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When A Wife Returns After Separation - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by shortIGBOman: 7:14am On Feb 06, 2022
Atk1nson:


I disagree bro. We dont have both sides though, but from what I have read so far, whatever the issue was, is something both parties coukd have worked out but only 1 was looking for a solution.

The lady used the nuclear option -abandoned the man for 2 month and took their only child. She can repeat it again tomorrow. I personally wont take her back in a hurry....may never take her back seff because clearly I cant depend on her

You don't know how marriage works. Marriage is not Boyfriend and Girlfriend. But an avenue where you will tolerate your partners excessive. Remember, no one is perfect.

Separation is usually a period for sober reflection. During this period, both couples think through their actions and decide on better ways to handle such situations in future. Also remember, querell that are properly managed makes Couple bond more. There is no perfect marriage out there without querrels and misunderstanding. But how we manage it is what determine a good union.

Her return home shows that, She was wrong initially. Some people don't know how to apologise verbally, but their body movement will show they are remorsed. I urge the op to accept her. But have a one on one discussion with her, to avoid future reoccurrence.

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Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by WhatCanIsay(m): 8:20am On Feb 06, 2022
Kobojunkie:
Please tell me you are kidding abeg! undecided

Actually her suggestion makes sense in the general sense.

There's a reason why most of us have parents that are respected and respectable. If the woman went to her parents house, the parents are accountable for her location and certain actions.

4 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by QuinModah(f): 8:29am On Feb 06, 2022
Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back? Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated. Thanks all.
She left on her own volition and now she want to come back. Love all trust none is a military term for be prepared for anything.

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Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Nicepoker(m): 9:02am On Feb 06, 2022
Send her back no matter the circumstance

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Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Appliedmaths(m): 9:10am On Feb 06, 2022
I had a case where the young wife left after all pleading, family got involved but she still left anyways. Young husband was left devastated, heaped all the blame on himself.

Fast forward, they got back together only to discover she went to her ex who knew she was married and he sucked all the juice and travelled back to the US.

Young husband got to know and sent her packing finally forever this time around. She called to say she's pregnant but nobody cares.

Crazy things are happening.

Just do your underground search before fully accepting her back.

15 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Mariangeles(f): 9:14am On Feb 06, 2022
Appliedmaths:
I had a case where the young wife left after all pleading, family got involved but she still left anyways. Young husband was left devastated, heaped all the blame on himself.

Fast forward, they got back together only to discover she went to her ex who knew she was married and he sucked all the juice and travelled back to the US.

Young husband got to know and sent her packing finally forever this time around. She called to say she's pregnant but nobody cares.

Crazy things are happening.

Just do your underground search before fully accepting her back.

Now, this is just sad. sad

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by ikennamadu1(m): 9:38am On Feb 06, 2022
SAPA fit done hold her...
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Remijuice: 10:57am On Feb 06, 2022
You need to answer these three questions before you take her back;

A] Why she left

B] Where she left to

C] What she is coming back with, Pregnancy, HIV or Trouble?

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Tokskob2008: 10:58am On Feb 06, 2022
She should say why she left and where she has been for the past months and why she is coming back....

If she can't give satisfactory answers to all these then she should just stay permanently where she is. Life is too short to start stressing over irresponsible partners.

2 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by frozen70(f): 12:00pm On Feb 06, 2022
Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back? Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated. Thanks all.

Are the woman's families aware that they were separated through out that period

What exactly is her reason for separation

To me the best option is for the man to ask her to go and bring her parents and come with her

No one knows her mission

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Fashionista01(f): 1:00pm On Feb 06, 2022
Treating your partner as if he or is a stranger is a bad attitude that can lead to depression. You are acting as if u are ignorant of the whole scenario that lead to her parking out and coming back.

It seems u don't care anymore. Do well to remember the initial stage that brought both if you together.

2 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Babsojimjim: 1:01pm On Feb 06, 2022
I have gone through all the inputs and comments,I have decipher the next good step from the comments and I want to say I really appreciate your efforts. Thank you.

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Munzy14(m): 1:30pm On Feb 06, 2022
Mariangeles:


Well, it also depends on why she left and how long they’ve been married. Right?
I mean, if they are a young couple, then that could be expected of an immature wife.

If she left to her parents house, any responsible parents would either send her back, or send for her husband to hear from both side what happened.
And in this case, neither happened, so hmmm.
Like you said, it depends on what happened, but still who is for you will never leave you...

If she return to her papa house in the morning, before noon, di man don land there.. cheesy

We die here kind of marriage.

Nwaanyi kwesiri ya luo di, ya di tu obere far...o wuhu small thing ya gbara lawa grin

2 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by ObiaboAdoka(m): 2:59pm On Feb 06, 2022
In my place for her to b accepted back by the husband she must swear "ALEKWU" to know if she didn't commit adultery.

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Sammy101111(m): 3:09pm On Feb 06, 2022
When i a woman leaves a man she as better offer when she comes back she as been hurt somewhere she wasn't her home back .
As a smart guy please don't accept her that is the truth she left for 90days if things get worse she will leave again and never come back .
Before she hurt you hard again prevent that now
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Richy4(m): 3:59pm On Feb 06, 2022
ObiaboAdoka:
In my place for her to b accepted back by the husband she must swear "ALEKWU" to know if she didn't commit adultery.

Is she the only one that must swear?... Is the Husband permitted to swear the Alekwu too that while both of them were cooling off, He did not commit Adultery as well? smiley

Not trying to be the devil's advocate here but a believer of what is good for the Goose is also good for the Gander embarassed

6 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Nobody: 5:26pm On Feb 06, 2022
Richy4:


Is she the only one that must swear?... Is the Husband permitted to swear the Alekwu too that while both of them were cooling off, He did not commit Adultery as well? smiley

Not trying to be the devil's advocate here but a believer of what is good for the Goose is also good for the Gander embarassed
In trying to sound correct, was it the husband that walked out of the marriage?

6 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Richy4(m): 5:44pm On Feb 06, 2022
princeeze1:

In trying to sound correct, was it the husband that walked out of the marriage?

No it was not the husband that stepped out of the marriage....And that was not a license to cheat or get another woman execpt if it was discussed by the couple involved... remember, they were not divorced yet so they were legally married... their marriage contract is still legal and binding... And I am not trying to sound correct buddy.. I am correct wink..

4 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Mariangeles(f): 5:51pm On Feb 06, 2022
ObiaboAdoka:
In my place for her to b accepted back by the husband she must swear "ALEKWU" to know if she didn't commit adultery.

What is alekwu and what happens if she’s guilty?
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Lostchild(m): 6:07pm On Feb 06, 2022
Babsojimjim

Accept her and don't talk about it. Just pretend as if nothing had happened.

She learnt some lesson she will not reveal to you.
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Babsojimjim: 6:13pm On Feb 06, 2022
Thanks all for your concern, your time alone in contributing shows your great concern, I appreciate, initially it was not easy, but now am stronger.

3 Likes

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by Herbephe1(m): 11:45pm On Feb 06, 2022
Babsojimjim:
Thanks all for your concern, your time alone in contributing shows your great concern, I appreciate, initially it was not easy, but now am stronger.


you've not answered any of the questions asked, you just decided to follow some if the comments
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by baby124: 7:20am On Feb 07, 2022
Take her to do pregnancy test and full STD test before accepting her back. I am not sure what caused the separation but if she left a stable home just like that, the next time she leaves you may never see her again.

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by ObiaboAdoka(m): 8:30pm On Feb 07, 2022
Mariangeles:


What is alekwu and what happens if she’s guilty?
If she is quilty, den she will fall ill dat no drugs will cure her until she confess den she will present a ram nd a jar of palm wine to appease the gods of the land or if she refused to confess den she will surely die.
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by ObiaboAdoka(m): 8:37pm On Feb 07, 2022
Richy4:


Is she the only one that must swear?... Is the Husband permitted to swear the Alekwu too that while both of them were cooling off, He did not commit Adultery as well? smiley

Not trying to be the devil's advocate here but a believer of what is good for the Goose is also good for the Gander embarassed
Bro, u know african culture dat allow men to b polygamous in nature. D tin der dat if she cheat on him without him knowing d children will start dieing mysteriously. But wen d husband knows nd continue Eating her food den d spirit of his forefathers will beat him in the dream nd u know wat dat means "DEAD".

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by AfroKnight: 6:45pm On Feb 08, 2022
Looks like the cost of raising a child on her own was too much for her to handle so she came back to her senses.

Only the man can decide if what she did was unforgivable or not. But she must first of all give reasons why she disappeared before any reconciliation can take place.
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by eldoradoxx: 6:47pm On Feb 08, 2022
Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.
She can't just return like that without coming with her own kinsmen to explain to your Umunna (kinsmen) her whereabouts when she left and how many men she had affairs with during the period (if any). Marriage is not a union you walk in and out from without consequences. If u are from a society that observes culture, she would have to undergo some purification rituals if u must cohabit again together, otherwise she is not permitted to step into your house again.

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by iswallker(m): 6:47pm On Feb 08, 2022
Kollyman:
Her return might be for permanent solution

If you know what that means

To finish him

1 Like

Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by tit(f): 6:47pm On Feb 08, 2022
Ha ha ha
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by yuping(m): 6:47pm On Feb 08, 2022
undecided return to where? Who will give her key to the house.
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by abuhusna1: 6:47pm On Feb 08, 2022
As long as it's not that she went to another man's house I will take her back for the sake of the children and iron out our differences so such wont happen again
Re: When A Wife Returns After Separation by wifeesnatcher(m): 6:49pm On Feb 08, 2022
A lady packing her things out of my house will never returned to my house for me sha



when she left the house, you've to consider where she pack to, if na her parents house, they must come together with her to beg for her to show you're not a pushover husband, if na friend's place she packed go, abeg go do pregnancy test for her before you go even reason accepting back



lastly there should be conditions and this time restrict the freeness she's enjoying before she take that stupid decisions

3 Likes

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