought her in to live with her and maybe she would get her life together.
But my mom can never accommodate nobody, and I warned my senior sister too. She could not even spend 2 weeks there before all hell broke out.

She said my mom does not leave keys for her and her twin boys and in a one-bedroom-n-parlor self-contain, she would come to the parlor with her toilet bowl or a plastic commode just to irritate my senior sister. She could not take it and they started fighting each other. My mother did the same to me but this time, it was her menstrual rags. Those things smell to the pit of hell. She could not afford to buy pads and would always re-wash the rags, but she could have left them outside and just watch over them. Her excuse was the JUJU people might snatch menstrual rags for VOODOO. I understand but she was just trying to kick me out of the face-me-I-face-you room that we were managing at that time.

The whole room would be smelling like abattoir. It was not even her money to rent the room, it a good Samaritan that sent money from oversea and she wanted her to get a room and parlor, but she decided to get a room and kept the rest of the money.
I lived there with her and my other 2 siblings for 19 months. Just one evening, she packed all my clothes and dumped them in open gutter. I would be sleeping; she would wake me up and send me out because she has a visitor coming and she does not want me to listen to their conversations. I was going to beat the hell out of her, but I cautioned myself and I was homeless for 2 months before I eventually got my own face-me-I-face-you room too. I had just finished High school and that also made me one of the youngest guys living on their own. Most kids after high school will still be living with their parents.

Then she went and brought a man to live with her, I was happy for her because she got a man now (since my father died long time ago and I don't give a Bleep if she gets a man), and they now lived to together. Since that day, I would never let my mother pray for me till I die. I have pardoned her and every time I send her some money from America, she would want to pray for me, I always cut her off and she knows better. She is also very secretive; she would never tell any of her children how much she was making or her salaries when she was working. First of all, not a white-collar job to warrant maybe she was making a huge money. She just would not tell anybody talk-less of giving you some money. Albeit, she wants to know everything about your own money.

To cut the long story short, the first time my sister (her first born) stepped into the apartment to start living with her. My mom ran an errant and that gave my sister the opportunity to look further in the apartment. She found the giant candles with my pictures tied to them and some nonsense wrapped around them. Now, my sister was looking for ways to find out the reason why she had to bind me like that. She finally confessed that the Cele-lady was powerful that I don't use to give her money like that but after the lady did the binding, she started receiving money from me.

I don't believe in Hoppus Copus, but my only worry is, why would a woman that has retired from everything would bind someone that is just starting life? I am in late 30s and don't have children yet and yes, I am just starting life. Within the 3 years that I won't be talking to her, I want to start having kids too. I will be in Nigeria this year to arrange all that.

That is why Western Society does not allow anybody to leech on anybody. Most adults of my age in America, only think about 401K or retirement plans. They don't give their parents or siblings any dime. You will want to help people in Nigeria, and they still want to go extra miles on you. I am paranoid about everything in Nigeria. If my mother could bind me, what about the new wife that has recently come into my life?!

Guys the best gift you can give to ur kids is a good woman.. Avoid slay Queens and karashikas... E get why..

this is my respnse to the other thread where the guy said his girl friend ran away when he wanted to share marriage responsibilities

https://www.nairaland.com/6922097/girlfriend-ran-away-because-proposed/4

i swear, you are the best guy on Nairaland. lots of married men for Naija go die before there time. i always tell guys, that pussy go tire you once marriage enter, in marriage there are bills to pay, real bills ohh, children go chop, them go waste food, them go spoil your chairs, table, my second Daughter done put hole beneath my room door, if i like make i lock the door dey cuddle madam, this 2 and half year old pikin go just enter my room via the hole when she create for my door. sometimes she go enter my room, lock the door and pass the hole come outside, if i won enter my room, i nor go fit enter, i go got to go call them to pass under the door to take open the door. This Dec festive period, i was sick because too much of bills. Most naija girls, 90 percent of them are wired to be lazy, even in relationship, they cant even help a guy, person when nor fit help guy, na she won help for marriage? OP i swear you be the best guy ever. If you won marry any woman, let her know, you have to bring something good into this marriage, not just PUSSY. She needs to understand that if your problem is pussy, there are fucking pussy everywhere. OP i salute your courage. from Dec 20th to to 3rd Jan i done spend more than 200k, watin I even chop self? Nothing, na wife and children. OP if I were as smart as you during my time, I swear I for get BETTER REST OF MIND NOW.Do you know what it means when you need even 500k, and you know your wife GOT your back without any shaking? OP you are blessed.


All i can say here is your papa dey form hard man to take care of him wife and children, yet your mother dey flex her money. someone also said in the thread that her father caters for all there needs in the house and her father doesn't share money responsibility with her mum. One question for you... Your father choose to suffer because he wants to be an HYPER MALE. When him die, your mama go still come claim all watin the man work for, yet the man know enjoy life, to me, your father just came to suffer... Well i nor get must to talk sha. But she woman when get car, she nor fit repair her car herself na your old man go do everything for her, but while are men so stupid? i swear, i can come and die for my children, not to talk of my wife. Am trying all my best to take care of them, but if he hard, i go tell my wife and kids, SORRY PEOPLE I CANT COME AND KILL MYSELF. This life hard, this life hard, i prefer to dey drink garri than make i die.

I think your mother is just the example of the kind of Nairaland babes when we get, they dont want to work, but wan to eat fat, even when they work, they choose not to spend there money and keep waiting for a foolish man to fall for there trap.

SHA NOR RESEMBLE YOUR MAMA WHEN YOU MARRY.


op so you be man.... men na wa ohh. your mama nor try at all.

This op na comedian oo

The last part of your story just make me burst laugh, he say na blow banger up and down and driving tire naked

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

You took the word off my mouth

There is more to this

Poverty is a bastard!...bro I understand you o.. having a mom and dad is a blessing!...double your hustle...pray hard...money go come!!!.. don't tell anybody about your plans...only ask for help, if they assist you thank God and if they didn't assist you thank God.. money go come bro from a legit way.... God go see us through.

Sorry did u say she is your mother?

Dogasas:

I remember when my own mother blocked me from traveling out with the lame excuse that I wasn't gonna keep in touch and I was gonna forget home. My uncle based in newyork was ready to come pick me and sponsor everything. He even sent money to get my passport which I did sharply. . Naso this woman stood in the way . It got so bad she started raising voice on my uncle . The man just quietly left us alone and stopped picking even my own calls. This happened in 2009. Till date I'm still stucked in naija. E pain me sha and anytime I see her I remember that incident but life goes on .

This is exactly what we are talking about.

Someone is offering free movement to US. It won't cost her a dime but she blocked it because she feels she gave birth to you.

What other kind of wickedness is above this?

You can now imagine what their husbands passed through in their hands.

Isaacpromise1:


A woman who raised you up to the stage you are, probably she and the father sponsored your education along with other finances SUDDENLY turned wicked and greedy overnight?
Does that even make any sense? What happened along the line? Has he tried finding out? Has he tried finding solution? Instead of crying fowl and giving the mother bad image what reasonable step has he taken to resolve the issue … No one even knows the woman side of the story but according to HIS explanation her mother is Bad and Wicked! …

like i said, “things don’t just happen, something must happen for something to happen”

You are not entirely reasoning things through. Taking care of a child is the most basic thing every parent does, even animals do that. That does not give that parent the moral justification to mess up the mental well-being of the child with illogical demands and manipulations. One of my exes went to the university without the support of her mom. Her mom insisted that she was too young to be in the university. And so she hated her own daughters guts for going against her wish to forfeit her admission. Throughout her stay at the university, her mom never gave her any money or encouragement. Today, this my ex is a master degree holder, has a federal job and also a private one. She singlehandedly rebuilt their dilapidated family house, and just got married this last December.
Some parents are parents from her. It does matter what good they have done for you, but unknowingly frustrating one's own child is witchcraft.

Seriously I totally gat your point, but this is a motivation for you to know that you have to earn your living yourself. Again,, let go of family face the hurdle of life an reason in another dimension of life, it's not juicy when things are falling apart, but I promise you sooner you will laugh on this matter.

Isaacpromise1:


A woman who raised you up to the stage you are, probably she and the father sponsored your education along with other finances SUDDENLY turned wicked and greedy overnight?
Does that even make any sense? What happened along the line? Has he tried finding out? Has he tried finding solution? Instead of crying fowl and giving the mother bad image what reasonable step has he taken to resolve the issue … No one even knows the woman side of the story but according to HIS explanation her mother is Bad and Wicked! …

like i said, “things don’t just happen, something must happen for something to happen”

Can you just keep quiet, this boy?
You're unnecessarily distracting me from reading sensible advice from more informed people here.

pansophist:
You're being a gentleman to your detriment, and that is your problem. You should have told your uncle that it's only 30k out of the 500k you received, and that he should send money to you directly next time. You don't cover shame for someone that is shameless.

Secondly, stop giving her money you don't have. Let her call Jesus and complain, don't give. Remove what's on your eye first, before someone's else, even your mum. If you realise how people quickly forget the dead, you will stop living to please people. Kobe Bryant died a few years ago, his news spread globally, now how many people talk about him? Oga give yourself a brain.

Be careful about what you tolerate, because you're teaching others how to treat you. How others treat you is a mirror to your standards, and no one will treat you better than you will accept. Your mothers behaviour will not bother you if you develop the inner strength to handle troublesome individuals. If she knows you to be tough, you'll be her exemption to her dirty behaviour, while she focuses on dealing with your father full time.

I understand the cultural expectations of respecting your parents, but to respect someone and to tolerate their excess is foolishness, and your respect has no value. When people know you as a man of honour, your respect will be valued, as well as your wrath. Know when to be a gentleman, and when to be a mentally deranged tout, because that's the language weak people understand. You can't be one, without strengthening the other. Just like the taller a tree, the deeper it's roots.

For now, seek on financial independence and don't sacrifice yourself stupidly. Your intuition is always telling you what to do but many times, people look outward, instead of inward. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it, and damn the consequences. What's worse? She would stop talking to you? Well for me, that will be great.

Love is thicker than water, not blood. If her existence in your life is more of pain than happiness, then you either choose yourself or her, and if its your mum, will she choose you instead of her happiness ? Learning to live is a skill, please develop it, and most things won't even bother you.

This your advice sweet me eh! Na my personal happiness first! And no matter who you are, you can't blackmail me to do otherwise!!!

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

This is exactly the kind of mother I have in my own case
I dey always think if she's my biological mother

Never allow anyone blackmail or treat you like shiiit because they are your blood. Not even your mom, dad, siblings or children.

siofra:
Some women have no business being mothers. Sorry OP.

even more worrisome is that many men have no business being men,I stopped read the post when the op complained that her mother took the #500k sent to him and gave him #30k only and he also played along in the charade,most times we are the architects of our own problems,if you keep on backpedaling,playing along and complaining on naira land you will continue to be disrespected,learn to stand up and speak out for what is yours,respect is earned not by playing along and covering your head in the sand like the ostrich,

Isaacpromise1:
As much as we don’t know her side of the story, but as per your own explanation.

You need to fix your life ASAP; and stop expecting anything from her, father or anyone else, if they assist it’s fine, if they don’t, you move on.

Don’t you think by now, your mum or your parents should be eating the fruit of their labor and not some unnecessary billing from you, it might be part of the silent issues too

Have you tried having a mother-son deep conversation with your mum too?

Like my pastor once said, “something must happen for something to happen” your mother can’t just turn that bad to you overnight, try to find out what went wrong

Guy either you didn't read the write up well or you are worse than his mother.
How can you expect the guy to fix his life ASAP when his mother is blocking his source of help which she will definitely benefit from when he finally makes it.
I thought mothers were supposed to go extra mile in order to make sure their children succeed because their children success is also their success.
We all need help in life in one way or another cuz no man is an island which is all the guy is asking for period

Karleb:


You people should stop saying this thing abeg.

Women are one of the most tender and caring beings on this planet.

Some women can be horrible, very horrible but a lot of women puts their childrens first, even before their husbands.

You dey mind them

the best thing u can do is to stay far away from here, try as much as possible