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Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Nobody: 10:24pm On Feb 10
franchasng:
Only God can answer that question sincerely cry



The beauty of a woman is in her shape not really her face like many ladies think and waste their time on makeup angry
Lol so you don't mind an ugly lady with a very good figure 8 shape
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by franchasng: 10:27pm On Feb 10
Iyaebe:
Lol so you don't mind an ugly lady with a very good figure 8 shape
if she has flat tummy, sizeable firm boobs (not big oh), nice legs and bouncing buttocks, her face doesn't matter shocked

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Nobody: 10:35pm On Feb 10
franchasng:
if she has flat tummy, sizeable firm boobs (not big oh), nice legs and bouncing buttocks, her face doesn't matter shocked
Some ladies got both(front and back) and that gives a perfect good figure8 and blessed with a very beautiful face as well,I guess you won't still like such ladies because of the big front,its like you're all for back and hates a big front
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by franchasng: 10:51pm On Feb 10
Iyaebe:
Some ladies got both(front and back) and that gives a perfect good figure8 and blessed with a very beautiful face as well,I guess you won't still like such ladies because of the big front,its like you're all for back and hates a big front
Yes oh, big front doesn't freak me. let the front just be there not flat or tiny. But the back can be as big as it can, but tummy must be flat grin
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Nobody: 10:57pm On Feb 10
franchasng:
Yes oh, big front doesn't freak me. let the front just be there not flat or tiny. But the back can be as big as it can, but tummy must be flat grin
Hope you sef no get potbelly because the way you dislike big tummy on ladies makes me laugh so hard most times. I imagine the kind of face you make when a lady with big tummy walked pass by
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by franchasng: 7:11am On Feb 11
Iyaebe:
Hope you sef no get potbelly because the way you dislike big tummy on ladies makes me laugh so hard most times. I imagine the kind of face you make when a lady with big tummy walked pass by
Hehehe, my tummy is as flat as lizard own cheesy


I can never get big tummy, never. If you see me self, I may deceive you that I just turned 26 and searching for my first love grin grin
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by pocohantas(f): 8:11am On Feb 11
Iyaebe:
Not a good reason to stubbornly refused to perform his responsibility

I think the parents should pay the fees. I can’t allow any man train my daughter in school. Definitely not her first degree. Naija men wey go buy you phone, small quarrel you no go rest. Come be when the certificate you are holding was by their power. God abeg o! grin

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Nobody: 1:58pm On Feb 11
pocohantas:


I think the parents should pay the fees. I can’t allow any man train my daughter in school. Definitely not her first degree. Naija men wey go buy you phone, small quarrel you no go rest. Come be when the certificate you are holding was by their power. God abeg o! grin
It's a slap on the man's face if his father in-law continue to pay his wife's fees.Her dad said he's ready to continue paying her fees only if he return her back to him. Naija men are not nice,na manage person just dy manage dem.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by pocohantas(f): 3:37pm On Feb 11
Iyaebe:
It's a slap on the man's face if his father in-law continue to pay his wife's fees.Her dad said he's ready to continue paying her fees only if he return her back to him. Naija men are not nice,na manage person just dy manage dem.

Lol. It doesn’t have to get to this. The guy shouldn’t have put it that way to the father. Na the girl I dey pity sef.

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 4:56pm On Feb 11
Iyaebe:
She's a student and jobless for now. (200level)
She is jobless and opened her eyes to get married and become a burden to whom?

If she had something doing would she be waiting for her husband or father to pay her fees just look at this awful situation she just got married jobless and became a financial liability and the husband has not even waited up to a year to bring it to her attention that she is a liability?

I will have to side with her husband on this one and I wonder why he even married her, when they were dating why did they not discuss this? the father should continue paying her fees if she was not married he would still be paying the fees, her education especially that of her first degree should not be on the burden of a young man who has other priorities working for the betterment of their family.

Children will come he is saving his money for that responsibility let the girl and her father sort out the fees and not kill a young man.

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by cayorday89(m): 3:39am On Feb 12
pocohantas:


Lol. It doesn’t have to get to this. The guy shouldn’t have put it that way to the father. Na the girl I dey pity sef.
It get as it be, why don't they come to a conclusion that will be okay to both party, like both splitting the payment. Since there is no general rule to this, the best is to make part payments by both parties with the consideration that they are both trying their best since either party is not fully capable instead of showing their ego and insecurities. Truly, the girl will be like "which kind wahala be this".
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by cayorday89(m): 3:55am On Feb 12
Ladyhippolyta88:
She is jobless and opened her eyes to get married and become a burden to whom?

If she had something doing would she be waiting for her husband or father to pay her fees just look at this awful situation she just got married jobless and became a financial liability and the husband has not even waited up to a year to bring it to her attention that she is a liability?

I will have to side with her husband on this one and I wonder why he even married her, when they were dating why did they not discuss this? the father should continue paying her fees if she was not married he would still be paying the fees, her education especially that of her first degree should not be on the burden of a young man who has other priorities working for the betterment of their family.

Children will come he is saving his money for that responsibility let the girl and her father sort out the fees and not kill a young man.
A very complex situation, why will a man choose to marry 200level student and not want to help in her education, is he not the one that will benefit in the long run, when she gets educated and gets a job, won't she help with funding for the family?
For the father, why will he decide not to pay for his daughter's education just because she got married, don't he know that it is a thing of joy and pride to say that I made sure my daughter is educated and still funded it even though she got married while at it, because I won't want her to lose that part of life in case the husband wants to do the unthinkable in the near future.
For the lady, why considering marriage when she is not partially independent, not even have way yet to her tertiary educational journey, why is she in a hurry?
We can go on and on and different people will be right with whoever they support but the fact is there is no general rule to guide and support either party. They should just look at the bigger picture, consider every factors like who is capable financially and not some unreasonable assumptions, then come to a conclusion to either pay jointly or whoever can afford to pay at any point in time with the other chipping in something everyother time. In all, where is the mother of the bride in this situation.

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Kobojunkie: 4:08am On Feb 12
cayorday89:
1. A very complex situation, why will a man choose to marry 200level student and not want to help in her education, is he not the one that will benefit in the long run, when she gets educated and gets a job, won't she help with funding for the family?

2. For the father, why will he decide not to pay for his daughter's education just because she got married, don't he know that it is a thing of joy and pride to say that I made sure my daughter is educated and still funded it even though she got married while at it, because I won't want her to lose that part of life in case the husband wants to do the unthinkable in the near future.

3. For the lady, why considering marriage when she is not partially independent, not even have way yet to her tertiary educational journey, why is she in a hurry?

4. We can go on and on and different people will be right with whoever they support but the fact is there is no general rule to guide and support either party. They should just look at the bigger picture, consider every factors like who is capable financially and not some unreasonable assumptions, then come to a conclusion to either pay jointly or whoever can afford to pay at any point in time with the other chipping in something everyother time. In all, where is the mother of the bride in this situation.
1. The man's plan may be to have her live as a housewife, maybe running a store out front somewhere. undecided

2. The father probably also sees the child are property that has exchanged hands with the marriage and so her education no longer his responsibility. undecided

3. Nothing wrong with a student getting married while still independent really. She happens to have been lucky to find marriage at that time and decided to go for it too. That she was in 200L and a dependent at the time of her union doesn't exactly mean she was too young for the institution of marriage. undecided

4. OK. undecided

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by cayorday89(m): 4:19am On Feb 12
Kobojunkie:
1. The man's plan may be to have her live as a housewife, maybe running a store out front somewhere. undecided

2. The father probably also sees the child are property that has exchanged hands with the marriage and so her education no longer his responsibility. undecided

3. Nothing wrong with a student getting married while still independent really. She happens to have been lucky to find marriage at that time and decided to go for it too. That she was in 200L and independent at the time of her union doesn't exactly mean she was too young for the institution of marriage. undecided

4. OK. undecided

All points are valid and there are many other reasons to counter each parties involved and we all will be right and wrong depending on the angle we view from.. Reason for my No: 4 conclusion which you also agreed with.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by GboyegaD(m): 4:51am On Feb 12
Iyaebe:
I thought as much but the situation we have before us now is critical. Husband and fatherinlaw are at a very strong disagreement over who takes responsibility, the father said if he insists that he continues to take charge of his daughter's academic responsibilities then she should return back to his house and he'll gladly continue to do it else he should take over as the husband.

Why is the father not willing to continue his responsibility? Why did he not ask the husband the plans for the daughter? I guess both of them are just trying to show their prowess and there is a possibility the guy is trying to get back to the girl's family. Whatever it is, the lady in question should talk to her husband and they should reach a good conclusion.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Nobody: 4:59am On Feb 12
GboyegaD:


Why is the father not willing to continue his responsibility? Why did he not ask the husband the plans for the daughter? I guess both of them are just trying to show their prowess and there is a possibility the guy is trying to get back to the girl's family. Whatever it is, the lady in question should talk to her husband and they should reach a good conclusion.
The dad already agreed to continue paying the fees but only on the condition that he return his daughter back to him as he can't be paying the fees of an already married daughter but the husband is having non of it stating clearly that it's not his responsibility to pay her fees and it wasn't part of their agreement as well.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Kobojunkie: 5:17am On Feb 12
cayorday89:
All points are valid and there are many other reasons to counter each parties involved and we all will be right and wrong depending on the angle we view from.. Reason for my No: 4 conclusion which you also agreed with.
I don't agree with your number 4 - I simply acknowledge your opinion is all. undecided

A woman, especially one mature enough for marriage, isn't an eejit, and so should be able to sort out that which concerns her education. It should be on her to negotiate payment of her own educational future in, not for her father and husband to argue over who should be responsible. This is unless she is going into her marriage as a housewife, in which case I wonder why continue to pay for an education which she has no plans to put to use. undecided
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by GboyegaD(m): 5:35am On Feb 12
Iyaebe:
The dad already agreed to continue paying the fees but only on the condition that he return his daughter back to him as he can't be paying the fees of an already married daughter but the husband is having non of it stating clearly that it's not his responsibility to pay her fees and it wasn't part of their agreement as well.

Both of them are just babies in men's bodies.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by cayorday89(m): 7:22am On Feb 12
Kobojunkie:
I don't agree with your number 4 - I simply acknowledge your opinion is all. undecided

A woman, especially one mature enough for marriage, isn't an eejit, and so should be able to sort out that which concerns her education. It should be on her to negotiate payment of her own educational future in, not for her father and husband to argue over who should be responsible. This is unless she is going into her marriage as a housewife, in which case I wonder why continue to pay for an education which she has no plans to put to use. undecided
So true, but considering that most times people assume things issues like this are bound to happen, and the most likely option was for her to finish education before getting married, it's not strange that she cannot finance her own education. And her negotiating payment of her education will come to a conclusion of choosing one of the two parties who are at loggerheads already, so unless the father and husband come to agreement on how her education can be paid for her decision on who she wants to pay for it will be baseless.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by eyinjuege: 7:41am On Feb 12
They should have discussed this before marriage
Why did she decide to marry while in school though, without making plans about how she will continue her education?
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by pocohantas(f): 8:41am On Feb 12
cayorday89:

It get as it be, why don't they come to a conclusion that will be okay to both party, like both splitting the payment. Since there is no general rule to this, the best is to make part payments by both parties with the consideration that they are both trying their best since either party is not fully capable instead of showing their ego and insecurities. Truly, the girl will be like "which kind wahala be this".

Ego play. I think some things are better left unsaid when dealing with Nigerian in-laws. The husband shouldn’t have put it to his father in-law that he won’t pay. E fit just tell am say e no get all the money, lol. Okay o, let me pay school fees, you help with accommodation. cheesy

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by descartes400: 9:01am On Feb 12
Iyaebe:
Not a good reason to stubbornly refused to perform his responsibility

Why are you so insistence of forcing the MAN take to the responsibility of the lady's academics tuition when he does every responsibilities to the lady without fail?

According to your narrative, the man started he owes such to his future kids only...but yet you would call such man an irresponsible man?
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Kobojunkie: 9:27am On Feb 12
cayorday89:

So true, but considering that most times people assume things issues like this are bound to happen, and the most likely option was for her to finish education before getting married, it's not strange that she cannot finance her own education. And her negotiating payment of her education will come to a conclusion of choosing one of the two parties who are at loggerheads already, so unless the father and husband come to agreement on how her education can be paid for her decision on who she wants to pay for it will be baseless.
Not really! if neiyher her father, nor her husband agrees to fund her, she can as well fund her own way through the rest of college --- get a job and save up to do so --- like many others before her have done, assuming it matters that much to her. undecided
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Nobody: 11:37am On Feb 12
descartes400:


Why are you so insistence of forcing the MAN take to the responsibility of the lady's academics tuition when he does every responsibilities to the lady without fail?

According to your narrative, the man started he owes such to his future kids only...but yet you would call such man an irresponsible man?

Is his wife not part of his responsibility? I hope he won't be benefitting from her educational success when his father is done training her.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Karleb(m): 12:00pm On Feb 12
Her parents.

Only irresponsible parents would transfer their responsibility to their in-law.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by frozen70(f): 12:35pm On Feb 12
Iyaebe:
Please I would love to get a sincere and unbiased response from this question. Please who takes over the academic responsibilities(school fees,pocket money and others) when a lady still schooling decides to get married, is it the husband or the parents are to continue their responsibilities till she graduates?

Definitely the husband so far he has married her and payed her bride price

He already knows that she is in school, so he is prepared for it
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Ifakiland(m): 7:51pm On Feb 12
Iyaebe:
She's a student and jobless for now.(200level)
Why will any right thinking guy wanna marry a jobless student?? And you say he's a redpiller? Nop he's a simple forcing hard....a redpiller alpha dawg won't even date a jobless student, talkmore of marrying one....do you know how disgusting a jobless girl is in in relationship
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Nobody: 8:05pm On Feb 12
Ifakiland:

Why will any right thinking guy wanna marry a jobless student?? And you say he's a redpiller? Nop he's a simple forcing hard....a redpiller alpha dawg won't even date a jobless student, talkmore of marrying one....do you know how disgusting a jobless girl is in in relationship
So what would you say about men who strictly restricted their wives from working (complete housewife)? a not right thinking man?
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Mordecai(m): 8:12pm On Feb 12
Kobojunkie:
According to what culture/tradition abeg? undecided

I ask so we can get a good idea of where you are coming from. undecided

Hello Kobojunkie,

I keep noticing you in Family section giving loads of marriage advice.

It appears also, that you are not from around here, you do not even know the culture nor do you appreciate it.

Unless, you're a psychopath, should it not worry you that you've been leading helpless people down the wrong path? Especially because even you would be lost if you were to be married and resident here.

Despite our economic woes, we are a people with diverse and rich cultures, traditions that we hold dear, and would not toss them out the window just to please some directionless moneybags. We would evolve, like humans do.

So, if you have a motive to indoctrinate Nigerians, it would be dead on arrival.

Just saying.
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Kobojunkie: 8:14pm On Feb 12
Iyaebe:
So what would you say about men who strictly restricted their wives from working (complete housewife)? a not right thinking man?
Are the women in those cases imbe--ciles? undecided

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Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Kobojunkie: 8:16pm On Feb 12
Mordecai:
Unless, you're a psychopath, should it not worry you that you've been leading helpless people down the wrong path? Especially because even you would be lost if you were to be married and resident here.

Despite our economic woes, we are a people with diverse and rich cultures, traditions that we hold dear, and would not toss them out the window just to please some directionless moneybags. We would evolve, like humans do.

So, if you have a motive to indoctrinate Nigerians, it would be dead on arrival.
Just saying.
Do you even have a clue what it means to be a psychopath? undecided

Indoctrinate Nigerians? Are you just here to attention-seek or what? undecided
Re: Who Takes Over The Schooling Responsibilities When A Lady Student Gets Married? by Mordecai(m): 8:26pm On Feb 12
Iyaebe:
Please I would love to get a sincere and unbiased response from this question. Please who takes over the academic responsibilities(school fees,pocket money and others) when a lady still schooling decides to get married, is it the husband or the parents are to continue their responsibilities till she graduates?

To understand this, you have to see what transpired throughout the process of the wedding.

Most likely, the man was made to pass through a lot of unnecessary hurdles by his in-laws. This can lead to a situation where he would feel he owes his FIL nothing.

This would explain why he's taking such a hard stance immediately after the wedding. It's not normal.

If what I think happened is what really happened, then the FIL should know that there is no way on earth the groom will let his bride return back to her parents, yet he would not raise a finger to assist in her schooling. As a matter of fact, the lady would even take her husband's side secretly because he is justified.

The FIL should vomit out the funds he extorted from the young man for the wedding and pay his daughter's fees. People like him are the ones giving our traditions a bad rep.

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