Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

You did wrong,but ur wife is a wicked woman.
She is very wicked

Arsenate:

Kinda love how you are about to burst an artery on this issue but always happily troll men who open threads on paternity fraud.

Not news that you've always been bias towards women so your opinions and labels of men don't hold any weight to me, tbh. Hopefully op sees it that way and doesn't feel guilty by your words.

heard she's married.
how I wish I can just reach out to her husband and show him the evil comments of his so called wife

You did what every sane man would regret by beating your wife and then forcing yourself on her.

But given the sexual condition of your marriage it is bound to happen sooner or later, and then cheating will starts from there, that is not to say your actions are justified, very far from it; your actions are outright condemnable.

If your wife won't allow you have sex with her then have you tried talking with her to know why? If you have tried and they're was no response from her and the issue couldn't be resolved by both parties, have you tried getting a divorce? I know it not an easy thing to get a divorce on sexual ground when you're still in love, maybe you should have involved her closest friend, parent, elder sister (if any) in trying to find out what's going on with her.

Now you have to go to her parent/your parent and explained what happened and then have them help you out....

You fvck up Sha!

Pm

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

Drop me an email let me guide you on what to do. By God's grace, your family's joy will be restored.

How do you guys even survive? Going a whole month with out sex

socialmediaman:


You have to give her time and support. Taking responsibility means accepting that she needs time to heal from the trauma you caused. You hurt your wife and you want her to bounce back to normal immediately so that you can have a good meal? It sounds selfish and insensitive. It seems spousal rape isn’t captured in Nigeria’s penal code, if that’s the case, I suggest you do your time showing remorse and making reparations

Edit: as Amarisco suggested, You need professional help to manage your anger problems. Your wife also needs therapy to heal from the trauma.

BS. No therapy.
How many Nigerian men rape their wives in Nigeria? Am sure we don't know that statistics.
Given the circumstances many men would react like he did, that doesn't make the action good. So pls noone should come and say I support it.
Give it time. Try to communicate. She needs her space, give it to her.
Give her the TLC she needs, U married her so U know her better than anyone. Once she turns around and ready to talk. Then talk

Christinaog:

Men are scum

including your dad

But that is y olosho, runs girl and side chicks roles are created.....just try and appease her make she forgive u.....
If she refuse u sex, carry olosho, runs girl or side chick...but pay as u go (olosho/runs girl) is preferable as a married man..no string attached.

Our fathers are always wiser than us..they all have side women in the village

drnoel:


BS. No therapy.
How many Nigerian men rape their wives in Nigeria? Am sure we don't know that statistics.
Given the circumstances many men would react like he did, that doesn't make the action good. So pls noone should come and say I support it.
Give it time. Try to communicate. She needs her space, give it to her.
Give her the TLC she needs, U married her so U know her better than anyone. Once she turns around and ready to talk. Then talk

So you think it's ok to live with such trauma and function optimally? You don't think that woman may likely lose her sense of worth and develop some negative mental impression about herself, men and life in general? You don't think she could develop depression based on the traumatic experience? You don't think she'll also teach that mental picture to her children? You don't think she could develop some anger that could provoke violent behavior against her husband or children? Look around you. aggressive people everywhere, angry people everywhere. You think it's ok?

Christinaog:

Men are scum

Kai!! You know.

But why is she denying you sex?

Noah9:

I have apologized. I even bought a little gift along side but I saw them inside the trash nylon bag when I came back from work.

I haven't eaten good meal for some days now. Just meat-pie and juice or indomie.

I don't know what to do. I'm truly sorry about my actions.

First of all, why is your wife denying you sex? What are her reasons?

socialmediaman:


So you think it's ok to live with such trauma and function optimally? You don't think that woman may likely lose her sense of worth and develop some negative mental impression about herself, men and life in general? You don't think she could develop depression based on the traumatic experience? You don't think she'll also teach that mental picture to her children? You don't think she could develop some anger that could provoke violent behavior against her husband or children? Look around you. aggressive people everywhere, angry people everywhere. You think it's ok?

No I don't think so. The issue can be managed in their household amongst themselves. The day he takes it to a therapist that don't know shit about them, that is the day their problems begin.
He just needs to be perseverant in getting his wife to talk to him about it and settle the issue. Only way to achieve that is to show her how penitent he is. If he needs to grapple on the floor for her to listen to him then so be it. His begging her doesn't remove the fact that is is the man of the house. It's just balancing situations that would get things where they should be

Picktrust:


First of all, why is your wife denying you sex? What are her reasons?

I doubt there is any reason. Sex shouldn't be used as a weapon but women have alway weaponised sex from time immemorial. The issue just degraded to what happened

drnoel:


No I don't think so. The issue can be managed in their household amongst themselves. The day he takes it to a therapist that don't know shit about them, that is the day their problems begin.
He just needs to be perseverant in getting his wife to talk to him about it and settle the issue. Only way to achieve that is to show her how penitent he is. If he needs to grapple on the floor for her to listen to him then so be it. His begging her doesn't remove the fact that is is the man of the house. It's just balancing situations that would get things where they should be

If OP doesn't see a professional to help them, there's a good chance that he'll do it again and the cycle will repeat itself over and over. There's a sense of accomplishment that comes with doing something heinous like this and getting away with it. Looking at his story, he regrets his action not because of how awfully wrong and distasteful it was, but because she took it too far and it affected his meals and entitlements. In essence, "I'm sorry that I lost our friendship because of what I did, not because I did something wrong that could affect you forever"

Your first mistake was to talk to her about it after it has happened

You should have kept quiet first


If hadn’t denied you sex

Such thing wouldn’t have occurred

Next time
Go outside and pay clean runs babe wey go give you better doggy.


If I notice that my wife is leading me into violence

I will either leave or she leaves

Women remain the ultimate manipulator, and as a man it doesn't really matter if you see through the manipulation or not, for sake of peace you'd need to pick which of the manipulation you'd turn a blind eye to and fall into.

90% of men who proposed to their girls felt they did it on their own volution, but deep down they know the women planted all the ideas , the time, place ,how they want it etc. The power of being a woman is not being in leadership but subtle act of making the man feel he's in control while they control his decisions, he takes the risk of action, they take the result of it, this is why a woman will do nothing and still claim that he made a man who he's become, now before you think it's just brag, she's actually right. Sex, weakness, guilt ,seduction are few of the tools in their arsenal.

In your case sir, you fell into her trap, she's ochestrated everything, and if she's not giving you sex there's already a reason for this, maybe she's no longer down with the marriage, seeing someone else or have issues with you not yet sorted. you forcefully raping her gave her the ammunition she needs to play the victim and puts her in full position of control while you remain in guilt. She control the odds, you fell into her hands because you allowed your dick do the thinking.
I hate to say this, but you made the matter worse by begging.

You should be happy you are not living abroad, by now your wife would have put you in jail.

Just be thankful you are in Nigeria, that's all I have to say.

The Bible says a wise woman builds her house, while a foolish woman plucks it down... Op I am not gonna say what you did was not wrong it was really wrong.
You see your wife just destroyed her marriage by herself. Why will she hoard or deny you sex, a man is a man he needs sex not that he wants sex, sex for a man is an inmate need, this need does not make a man a bad person, but it's his natural drive to have sex because it engrained in his biological genetic make up.
That's why I say in Nigeria alot of men are going through many thingy they can't voice out. Nigerian men are really trying.. the bills, the work, the effort, the energy put into making sure their families work is something I applaud them, yet many of them are not really appreciated.
You see marriage is for matured people and both parties have to be really matured. No matter what the issue I believe couples should communicate, if couples can not communicate then there will be crack in that marriage it's only a matter of time before the marriage ends. Why deny your husband sex, if he goes out to cheat society will call him names, yet he got married to have one he can relate with sexually. Your wife is wrong at all cost no matter what...
You have asked her to forgive you, but don't continue to beg her, begging her weakens your masculinity, she pushed you into this position and reaction, but society will not see it from that perspective you will be labeled all manners of names.
Pls Op, let her be for now... You are a good man, don't continue to beg her, your value in her eyes will continue to reduce.
Let her be, sort yourself and try to fix your life, you are not a woman beater that you know... Denying you sex was what led to this. I have seen scenarios played out like this were the man was denied sex and he started raping his daughter or daughters.
Pls Op.. don't beg her any more...
Just walk away for a while if you can't stay in the house, find someone to talk to to solve it if that's not working.. you can walk away
I don't know why lots of women are so selfish and self centered....

socialmediaman:


If OP doesn't see a professional to help them, there's a good chance that he'll do it again and the cycle will repeat itself over and over. There's a sense of accomplishment that comes with doing something heinous like this and getting away with it. Looking at his story, he regrets his action not because of how awfully wrong and distasteful it was, but because she took it too far and it affected his meals and entitlements. In essence, "I'm sorry that I lost our friendship because of what I did, not because I did something wrong that could affect you forever"

No I don't agree with you. It depends on the OP and how far he is ready to make sure what he did doesn't repeat itself.
I mean when U have a partner that weaponizes things like this, you can be rest assured things like this may happen. They don't have to repeat themselves ofcos depending on how they both manage the issues.

Dear Op, I realize that I judged you too quickly. Sorry about that. I took it personal because of some experiences. That being said, I'm glad you're remorseful. Please remember to communicate and talk things out always. Even your great anger, whether justified or not is better communicated with words than action. You can also pray about your marital situation if things don't get better.
Let love lead.

blaquebelle:
God please save that poor woman from this man. This is how chronic abusers start. Tueh.

Why would you force yourself on anybody, talk more of someone you claim you love. How can you even enjoy it when your partner is feeling disgusted. She bled and you still forced her like that. You're an animal.

Now you're buying her gifts. What stopped you from buying her a gift before or trying to convince, cajol and tease her into having sex. Instead of you to investigate what her problem with frequent sex is or how to find her buttons you assaulted and molested her. You should be in jail please.

I pray for the day Nigeria would start working properly so that you'll be in jail by now instead of coming online to rant and say rubbish. Atleast that way there won't be a next time.

Mtchewwww

My wife deny me sex...she do herself..

If you are truly sorry, just ask God to forgive you and keep praying that God touches her heart to forgive you. You can't force someone to forgive you.

Just accept your mistake and live your life. To er is human but to forgive is divine, only God can touch her heart to forgive you.

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

Allow her come over what you did to her, now your dick will remain calm because he has eaten his food and his hunger had gone away

Remain the good husband that you have always been with her and uu have to give her time to come back to her normal self

Just remain a good husband, your humblenes and obedience will heal her mind

Women don't place high premium on sex like men, maybe because they may have some challenges that affects their emotions and that's it

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

Bloody psychopath

I wonder how long she has starved you for you not to be able to control yourself and end up raping her.

Which one is Rape the woman you married always denying you sex kia and ur feeling remorseful for having sex with her Kia what has men turn into since she's denying you sex set her down inform her that you will start getting it out if she still feels she don't care one night come back home with a lady walk straight to you bedroom make sure she see u walking in with her but do not have sex with her plan it in a way she will feel ur having sex with her. FOr ask or divorce

these set of married men stress me a lot.... if she doesn't give u sex for a month...
cheat.... cheat..
if she catch you... u tell her she's hoarding it so u went somewhere else to get it

Wow...I understand that you feel it's your right to have your wife's body anytime you choose to and that is what the Bible expressly advises the womenfolk but you see these women ehn...hmmn. I understand the power of 'kongi' could overpower one's senses at times but should that now lead one to rape his own spouse? Never! One thing we also need to consider is that we are all human, your wife doesn't feel like having sex, and you did feel like having sex, both are desires that should be respected in marriage but what does one do since they are not mutually agreeable desires? One thing would be to look outside for another woman to sleep with but that desecrates the idea of marriage in the first place!

The thing tire person aswear, I have personally learned to disabuse my mind off sex and instead concentrate on other creative activities that would not keep me at the mercy of any woman...may God guide you and may he restore your wife's love for you. Amen.