₦airaland Forum

Tejumola856:
I’ve tried to be in relationship many times but it doesn’t work for me, I will just get tired all of the sudden within a couple of months, I can’t even point out a reason I get tired of it, I dated at least 6 girls last year which I later breakup with them without a reason.

What I discovered is that I always love them in the beginning to the extent that I will promise them heaven and earth, at the end of the day i will get tired of them.

The issue now is that, I met this girl last year December during the Christmas, I’m not going to lie, I truly love this girl, I asked her out and she agreed to be in relationship with me, this girl has been loyal to me, she’s always come to cook for me, she has once washed my clothes, I found happiness and joy in her but now, I’m having a feelings of breaking up with her, I stop calling or texting her, I don’t even know what’s going on in my life right now but my mind keep telling me to break up with her cus I need to be free.

Please over to you married men and those who are in relationship, how does it work out for you? I don’t understand my life again!

You are quite very normal.

There are different personalities, long term dating and marriage is not for everybody. But the society will.not understand that not everybody can conform

toujurs:
Are you saying guys feelings depreciates after having sex, while the ladies feelings appreciates after having sex ,

Maybe you're just gay...

Jman06:
YOU'RE AN ILLITERATE

So are you!

Jman06:
Op, I can understand your plight.
The reason is that an average Nigerian girl is not interesting to be with and to make matters worse, they don't even make attempts to improve on themselves since they believe that only the guy has the responsibility to bring everything into the relationship---the fun, the funds, etc. Many of them can't even hold conversations.

So, after enduring a few months of boredom, it is only natural for you to lose interest.

this is the most correct statement I have read on this topic.
The same issue I had with my soon to be ex girlfriend.. It's really tiring I tell you.
With there single word reply in issues.

lionphil:
The same way you've written this post, copy it and send it to her.

Are you insane?

Tejumola856:
I’ve tried to be in relationship many times but it doesn’t work for me, I will just get tired all of the sudden within a couple of months, I can’t even point out a reason I get tired of it, I dated at least 6 girls last year which I later breakup with them without a reason.

What I discovered is that I always love them in the beginning to the extent that I will promise them heaven and earth, at the end of the day i will get tired of them.

The issue now is that, I met this girl last year December during the Christmas, I’m not going to lie, I truly love this girl, I asked her out and she agreed to be in relationship with me, this girl has been loyal to me, she’s always come to cook for me, she has once washed my clothes, I found happiness and joy in her but now, I’m having a feelings of breaking up with her, I stop calling or texting her, I don’t even know what’s going on in my life right now but my mind keep telling me to break up with her cus I need to be free.

Please over to you married men and those who are in relationship, how does it work out for you? I don’t understand my life again!

There's a big fire on the mountain and people can't say they don't notice ..Lately I realised the society is full of damaged people (including celebrities) moving about seeking who to damage too and the circle keeps expanding.
In my opinion, I think you shouldn't habr any business dating until you fix yourself. You might hurt a good girl today and she in turn hurts a good guy tomo who later think "hurting " others is okay.

MrJames007:
You’re advising him like he’s dumped the present one already.

His post implies that he's about to

toujurs:
You are actually a fine girl o , but truth be told, most ladies show more commitment in a relationship after sex.

I experienced this from three ladies. Pursuing her bumper to bumper like a he goat , until i beat it up. .
I was surprised at her behavior afterwards, the sudden display of interest, attention and constant calls. I was like is this how women are. The initial energy i had about the relationship dropped from 100% to 65%. She even started calling me babe from that monent . Nawa o!

Except a lady is using sex as a business, she'll always cherish the intimacy that comes with sex. Although I've seen ladies who care less after sex, so it goes both ways.

Ausval:
Cmon don't be like this bro

There are a whole alot of valuable things woman can offer ...stop limiting them to sex ...they are not sex dolls

bro na question I de ask na?

tiswell:
a man is directly or indirectly alone,married or single.





life is unfair to men!

You're very right on this. That's what I have always told people when they lie about how marriage is for companionship and all that.
Most married men are alone! Nothing like companionship from their wives. That is why some seek fun with younger girls outside or take to drinking beer to make themselves happy.

toujurs:
I'm not saying men loose interest after sex, What am saying is that,The energy most men put into a relationship before sex, won't be the same after sex, the man will still love her, but all those too much eagerness to touchy touchy you know. While for ladies after sex, that's when you hear her start calling you babe. Some ladies would demand for a hand bag this is when you two haven't had sex oh, if you tell her you don't have the money to buy it, she will ignore you, till you come and beg her for understanding, but after you must have had sex with her, if you tell her you don't have the money, she won't ignore you, but even if she does and you ignore her back she would be the one to come to you, and ask why you are ignoring her . You get

We both agree that women develop stronger emotions after sex

The way I see it, those men who put in less effort after sex have kind of lost interest. They'll break up when they meet the next woman they desire to conquer

Do you think blue films may be your problem ?
Serious question.

bluefilm:
Thank God I am not the only one going through this.

BUT I think my own case is better than yours because i don't promise the girls anything.

They are free to go any time they feel like it.

nachisunday:
lmao. You funny Okay hello dear sorry to disturb come let's have some taste and let us check it out now

Taste ? hmmm

Simplelion:
Are you sure you don't have spiritual wife?......na question i ask oo, make una no rush my throat with different quote.

You might be right o

gift0123:
Taste ? hmmm

gift0123:
Taste ? hmmm

gift0123:
Taste ? hmmm

yeah, if you can now
Dm me privately just mail me #nachistarsunday2001@gmail.com i will give you feedback asap no problem
am for real dear.

missimelda01:
Try not to have sex with the next girl you meet, find other non-sexual ways to build intimacy and you'll continue to find her interesting.

Madam this not a reason, I'm not supporting careless living,ost likely this guy may have not been intimate with them.

Six girls! Stop treating a psychological or most likely a spiritual challenge with physical phenomenas. There's more to this.

Oga...you need prayers. Trust me.... Something beyond you is at the scene.

OP what is your relationship with pornography like ? Does porn ever get tiring?

If you have porn addiction address it.

Try taking relationships slow keep it platonic and limit how often you meet up in person to once a week or once a forthnight.

If you can maintain your interest in the relationship then start making plans to take things to next level and continue limiting meet ups.

One thing about females is they are emotional and they love to move quickly so don't allow her to be cooking and doing domestic chores even for the one day in the weak you meet up. So going slowly would also test her loyalty whilst keeping her emotional investment in check more.

Tejumola856:
I’ve tried to be in relationship many times but it doesn’t work for me, I will just get tired all of the sudden within a couple of months, I can’t even point out a reason I get tired of it, I dated at least 6 girls last year which I later breakup with them without a reason.

What I discovered is that I always love them in the beginning to the extent that I will promise them heaven and earth, at the end of the day i will get tired of them.

The issue now is that, I met this girl last year December during the Christmas, I’m not going to lie, I truly love this girl, I asked her out and she agreed to be in relationship with me, this girl has been loyal to me, she’s always come to cook for me, she has once washed my clothes, I found happiness and joy in her but now, I’m having a feelings of breaking up with her, I stop calling or texting her, I don’t even know what’s going on in my life right now but my mind keep telling me to break up with her cus I need to be free.

Please over to you married men and those who are in relationship, how does it work out for you? I don’t understand my life again!

Mcslize:
You are not alone. If you want to still be with the girl, then both of you should take some time off to miss each other. A clingy relationship is quite suffocating. If you try this, it will work for you.

Take out time to miss each other. Let a full day pass by without both of you talking to each other. But first, discuss it with her.

Why people get fed up so quick in a relationship is because they are not taking out time to miss each other. They talk every day which is not healthy for a long term relationship. Take out 1 to 2 days to miss each other. You will be surprised how this will create more passion based on the theory of scarcity.

Scarcity creates stronger desires and demands. For someone like you, this is going to help alot. When you both stay off each other for like 1 full day or 2, this will increase your desire more for her to want to see her again.

This is how it works: Monday to Tuesday, dine, give each other attention, talk and do all the normal relationship things. Then both of you should not talk to each other all throughout Wednesday. Watch out how your desire to see each other will skyrocket again.

1 day in, 1 day off (no talking to each other). 3 days in, 2 days off( no talking to each other). This will help you both miss each other so much which will in turn helps renew your passion for each other.

If the "no talking to each other" is too long there will problem.

dauntless15:
Exactly what's happening to me rn, currently I have a text from her asking babe are we good? And I can't say yes because I know that's a big lie, I've been trying to breakup with her but I don't have a tangible reason, she's been good and everything there's really nothing I can use to breakup with her, then my conscience is acting funny because she predicted last week that I would break up with her when I texted her that we need to talk and it'll feel like I'm now discarding her because I used her( that's what they think sex is right? Using?) but that's not the case, I am the problem I know, but she won't understand, right now I just want to be single, and free, the calls and care is too overwhelming even though I loved her from the start and the relationship is barely two months old, I literally need space even though the poor girl doesn't deserve such bullshit treatment from me.

Your honesty is real, you're real G, see just man up up and tell her your problems. There's no two ways about it, don't linger her pain.

uthlaw:
what value one can place on a woman apart from sex?

Companionship, advice or wisdom from your partner, helping doing house chores and many other value that she can provide apart from sex

.

cococandy:
Correct alpha male.
That’s how it’s done

When you’re ready to marry, start looking for a virgin

Is virgin the right one ?

BRO,
You are GAY
Stop fighting it.
Talk to that guy wein you dey take the korner of ya eye dey look.
NO worries, God still loves You.
Can a creator hate what he created ?
Best of Luck

Been there, still working on it..

OP just Google abandonment issues and see if you can relate..
Discovered that was my problem in 2021 January..
Like I stopped dating or meeting new people, because no matter how great my relationship is, I'd still feel this urge to just move..

Now at least I have healthy female friendships.

Just make you research,

The reason you keep dating is because you feel empty inside, this relationships are supposed to fill you, that's what you think, and after a while they don't make your life better, so you drop them and tell yourself maybe someone special is out there.

Guy you need to do some soul searching, shadow work and mental evaluation.

Jman06:
Op, I can understand your plight.
The reason is that an average Nigerian girl is not interesting to be with and to make matters worse, they don't even make attempts to improve on themselves since they believe that only the guy has the responsibility to bring everything into the relationship---the fun, the funds, etc. Many of them can't even hold conversations.

So, after enduring a few months of boredom, it is only natural for you to lose interest.

Well that's from your own point of view , I have been in a relationship that I would be the only making suggestions and also be the one looking for answers to them , so tell me what are you going to call that one.although I'm done with it .

Yusufisraelj:
Your honesty is real, you're real G, see just man up up and tell her your problems. There's no two ways about it, don't linger her pain.

I am cool telling her, it's how she'd react that scares me, she might make a scene, curse me or attack me, and me I avoid drama and embarrassment at all cost.

Na wa for una ooo...all this HIV post on nairaland, e b like say some people never still learn ooo,until u catch am now, bfor ur eye go clear.. Continue super man

dauntless15:
I am cool telling her, it's how she'd react that scares me, she might make a scene, curse me or attack me, and me I avoid drama and embarrassment at all cost.

Yeah same here brother, but e no get as e be find a way, my add maths teacher go say don't prolong the evil day, just do it, Lols. But find what works for you, maybe her friend or just be direct.

You may pray about it or seek counsel.

missimelda01:
Try not to have sex with the next girl you meet, find other non-sexual ways to build intimacy and you'll continue to find her interesting.

that'll be a temporary solution. What happens when he finally get intimate?

Tejumola856:
I’ve tried to be in relationship many times but it doesn’t work for me, I will just get tired all of the sudden within a couple of months, I can’t even point out a reason I get tired of it, I dated at least 6 girls last year which I later breakup with them without a reason.

What I discovered is that I always love them in the beginning to the extent that I will promise them heaven and earth, at the end of the day i will get tired of them.

The issue now is that, I met this girl last year December during the Christmas, I’m not going to lie, I truly love this girl, I asked her out and she agreed to be in relationship with me, this girl has been loyal to me, she’s always come to cook for me, she has once washed my clothes, I found happiness and joy in her but now, I’m having a feelings of breaking up with her, I stop calling or texting her, I don’t even know what’s going on in my life right now but my mind keep telling me to break up with her cus I need to be free.

Please over to you married men and those who are in relationship, how does it work out for you? I don’t understand my life again!

Well, Its because of people like you we have the likes of Adele , Toni Braxton and Mary J.
The reason is quite simple.
You break their hearts because you are afraid they will break yours.
You either witnessed a break up or separation of a close couple or you were jilted in a relationship.
I will also put your age at late 20's to early 30's ( Pure conjecture)

I used to be somewhat like you but mine was pure conquest. I would make advances to ladies, date them and " ghost " them before ghosting became a thing. I was all things to all girls . I could carry a tune and serenade a lady, I was educated and loved my Mills and Boon , JHC ( James Hadley Chase, SS ( Sidney Sheldon) Agatha Christy. I could quote the bible - if it served my ultimate goal. I was not rich but I could yarn my way into any conversation. You had a boyfriend - not a problem !
Why did i see girls as a conquest at that time ? Because some dude told me that a particular girl he was dating was beyond my reach !

There is always a reason - Go into Sherlock Holmes "mind palace" mode and rewind.

How did I break my mode ? - One lady "stood her ground" she said later to me when I asked her why she didn't fall . " Charles, It was the hardest thing for me not to give in, you were relentless , cunning & sweet but she was determined to save our friendship at all cost. " She knew if we did it, I was gone with the wind. We are still friends today. !

How do you break your mode ? - Its a cycle you have to break.

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missimelda01:
Try not to have sex with the next girl you meet, find other non-sexual ways to build intimacy and you'll continue to find her interesting.

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