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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? (2150 Views)
Why Do People Get Married Especially Men Knowing Fully Well They Can't Cater For / Man Gives Wife Upkeep Money In Jail After She Plotted With Boyfriend To Kill Him / Will You Be Angry With Your Wife If You Discover She's Saving From Upkeep Money? (2) (3) (4)
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by NoToPile: 9:36pm On Feb 02, 2022 |
GboyegaD: Loool ooo. Shey he doesn't enter transport to work or buy clothes since he gives 40k to wife as upkeep and uses 10k to pay other house bills. As for the topic, the point is the 40k is not what serves as upkeep for the month it may even be as high as 100-120k. Ask her very well maybe she's not telling you what she contributes. It's something a simple discussion or her keeping record of all money she personally spends as upkeep for the home (apart from the 40k) will solve. After this you will know the real amount used to run the home, then you can now state your grievances. 3 Likes |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Cloven22: 9:43pm On Feb 02, 2022 |
Why on earth did you have 3 kids with a 50k salary ���? |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Mariangeles(f): 10:02pm On Feb 02, 2022 |
Vyolet: You made the original post add up. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by cococandy(f): 2:32am On Feb 03, 2022 |
Omg yes. Somethings are just astonishing to me. Like people really talk about and fight over stuff like this? But like you said, I guess cunny man die cunny man bury am. When they feel it’s oppression for their women to have a say in the home. No wonder they go through it. pocohantas: 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by cococandy(f): 2:35am On Feb 03, 2022 |
You really think she’s not contributing? Maybe we need to hear her own side ibechris: Mercychen: 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Nobody: 6:34am On Feb 03, 2022 |
cococandy: You think the man would waste his time and come out to say this if she's really contributing? The reason I even reacted angrily to this story is because I've seen a couple of women behaving like the ops wife.. so it's not just because of this I'm reacting. I Know of a woman whom the husband caters for virtuely all the expenses in the home but common soap to bathe and do laundry, she'll send the children to go meet their dad and she has a biz. All she does with her money is buy bleaching cream of different strengths while she keeps taxing the man for everything until the man revolted and started refusing to do some things. He told her, so your own money is to buy cream while mine is for upkeep and family expenses. They had a huge quarrel that I could hear everything because their BQ was directly behind my window. This particular day, the children were sick and she just kept disturbing the man to bring money for medicine. He told her already he doesn't have for now. That same evening a lady brought bleaching cream for sell, this woman quickly rushed to buy. As she was still buying, the husband walked in on her. That was when he voiced out and they had that quarrel. That was not even the first or second time. So, there are women like that. 1 Like |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by BluntCrazeMan: 8:52am On Feb 03, 2022 |
Mercychen:Na Waa Ooo.. Dear Lord God... Please save your dear children from devils that reincarnated in form of human beings ooo. Save Your male Children from female devils. Save Your female Children from male devils. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by pocohantas(f): 9:37am On Feb 03, 2022 |
cococandy: Too many dysfunctional adults out here. I found it really weird that people argue over such things with all seriousness. 3 Likes |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Raalsalghul: 9:55am On Feb 03, 2022 |
BluntCrazeMan: God? What does God have to do with this? Una be clown I swear. 1 Like |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by BluntCrazeMan: 10:42am On Feb 03, 2022 |
Raalsalghul:In Nigeria, we pray too much. And God hears the prayers (sometimes). So, the prayer above is not a bad prayer. .. It's like: Let God always pair bad people to their fellow bad people, and pair good people to their fellow good people. .. It's a good prayer naa |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by cococandy(f): 3:06pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
@bold, are you new here? Mercychen: 1 Like |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Nobody: 3:16pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
cococandy: It's not a matter of being new or old here. Nairaland apart, these things happen and some of these stories are true. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by HannyAD: 3:17pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Vyolet: God bless you. 40k for 6 people in this present day Nigeria. I bet He doesn’t know how much the wife supports him financially. You think she earns that much without spending a dime for home runs and she never buy land or build house. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by cococandy(f): 3:20pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Mercychen: Well in this case, it’s more plausible that OP’s 40 thousand naira is not enough to take care of the whole family given the economic situation on ground. So yes it’s very more than likely that his wife makes up for the deficit from her profits and he’s still here complaining probably because he has no idea. That’s the more reasonable conclusion |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Nobody: 3:24pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
cococandy: I wonder why you're holding brief for the said woman even when you haven't heard her side of the story. Anyways, whatever! 2 Likes |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by cococandy(f): 3:30pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Mercychen:wonder why you are quick to jump on the condemnation bandwagon when you haven’t heard her side either 2 Likes |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Munzy14(m): 3:59pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
BluntNigerian:It is a case of speak up or forever hold it down to 6ft below.. Go and tell him to work on the communication gap between him and his wife...The gap is extremely wide that is why he doesnt know what his wife earns and probably doesn't know how much she contributes to the upkeep as well.. He should get her in her happy mood and then have a heart to heart talk with her...Discuss and plan well on finance and future plans...Goals and ambitions..Not just enter room bathe, chop, wake woman up by night and have sex couple... They need to discuss finance since both earns...And in finance, how you spend it is the koko, not how much you earn. With what I read here, the man no get retirement plans...And the earlier he bridges that communication gap, the better...If not the wife will deviate..Thats if she hasn't Soon na roit act she will begin to read out..And if he objects, she will frustrate him... Under the usual statement " Di gbakwa oku"(husband my foot) He should go and effect communication with his wife jaree...No be to they shift her draws and impregnate her...Couples must be 1 and on the same page..Two will work fine if they agree... 3 Likes
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Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by BluntCrazeMan: 4:00pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Mercychen:.. cococandy: .. Please don't stop. I am enjoying the two perspectives to the issue from the both of you. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by cococandy(f): 4:16pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Thank you Munzy14: 2 Likes |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Mariangeles(f): 4:22pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Munzy14: I’ve realized that not all men know how to be husbands. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by BluntCrazeMan: 4:29pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Mariangeles:To be honest, we start learning how to be married people after we have already married. We start learning how to be parents after we have already had a child. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Mariangeles(f): 4:46pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
BluntCrazeMan: It shouldn’t have to be so. What happened to learning from men who are successful husbands and fathers, and women who are successful wives and mothers? I wonder if they still have godparents in marriages these days. I’ve heard my father on several occasions talk about his and my mother’s marriage godparents. 1 Like |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Munzy14(m): 9:04pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Mariangeles:Business idea, open school for how to be a husband and wife 101.. some people will subscribe o It is not easy sha...Some couples live like they are cohabiting..I am sure sex for them might be a case of putting off the light.. There is no problem in relationship, that effective communication cannot solve... I wonder what the clergy men teach intending couples in marriage course prior to the wedding proper..Issues like this should be dissected in away even a layman will understand perfectly. 1 Like |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Munzy14(m): 9:30pm On Feb 03, 2022 |
Mariangeles:The bolded is the surest way to learn these things... Funny enough I was with my Dad and some of his church committee people yesterday, they were discussing how they were there for their wives in the early stage..I just the run my stuffs with ears open.. The older man amongst them, was gisting them how he specifically cooks the mmiri ogwu nwaanyi muru nwa ohuru for his wife even when his mom and MIL are there..And he said he did it for all their kids.... My Dad said his own wu to assist momsy wash some of her clothing during pregnancy and after delivery till she becomes strong after omugwo. Forget, Our generation need to learn a lot from our parents who enjoyed and worked well to sustain there marital homes. 2 Likes |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Kobojunkie: 1:00am On Feb 04, 2022 |
BluntNigerian:You mean to say most married Nigerian men are this foolish in marriage? |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Kobojunkie: 1:03am On Feb 04, 2022 |
BluntCrazeMan:And that happens to be the reason why many a Nigerian man fails at marriage... they don't prepare themselves for what lies ahead. Instead, they wait for it to happen to them and then start running around crying fowl. 1 Like |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by BluntCrazeMan: 9:24am On Feb 04, 2022 |
Mariangeles:You know the real problem these days?? Many people came from families that they wouldn't want to imitate inside their own families - talking about many young adults that came from dysfunctional homes.. And the good families have parents who are not even eager to share the secrets of being a good spouse to their own children while they were still unmarried, until the kids enter their own marriages and start seeing things, then the become solution-providers for their kids. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by BluntCrazeMan: 9:28am On Feb 04, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:... and be running kiti-kiti ... and be running kata-kata |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Mariangeles(f): 2:06pm On Feb 04, 2022 |
Munzy14: You will enroll okwaya? A ga’m e nye gi discount as onye mmadu. It is not easy sha...Some couples live like they are cohabiting..I am sure sex for them might be a case of putting off the light.. Style ndi mpa na mma…mgbe uwa wu uwa. Ugbu a, unu e mebishiala uwa, mejisa ya oyi. Umu ngwugwu oge! There is no problem in relationship, that effective communication cannot solve... Effective communication can only happen when there’s no pride. E kwu otu k’e kwu abuo? Couples should be able to resolve simple matters by themselves. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Munzy14(m): 4:51pm On Feb 04, 2022 |
Mariangeles:Lol..a ga m anoro na akuku na anakoro gi ego ndi registeranu. no be small style o...A gbanyuo oku, aruwa ala..We are in the modern age biko...To chop no suppose get schedule..It can happen anywhere in the house..O ya wu adventure.. True. |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by Kobojunkie: 11:06pm On Feb 04, 2022 |
BluntCrazeMan:What secret? How can a human grow up in a "good" family and not realize the qualities that makes it a "good" home? Sounds to me like what you consider a "good" family from outward appearances may not be good after all. 1 Like |
Re: Which Expenses Should The “Upkeep” Money/Allowance Cater For? by BluntCrazeMan: 5:18am On Feb 05, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:This is exactly what is happening in Nigeria. Appearing good, but not really good. |
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