₦airaland Forum

All set and done, all parents are not the same. My is the best and always been the best. I'm one of those struggling to see that I make my Mom proud. That woman suffered from me since day one to now. Even though I'm not with her now she always check up on me time to time, praying and encouraging me. even when I don't have and I have she is always there to support, she will always be the best to happen to me.

jasminer:
I hope some people will be willing to leave their parents house once they clock 16 and not be parasites at 25 claiming parents shouldn't use them as retirement plan...

If you gave those parents the space to build their futures, they most likely won't be broke, but no, you see the free or very affordable government schools and push them to enroll you in one of the best private schools that cost them blood and sweat every term, unlike your mates overseas who attended free education and take loans to pay for their university tuition.

Hypocrisy

You're funny. Children should give their parents space to build their future? How? In this same Nigeria where children are a form of bragging rights for parents? And when they don't have one, they start running from one prophet to another baby factory.

How many kids chose the school they want? It's like you don't know the extent at which some parents go when it comes to using kids as bragging rights.

Nigerian parents dictate everything, including the course their children must study. You can't shift blames here. If your parents want you to be doctor at all cost, who should bear the cost?

The white guy will raise just one or two kids despite several welfare programmes and accessible loans. You, in Nigeria, will do 8 just because you want to have a doctor, lawyer, lecturer, accountant in the family. Who send you? When things don't go as planned, these kids run into Yahoo 'business' and rituals just to meet up with parental and societal expectations.

Hahaha Nigerian parent left the group chat!!??��, ,
They are still coming back in a jiffy...�����

DamnnNiggarr:


A guy in his Early 20s, who lives just a stone-throw from my doormouth here in Awka fought his father because his father compared him with one notorious yahoo boy in the area.

His father was like "look at ragzzy( not the Yahoo boy's real name), he is super rich, he has exotic cars and houses, all you do everyday is stay here and eat my food and keep roaming round the city"

The boy on his own part was like "Yes, I'm as poor as church rat, the poverty I inherited from you as a result of your laziness and roaming around the city when your mates like Peter Obi, Ifeanyi Uba, Arthur Eze, Dangote, Otedola were busy building foundation for their unborn children"

The angered father couldn't hold himself and angrily rushed towards his son which resulted in serious exchange of blows between the father and his son.

The guy is right. What was his father doing when his mates were making money?

HenryDion:
So you'll fuucck, get a girl pregnant and refuse to take responsibility because their mate are hustling in a motor park?

You're a dead beat father, one of the problems we're having in Africa. I feel like slapping sense into you cause you're an idiot and you don't even know it.

It's better you spew your semen in a condom, than to bring an innocent kid to this world to suffer. I can only pity your children. They are very unlucky!

Ur papa for drop u inside condom.
So ur parent took responsibility for a useless son who would would prefer they go to hell when they get old.
I still say to you if you feel your child should not make sacrifices for you who made sacrifices for them when they were young, then u no get sense
It's either u never get pikin or ur family didn't make enough sacrifice to instill family virtues in you.

Nonexisting:
[b]Over 60% of boys who go into yahoo do it to please their mothers. [/b]Mothers can play big role in putting a stop to the current menace.

Very true. I know a guy that went in cos of the mother... The mother even prays for him and some times talks to clients for him.

freesoul12:
God bless op for this. My dad fits in dis description.. I was in ss3 wen we fought on d issue of ü must enrol for special center and clear ur Waec.. I was like Dad this is not right now . He didnt even believe in my ability for once. He reluctantly paid for my exam fee. I had to go borrow text books from my friends to read for d exam.. He was waiting for d result to come out and mock me.. Na so î pass. E shock am. Fast forward.. Na so again e wan do for jamb.. I told him its bad.. I go pass make u let me do am. Fast forward i graduated from school.. Job no come in time.. Na so Papa go dey do comparison say his friends son are doing well wen he knew within himself that those guys are yahoo boys. I told him oneday dat sir do u know that those guys are into yahoo.. He said why cant ü do it too. Just walked out of him that day I almost commit suicide due to d pressure. Did some teaching jobs.. Then took some online course in digital biz and trading.. Later money starts coming in.. So he felt Im into yahoo cos he always see me with phone and laptop. So there was a day Sars came to our area to arrest some yahoo guys.. Na so dad rushed in come tell me say make i no go out say make dem no arrest me.. I told him why and for what.. Do you think im into fraud. I went out out immediately with my earpiece and phone even greeted those Sars men while they were taking away those Yahoo boys..my Dad was peeping through d gate thinking they will arrest me. After like 2 months.. I had to pack out of his flat that he gave me. Some parents are just evil and they will surely guide their kids in dat evil path

I'm so proud of you.

Olam09:
Abi na.. may God help us.. this life wey i dey, i no wan bring any kid into this world to suffer. Na wetin dey make me dey work extra hard be that.. my kids shouldn't owe me anything for bringing them into this world. Na me dey owe them many things so I've got to be established before contemplating on any fućking marriage plan. My kids mustn't suffer.

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Its normal with some African parents they use till they leave this earth. Modern day slavery. They tell you count yourself lucky for having you so your duty is to pay your debt. They compare you with anyone they deem fit. If you have they smile while choking you if they don't they insult and even curse you. No one can force me to do what's wrong.

Olam09:
Don't use your kids as your retirement plan.

Resist the urge to do it. I understand that tendency as an African parent to bring up your kids and invest everything you have into them, hoping that when you all get older, they'll reciprocate the effort.

I'm not saying it's completely wrong, I'm not saying it is right either.

I'll explain...

One of my favorite songs from Bella Schmurda is Vision 2020. I love the way he rode the beats on that song.

But here's a snippet of the lyrics from that song...

Mama call me, she said Chinedu is balling

What are you doing son? You are dulling

Four years in LASU is really nothing

Better get that money son, we are starving

You see these four lines, coming from a mother, can make any youth go all out to dip their fingers into anything for money.

Imagine a mother oppressing her child mentally like that? Comparing him with Chinedu. So, because he's not throwing money around, he hasn't started living yet?

Four years in LASU is really nothing... Go and get the money anyhow you can. We are starving.

Omo... E choke. This kind of pressure has pushed a lot of daughters into refurbished prostitution in the name of whocup.

Now... The sons are cutting up their whocup girlfriends like suya and trying out their hands at black magic.

No doubt, home training is very important, and part of that home training is helping your child build that self confidence and self esteem.

That understanding that no matter as e bad reach, they shouldn't compare themselves with the Chinedus around them.

That understanding, that they themselves have what it takes to acquire that wealth and it will only require their patience.

But home training isn't enough. Work hard to ensure that your kids have the leverage you never had.

I understand that not everyone will be stupendously wealthy, but I want my kids to to come from a home that can afford the basic things rich kids have.

I don't think I want my daughters to grow up and start following men up and down to buy them coldstone and iphone.

Or just for them to enjoy AC inside car.

I don't want them to be oppressed seeing their friends chop life on Instagram .

Godforbid!

I don't think I want my sons to be put through so much stress trying to build everything from scratch without support from anywhere.

In everything... You're not the only one that is struggling. We all are struggling in this country. Stay content. You're not the only one that needs money, we all want the good life, don't be stupid.

So what can we all do?

The message remains the same, learn productive and well paying skills.

The next generation of illiterates won't be people who didn't go to school, but people who can't learn, unlearn and relearn.

Get skilled up, I don't care if you're in school or not. Skill up.

If you're still spending time chasing cruise on social media, and jumping from one IG live to the other, trying to make yourself look busy...

well... I wonder what your kids will do.

Don't use your kids as your retirement plan, particularly when they are still young. The kick back effect could be negative.

Try very hard to avoid a situation where your first child would be forced to grow up so fast and delve into the labour market (legal or illegal) just to raise cash to support the family.

Just try very hard.

Stay away from pressure people, or learn to control it.

Stay away from these clubs with hype men wey get uncontrollable mouth. They should do their jobs o, but stay away from them.

My own contribution. ✌️

Copied from Ebube Maduaike on Facebook.

Good advice , many parents are begining to realize this fact, this aint the 70s and 80s anymore, parents should feel sory for their children espceially today with the high debts that our govt is planning to pass onto the next generation , once can say that our parents lived better compared to us.

Forget the flashy cars, led tv, internet, the quality of life 20+ years ago was much better.

I have said it countless times that most parents are just nothing but a curse to their children.

dhabeautyjas:
Did they ask you to bring them to the world?

No. If you see them as investment then you are on a long thing

sidown there

Acidosis:
Your pikin na business?


Shameless man/woman.

yes nw

jasminer:
I hope some people will be willing to leave their parents house once they clock 16 and not be parasites at 25 claiming parents shouldn't use them as retirement plan...

If you gave those parents the space to build their futures, they most likely won't be broke, but no, you see the free or very affordable government schools and push them to enroll you in one of the best private schools that cost them blood and sweat every term, unlike your mates overseas who attended free education and take loans to pay for their university tuition.

Hypocrisy

Did you force your parents to give birth to you?


No, two adults decided to have sex without protection, even when there are many contraceptives out there, they ignored it.


You are the product of their enjoyment and owe nothing to em.

ivolt:
Insulting other people's parent for no reason.
That says alot about the history of your own mother.

Even a fool should know that most people will end up with average wealth regardless of what they do.

Having no child or having only one should be normalised in this part of the world.

Youngzedd:
Having no child or having only one should be normalised in this part of the world.

What do you mean by normalised?

dhabeautyjas:
Did they ask you to bring them to the world?

No. If you see them as investment then you are on a long thing

No mind the old child investor business man

DamnnNiggarr:


A guy in his Early 20s, who lives just a stone-throw from my doormouth here in Awka fought his father because his father compared him with one notorious yahoo boy in the area.

His father was like "look at ragzzy( not the Yahoo boy's real name), he is super rich, he has exotic cars and houses, all you do everyday is stay here and eat my food and keep roaming round the city"

The boy on his own part was like "Yes, I'm as poor as church rat, the poverty I inherited from you as a result of your laziness and roaming around the city when your mates like Peter Obi, Ifeanyi Uba, Arthur Eze, Dangote, Otedola were busy building foundation for their unborn children"

The angered father couldn't hold himself and angrily rushed towards his son which resulted in serious exchange of blows between the father and his son.

So funny! The son told him the bitter truth though

Olam09:
Don't use your kids as your retirement plan.

Resist the urge to do it. I understand that tendency as an African parent to bring up your kids and invest everything you have into them, hoping that when you all get older, they'll reciprocate the effort.

I'm not saying it's completely wrong, I'm not saying it is right either.

I'll explain...

One of my favorite songs from Bella Schmurda is Vision 2020. I love the way he rode the beats on that song.

But here's a snippet of the lyrics from that song...

Mama call me, she said Chinedu is balling

What are you doing son? You are dulling

Four years in LASU is really nothing

Better get that money son, we are starving

You see these four lines, coming from a mother, can make any youth go all out to dip their fingers into anything for money.

Imagine a mother oppressing her child mentally like that? Comparing him with Chinedu. So, because he's not throwing money around, he hasn't started living yet?

Four years in LASU is really nothing... Go and get the money anyhow you can. We are starving.

Omo... E choke. This kind of pressure has pushed a lot of daughters into refurbished prostitution in the name of whocup.

Now... The sons are cutting up their whocup girlfriends like suya and trying out their hands at black magic.

No doubt, home training is very important, and part of that home training is helping your child build that self confidence and self esteem.

That understanding that no matter as e bad reach, they shouldn't compare themselves with the Chinedus around them.

That understanding, that they themselves have what it takes to acquire that wealth and it will only require their patience.

But home training isn't enough. Work hard to ensure that your kids have the leverage you never had.

I understand that not everyone will be stupendously wealthy, but I want my kids to to come from a home that can afford the basic things rich kids have.

I don't think I want my daughters to grow up and start following men up and down to buy them coldstone and iphone.

Or just for them to enjoy AC inside car.

I don't want them to be oppressed seeing their friends chop life on Instagram .

Godforbid!

I don't think I want my sons to be put through so much stress trying to build everything from scratch without support from anywhere.

In everything... You're not the only one that is struggling. We all are struggling in this country. Stay content. You're not the only one that needs money, we all want the good life, don't be stupid.

So what can we all do?

The message remains the same, learn productive and well paying skills.

The next generation of illiterates won't be people who didn't go to school, but people who can't learn, unlearn and relearn.

Get skilled up, I don't care if you're in school or not. Skill up.

If you're still spending time chasing cruise on social media, and jumping from one IG live to the other, trying to make yourself look busy...

well... I wonder what your kids will do.

Don't use your kids as your retirement plan, particularly when they are still young. The kick back effect could be negative.

Try very hard to avoid a situation where your first child would be forced to grow up so fast and delve into the labour market (legal or illegal) just to raise cash to support the family.

Just try very hard.

Stay away from pressure people, or learn to control it.

Stay away from these clubs with hype men wey get uncontrollable mouth. They should do their jobs o, but stay away from them.

My own contribution. ✌️

Copied from Ebube Maduaike on Facebook.

Good that you brought this up

You should emphasize that parents should instead focus on building investments

A lot of people have children for the sole purpose of retirement. Very sad

These people cannot even take care of themselves or their own children yet they're demanding heaven on earth from their children

DrFunmisticGlow:
I think parents should have less children so that they can invest in their kids and also plan for retirement

God bless you my able Doctor. More wisdom

emmaodet:
That is why I don’t believe in this “Mother’s care and Love” that people always scream about.
Mothers don’t love their kids more than their fathers rather doing that hoping the child will becoming something in future so that they will be in prime position to enjoy most.
Before my mum died, she had been pressuring me to travel and relocate to US. Why? Because my childhood friend who moved there 2010 is buying lands in choice areas in my place and has built 2 4-bedroom flats, took us mum and 2 sisters to US for visitation and furnished his mum apartment and gave her a good ride.
Am I doing bad here? No but she kept saying Jide has surpassed me, he has achieved more than me. If he comes to nigeria, he won’t call me because he is doing better than me.
Should we really be worried about all this? Is life a competition?
Am I not feeding my family well and not begging anybody? Is life a race?
Ohhh, so that she can boast that her kid too is in abroad and sending dollars and she is monitoring is building project for him.
Unnecessary pressure.
Fathers are not like that. They understand the struggles of life so don’t push you. It is always mothers

I remember I once commented on this forum that mothers' love is not unconditional as it is widely acclaimed, and your comment just made it clearer. That I carried you for none months alone is conditional to love you and you working hard to make her enjoy amd reap is enough condition abi na another person pikin mama wan go collect money from?

Acidosis:
You're funny. Children should give their parents space to build their future? How? In this same Nigeria where children are a form of bragging rights for parents? And when they don't have one, they start running from one prophet to another baby factory.

How many kids chose the school they want? It's like you don't know the extent at which some parents go when it comes to using kids as bragging rights.

Nigerian parents dictate everything, including the course their children must study. You can't shift blames here. If your parents want you to be doctor at all cost, who should bear the cost?

The white guy will raise just one or two kids despite several welfare programmes and accessible loans. You, in Nigeria, will do 8 just because you want to have a doctor, lawyer, lecturer, accountant in the family. Who send you? When things don't go as planned, these kids run into Yahoo 'business' and rituals just to meet up with parental and societal expectations.

That person lacks basic understanding of what you explained in totality, one reason why I have decided not to birth a child is because I can't come and be doing God will provide and starving innocent souls who never chose to come to the world. I know what I passed through and the expectations of parents on me and I at times wonder where is my fault in all this.

pickatyouu:
Ur papa for drop u inside condom.
So ur parent took responsibility for a useless son who would would prefer they go to hell when they get old.
I still say to you if you feel your child should not make sacrifices for you who made sacrifices for them when they were young, then u no get sense
It's either u never get pikin or ur family didn't make enough sacrifice to instill family virtues in you.

Please sir just rest
Because I don dey vex for this your cappings
You brought a child into the world that did not asked to be born. It is your duty to make sure that child turns out a good citizen of the society by providing food, shelter, clothing and quality education for it. All these things you are providing are not sacrifices ogade because it is your act of mating that brought that child into this evil world to suffer. You owe that child for knowingly bringing him into this fvcked up world. But the child does not owe you jack when he comes of age. Who that child only owes are the unfortunate ones he too will bring into this world too if he decides to mate like you did and have children.

It is like saying God that created man sacrificed to provide us air, water, sun and plants that will sustain man when he intentionally decided to create man (man never begged to be created) He is not sacrificing anything.

It is like a robot manufacturer creating a robot and making sure that robot performs at optimal level by maintaining it. So the robot manufacturer will one day look at the robot and say you see all these maintenance I'm carrying out on you. It is a sacrifice for you. What do you think will be the answer of the robot if it has a high level intelligence. The normal response of the robot would be "sir, why did you create me when you know that this "sacrifice" will be a big deal to you, you shouldn't have created me if you don't want to perform "sacrifices".

So If you know that catering for kids you knowingly manufactured by sexual intercourse is a big deal and a sacrifice why not sacrifice your sexual urge and be a celibate or reverend father so you can enjoy the supposed sacrifices at old age. Sacrifice ko Eboh ni

Advertisershubs:
We need more sons like this in Nigeria.

Many Mothers and Fathers in Nigeria are like this, Unfortunately.

Yes, my bro. I was perplexed when my Father, a Vet Doctor who detests Fraud in its entirety compared me with my younger brother whom I presumed was working and earning legitimately. To my surprise, I got to know that he indulges in cybercrime through his friends, my parents and my younger sisters who have been beneficiaries of wired fraud.
Upon returning home last December, my Father stated categorically that he thanks God that he has a son who can fund his flamboyant lifestyle. He further stated that if I was his only son, he would have been a street beggar or punter. Till this very moment, he eulogises my brother every time he gives him a call.

N.B Never trust any anti-corruption advocate. Morwovee, Nigerians, irrespective of their religious or ethnic affiliations are arguably the most hypocritical Nationals on earth.

chinchum:
Yes, it is Nigeria, the more reason parents must adjust the wrong mentality. If you raise children you are responsible for them till they become adults at least 18 years. In a country like Nigeria where most 18 years old are yet to gain admission to tertiary institutions, it is fair parents train till they are graduates and gainfully employed. Shikenah. Well trained and successful children will take care of their parents, but there must be no entitlement or "planned dependency" by parents.

But There Must Be No Entitlement Or "Planned Dependency" By Parents.[/Quote]
You nailed it here bro/sis.
❤

cayorday89:
I remember I once commented on this forum that mothers' love is not unconditional as it is widely acclaimed, and your comment just made it clearer. That I carried you for none months alone is conditional to love you and you working hard to make her enjoy amd reap is enough condition abi na another person pikin mama wan go collect money from?

Lol
Abi now.

EagleEyes794:
The funds my mom used in raising me up. She could have used it to built a decent house and sustained a good life for herself but she didn't do that.

She ain't forcing neither is she pushing. But I owe her everything.

The bolded is what a lot of posters on this thread are not considering.

Not all parent are rich or will be rich, same way there will always be the poor among us, some parents toil hard and spend all they have to train their children without having any investment, it's not their fault it's because there's poverty in the land.

We can't compare the system here with abroad, in Naija a typical 18year old is still being fed by parents maybe abroad he can get a small job and move out.

Parents literally train children till 25-30 over here and if you are not financially buoyant enough to have a retirement plan, you may have nothing left to fall back to, when you are old and weary.

Some parents even make investments for their grandchildren as soon as they are born, some leave inheritan e for their grandchildren it's because they can afford it, there are parents that send upkeep money for their grandchildren, buy clothes for them do this and that and there are some that won't even be able to afford anything because all their strong years were used to serve their children.

Everything is not black or white.

pickatyouu:
First off, I no be madam. Like I said, there is still no need being responsible towards them, na just fvck u be wan fvck and they happened. Na still their mate dey hustle for motor park.

All this nonsense u spew tells all ur semen still dey enter condom, or ur parents treated u as trash. One must dey

And what is the big deal if senen enter condom. Its called family planning which is seriously lacking in Nigeria.

NewSoul:
Please sir just rest
Because I don dey vex for this your cappings
You brought a child into the world that did not asked to be born. It is your duty to make sure that child turns out a good citizen of the society by providing food, shelter, clothing and quality education for it. All these things you are providing are not sacrifices ogade because it is your act of mating that brought that child into this evil world to suffer. You owe that child for knowingly bringing him into this fvcked up world. But the child does not owe you jack when he comes of age. Who that child only owes are the unfortunate ones he too will bring into this world too if he decides to mate like you did and have children.

It is like saying God that created man sacrificed to provide us air, water, sun and plants that will sustain man when he intentionally decided to create man (man never begged to be created) He is not sacrificing anything.

It is like a robot manufacturer creating a robot and making sure that robot performs at optimal level by maintaining it. So the robot manufacturer will one day look at the robot and say you see all these maintenance I'm carrying out on you. It is a sacrifice for you. What do you think will be the answer of the robot if it has a high level intelligence. The normal response of the robot would be "sir, why did you create me when you know that this "sacrifice" will be a big deal to you, you shouldn't have created me if you don't want to perform "sacrifices".

So If you know that catering for kids you knowingly manufactured by sexual intercourse is a big deal and a sacrifice why not sacrifice your sexual urge and be a celibate or reverend father so you can enjoy the supposed sacrifices at old age. Sacrifice ko Eboh ni

This epistle you type validates only your selfishness and being an ungrateful child.
If your logic is right. Parents shouldn't strive for their children to be successful or better than them, after all na because of sex Dem enter.
If ur brain sef dey work well, being a reverend father makes the church ur parent. Don't they take care of each other. Oga u b ungrateful pikin, no cap.

You just nailed it bro.

NoToPile:
The bolded is what a lot of posters on this thread are not considering.

Not all parent are rich or will be rich, same way there will always be the poor among us, some parents toil hard and spend all they have to train their children without having any investment, it's not their fault it's because there's poverty in the land.

We can't compare the system here with abroad, in Naija a typical 18year old is still being fed by parents maybe abroad he can get a small job and move out.

Parents literally train children till 25-30 over here and if you are not financially buoyant enough to have a retirement plan, you may have nothing left to fall back to, when you are old and weary.

Some parents even make investments for their grandchildren as soon as they are born, some leave inheritan e for their grandchildren it's because they can afford it, there are parents that send upkeep money for their grandchildren, buy clothes for them do this and that and there are some that won't even be able to afford anything because all their strong years were used to serve their children.

Everything is not black or white.

nice

Youngzedd:
Did you force your parents to give birth to you?

No, two adults decided to have sex without protection, even when there are many contraceptives out there, they ignored it.

You are the product of their enjoyment and owe nothing to em.

If they give you up for adoption or dump you in a motherless babies home, nobody can arrest them