Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

in Igbo land you don't accept her... She must perform some rites

Forgive and accept her!! She don see say e no easy to feed kids on her own!! She cut cap for u but pride no go let her acknowledge it!! She lean the hard way!! Please forgive her!!!

First the woman didn't just leave for no reason.
She could be the quiet type that doesn't nag but something's wrong somewhere and she couldn't take it anymore.
She must have needed some space to clear her head and someone must have spoken some words to her and encouraged her to try again.
Secondly, she could be pregnant and hopes the arrival of a new baby will fix things. (Which isn't always a fireproof way to mend a shaky relationship.)

If the man vex the woman will go.
If the woman vex d woman will also go.
I'm so certain about this

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

Consider this woman needed sometime to try out a new penís

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

. Go to your village and ask the elders how such things are handled. Nairaland is a forum of different people from diverse cultures.
There are procedures for accepting such woman back but it depends on how your people do it.

Minimi3:

I know you must have heard that is scripture before "For this reason shall a man leave his mother and father and cling to his wife" emphasis on wife and not wives

And for this same reason some lives in his in law house for good 21 years... The above quote technically means you a husband and wife needs to be independent

Kobojunkie:
Please tell me you are kidding abeg!

he is not kidding... he's saying the right word because,for example, whenever I want to take a drastic decisions on my wife,and when I remember how her parents was not always in support of her excesses, I'm always consoled by the way they handled their daughter. they've never ever supported her rhetorics since I go married to her and that has been positive energy in our marriage. you will hear saying: I no dey won go report for my people because dem always dey say na me dey do wrong lol....

Oyiboman69:
he is not kidding... he's saying the right word because,for example, whenever I want to take a drastic decisions on my wife,and when I remember how her parents was not always in support of her excesses, I'm always consoled by the way they handled their daughter. they've never ever supported her rhetorics since I go married to her and that has been positive energy in our marriage. you will hear saying: I no dey won go report for my people because dem always dey say na me dey do wrong lol....

That reads like the way I think of my dogs and their former owners.

Again, I ask, you people at all serious?

What has she been doing for 2 months ? Any secret lover involved? It did not workout as planned? No better candidate. A REAL man will not take her back since nobody sent her packing. *OYINBO PARLOUR*must take over.

She don go fukc now she is coming back

We don't know how to Moonwalk so Forward EVER ,backwards NEVER

Munzy14:

Even in her parents house, a lot must have changed..

For me I won't.. I mean if she has that mind to leave me in solitary, then there is no love initially.

I always say this, nothing can make who is yours leave you...never ever.

Even in your worst, he or she will be a mental and spiritual spport.

I disagree. How are you in your worst? Can you define that?

Some people are so damaged that you're better off distancing yourself from them for your mental wellbeing if not they'll damage you too

And sometimes, you walking away is what will push them to grow

[quote author=mario2k post=110069640][/quote]

You are the one who neither read or understand the Holy scriptures. Just show me a verse where the bible allows such behaviour. Supposing she was living an adulterous life style when she left, didn't the same bible support the man to divorce her. The man is the head and not vice versa Mr. Pastor. The parable of the prodigal son comes to mind, read and understand.

First of all, I don’t understand the people that said there is a rite to be performed before she comes back. Was there a rite performed when she left, are you trying tie her down with juju or something?

Op, the foundation of your relationship is faulty. Your wife must have left because she has not forgiven you, she has not seen true change in you. You are the reason why she left. She does not understand why she had to have two abortions for you while another woman kept a child for you. Neither did you tell her that her child is not the first child from you. Imagine if the tables were reversed, would you still keep her as your wife?

Pastors and counsellors cannot do the hardwork of repairing the trust that you broke. Only you can prove to your wife that you are truly sorry and that you are remorseful. I do not know if there is something else that transpired between the both you that you did not include in your thread. You need to take your wife back. I was expecting to see 2 years of separation, common 2 months can be managed. Plus you know where she was all the while.

Only the two of you can make your marriage work. Interference from friends, family and pastors can be distracting.

You both need to begin to have calm, true, honest and mature communication to move your relationship forward. It will not happen in one day, it will take time to build, to learn to trust, to learn to love again and to learn to forgiven each other.

And please stop telling your wife any more lies.

This need alot of analysis and conditions;
The circumstances that surround the separation and how she seperated.

2. Before the separation, do you feel you have a companion?

3. Has she being a friend in the marriage

4. Were you comfortable with her family

Thank God she has a baby already. If you could answer this objectively you know what to do...

My brother, my wife moved out 3 different times until the last 4th one. I still love her but I DONT WANT HER BACK

Number one, I'd that the lessons she went to stay with are wicked. They refused to invite the husband and settle the matter.
Two, the woman is childish. A mans presence protects. It protects from a lot of thrash.
Third, a man is a provider. Most women are liabilities which responsible men bear for the sake of name and children.
Fourth, the man should take her in only after a joint meeting with the elders of both families.
Fifth, discussing with third parties may be the cause of the problem. Third parties can spoil any home. They will tell you they can't take what you are taking but it is all lies.
The man should have faith and not fear.
The couple should desist from discussing their intimate issues with others. No one knows who is who.
Sixth, cool down and focus on your life goals and not any woman or anyone. This is help you to achieve more in life. Women matter can traumatise a man no matter how string.
A man caught his wife red handed and killed the man lover. He was sent to jail. In jail he is regretting his actions saying he does not know how many men she has slept with since he has been in jail.
In summary, fear God and follow his rules for living.

SOFTENGR:

A man married two women in a traditional marriage, he later accepted to become a Christian. Which of the two women would remain his wife? Can the the two women remain his wives? Remember, God hates divorce. Use the bible to answer this, not your personal opinion.

they can remain with him, the only thing is that, he can not be made an elder, deacon or hold any position in church. He will remain an ordinary floor member.

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

Yes o plenty of conditions and explanations and if possible some medical tests join.

Richy4:
OP, I have never separated before... but this is my opinion..

<<<The question should be while both couple were separated,... has the man moved on mentally and physically?... If yes? then he should let her know that it was a bad idea for her to come back...That he doesn't see it working...There are attitude he can't find himself tolerating ....And both will find a way to handle their kids' welfare..

But if he hasn't and wants to try again,

<<<<Then he should invite her before she moved into the house to a neutral place like a quite restaurant or park where they can talk about why they got separated in the first place...Just to iron things out and make promises...
<<<immediately she moves in with the kids, both should be starting on a clean slate... No need for old memories...Just my Opinion...

i support this... Op, you might want to take this advise!

Whatever the circumstance thay caused yhe separation she has gone to test the waters outside her home and has realized that that street is not smiling, hence the decision to retrace her steps! For me its a no no!

Appliedmaths:
I had a case where the young wife left after all pleading, family got involved but she still left anyways. Young husband was left devastated, heaped all the blame on himself.

Fast forward, they got back together only to discover she went to her ex who knew she was married and he sucked all the juice and travelled back to the US.

Young husband got to know and sent her packing finally forever this time around. She called to say she's pregnant but nobody cares.

Crazy things are happening.

Just do your underground search before fully accepting her back.

Whaaat? Women!

Fashionista01:
Treating your partner as if he or is a stranger is a bad attitude that can lead to depression. You are acting as if u are ignorant of the whole scenario that lead to her parking out and coming back.

It seems u don't care anymore. Do well to remember the initial stage that brought both if you together.

Agreed! But why did she have to leave in the first place? Most men would never trust, care or accept back any wife who left on her own. They are too much risk.

He is very right to be cautious.

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

The situation is too vague.

Was there domestic abuse? If so, why wasn't the police called in? Since OP didn't mention anything of the sort I'll go with the idea that the wife one day decided to disappear on her husband for 2 months, essentially kidnapping their child, and then after the 2 months she decided to return of her own volition, without any pressure as OP said.

If that's the case? She can go screw herself, that simple.

If she decided to leave the marriage without any real reason (beyond the petty "I'm unhappy!", good on her - she can stay with whomever has hosted her for 2 months. The only person I'd make an exception for is the kid that OP mentioned, which should 100% remain with the father given his/her mother has clear no issue with abandoning her family for...what? No real reason, at least in the question OP asked.

Keep the kid, send the ex-wife back to whomever has kept her bed warm for those two months.

Mariangeles:
The man should only accept her back if she had been in her parents house, other than that, there should be lots of questions that need answers, to know the next step to take.

Even if she dey sleep her mama room. Questions dey

Babsojimjim:
Thanks all for your concern, your time alone in contributing shows your great concern, I appreciate, initially it was not easy, but now am stronger.

Guy or SIMP what are the reasons she stated for leaving? Why can’t you mention two of d reasons let us know actually what is going on?? Left for me she has d right to come back and leave and come back again because we don’t even know d reasons she left. You can’t bring your nonsense half marriage issues here and expect a complete advice from internet users. What kind of Brain you get sef to pick reasonable advice when we don’t know why she left in d first place

run tests if you decide to forgive

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

The woman is very very unstable.
..
Doing anything she likes without any reason

I will not give my opinion until I read the full honest story of the cause for the initial separation.

Before any initmacy, make you carry out STD Test and Pregnancy Test

Na so I see am Oooo! No Kids!

Datikwerreboi:

Your wife left too? Do you have kids together ?

bummyla:
Na so I see am Oooo! No Kids!

Why did she leave