Please I would love to get a sincere and unbiased response from this question. Please who takes over the academic responsibilities(school fees,pocket money and others) when a lady still schooling decides to get married, is it the husband or the parents are to continue their responsibilities till she graduates?

Her husband na.

the most the parents can do at this point is advice, send small small things when necessary.

which husband will allow his in-laws carry his responsibilities after marriage?

Aidejay:
Her husband na.

the most the parents can do at this point is advice, send small small things when necessary.

which husband will allow his in-laws carry his responsibilities after marriage?

Well,a husband to a family friend has refused to take the responsibilities of his wife(who recently got married as a student) stating clearly that it's not his duty to be responsible for her education,that he's only her husband and not her dad.

If a man decides to marry a lady who is still in school,then it is because he is ready to take over the financing of her education.
The parents can still chip in as they wish.

thorpido:
If a man decides to marry a lady who is still in school,then it is because he is ready to take over the financing of her education.
The parents can still chip in as they wish.

According to what tradition be this one?

What happens in the case that a woman decides to marry a man who is still in school? Does it also mean the woman takes responsibility for his tuition and other school needs as well?

Iyaebe:
Well,a husband to a family friend has refused to take the responsibilities of his wife(who recently got married as a student) stating clearly that it's not his duty to be responsible for her education,that he's only her husband and not her dad.

Lol. That man should say what is really chucking him. Maybe he doesn't have money, or he is insecure that his wife might advance educationally above him, or he is scared his wife going to school will expose her to promiscuity or she won't be focused on the family.

Because this is not a new thing, from time men have sponsored their wives through school.

Kobojunkie:
According to what tradition be this one?

What happens if a woman decides to marry a man who is still in school, does it also mean the woman takes responsibility for his tuition and other school needs as well?

We all know the man is the major financier in the home except the woman is more financially capable.

@bold,if the woman wants she can take over his tuition and other school needs(that will happen in Mars anyway).

thorpido:
If a man decides to marry a lady who is still in school,then it is because he is ready to take over the financing of her education.
The parents can still chip in as they wish.

I thought as much but the situation we have before us now is critical. Husband and fatherinlaw are at a very strong disagreement over who takes responsibility, the father said if he insists that he continues to take charge of his daughter's academic responsibilities then she should return back to his house and he'll gladly continue to do it else he should take over as the husband.

Aidejay:

Lol. That man should say what is really chucking him. Maybe he doesn't have money, or he is insecure that his wife might advance educationally above him, or he is scared his wife going to school will expose her to promiscuity or she won't be focused on the family.

Because this is not a new thing, from time men have sponsored their wives through school.

He can handle it if he wants to but he outrightly told his fatherinlaw that its not his responsibility to foot his daughter's academic bills that they only agreed to get married and it wasn't part of the marriage agreement. Very stubborn and has refused to soft pedal.

The man is a buffoon. He lacks shame of all sorts.

thorpido:
We all know the man is the major financier in the home except the woman is more financially capable.

@bold,if the woman wants she can take over his tuition and other school needs(that will happen in Mars anyway).

I don't live in the same world that you do hence the reason why I ask what tradition your ideas come from.

So, I see that your tradition only seems to heap this responsibility on men and not on women who do same as the men.

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In the world that I live in, marriage does not strip persons of their individual responsibilities in any way or form. So if a woman signed up for school, and eventually gets married, she remains responsible for making certain her bills are paid. If her parents made her the pledge to handle her expenses, then that pledge remains intact, whether married or not.

I can't send a woman to school unless she's my daughter or my sister...

pauladonis:
I can't send a woman to school unless she's my daughter or my sister...

Exactly part of the reasons he gave,he said he only owe his future kids that responsibility and not his wife but the fatherinlaw also maintained that he should send back his daughter to him to train after which he can come back for her when she's done schooling. The lady has pleaded with her husband but it seems he's one of those redpill boys.

Iyaebe:
Please I would love to get a sincere and unbiased response from this question. Please who takes over the academic responsibilities(school fees,pocket money and others) when a lady still schooling decides to get married, is it the husband or the parents are to continue their responsibilities till she graduates?

The lady can also be responsible for her own tuition fees, unless she is impecunious.

TheAviator:


The lady can also be responsible for her own tuition fees, unless she is impecunious.

She's a student and jobless for now.(200level)

Iyaebe:
Well,a husband to a family friend has refused to take the responsibilities of his wife(who recently got married as a student) stating clearly that it's not his duty to be responsible for her education,that he's only her husband and not her dad.

Why do ladies marry irresponsible men or boys who don’t understand the basics of their responsibilities. She rushed to marry him so she should enjoy him like that.

Nexttime when she’s dating she will discuss important issues and not just love or atleast have her own money Incase. Lol

jaxxy:


Why do ladies marry irresponsible men or boys who don’t understand the basics of their responsibilities. She rushed to marry him so she should enjoy him like that.

Nexttime when she’s dating she will discuss important issues and not just love or atleast have her own money Incase. Lol

Exactly the husband is outrightly showing signs of irresponsibilty

Iyaebe:
She's a student and jobless for now.(200level)

Then both her father and hubby can contribute to sponsor her. I think the husband can still be persuaded to be part of her sponsorship. It might be that the girl's parents are making it look like it's compulsory for him to sponsor her education because he is now her husband, and that's why he is just saying no because he doesn't like people with entitlement mentality. Humans have the tendency to say no when we approach them with an entitlement mentality.

The solution is that both sides should compromise. The girl's parents and her hubby should stop being rigid. Both sides should sponsor her education. The girl's parents should try to persuade the man and not try to insist that it's his responsibility. They should appeal to his human side, his affection for the wife, and nobler motive. They should tell him he is doing it to be of help to his wife, and not that he is being forced to do it. This way, he will be persuaded.

Iyaebe:
Exactly the husband is outrightly showing signs of irresponsibilty

He should return her back to her family so she can finish her studies then come back to his house after graduating. That’s if she wants to return back. Since he’s not her father and he married a student.

TheAviator:


Then both her father and hubby can contribute to sponsor her. I think the husband can still be persuaded to be part of her sponsorship. It might be that the girl's parents are making it look like it's compulsory for him to sponsor her education because he is now her husband, and that's why he is just saying no because he doesn't like people with entitlement mentality. Humans have the tendency to say no when we approach them with an entitlement mentality.

The solution is that both sides should compromise. The girl's parents and her hubby should stop being rigid. Both sides should sponsor her education. The girl's parents should try to persuade the man and not try to insist that it's his responsibility. They should appeal to his human side, his affection for the wife, and nobler motive. They should tell him he is doing it to be of help to his wife, and not that he is being forced to do it. This way, he will be persuaded.

Both the husband and fatherinlaw are very stubborn as it seems. The fatherinlaw told him to send his daughter back to him so he can continue to sponsor her as he won't ever succumb to the idea of continuing sponsoring a daughter who is in her husband's house.

jaxxy:


He should return her back to her family so she can finish her studies then come back to his house after graduating. That’s if she wants to return back. Since he’s not her father and he married a student.

Exactly what her dad told the soninlaw

Iyaebe:
Well,a husband to a family friend has refused to take the responsibilities of his wife(who recently got married as a student) stating clearly that it's not his duty to be responsible for her education,that he's only her husband and not her dad.

Why exactly should he take responsibility for her education simply because he married her though?

If she hadn't met and married this man, who would have been responsible for her tuition and expenses? Why does she expect marriage to change this for her? Did the man and woman agree that marriage would or is that an assumption the woman blindly made of her own?

jaxxy:
He should return her back to her family so she can finish her studies then come back to his house after graduating. That’s if she wants to return back. Since he’s not her father and he married a student.

The woman na dog wey una dey return back to owner or something?

A husband is a partner and not one who takes the place of a father or a mother. If a woman does not know and understand this, then truly she has no business being married.

Lol,na wa oh. The moment the man married her, she became his responsibility.

faithfull18:
Lol,na wa oh. The moment the man married her, she became his responsibility.

According to what culture/tradition abeg?

I ask so we can get a good idea of where you are coming from.

Iyaebe:
Both the husband and fatherinlaw are very stubborn as it seems. The fatherinlaw told him to send his daughter back to him so he can continue to sponsor her as he won't ever succumb to the idea of continuing sponsoring a daughter who is in her husband's house.

That's why I said they need to stop telling each other "you should sponsor her." The husband should stop insisting it's the parent's responsibility while the parents should stop insisting it's the hubby's responsibility. This seeming abdication of responsibility by both sides is what is making both sides to be obdurate. They should come together and should both sponsor her. This way, either side will not feel the other side is trying to take advantage of him.

Iyaebe:
Exactly part of the reasons he gave,he said he only owe his future kids that responsibility and not his wife but the fatherinlaw also maintained that he should send back his daughter to him to train after which he can come back for her when she's done schooling. The lady has pleaded with her husband but it seems he's one of those redpill boys.

A woman is also a human being.


I don't know who told our women that their existence must be someone else's responsibility. If she's an adult and ready for marriage, it means she should be able to provide for herself to an extent.

Marriage is not a transferrence of burdens, cuz that's what the scenario looks like to me...

She should be able to fund her education without depending on anyone...

I can "support" her quest for self-development and knowledge, but I'm not sending a grown ass woman to school because I'm married to her. It won't happen.


I don't think I'd want anything to do with that kind of woman and her family if they have that kind of mentality. (Talmabout training her... Is she a dog?)

pauladonis:
I can't send a woman to school unless she's my daughter or my sister...

Even after marriage?�

The husband. Once you are married, it becomes your duty to help improve your spouse and make them better as much as you can. That is when you truly enjoy the synergy in marriage.

pauladonis:



A woman is also a human being.


I don't know who told our women that their existence must be someone else's responsibility. If she's an adult and ready for marriage, it means she should be able to provide for herself to an extent.

Marriage is not a transferrence of burdens, cuz that's what the scenario looks like to me...

She should be able to fund her education without depending on anyone...

I can "support" her quest for self-development and knowledge, but I'm not sending a grown ass woman to school because I'm married to her. It won't happen.


I don't think I'd want anything to do with that kind of woman and her family if they have that kind of mentality. (Talmabout training her... Is she a dog?)

Marriage, my friend, is a transference of burden.

Iyaebe:
Please I would love to get a sincere and unbiased response from this question. Please who takes over the academic responsibilities(school fees,pocket money and others) when a lady still schooling decides to get married, is it the husband or the parents are to continue their responsibilities till she graduates?

This is why I always counsel young people that Marriage is not for children. It is for matured individuals in mind. When you say you want to marry a woman, It simply means: "I want all your problems, pains, struggles, sickness, failures and the likes". It also means "I want to compliment your flaws and make you a better person either physically, financially or otherwise".
I mean no disrespect OP but this is a USELESS POST

The man.