₦airaland Forum

I thought someone deactivated her nairaland account... Always chasing clout

Iyaebe:
Just accept the responsibility and go pay her dowry, you can do this on a low key and based on your financial capability for now.Just don't be too upset with her,love is dangerous and hence the reason I distance myself from it for now,a woman will do anything to keep a man she truly loves and in this your case it's not even about money.She didn't do well but you can bend your rules and soften the whole situation. I can do this for a nairalander I secretly admire and his Monika is .......... fill in the doted lines.goodluck

what advice do you need this half baked man

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Mrforexlord:
what advice do you need this half baked man

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You obviously have nothing productive to contribute from your maggot filled brain so shhhhhh!!!!!





Switch off your data and take a nap

Uche1993:
Please I was just going tru the comments and I am tagged as a materialistic person. Please I am not, the only time I have asked for so much more was to buy an iPhone so I can be taking good pictures of my perfumes he gave me 80k and I added my own 100k, also the business he said he started for me, we are on a contract example my last purchase was a total of 170k he gave me 150k and I added my own 20k and from this 150k he gave me I have paid back 122k and what I am owing him is 28k I have not finished selling the perfumes, with whatever I sell I give him money until my debt is complete this is how we work, we only had a money once plus the 28k I am owing him about 34k this is because my sister was in need and I used it to help her out, I promised to pay back even with this pregnancy issue I have your access bank account I maybe late in my payment but a promise is a promise and I will definitely pay back. I am more than grateful to you for supporting my business even tho it’s based on borrow but not many people can do this, when I started cryptocurrency you supported me I am grateful.

But I am proud to say that I am very very supportive and not materialistic, I asked mister victor to go and learn a trade about car parts or house, even if he leaves the country he can then be importing and still be making money.

He put me on an allowance of 5k weekly, aside from this money I have never asked him for any other money (please Victor if I am lieing tell the whole world) never asked for food, clothe, internet subscription, hair nothing at all I make use of this money and even buy him things once in awhile I still have savings with PiggyVest please how am I a bad person.

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Your comments clarified ALOT.

at first it looked like a typical case of a lady trying to trap a guy. Prime example of how listening to both sides is IMPORTANT.

If all that you've said in both of your comments is true then Madam, you are one of the good ones and his conscience will make him do right by you. It has to.

If my first comment on this issue seemed ----, apologies too. Your side of the story clarified everything we needed to know. And also, make sure to keep the BABY.

OP: life's not fair. The moment you have things planned for yourself seems to be the moment events that would derail those plans occur the most.

I can Imagine your pain right now. It's a sad faith that this happened but you have to take responsibility. That's what grown-ups do.

And to reiterate bro, if the things she said in her comment is true then this woman is gold.

Don't break her heart.

Uche1993:
Please I was just going tru the comments and I am tagged as a materialistic person. Please I am not, the only time I have asked for so much more was to buy an iPhone so I can be taking good pictures of my perfumes he gave me 80k and I added my own 100k, also the business he said he started for me, we are on a contract example my last purchase was a total of 170k he gave me 150k and I added my own 20k and from this 150k he gave me I have paid back 122k and what I am owing him is 28k I have not finished selling the perfumes, with whatever I sell I give him money until my debt is complete this is how we work, we only had a money once plus the 28k I am owing him about 34k this is because my sister was in need and I used it to help her out, I promised to pay back even with this pregnancy issue I have your access bank account I maybe late in my payment but a promise is a promise and I will definitely pay back. I am more than grateful to you for supporting my business even tho it’s based on borrow but not many people can do this, when I started cryptocurrency you supported me I am grateful.

But I am proud to say that I am very very supportive and not materialistic, I asked mister victor to go and learn a trade about car parts or house, even if he leaves the country he can then be importing and still be making money.

He put me on an allowance of 5k weekly, aside from this money I have never asked him for any other money (please Victor if I am lieing tell the whole world) never asked for food, clothe, internet subscription, hair nothing at all I make use of this money and even buy him things once in awhile I still have savings with PiggyVest please how am I a bad person.

I asked him to introduce me to his mother, on my part it was not a big deal and I needed it for assurance. I am a very beautiful girl and with a good shape and intelligent, I get request from men on a daily basis, but never have I cheated on victor Infact ask him I do tell men that I am married just so they can leave me alone and to avoid cheating, I don’t collect money from them nothing at all. I have been totally faithful to victor it breaks my heart this morning that he told me that the child is not his own, I have his voice recording denying the child, DNA test would be very okay with me to verify this I don’t mind. I introduced him to my mum because in my family my mum is like our best friend to me and my sister’s, we relate like sisters so it’s more like I was excited to show off my boyfriend to my mum and sister no big deal.

He said I lied about my menstural cycle, lol he know I don’t remember things very well that is why I have an app that records my flow and predicts the next flo also my ovulation too, it was just once at the beginning stage I got angry when he asked me about it but since then I have been open like a book to him about everything he has access to my two phones he checks on my flo app whenever so please victor how did I lie. December period was it not one of the worst months of our relationship I even asked for a break up before my mum intervened how then will I ask for a break up and still plot to carry your child, how victor.

Since 12-1am you woke me up I have been crying I can’t go back to sleep, never in my life did I think victor you will do this to me, if I was asked to swear for you I would. I blocked my mum and sister on call and on WhatsApp because I can’t bear to keep hearing my mother cry and my sister.

I assume you are truly the OP's girlfriend. But the OP actually confirmed in his post here that the child was 100% his, and that you have been completely faithful to him. At least to him, the paternity isnt in dispute like you are claiming at the emboldened.

I think his grouse is that you misled him into impregnating you by misstating your cycle dates especially since you knew of his strong position on that issue as well as his ambitions. So he doubts your sincerity on the whole issue.

He has also stated here in a subsequent comment that he will accept total responsibility for the child but isnt sure of marrying you cos he doubts your true intentions. That is where a lot of your work to regain his trust lies Madame.

Snok58 come and reclarify your babe's revelations o.

Good luck.

Lalasticlala, Dominique, this is FP material.

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Lol when she frowns at condoms and you MR counter started counting circles that aren't yours leaving her to manipulate you through that... You never for once thought that things could go this way? Lol
You clearly don't know women
The deed has been done and at this point you need wisdom. Don't make any move without seeking for advice.
If you two ever get back together in future and try to know her moves and if don't like it counter it like in the game of chess

She's manipulating you! I hate manipulative people! Dare her to go ahead with the pregnancy without you, lets see what will happen in 6 month time! I dont think she really loves you!

Pierocash:
She did the right thing by blocking you. You are an irresponsible man. You can setup a business for her but can't take care of a family or a baby? Not that you are jobless,you are working. Those Uber guys you see,are most of them not married,how are they taking care of their families?

What are you saying? She deceived him.

Uche1993:
He said I lied about my menstural cycle, lol he know I don’t remember things very well that is why I have an app that records my flow and predicts the next flo also my ovulation too, it was just once at the beginning stage I got angry when he asked me about it but since then I have been open like a book to him about everything he has access to my two phones he checks on my flo app

open book enh? Buh wen e come to pregnancy u turn close book lol cus it looks much like plan work

So miss all those your long episode your business, your looks and advises to him is not necessary. He doesn't have any other problems with you except of this pregnancy issue.
I believe he told you beforehand that he is not ready for it.

Secondly why won't you remember your cycle? Women are hardly forget certain things.
No excuse here this is pure manipulation ...

bencarson007:
90% of the people who advised you here are evil. Never sleep with a woman you cannot father a child with if the worst comes.

You are wrong by all means! There's nothing good about her. How can you call a deceitful person good?

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[quote author=TheWolfen post=109805595][/quote]You are not a woman so you won’t understand I have an app that tracks my period and ovulation and he has full access to it, he has my phones password and he checks it whenever we are together I never stopped him from checking when he asks me on phone I will go to the app and even still screenshot it and send it to his WhatsApp, so please my dear how did I conceal my cycle from him.

Mister victor promised me marriage this was why I constantly sent everyone off because we had a plan, he said this year he would come and see my parents. How did I decieve him or he was the one that lead me on with lies about marrying me.

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LaReinaa:
I hate it when girls desperately try to trap a guy with pregnancy, it never ends well.. Even if you end up marrying her, you both might end up unhappy with lots of regrets!

I’ll advise you follow your heart and do what’s right by you.. No matter what, do not abandon your baby!!

I hate it with passion too. Anything that has to do with deceit and dishonesty.

Uche1993:
You are not a woman so you won’t understand I have an app that tracks my period and ovulation and he has full access to it, he has my phones password and he checks it whenever we are together I never stopped him from checking when he asks me on phone I will go to the app and even still screenshot it and send it to his WhatsApp, so please my dear how did I conceal my cycle from him.

Mister victor promised me marriage this was why I constantly sent everyone off because we had a plan, he said this year he would come and see my parents. How did I decieve him or he was the one that lead me on with lies about marrying me.

Was getting pregnant before the promised marriage part of the plan?

Did you guy sit to talk about a possible future pregnancy?
Have you ever ask him about his plans?

I won't advice that you abort the baby but go back to him. Let the decision to go ahead with the marriage solely be his to make at his own timing. That is a the only way you can make up for this cus it seams you deceive him and trying to use the pregnancy to force him into unplanned marriage

Uche1993:
I don’t know how this works but a reply to your above message victor okafor uzochukwu if I planned this pregnancy to come at this stage not minding our plan then God in heaven that sees and knows our hearts and true intentions may he deny me of every good thing in life, what ever I put my hands into let it not work out. But if I did not plan this and I am here suffering emotionally and physically and you are so upset because I said no to abortion then in this life this will be your last child, you will never live to carry a child in your life, and your sister that called me this morning favor as a woman that I even took as my junior sister telling me to abort your child, my sincere prayer is that she will meet someone like you that will promise her marriage and get her pregnant then leave her, she will suffer just like I did then she will understand her statement “if she was in my shoes” All my sweat and suffering for you I brought you to abuja but if this is how you will repay me and my family, the land of abuja will reject you, you will toil day and night and never see anything to show for it.


Guy’s he said money is the issue after speaking with my family this morning, I am my family’s responsibility and we have decided to remove him from anything concerning the child and me. He bears no responsibility he is a free man. But let the tears of my mother and my tears speak for me. Hopefully this will be my last reply to him, I don’t know how to but I would have loved to delete this post but I can’t let this be a reminder to him.


Keep your money, and forever leave my life and the child’s life.

Manipulation in progress
Heaven doesn’t grant such wishes
You planned this all along , all the epistle of doing buying and selling hold no water , still your way of achieving the plan. He borrows you the money ? Which you wished he was dashing out instead of borrowing lol. All this faculty of Arts female students trying to raise their shoulder so high.There’s nothing so unique you did for him , all trying to force your way into the family.
You don’t pressure a man to keep a pregnancy which he told you from day one , he is isn’t ready for , you are against abortion? But you ain’t against fornication? Choosing the one that suit your plan.
With the names mentioned so far , I am sure I know this people .
Victor please stand your ground . A lady doesn’t know her cycle ? Fallacy of the highest . If you allow her manipulation get hold of you, I am sorry for you. Why some Imo state girls always like this? They already know because of their list many people run away from there . I have someone like this just that I don’t even her the chance to come close.
Saying she doesn’t mind staying in the family house at Enugu is all a ploy . The young man doesn’t need the pressure from your manipulation, allowing selfish interest to cloud your eyes .

Snok58:
Good day guys.
I apologize for the long read and typos.

I met my girlfriend last year and everything has been moving fine. She was someone I intend to marry regardless of our issues. She is very loving and caring.

On my own part, I just finished my masters and I've not been able to get a good job. I used my savings to get a car and my friend gave me free accommodation in Abuja and I started uber. I'm a struggling guy but I come from a wealthy home, my father passed on recently and I control most things but I just remit them to my mum and I stopped her from giving me anything because I don't get satisfaction spending my parents money.

My girlfriend is young but she dreams of getting married early, I understand but I needed her to be industrious. I started a business for her in October which she tries a lot and she's making baby steps. I also give her stipends every month.

Our sex life is cool and I've tried using condom but she always frowned at it, so I resulted in calculating her free period, it was going well until a day she refused to tell me her cycle after we had sex. I got pissed and confronted her that I'm not ready for her to be pregnant, she said she won't and she's also not ready for it.

I came back from Abuja briefly in December and I was with her, I asked her for the cycle and she shifted the date and I miscalculated, long story short, as at yesterday she is 6weeks pregnant.

She told me the result, I asked her what should we do, she said she'll keep it but I'll have to do traditional marriage. Hmm, sincerely I did not want the child at this time. I told her I can be a father but I am not ready to be a husband, trouble erupted; she told her mum and her sister they called me I stood my ground that I'm not financially capable of setting up a family. She called my elder sister, I also did not bulge but however my sister noticed that she was building her judgment of me on my family wealth. I told my sister, I will only set up a family with only my acquired wealth and as it stands I'm only an uber driver.

I confronted my babe yesterday and it was evident that she wanted and planned for the pregnancy, she was happy. I was livid I told her that since she planned it, she should handle it that I just owe her money for the baby and delivery if she decides to keep it, and that my marriage plan will be put on hold, because I'll have to spend my savings. I was saving to do traditional marriage then travel out if things don't change. A child was the last thing on my list.

My girlfriend has blocked me everywhere and I suspect that her family are of the opinion that it's either I do traditional marriage or she removes it.

Guys my relationship is seriously threatened, I need advice vis a vis bashing

Stand your ground.

Uche1993:
You are not a woman so you won’t understand I have an app that tracks my period and ovulation and he has full access to it, he has my phones password and he checks it whenever we are together I never stopped him from checking when he asks me on phone I will go to the app and even still screenshot it and send it to his WhatsApp, so please my dear how did I conceal my cycle from him.

Mister victor promised me marriage this was why I constantly sent everyone off because we had a plan, he said this year he would come and see my parents. How did I decieve him or he was the one that lead me on with lies about marrying me.

He promised you marriage doesn’t equate to he will marry you. You can say he deceived you if he had done something on your head , then later backtrack. He didn’t lead you on with lies. He has a plan already laid out on how he wants to plan his life . A girl old enough to engage in coitus is old enough to know when her next cycle is due . Unless you ain’t so close to your mum as said . Mothers harm this inside the head of their female children when of age. I won’t be surprised if the Victor is from Anambra state.

Snok58 I am giving you a sound warning not to destroy your own life with your own hands, you'll surely regret your actions if you don't immediately retreat and do the needful, also remember that the beginning of most successful things in life always starts very rough,both of you have claimed to love each other and she even agreed to rock the boat with you with anything you have to offer no matter how little it is.Don't listen to internet boys who don't know anything about life and it's rules,this lady's tears will not dry before God answers her curses on you(I'm very sure of this) but it can still be redeemed now.So do the needful now and let both of you forgive yourselves, that pregnancy you so hate might bring open doors to your life,don't act out of ignorance. Think and think deep

Privatepart00:
Manipulation in progress
Heaven doesn’t grant such wishes
You planned this all along , all the epistle of doing buying and selling hold no water , still your way of achieving the plan. He borrows you the money ? Which you wished he was dashing out instead of borrowing lol. All this faculty of Arts female students trying to raise their shoulder so high.There’s nothing so unique you did for him , all trying to force your way into the family.
You don’t pressure a man to keep a pregnancy which he told you from day one , he is isn’t ready for , you are against abortion? But you ain’t against fornication? Choosing the one that suit your plan.
With the names mentioned so far , I am sure I know this people .
Victor please stand your ground . A lady doesn’t know her cycle ? Fallacy of the highest . If you allow her manipulation get hold of you, I am sorry for you. Why some Imo state girls always like this? They already know because of their list many people run away from there . I have someone like this just that I don’t even her the chance to come close.
Saying she doesn’t mind staying in the family house at Enugu is all a ploy . The young man doesn’t need the pressure from your manipulation, allowing selfish interest to cloud your eyes .

I think I know you lol read my write up if I was manipulating him I will insist on marriage as the case maybe my family has relieved him of any responsibility, I am not mister victor’s responsibility neither is my unborn child his child. He is a very free man, I have warned him not to send any money as per child support if he does I will send it back to his access bank account, I don’t need a penny from him. I am my family’s full responsibility me and my child. I don’t know who mister victor is, if he tries to come near me or this child in the future, it will be the day he enters prison for the first time in his life.

Snok58:
Yes truly she's the one, she doesn't not understand Nairaland and she mentioned my name and that of my friend. It's not advisable here.

I swear I truly love this girl, and I wish I can screenshot the chat immediately after the pregnancy results where she said this was her prayer and she is 100% rocking it.

It reeks lack of plan, Ask her how much is her monthly income, what have she achieved financially, what does she want for herself.

She can come here and say she didn't plan it but not only did she plan it I put it to her that she also prayed and possibly fasted for it however, I assure her that she'll bear the consequences of it.

I have a life plan. Marriage first then my financial capacity determines the number of children. Even if I was married to her and she takes in selfishly, she must be prepared to handle it.

Since we are mentioning names, Victoria, you wanted a very early marriage with or without plan. In all this if I ask for your hand in marriage it will be solved, but you know me alot to be rational without sentiments.

Keep the child with everything you have planned for your self. You'll learn to plan accordingly I guarantee you.

This was totally unplanned for... Can she ever force marriage to me without this child? Even when she pressured me I told her what can she contribute to her wedding then reality calmed her.

I'm so pained

Thanks for the clarification. But the deed has been done already and as a responsible father to be, you need to take full responsibility for the child's welfare. Whether you go ahead to marry your fiance is up to you, if you can overlook her manipulation in favour of other more pressing qualities that attracted her to you.

Realistically, you'll need to tweak your initial plans to accommodate your current situation and make the best out of it, rather than sulking about what went wrong.

nighter:
I hate it with passion too. Anything that has to do with deceit and dishonesty.

A very desperate and manipulative act

On a second thought I hope op is not the former useless scammer and fabricator with the Monika "lovethaa",this is how he fabricates stories, chat with himself to make it looks real and draw attention to himself.I'm beginning to think he's the one,this is his format.

As I was about typing, I saw his Girlfriend's comment; and it changes a lot.

As this matter dun reach divorce court section of NL.

With all the facts (undisputed by both sides) set before this panel, here is my "rulling".

Should OP agree not to further the relationship with @Uche1993-

Op will continue to pay child support for this child as the pertinent is of no question

Op will continue to pay monthly stipend to the mother of his child.

Op should also be guided by the fact that it is a crime to promise marriage and fail to keep up.

Iyaebe:
Snok58 I am giving you a sound warning not to destroy your own life with your own hands, you'll surely regret your actions if you don't immediately retreat and do the needful, also remember that the beginning of most successful things in life always starts very rough,both of you have claimed to love each other and she even agreed to rock the boat with you with anything you have to offer no matter how little it is.Don't listen to internet boys who don't know anything about life and it's rules,this lady's tears will not dry before God answers her curses on you(I'm very sure of this) but it can still be redeemed now.So do the needful now and let both of you forgive yourselves, that pregnancy you so hate might bring open doors to your life,don't act out of ignorance. Think and think deep

Never take advice of such scenario from a lady . The lady been the one above is the worst person to take advice from. She’s only chasing clout here with so many of her responses like someone high on drugs. Deceitful pregnancy to trap the guy so she doesn’t end up loosing him . Manipulation from all shades . Curses start working on him? Is that the easiest route she can take . She’s too desperate to be part of his family. I pity the guy if she cowards into believing the so called curses . What one believe in is what happens to them.

Privatepart00:
Never take advice of such scenario from a lady . The lady been the one above is the worst person to take advice from. She’s only chasing clout here with so many of her responses like someone high on drugs. Deceitful pregnancy to trap the guy so she doesn’t end up loosing him . Manipulation from all shades . Curses start working on him? Is that the easiest route she can take . She’s too desperate to be part of his family. I pity the guy if she cowards into believing the so called curses . What one believe in is what happens to them.

You'll not be there with him to bear the consequences and I'm beginning to doubt this story sef.

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Varidan:
God bless you!!!

Seriously! People here are just pathetic with their response!

That woman is deciteful and not to be married without proper studying. Haba!

Just look at people calling him irresponsible for daring to want to make his own money and not depend on his family's before he marries.

We've gone really mad with reason in this country and that's why we are stuck.

For Bleep sake! It's sooooo obvious she planned and played him!

That's being selfish.

I'd like to think there's a million and one way for her to help him get to that point where he'd decide to marry her even if he hasn't achieved all his goals but this is how she chose to do it? Wow. We really are bleeped up in this country if this is how we think.

OP note this: women control access to sex and whether a child is born. But man controls access to MARRIAGE and RELATIONSHIP.

what she did is literally take your right to decide AWAY from you. That's selfish.

And if she can do that then calm in the knowledge that you will be doing that right thing by not even helping to raise that kid. If you choose that route then you absolutely shouldn't feel bad about choosing to go that way even if the world tries to make you feel bad by appealing to your human emotion. Absolutely nothing wrong!

I just wanted to point that out.

Just look at the way people are blaming him for this when they both agreed to not have kids yet. Wow. Men suffering!

If you are of good heart like myself, I would advise that you help raise that baby but DEFINITELY reconsider your plans to marry that lady. Or at least make sure she trly loves you like she claimed.

Ire oo.

You have said it all
I said it that women are always on top of their game
It's left for Op to keep doing her bidding or learn to take a decision and stand on it

Whatever you are doing with a woman, she is actually ahead of you and you can only know what's happening, when she is done with you

Uche1993 and snok58.

Please take this offline.

You have a responsibility to sit this out with families and decide what to do.

Lots of all these online commenters are just here to catch cruise, laugh at you guys and throw words around.

Don't aggravate the issue with bad words. Two adults can communicate without cursing using swear words or calling on God to purnish the other for what they did or did not do. Tempers are high and i understand the pain both parties may feel but best bet to sit this out and reason with a clear head.

Take this offline and find a way to get elders to settle it.

Trust me you would look back at this thread in future and regret everything you said if you don't stop. People would keep goarding you to spill more, talk more and make it nasty. They would pick sides and try to push narratives.
To them, you both are like two rams(fools) fighting in a circus and they are the audience shouting "finish him". Would you want to be such?