.

safarigirl:


First victim of what?

If you ask me for my biro and I refuse to give you, does that make you a victim? Does that give you the right to slap me and collect the biro?

There is no part of the world you will go to that refusal for sex is a crime, none. But there are many parts of the world that spousal rape is a crime.

You do not have to debase yourself to animalistic ways because something is not going your way. If resorting to violence is the only way you think someone can get something, then there is something severely wrong with your upbringing

Not when we both own the biro.

This is marriage not dating. Two has become one.
Refusal of sex ( for no just reason) by any of the partners is negligence of conjugal duty.
Some men when they're sex starved they portray /develop animalistic instincts. Me, I just leave you and move to plan B.

I'm not defending the man's violent reaction but don't come here and say the wife is not wrong. She boxed the husband into a tight corner and he reacted differently.
They're both victims

[quote author=Christinaog post=109267015]
Men are scum [/quote
One Yoruba demon don break this one heart.

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

You did bad for rapping her but she should share from the blame,why acting as if she was not the cause? Sorry to speak about your wife like that,but looks like she wants to destroy her marriage by herself. Many woman are crying for sex from the husband, husband non dey mind because of side chick.

ibechris:



U think being a husband is all about making money and keeping the family together.

See Mr man, face your front if u have nothing meaningful to contribute.

Because women don't hustle to make money and women don't also keep the family together.

Common talk another thing

AlphaAlex:
This is why you Guys should have side pieces that you use just for sex, situations like this would have been avoided. There’s no need to beg your wife for Sex , if you ask once and she says No just Jejely get off the bed grab your keys call your side piece knack the shit out of her and Go back home. Then don’t ask your wife for Sex For About a month she will be the one begging you... You just Acted like a Weak man and you have confirmed to your wife that She Married a weak Man . Do better next time the deed has already been done. Swallow your pride and apologise

Marry first make you know the how far.

obinoral1179:
You must have done something for her to deny you sex for a month...... If you guys are Christians go to Your pastor and report yourself let them call her and they will listen to both you if not look for someone she respect and talk to the person and let them talk to her on your behalf...

It’s not a new thing,

Women deny men sex for no reason.. they will just say “I’m not in the mood”

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

Please Mr, bro. To be sincere am a married man, see your wife deserved what she got because she push you into that bro, Sir you have beg her what else does she want she should take it anywhere she did bad, please free her I beg

Noah9:

I have apologized. I even bought a little gift along side but I saw them inside the trash nylon bag when I came back from work.

I haven't eaten good meal for some days now. Just meat-pie and juice or indomie.

I don't know what to do. I'm truly sorry about my actions.

who is this one sef, if your story is even true, how can you come on a public forum and tell us "your wife"refused you sex most cases 3months and you are still under thesame roof with such woman? Is this new form of lies in 2022? We need to ear from the woman side of the story, anyone can not just come here and lie thinking we're fool

cococandy:
Your wife needs to divorce you. Unfortunately she’s not here to read the advice. It would be thoroughly disgusting being married to a rapist. Excuse me while I puke

I was looking forward to your comment, glad you commented here I also puked too, why on earth is the wife still with him?

Eatfucksleep:
How do you guys even survive? Going a whole month with out sex

Eat,

Bleep,

Sleep.

Truly, you can't survive without any .

InTheCloudySky:
You didn't bother asking her/finding out what was going on with her or in your marriage (you obviously had pre-existing issues that may have caused her to withdraw from you) to have refused you, but you resorted to violence.

As if slapping her wasn't bad enough, slapping her to the extent of her bleeding in the mouth meant you did it with a lot of force, not to mention the force you obviously used to rape her. The act of rape in itself is an act of violence. Sorry (not sorry): you're a beast. After being violent towards her x2, what do you expect?

Get on your knees, plead with her and ask for her forgiveness, then let her know you won't ever repeat such violent actions towards her again. Secondly, you're selfish if you're expecting her to cook for you after what you've done. You should be the one cooking for her during this time ―to appease her. Things should fall back into place if you start doing that and catering more to her, then you two can go see a sound marriage Therapist to work out your issues. Otherwise keep eating the indomie you've been eating.

Try this you are a mad man

Awise09:
Please Mr, bro. To be sincere am a married man, see your wife deserved what she got because she push you into that bro, Sir you have beg her what else does she want she should take it anywhere she did bad, please free her I beg

She deserves to be raped? Are you guys normal?

I want to marry good girl, I want to marry good girl. But your sexual appetite is like a raving beast. While Aunty is pretending to be the good wife you married until her death.

Christinaog:

Men are scum

men are not scum Ma your father is a man your boyfriend and the several Men you play with are not scum stop acting like you don’t have sense .

You have committed a great offence and she would never forgive you till she die. Best thing you can do now is to just divorce her cause you life is not safe now anything can happen.

My brother, obviously there's a crack on the wall of your marriage which devil took advantage of becos he saw something great coming your way. Pls fix this crack so it will not become cracks with time. Keep the apology flowing, repent genuinely, with time you'll have ur wife back by God's grace.

InTheCloudySky:
1. It doesn't matter if you're dating someone, or are married, no means no. Whether na your babe or wife, rape is rape and is a crime in both instances.

2. Learn to read. He said "recently", meaning her refusal is recent, not over a long period. Even if it were over a long period (which isn't the case), the right thing to do would've been talk to her or seek professional help together to get to the root of the matter, not abuse and rape her. Forcing anyone to have sex with you, whether na your babe or wife = rape.

I don't support abuse of any kind but let's not be sentimental here....

Beating and Forcing his way to his legal wife is not actually heavy to compare other RAPE and BTW it's an ABUSE not RAPE , there's no law that back that up at least not Nigeria. In as much I totally condemned his actions....
And secondly here is exact statement of the OP.... Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it......

Certainly there was underlining issue already or how can you explain how a wife will refuse her husband sex for a period of a month or so without tangible reason such as health related or religious beliefs at least let her husband understand what's going on or see a reason to let her be for those period of time.

All the same I still condem the both actions of the man and that of his wife too..

Jamesbiodun:
Both of you are at fault though, why will your wife sex starve you
Raping her is bad too...
I don't think your wife really love you as you say coz no sane wife will sex starved her husband without giving a concrete reason...
If she had a reason you won't even think of having sex or trying to force her for sex, she is the one that caused this shit...
Better know your stand maybe she has been getting sex somewhere and doesn't enjoy yours this is why she didn't want sex with you...
Peace be unto both of you

She is

ImaIma1:
You should have had a serious talk with her nau. Even if she was at fault for withholding sex, your actions have made her right.

It would have been better if you had reported her to a family member. Now you can't even afford to involve anyone because of the shame.

I think at this point if you cannot get through to her, you should report yourself to someone she respects. And please, don't ever do that again.

They both were never right ... call a spade a spade... she started it first... both are wrong

Actually, beating her is wrong. You suppose talk to her first by ask her why she use to denied you sex and if she refused to change, report her to her parents and if she refused to change after that, send her to her parents. Sex is one of reason man married. If you refused to take that bold step, it will be get worst everyday.

safarigirl:


First victim of what?

If you ask me for my biro and I refuse to give you, does that make you a victim? Does that give you the right to slap me and collect the biro?

There is no part of the world you will go to that refusal for sex is a crime, none. But there are many parts of the world that spousal rape is a crime.

You do not have to debase yourself to animalistic ways because something is not going your way. If resorting to violence is the only way you think someone can get something, then there is something severely wrong with your upbringing

The average naira land male is a big disappointment.

you both should see a counsellor and stop asking for nonsense forgiveness, you both have fault



asking her for forgiveness will only put more power in her hands, she's wrong to denied you sex, even if she's nursing emotional trauma, fatigue or health issues, she's expected to discuss it with you. going on a month denial of sex, she's going on 6months with you



better try and see a counsellor to counsel you or talk to someone she respected to iron things out, you will always be angered when she denied you sex, it make a man look inferior when a lady decide what not and what to do



though I'm against physical assault but forceful of sex you both should apologise to each other and not only you seek forgiveness

You be fool, leave am go find person wey fine Pass am, them full dey troway for town, na she go come beg, hmmm, u sure say she no dey do outside game?

Cantonese:


Very myopic assertion friend. How did you get to the conclusion suddenly that his wife was wrong? If the wife decides to pursue the matter legally, then he goes to jail for what is called “marital rape”. The man was wrong in all areas.

OP claimed to be a good husband and father. What stopped him from finding out what was wrong with his “beautiful wife”? In marriages couples pass through certain emotional challenges that make sex the least of issues that bother them. In such moments sex becomes a big issue. It behoves the other partner to help find a solution, otherwise the marriage could be on a path of destruction. Seeing that his wife was pushing him away, he should have given her time to fix her emotional challenges and all would be well again. Now we see that OP is a very inexperienced husband.

“There is simply no submissiveness in that woman”. How? Did OP tell you that he had other issues aside from sex? Submissiveness is not all about sex, friend, otherwise at your command either your wife or husband would jump into bed like a slave.

OP now has done his worst and presently receives the worst of reactions from his wife and total loss of respect. Now also trust is lost. OP exposes himself as a rapist too. He cannot be trusted with women around him.

He needs to keep appealing to his wife, make her begin to respect him again. Find out what the emotional issues are and help her overcome them. That’s the way forward.

U can as well visit their house to make peace.

I only commented based on what I read and gave my point,but if u think u are the best adviser,nothing stops u from doing the needful.
Since u are stupid not to mind the kind of words to use.

You have made that mistake and thank God you admitted that you are wrong. I feel like this your story is not yet complete, your wife can't just denialed you of sex like that, something must have happened that you never took time to observed or you are not telling us. Above all, she is wrong to use that as a way to get back at you. Just plead with her and let her know the consequences of her behavior towards you. Next time, try to do some findings.

Fake stupid story.

Cantonese:


Marry first make you know the how far.

Baba if and when I Marry my wife will know I am going to have a few side pieces on the side , Heck she will even know their Names I don’t have time to start begging a woman I married in my home for sex. I will never do it I only ask once and if she says she’s not in the mood I will locate one of my side pieces and have sex then come back home to my wife... It’s because men are scared of Telling women the truth that’s why they fall into situations like this .. I’m not scared of losing any woman, the woman I will eventually marry will know this and she’ll go along with it if she want to keep me. It’s that simple Life no hard na man Dey make him life hard by himself

If a woman started denying her husband sex, meaning two things. 1. probably she's no longer enjoying her husband sexually. 2. Having extramarital affairs. Your action towards her is justified since you have no alternative. But for the situation not to go out of hand, u have to invite your pastor or anyone whom you think she's respected. But next time, before taking action , call her attention both day and midnight to know the genesis of the cause.

I'm sorry I don't believe there's marital rape. But slapping her wasn't the best.
I will advice you to stop giving her attention hang out with guys come back late at night, some times bring your side chick home and you will see her brain being reset to normal

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

She is angry at something
Or cheating on you
Don’t apologize twice
Na man you be
You feel bad about it talk to God and no outsider or your gist go fly and e go affect you
I repeat no let the matter cross your door step
You apologized already .. time will heal a whole lot
If she no give you your right next time go collect your blow outside
When she ready she go talk wetin Dey worry am
One love

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

Bros, you no be guy man oh. You for get a side chic now. And other back up chic. Dey dey do your thing with your side chic. Na madam for even dey beg you to do when she knows you don't have her time.

My wife knows she can't deny me sex. Ijaw man like me. Fine boy like me.

Fine... you admit you were wrong etc. Did you try getting to the root of the problem?..... why she is denying you? .... when did she start denying/rationing? .... is it from after childbirth? ... did you sit her down to find out why? ... do you spend almost all of home time doting on your pretty little daughter while having your wife wayyyy out the picture like the maid? .... except for when you want to have sex? ... women thrive on attention ... you deny her enough attention she'll deny you enough sex. Are you giving her attention as you did before the coming of the pretty one? You don't... she will get it from elsewhere. You need to get to the root of the problem .... even if it's getting it from that person who is closest to her. It will not be easy since you brutalized her .... who will want to bell the cat? ... to talk to the beast? Take some time to chill..... the mouth you broke is the mouth needed to talk .... that takes time to heal.... her mind even longer. It will be a while before she can forgive you .... if she is the forgiving type. If she is the hold grudge type... I wasted my time writing this epistle.