Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

yes I will accept her back with a fine of one cockrel,one bottle of hot drink,5 tubers of yam and one carton of beer and I will sit her down and read the riot act to her,in case of another misbehaviour.

@Op This look like the one l know that happened 2 months ago. She left the man because the man was not responsible at all and to worsen the situation it is been rumored that the man has another woman in his village. He hardly drop money for food and when he does it's nothing to feed the 3 children and the wife. He hardly spend time with them. He relocate to the village in the name of work leaving the wife and the children in the city. The woman is back after much plea but the most disappointing thing is that the man as not changed. I really feel for the woman. It is better to be single than to marry an irresponsible man.

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

If you live in ogun State,I know the person you're talking about. OTA area to be specific.

Depends on what led to the separation. But you both need to sit and talk things out to avoid future occurrence of moving out and moving back in.


PS: It all balls down to what you want, and what you're willing to tolerate in the long run

Healthrelatedjo:
Op pls be very careful of that woman.
Them fit don lace her with thunderbolt,to kill you first,then she will go back to the new lover.

husband suppose try Love Machine on her first in case she is lace with magun( thunderbolt) , na Love Machine magun go catch be that...lol

Righteousness2:
As long as she is the Orginal wife of the man, and he is her Orginal husband, it is her Home. He should accept her.

GOD Hates Divorce. And what HE recongnizes is One man one wife. Any other thing is man or woman Decieving themselves.

God actually recognise Polygamous marriage...The one man one wife is American system.


DARE TO BE DIFFERENT!
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"And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives" (Judges 8:30).


Selah!
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"For he had many wives" (Judges 8:30).

So between the man, the wife and the side chick, who to be blamed?

Its better for women to have something they can do, even if its not very profitable.

Gunayo:
@Op This look like the one l know that happened 2 months ago. She left the man because the man was not responsible at all and to worsen the situation it is been rumored that the man has another woman in his village. He hardly drop money for food and when he does it's nothing to feed the 3 children and the wife. He hardly spend time with them. He relocate to the village in the name of work leaving the wife and the children in the city. The woman is back after much plea but the most disappointing thing is that the man as not changed. I really feel for the woman. It is better to be single than to marry an irresponsible man.

shortIGBOman:


You don't know how marriage works. Marriage is not Boyfriend and Girlfriend. But an avenue where you will tolerate your partners excessive. Remember, no one is perfect.

Separation is usually a period for sober reflection. During this period, both couples think through their actions and decide on better ways to handle such situations in future. Also remember, querell that are properly managed makes Couple bond more. There is no perfect marriage out there without querrels and misunderstanding. But how we manage it is what determine a good union.

Her return home shows that, She was wrong initially. Some people don't know how to apologise verbally, but their body movement will show they are remorsed. I urge the op to accept her. But have a one on one discussion with her, to avoid future reoccurrence.

Based on ur first paragraph, isn't bf and gf better??

The main issue is were did she go to in those two months of been away?if she went to the parents has and she was talked to to return and she did I don't see much problems with it.I mean U were constantly harrassing her and she has her parents house available to go it's only natural for her to leave for a while to clear her head...It is those women that don't have were to go that will endure your harrassment. Accept her and sought things out genuinely.Except if she was decieved and manipulated by a man and she left to go be with him for a while,them it's a no no

immortalcrown:
Coming back either out of remorse or she noticed she is pregnant.

Who run am?

Kobojunkie:
1. Depends on the circumstances under which the separation took place, and the other partner left behind. .

2. Again, depends on the condition of the marriage and the heart of those in it.

3. Again it depends on the condition s and agreement why they should reconcile. This has to do with religious, traditional court and other agreement
4. We should not be blind.. a child is already involved here. If they can forego. Thier egos and their haughtiness
5. It is not going to be business as usual for the unforgiven. Counselling and continuous check is really key here.
6. If there are traces of issues leading to separation e.g infedelity, DNA�etc . Must be dealt with and excise with the real seriousness it deserves

My fifty kobo

OLORIPAPA:
The main issue is were did she go to in those two months of been away?if she went to the parents has and she was talked to to return and she did I don't see much problems with it.I mean U were constantly harrassing her and she has her parents house available to go it's only natural for her to leave for a while to clear her head...It is those women that don't have were to go that will endure your harrassment. Accept her and sought things out genuinely.Except if she was decieved and manipulated by a man and she left to go be with him for a while,them it's a no no

Atimes some women think in a way one can't understand, I was with a friend the other day, the wife took his car keys and hide it for us not to go out.......
When my guy later found out what she did after we must have looked for the keys some serious hours, he got so angry with her and wanted to beat her, thanks for my presence.....

Now to OP....
She left your house on her own thoughts abi....
She wants to come back on her own thoughts as well??

That means you have not stepped up to define this marriage with her....
Is there love ( thorough understanding ) between both of you before getting married ?

Atimes people leave people because they feel they have nothing to lose and that is because they were no initial sacrifices to form a value between such parties....

I guess you should start by becoming a friend first to her, leave the marriage aspect and don't bring her back to your house.

See her in any place , if you are with the kid, or she is , u guys can be seeing somewhere.

First, try to make her a friend, bring up things that will act as sacrifices to both of you, something that will take a bit of your sweat and hers.

Let there be a valued relationship before you can even accept her back....

If both of you can't be friends , then her coming back won't work.

SeriouslySense:
Its better for women to have something doing also.

She is very hardworking. Infact she used to give her husband money to help him especially in the area of building their house but the man will waste it. Not to talk of the school fees and the feeding she takes care of even when he he is not dropping

2special:
She might be coming for revenge....to finish the job....Trust no one

May GOD bleas you

Her eyes has opened to the realities of life.
She has had sober reflections after realizing that all the respect people give her as a married woman has been thrown into the dustbin.
Am sure her village people has been gossiping about her.'madam which day are u traveling back to your husband's house.
Besides, she's no longer in charge of kitchen things.

Bros abeg accept her back but make sure you take her for pregnancy & other tests. You know what I mean?

Some of this comments shows that most people on this platform are kids and have no idea about marital customs.

The first and appropriate thing to do is to get Elders from both families involved... The rest is history

Only God knows what she had been up to in those 2 months.

My brother, pray to God, and listen to your heart.

Because if I am the one that a woman left me for two months, I will develop trust issues.

And I am a man who wants a simple life, I don't like the drama that comes with having trust issues.

“ When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?”

Before she left, she would have been disagreeing over one or more issues with her husband. How do you determine “justifiable reason”? Maybe you are the affected person, but if you are not, simple calmly ask what went wrong. Even if the lady was misled by someone, you can also find that something caused it.

If the man is satisfied that the issue has bren resolved, what stops him for accepting his wife back? He can joyfully accept his wife back bro.

Righteousness2:
As long as she is the Orginal wife of the man, and he is her Orginal husband, it is her Home. He should accept her.

GOD Hates Divorce. And what HE recongnizes is One man one wife. Any other thing is man or woman Decieving themselves.

One man one wife is human ideology instituted by the west and craftly inducted into the current Bible and has nothing to do with God... perhaps you should read your Bible more often

I'm appalled by the increasing SIMPlicity of today's African men. Time was when a woman would have to explain to her Ebubedike at home, with hot tears in her eyes, why she spent 30 minutes longer than normal at the market or salon.

Now 'men' are asking whether to accept a useless woman who disappeared from the matrimonial home for two months? Why not measure whether the litres of external sperm she ingested during that two month iniquitous hiatus would be enough to fill a big GP Tank.

This is a desperate call for the return of no-nonsense, non-negotiable patriarchy.

Gunayo:
She is very hardworking. Infact she used to give her husband money to help him especially in the area of building their house but the man will waste it. Not to talk of the school fees and the feeding she takes care of even when he he is not dropping

How does the man waste it?

Does he drink, smoke, womanize or gamble?

We jump quickly on the word " God hates divorce " but first question

Is He the one that joined ? If no , run from any suspicious marriage that won't give you joy and happiness

Righteousness2:
As long as she is the Orginal wife of the man, and he is her Orginal husband, it is her Home. He should accept her.

GOD Hates Divorce. And what HE recongnizes is One man one wife. Any other thing is man or woman Decieving themselves.

Righteousness2:
As long as she is the Orginal wife of the man, and he is her Orginal husband, it is her Home. He should accept her.

GOD Hates Divorce. And what HE recongnizes is One man one wife. Any other thing is man or woman Decieving themselves.

My friend God gave infidelity as the only condition for man to divorce so stop trying to justify shit

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

she has been taught a lesson. Welcome her back because of the children. But do many tests from HIV, SYVILIS, ETC

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...

When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back?

Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated.

Thanks all.

why accept the h0e back ? The man who promised her heaven and earth has disappointed her

I have gone through your threads and I think you and your wife need professional marriage counselling.

1. She said she would die if she doesn't live, why is she back?


2. You need to know why she left in the first place?


3. Where was she and with whom was she with,?


4. Don't be too eager to have her back .


5. Make her go for STD, HIV and Mental evaluation.

6. How old is she?

7. Even if you accept her , she may still leave.

8. Get both families involved.

What do you want is what really matters.

Kollyman:
Her return might be for permanent solution

If you know what that means

No, But

Might be her Permanent Decision

uthlaw:
We should wait for the elders, but for me ooo,is no no!

I know your sense. You no wan answer university exam question when you still dey primary school.

I think she had realized that common things are not common. Don't take advantage of that awareness . Accept her, moreso, your kid is innocent. Forgive her�� and love her more

BluntTheApostle:


How does the man waste it?

Does he drink, smoke, womanize or gamble?

He gamble and has another woman. He is irresponsible abeg. Let's call a spade a spade