₦airaland Forum

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Snok58:
Good day guys.
I apologize for the long read and typos.

I met my girlfriend last year and everything has been moving fine. She was someone I intend to marry regardless of our issues. She is very loving and caring.

On my own part, I just finished my masters and I've not been able to get a good job. I used my savings to get a car and my friend gave me free accommodation in Abuja and I started uber. I'm a struggling guy but I come from a wealthy home, my father passed on recently and I control most things but I just remit them to my mum and I stopped her from giving me anything because I don't get satisfaction spending my parents money.

My girlfriend is young but she dreams of getting married early, I understand but I needed her to be industrious. I started a business for her in October which she tries a lot and she's making baby steps. I also give her stipends every month.

Our sex life is cool and I've tried using condom but she always frowned at it, so I resulted in calculating her free period, it was going well until a day she refused to tell me her cycle after we had sex. I got pissed and confronted her that I'm not ready for her to be pregnant, she said she won't and she's also not ready for it.

I came back from Abuja briefly in December and I was with her, I asked her for the cycle and she shifted the date and I miscalculated, long story short, as at yesterday she is 6weeks pregnant.

She told me the result, I asked her what should we do, she said she'll keep it but I'll have to do traditional marriage. Hmm, sincerely I did not want the child at this time. I told her I can be a father but I am not ready to be a husband, trouble erupted; she told her mum and her sister they called me I stood my ground that I'm not financially capable of setting up a family. She called my elder sister, I also did not bulge but however my sister noticed that she was building her judgment of me on my family wealth. I told my sister, I will only set up a family with only my acquired wealth and as it stands I'm only an uber driver.

I confronted my babe yesterday and it was evident that she wanted and planned for the pregnancy, she was happy. I was livid I told her that since she planned it, she should handle it that I just owe her money for the baby and delivery if she decides to keep it, and that my marriage plan will be put on hold, because I'll have to spend my savings. I was saving to do traditional marriage then travel out if things don't change. A child was the last thing on my list.

My girlfriend has blocked me everywhere and I suspect that her family are of the opinion that it's either I do traditional marriage or she removes it.

Guys my relationship is seriously threatened, I need advice vis a vis bashing

Which advice do you need again?

Is everything not black and white enough for you?

It's stories like yours that make me doubt all romanceland stories. You can't tell me you don't know what to do in this situation...why ask us for advice again

Snok58:
Thank you for time

I did not suspect then but things are adding up now. Most times we have issues and she calls my sister, we have quarreled when my mum came to enugu in September and insisted I introduce her but I didn't because my mum didn't stay long. She was always concerned about my family acceptance than mine.

I feel I should tell them that let me know how much traditional marriage entails and do it, but deep down I feel pressured.

Since you have made up your fmind to find out the cost of traditional marriage, just go ahead and finalize it

You can't be asking about it then you draw back

That will be more than an embarrassment to your family and her family

Women are always on top of their game, she is interested in your family, bring her inn let peace reign

Since it is clear she was out to trap you .... and has blocked you because you didn't cave in to her demands ... then you should think again about her true character... and that of her family. Why would she choose to cut you off? Is it someone else is responsible for the pregnancy?.... and she's trying to rush you into marriage?... to be the father?
Let her be..m don't be rushing to be the father.

Snok58:
Good day guys.
I apologize for the long read and typos.

I met my girlfriend last year and everything has been moving fine. She was someone I intend to marry regardless of our issues. She is very loving and caring.

On my own part, I just finished my masters and I've not been able to get a good job. I used my savings to get a car and my friend gave me free accommodation in Abuja and I started uber. I'm a struggling guy but I come from a wealthy home, my father passed on recently and I control most things but I just remit them to my mum and I stopped her from giving me anything because I don't get satisfaction spending my parents money.

My girlfriend is young but she dreams of getting married early, I understand but I needed her to be industrious. I started a business for her in October which she tries a lot and she's making baby steps. I also give her stipends every month.

Our sex life is cool and I've tried using condom but she always frowned at it, so I resulted in calculating her free period, it was going well until a day she refused to tell me her cycle after we had sex. I got pissed and confronted her that I'm not ready for her to be pregnant, she said she won't and she's also not ready for it.

I came back from Abuja briefly in December and I was with her, I asked her for the cycle and she shifted the date and I miscalculated, long story short, as at yesterday she is 6weeks pregnant.

She told me the result, I asked her what should we do, she said she'll keep it but I'll have to do traditional marriage. Hmm, sincerely I did not want the child at this time. I told her I can be a father but I am not ready to be a husband, trouble erupted; she told her mum and her sister they called me I stood my ground that I'm not financially capable of setting up a family. She called my elder sister, I also did not bulge but however my sister noticed that she was building her judgment of me on my family wealth. I told my sister, I will only set up a family with only my acquired wealth and as it stands I'm only an uber driver.

I confronted my babe yesterday and it was evident that she wanted and planned for the pregnancy, she was happy. I was livid I told her that since she planned it, she should handle it that I just owe her money for the baby and delivery if she decides to keep it, and that my marriage plan will be put on hold, because I'll have to spend my savings. I was saving to do traditional marriage then travel out if things don't change. A child was the last thing on my list.

My girlfriend has blocked me everywhere and I suspect that her family are of the opinion that it's either I do traditional marriage or she removes it.

Guys my relationship is seriously threatened, I need advice vis a vis bashing

I know, the only way you can either shift your ground for her or forgive her, is if she apologies, and you can guide her in apologizing, since she is loving and caring but has, really provoked you and gone contarary to the plans you had in mind about settling down with her of which my guess is, she was aware of it, I hope she understands and takes correction never to try such.

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Snok58:
If not for anything, I know she is faithful to me. I can strongly say she has not cheated on me even emotionally. She sent me her cycle, the ovulating period was exactly the time I traveled back. I'm the father, it's not in doubt.

Swear for no man. Even if so.... why cut you off? If she is doing her parent's will... then take this as a warning sign as to what lays ahead in marriage.

Your father worked so your burden could be lighter, don't be too hard on yourself.

Pierocash:
She did the right thing by blocking you. You are an irresponsible man. You can setup a business for her but can't take care of a family or a baby? Not that you are jobless,you are working. Those Uber guys you see,are most of them not married,how are they taking care of their families?

Most rich kids you see today became rich through their parents' riches as well. How many real rich guys made it on their own without some kind of parental backup. Even at that,you can handle your family well with the one you are doing. Don't waste another person's daughter chasing your own selfish agenda in the name of you want to be rich.

Go and do the needful and marry her if truly you love her,stop acting cunning and sounding too irresponsible

You sound like a defeated male.

A shameful simp too.

So he's irresponsible and should tie himself down with marriage simply because another adult decided to keep a pregnancy? Smh!

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AwesomeDuru:
You sound like a defeated male.

A shameful simp too.

So he's irresponsible and should tie himself down with marriage simply because another adult decided to keep a pregnancy? Smh!

stupid and shameless talk. When another man impregnates your daughter ,you can tolerate such cunning excuse.

He isn't ready but having sex with her,he isn't buoyant to take care of a baby but can set up a business for her? Who is fooling who.

If he doesn't want to marry her,he should come clean then my line of advice will change.

But what he is using as an excuse is lame, senseless and irresponsible

Pierocash:
stupid and shameless talk. When another man impregnates your daughter ,you can tolerate such cunning excuse.

He isn't ready but having sex with her,he isn't buoyant to take care of a baby but can set up a business for her? Who is fooling who.

If he doesn't want to marry her,he should come clean then my line of advice will change.

But what he is using as an excuse is lame, senseless and irresponsible

You're wrong.

There's nothing irresponsible about getting a girl pregnant.

Isn't that the core responsibility of every male species?

When another man impregnates my daughter, the fault's not on the man, it's on my daughter.

She allowed him impregnate her.

Stop being a simp and blame the wh.ore for allowing him get her pregnant and then wanting to tie him down with pregnancy.

That's gross irresponsibility on her part seeing that she wouldn't be the one footing the baby bills.

This young man is totally free to walk.

She won't be the first, neither will she be the last baby mama on Earth.

Quit being a Simp!

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See ehn of a truth, there is nothing like 100% love, there is that thing we see in ourselves that makes us stick with the other person, her own could be your background. No one likes suffer head.

If she isn't a materialistic girl you can go ahead and marry her but set boundaries and be firm.

Snok58:
I took care of him while he was sick and he dashed me money, I invested it because I found it difficult to spend after his death. Though the investment is looking like scam.

However, I go out and make 10k daily on uber, I feel so much joy with that money more than the millions I had lost. The psychological effects is eating me up my father started from scratch, I started hustling when he died because he would never had allowed it.

I want a family on my own sweat, my growth and progress there's nothing I have now that made my girlfriend feel comfortable with pregnancy she's looking at my support system not me but it's a very wrong moral ground

.

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I hate it when girls desperately try to trap a guy with pregnancy, it never ends well.. Even if you end up marrying her, you both might end up unhappy with lots of regrets!

I’ll advise you follow your heart and do what’s right by you.. No matter what, do not abandon your baby!!

That's the boundaries I'm talking about, meanwhile she can watch your beautiful background from afar for now, at least her child will have nice looking cousins.

Snok58:
I just hope she's ready to grind with me because I'll guarantee that if I marry her at this time, all my budget will be according to what my uber business gives me. I will not collect from anyone. Then from there we can both analyze how prepared we are for marriage.

If you ain't ready ..don't force it... She wan become wife because your family dey wealthy ... Since she done block you ... No bother go on with your life.. na she go unblock you .. she go beg you no worry..

You never hear say pride, discipline, self control works hand to hand
With all the pride you're still at this level with someone's help
With all your ego you're a mere driver
With all your pride she tricked you like mumu
With all your holding ground E no hold sperm, you're the one blocked and complaining.


You better humble yourself and plan life well
Don't get trapped into marriage but you need to up your game
You shared a problem but here your have a bigger problem you should be worried about but no you chose a mere woman matter, yet again your ego, pride failed you

Snok58:
I want to marry her. I set up a business for her bearing in mind for her to grow to be able to support a family. I detest a dependent partner.

I have applied for good jobs with my masters and I'm waiting for a better placement. As of today, I'm not financially capable of marriage, tomorrow might change but I'm a perssimist let it change first then I plan with that.

Never be pessimistic in every situation you find yourself bro, the word pessimistic is nothing but a mere word to eat into your brain making you think negative thoughts, why don't you focus your mind on the positive and always be optimistic. If you have access to your father's wealth better use it. Forget all this talk I wanna work by my own sweat, build your papa legacy and increase it not to be suffering up and down.

Snok58:
Guys my relationship is seriously threatened, I need advice vis a vis bashing

Snok58 be careful na Express you dey go
Snok58 be careful na Express you dey go
Snok58 be careful na Express you dey go

Meanwhile, visit the thread below and receive clarity, you can repost your questions for folks to shed more light on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6048178/reality-every-guy-need-know/1164


As regard finance, like someone said above it's not a crime to leverage on one parent wealth to succeed, it becomes a crime when you misuse it. You need to erase that mentality that you must sweat your way out to wealth or reinvent another wheel when there's a ready provision you can leverage on to fastrack your journey to wealth and the only thing require is right Business knowledge to be successful.

Don't misuse the opportunity you have with you rather maximize it. What's wrong if you have a car with Uber and you get pay every month while you venture into other things. Be business oriented and maximize the resources within your reach.

Snok58:
Good day guys.
I apologize for the long read and typos.

I met my girlfriend last year and everything has been moving fine. She was someone I intend to marry regardless of our issues. She is very loving and caring.

On my own part, I just finished my masters and I've not been able to get a good job. I used my savings to get a car and my friend gave me free accommodation in Abuja and I started uber. I'm a struggling guy but I come from a wealthy home, my father passed on recently and I control most things but I just remit them to my mum and I stopped her from giving me anything because I don't get satisfaction spending my parents money.

My girlfriend is young but she dreams of getting married early, I understand but I needed her to be industrious. I started a business for her in October which she tries a lot and she's making baby steps. I also give her stipends every month.

Our sex life is cool and I've tried using condom but she always frowned at it, so I resulted in calculating her free period, it was going well until a day she refused to tell me her cycle after we had sex. I got pissed and confronted her that I'm not ready for her to be pregnant, she said she won't and she's also not ready for it.

I came back from Abuja briefly in December and I was with her, I asked her for the cycle and she shifted the date and I miscalculated, long story short, as at yesterday she is 6weeks pregnant.

She told me the result, I asked her what should we do, she said she'll keep it but I'll have to do traditional marriage. Hmm, sincerely I did not want the child at this time. I told her I can be a father but I am not ready to be a husband, trouble erupted; she told her mum and her sister they called me I stood my ground that I'm not financially capable of setting up a family. She called my elder sister, I also did not bulge but however my sister noticed that she was building her judgment of me on my family wealth. I told my sister, I will only set up a family with only my acquired wealth and as it stands I'm only an uber driver.

I confronted my babe yesterday and it was evident that she wanted and planned for the pregnancy, she was happy. I was livid I told her that since she planned it, she should handle it that I just owe her money for the baby and delivery if she decides to keep it, and that my marriage plan will be put on hold, because I'll have to spend my savings. I was saving to do traditional marriage then travel out if things don't change. A child was the last thing on my list.

My girlfriend has blocked me everywhere and I suspect that her family are of the opinion that it's either I do traditional marriage or she removes it.

Guys my relationship is seriously threatened, I need advice vis a vis bashing

You are quite funny. Can anyone put his hand on fire and expect not to get burnt? Man proposes and God disposes! You are victim of your own carelessness and the consequence of fornication. Your woman was afraid that you may not keep your promise of marrying her at the the day after using her hence, her action. The choice is yours to either become a Davido or go ahead and marry her.

NB
Is your mum aware that that her grandchild is on the way?

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She manipulated you, probably after listening to wrong advise now she's threatening you very annoying, it's in your power to decide what to do.

Well planned pregnancy...I love the way you stood your ground,there should be mutual understanding in relationship

Snok58:
Good day guys.
I apologize for the long read and typos.

I met my girlfriend last year and everything has been moving fine. She was someone I intend to marry regardless of our issues. She is very loving and caring.

On my own part, I just finished my masters and I've not been able to get a good job. I used my savings to get a car and my friend gave me free accommodation in Abuja and I started uber. I'm a struggling guy but I come from a wealthy home, my father passed on recently and I control most things but I just remit them to my mum and I stopped her from giving me anything because I don't get satisfaction spending my parents money.

My girlfriend is young but she dreams of getting married early, I understand but I needed her to be industrious. I started a business for her in October which she tries a lot and she's making baby steps. I also give her stipends every month.

Our sex life is cool and I've tried using condom but she always frowned at it, so I resulted in calculating her free period, it was going well until a day she refused to tell me her cycle after we had sex. I got pissed and confronted her that I'm not ready for her to be pregnant, she said she won't and she's also not ready for it.

I came back from Abuja briefly in December and I was with her, I asked her for the cycle and she shifted the date and I miscalculated, long story short, as at yesterday she is 6weeks pregnant.

She told me the result, I asked her what should we do, she said she'll keep it but I'll have to do traditional marriage. Hmm, sincerely I did not want the child at this time. I told her I can be a father but I am not ready to be a husband, trouble erupted; she told her mum and her sister they called me I stood my ground that I'm not financially capable of setting up a family. She called my elder sister, I also did not bulge but however my sister noticed that she was building her judgment of me on my family wealth. I told my sister, I will only set up a family with only my acquired wealth and as it stands I'm only an uber driver.

I confronted my babe yesterday and it was evident that she wanted and planned for the pregnancy, she was happy. I was livid I told her that since she planned it, she should handle it that I just owe her money for the baby and delivery if she decides to keep it, and that my marriage plan will be put on hold, because I'll have to spend my savings. I was saving to do traditional marriage then travel out if things don't change. A child was the last thing on my list.

My girlfriend has blocked me everywhere and I suspect that her family are of the opinion that it's either I do traditional marriage or she removes it.

Guys my relationship is seriously threatened, I need advice vis a vis bashing

You're from a wealthy home but you're doing Uber after your masters programme. Just say you're from an average family.

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Uche1993:
Please if you are a woman reading this or a doctor, I have been experiencing stinging pains in my tummy and my back hurts, please is it normal. I don’t have friends to talk to I can’t talk to my mum and sister I am ashamed to talk to them, obviously I can’t talk to victor, please I need help is this pain normal, it’s more painful on the lower part of my tummy.

https://www.nairaland.com/889053/pregnancy-pregnant-going-through-high/6380

Concerning your pregnancy complaints, you can ask about anything on that nairaland thread. There is a warm community of women waiting to answer your questions and help you out. Also, if you plan to keep the baby, please start taking Pregnacare and other prenatal multivitamins.

Concerning marriage, neither of you should be pressured because of the baby.

Not him and not you, if what you wrote is true.

People marry for different reasons, people stay in marriages for different reasons but please I'd like for you to ask yourself what you truly want.

A happy home? A man that respects you and you respect too? A partner you are sure has your back no matter what? A good father to your kids?

No one is perfect, the essence of life is in learning and doing better, being a better you today than you were yesterday.

If not, you will just be making a mistake, trying to patch things that can't be patched up later on.

Best wishes

But u kept cumin inside her. Kayamata tins

frozen70:
You are not someone that must he forced to go and do traditional marriage of a lady that got pregnant for you, it's not bye force

She has studied your family very well and wants to be a part of your family by tricks, so she became pregnant to achieve that

Now tell me, where you really ready to marry her, with or without pregnancy or you simply just want to keep her on hold till you get stabilized

Two things are involved here

If you want the woman, be prepared to keep the pregnancy but must not do the traditional marriage because its a way to commit you, especially if you are too sure of marrying her

If you don't want the pregnancy, and she wants it, let her keep it, be prepared to be a father and play the role you can

If she continues to block you, just leave her and her family, it's a bait to make you do their bidding

If they can't really get you, she will unblock you

They should keep their pressure to themselves

God bless you!!!

Seriously! People here are just pathetic with their response!

That woman is deciteful and not to be married without proper studying. Haba!

Just look at people calling him irresponsible for daring to want to make his own money and not depend on his family's before he marries.

We've gone really mad with reason in this country and that's why we are stuck.

For Bleep sake! It's sooooo obvious she planned and played him!

That's being selfish.

I'd like to think there's a million and one way for her to help him get to that point where he'd decide to marry her even if he hasn't achieved all his goals but this is how she chose to do it? Wow. We really are bleeped up in this country if this is how we think.

OP note this: women control access to sex and whether a child is born. But man controls access to MARRIAGE and RELATIONSHIP.

what she did is literally take your right to decide AWAY from you. That's selfish.

And if she can do that then calm in the knowledge that you will be doing that right thing by not even helping to raise that kid. If you choose that route then you absolutely shouldn't feel bad about choosing to go that way even if the world tries to make you feel bad by appealing to your human emotion. Absolutely nothing wrong!

I just wanted to point that out.

Just look at the way people are blaming him for this when they both agreed to not have kids yet. Wow. Men suffering!

If you are of good heart like myself, I would advise that you help raise that baby but DEFINITELY reconsider your plans to marry that lady. Or at least make sure she trly loves you like she claimed.

Ire oo.

[s]

obinna58:
You never hear say pride, discipline, self control works hand to hand
With all the pride you're still at this level with someone's help
With all your ego you're a mere driver
With all your pride she tricked you like mumu
With all your holding ground E no hold sperm, you're the one blocked and complaining.


You better humble yourself and plan life well
Don't get trapped into marriage but you need to up your game
You shared a problem but here your have a bigger problem you should be worried about but no you chose a mere woman matter, yet again your ego, pride failed you

[/s]

This was so helpful, very very helpful. Thank you very much.

Now pls return to making love to your hands.




Ewu!